Tag: carbon offset

Sounds like Tim Geithner, Ben Bernanke and Barack Obama are in charge of carbon offsets, too

Put the printing presses in high gear. More dollars. More carbon offsets. More opinions from Al Gore. More of everything no one wants.

According to Al Gore, the creation of a carbon offset market is the magical solution to all our global warming problems. Create an American market similar to Europe’s and global warming will be halted in its tracks. And if a billion or two extra dollars should happen to end up in the Goracle’s pocket, well, that’s something that just can’t be avoided.

al-gore-money
What we need more than a carbon offset market is a bullshit offset market

Just one thing: The European market doesn’t work any better than the crystal ball Gore used to predict global warming.

Reuters has the details:

Carbon offsets neared all-time lows Friday, confirming their status as the world’s worst performing commodity, as slumping demand meets rising supply of the U.N. instrument traded under the Kyoto Protocol.

Rising supply amid slumping demand? This sounds like the United States dollar under Geithner, Bernanke and Obama.

Carbon offsets have fared uniquely badly because a U.N. climate panel continues to print new offsets, regardless of a widening glut in emissions permits in the main demand market, the European Union’s carbon market.

Put the printing presses in high gear. More dollars. More carbon offsets. More opinions from Al Gore. More of everything no one wants.

Source: Reuters

Friends and family gather at the bedside of Al Gore’s Chicago Climate Exchange

In a little reported move, the Chicago Climate Exchange (CCX) announced on Oct. 21 that it will be ending carbon trading — the only purpose for which it was founded — this year.

We are sad to report the sudden, unexpected demise of the Chicago Climate Exchange.

al gore chicago climate exchange
Al Gore points at the person responsible for the death of the CCX

PajamasMedia.com has the obituary:

Global warming-inspired cap and trade has been one of the most stridently debated public policy controversies of the past 15 years. But it is dying a quiet death. In a little reported move, the Chicago Climate Exchange (CCX) announced on Oct. 21 that it will be ending carbon trading — the only purpose for which it was founded — this year.

Although the trading in carbon emissions credits was voluntary, the CCX was intended to be the hub of the mandatory carbon trading established by a cap-and-trade law, like the Waxman-Markey scheme passed by the House in June 2009.

At its founding in November 2000, it was estimated that the size of CCX’s carbon trading market could reach $500 billion. That estimate ballooned over the years to $10 trillion.

In lieu of flowers, please make a contribution to the Al Gore Retirement Fund.

H/T: PajamasMedia.com

Global Warming: Helping the rich get richer since 1972

Anyone still holding out hope that the world is in perilous trouble due to Global Warming, Big Business, and Carbon Emissions need only to read this article from Reuters titled “No carbon market boom without U.S.: delegates.”

Anyone still holding out hope that the world is in perilous trouble due to Global Warming, Big Business, and Carbon Emissions need only to read this article from Reuters titled “No carbon market boom without U.S.: delegates.”

hold-your-breathe
If you breathe, they'll tax it.

According to the article:

“The global carbon market will not be worth $1-2 trillion a year by 2020 if the United States does not speed up efforts for a federal emissions trading scheme, delegates warned at a carbon conference in London on Monday.

“There will be, I’m afraid, no real expansion of the carbon markets to their global potential without movement in the U.S.,” said Henry Derwent, chief executive and president of the International Emissions Trading Association.

“Until someone explains to them (the U.S.) how wrong they are, we will be stuck with a comfortable living in the European market but nothing, nothing near the potential we should be earning,” he added. (emphasis ours)

Poor guy. The Americans won’t go along with the lie, so he’s stuck with making a comfortable living – not the bank he “should” be earning.

Consider it definitive proof once and for all that Global Warming/Climate Change/Man-Made Climate Disruption is nothing more than what you always knew it was – a tax on the air we breathe conceived because they’d already taxed everything else.

That’s kind of brilliant if you really think about it. Too bad the “science” had to get in the way.

– Written by Paul K

Source: Reuters.com

World saved from global warming, Aussie company trumpets “Flatulence Offsets”

No reason to be embarrassed anymore, Fido. You're saving the environment.
No reason to be embarrassed anymore, Fido. You're saving the environment.

An Australian company is selling carbon credits to make up for farting pets and people. (We agonized over that sentence, but it is what it is).

For just $27, Easy Being Green will sell you enough carbon credits to offset your dog’s annual anal methane production. Making your cat carbon neutral is a bargain at just $6.

And if you’re looking for a special anniversary or birthday gift, imagine how happy your loved one will be knowing that you spent US$16 to offset two years worth of their personal trouser trumpet production.

This is all well and good, but as highly-trained environmentalists and marketing geniuses, we think Easy Being Green is missing an obvious business opportunity.

Here’s our idea:

Wind power is intermittent, but dog farts are a constant. We propose erecting a mini-windmill in every Aussie home. Tie each windmill into the power grid. Train all Aussie dogs to fart into the windmills. The windmills spin. Power is generated free of charge. Oil imports are slashed. The economy booms. Australia becomes an ecological role model for the rest of the world.

And to think Al Gore got a Nobel Prize and we didn’t.

Source: NationalGeographic.com

Twidiot of the Day

Our Twidiot of the Day is @carbonoffsetnow.

“Tweeting is eco-friendly! Tweeting is fun and it’s nice to meet new people.”

Well, isn’t that special?

“Eating raw fruits and vegetables is a good way to go. No crops on the market today are genetically engineered to increase crop yield.”

But I’ll bet your bicycle has a bumper sticker about feeding the starving masses in Africa.

“It’s good karma to recipricate [sic] friendship! When we work together with the universe everyone is happy.”

Do you drink your Kool-Aid straight, or do you lace it with something psychedelic?

If you readers want to follow someone on Twitter with a little more grasp on reality, follow IHateTheMedia.

I HATE THE MEDIA ™
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