Tag: earthquake

Ayatollah says sexy women cause earthquakes

Start storing up your canned goods and bottled water, Hollywood. Based on this news just in from Tehran, you’re about to be devastated by the worst earthquakes in history.

Angelina Jolie
"I feel the earth move under my feet, I feel the sky tumblin' down, tumblin' down"

Start storing up your canned goods and bottled water, Hollywood. Based on this news just in from Tehran, you’re about to be devastated by the worst earthquakes in history.

The Australian sizes up the seismographic details:

A SENIOR Iranian cleric has claimed that dolled-up women incite extramarital sex, causing more earthquakes in Iran, a country that straddles several fault lines, newspapers reported today.

“Many women who dress inappropriately … cause youths to go astray, taint their chastity and incite extramarital sex in society, which increases earthquakes,” Ayatollah Kazem Sedighi told worshippers at overnight prayers in Tehran.

“Calamities are the result of people’s deeds,” he was quoted as saying by reformist Aftab-e Yazd newspaper.

“We have no way but conform to Islam to ward off dangers.”

Angelina. Jolie. Must. Be. Stopped.

Source: The Australian

Say what? President says ObamaCare will cover natural disasters like the recent Hawaiian earthquake.

We’ve been out of town for a couple days and apparently missed the story about that horrible Hawaiian earthquake.

President Obama told Fox News’ Bret Baier that he supports “The Louisiana Purchase” in Obamacare because it will cover natural disasters like the recent Hawaiian earthquake.

We’ve been out of town for a couple days and apparently missed the story about that horrible Hawaiian earthquake.

President Obama told Fox News’ Bret Baier that he supports “The Louisiana Purchase” in Obamacare because it will cover natural disasters like the recent Hawaiian earthquake.

Obama: It also affects Hawaii, which went through an earthquake. So that’s not just a Louisiana provision. That is a provision that affects every state that is going through a natural catastrophe.

Of course, there’s been no devastating Hawaiian earthquake. Did he mean Haiti? Or Chile? Or has he given up cigarettes and returned to the wacky tabacky?

Global warming causes earthquakes and tsunamis and, apparently, liberal stupidity

Joy Behar and Eve Ensler discuss how global warming causes earthquakes and tsunamis. And while we’re at it, Sarah Palin is stupid.

You can always count on Joy Behar and her guests to say something so stunningly stupid that you find yourself laughing out loud.

Like last night, for example. Eve Ensler, author of “The Vagina Monologues,” visited Behar’s studio to stake her claim on Stupidest Comment of the Year here in early February.

A transcript follows, but let us sum it up for you. Global warming causes earthquakes and tsunamis. And while we’re at it, Sarah Palin is stupid.

Ensler: Well, I just think the idea that she doesn’t believe in global warming is bizarre.
Behar: Every scientist at every note believes in it but Sarah Palin doesn’t believe in it.
Ensler: And I think we just kind of have to walk around the world at this point and look at what is happening to nature and earthquakes and tsunamis.
Behar: Right.
Ensler: And weather changes to just feel it. But I think that idea that she doesn’t believe in global warming and she could actually run for vice president, and we have a country where that is possible, it seems insane.
Behar: It’s unbelievable. It does seem insane and the fact that she has not negated the possibility of running in 2012.
Ensler: But we have. We have negated the possibility of her winning.

100% pure geniuses.

Source: NewsBusters.org

Imperialist occupation forces Americans rescue workers cheered by crowd of grateful Haitians

France says the United States rescue effort in Haiti is really an occupation. Venezuela agrees. But it looks like ordinary Haitians disagree. Maybe it’s just us, but their chants of “U.S.A., U.S.A, U.S.A” seem to indicate that they may be grateful for our presence.

France says the United States rescue effort in Haiti is really an occupation. Venezuela agrees. But it looks like ordinary Haitians disagree. Maybe it’s just us, but their chants of “U.S.A., U.S.A, U.S.A” seem to indicate that they may be grateful for our presence.

H/T: MofoPolitics.com

Danny Glover thinks the Haitian earthquake was caused by global warming. Seriously. That’s what he said.

To tell the truth, we were relieved when we heard Danny Glover blame the Haitian earthquake on global warming. It may be a sign that the left’s Bush Derangement Syndrome is finally fading.

To tell the truth, we were relieved when we heard Danny Glover blame the earthquake on global warming. It may be a sign that the left’s Bush Derangement Syndrome is finally fading.

Of course, we also realize that if you asked Glover what caused global warming, he would say, “It’s Bush’s fault.” So it’s really only one degree of separation.

Lunatic. Complete raving lunatic.

Headline of the Day II
US gives $50,000 for quake-hit Italy

$50,000 for Italian earthquake aid. It could also be the down payment on a Ferrari. But who would take our credit?
$50,000 for Italian earthquake aid. It could also be the down payment on a Ferrari. But who would take our credit?
$50,000 dollars? We’re ponying up $50,000 for our long-time allies? The munificence of it all just begs for comment:

1. That’s not even a down payment on a 2009 Ferrari 599 (manufacturer’s suggested retail price $320,580)

2. Maybe they could also toss in some DVDs and a couple iPods.

3. If Italy accepts their bailout money, will Obama have the power to remove Berlusconi? (thanks to Jonah Goldberg at National Review).

Source: Economic Times

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