Tag: crime

The government is like a person with two left feet. Heavy, heavy emphasis on the “left” part of that phrase.

In another example of government overreach, a couple in Oak Park, Michigan faces jail time for – we hope you’re sitting down – growing a garden in their front yard.

We know what you’re thinking – isn’t this something that the Obamas have been begging Americans to do?

Maybe. But could the tentacles of bureaucracy be growing at such a rate that even the best intentions of the Community Organizer-in-Chief be tripped up?

From the story:

Julie Bass says, “We thought we’re minding our own business, doing something not ostentatious and certainly not obnoxious or nothing that is a blight on the neighborhood, so we didn’t think people would care very much.”

But some cared very much and called the city. The city then sent out code enforcement.

“They warned us at first that we had to move the vegetables from the front, that no vegetables were allowed in the front yard. We didn’t move them because we didn’t think we were doing anything wrong, even according to city code we didn’t think we were doing anything wrong. So they ticketed us and charged me with a misdemeanor,” Bass said.

Typical government operation: Too little garden, too much manure.

– Written by Sven Waring at DotPenn.com

Source: The Agitator

Tamara Lee Mason wanted to play Yahtzee, but now her sons may get Life. (Get it? It was a play on the name of the board game called Life. Damn it. We hate it when we have to explain ‘em.)

But let’s get back to the story as told by the Minneapolis Star Tribune:

Tamara Lee Mason wanted to play Yahtzee with her three sons after they all returned home from Christmas dinner at a friend’s. When the boys wouldn’t, she got mad, grabbed a few things and stormed out of the house.

Well, that may be the story the three sons are telling, but police aren’t buying it. They say Dylan Clemens, 25 and his half-brothers Andrew Cobb, 18, and Jacob Cobb, 17, committed matricide.

Mason’s decomposing remains were found Thursday buried in the back yard of her home in Alberta, a town of about 130 people in far western Minnesota.

The charges said Jacob Cobb strangled his mother on the living room floor. Then he or his brother Andrew put a plastic bag over her head and tightened a belt around her neck. Clemens allegedly drove her body west to South Dakota, then east to Glenwood, Minn., before storing the corpse in a garbage can in a shed for months until the ground thawed enough for the two elder brothers to bury it.

To repeat: they strangled her, then put a plastic bag over her head and tightened a belt around her neck.

Dylan said, “Mom always said that a job worth doing is a job worth doing right.”

OK, he didn’t really say that but we kind of wish he had.

Source: Minneapolis Star Tribune

San Luis Obispo, California, the happiest place in America, has at least one unhappy resident this morning, but don’t blame us. This may be our hometown, but IHateTheMedia.com had nothing to do with it.

Ohio.com explains the story:

A California woman facing nearly five years in prison for forging drug prescriptions showed up for sentencing with a phony doctor’s note seeking a delay in the proceedings.

Michelle Elaine Astumian was free on $45,000 bail and pleaded no contest in January to felony counts of forgery and using a fraudulent check.

The 41-year-old woman arrived Monday for sentencing in a San Luis Obispo County courtroom and presented a note with a doctor’s signature asking for a postponement.

Prosecutor Dave Pomeroy called the doctor, who said the note is a forgery.
The judge immediately ordered Astumian into custody and she collapsed to the floor. An ambulance took her to a hospital.

Five years in prison for forging a doctor’s note? Hell, under ObamaCare she’ll have to wait that long just to see a doctor.

Source: Ohio.com

Some restaurants you go to for the atmosphere. Some restaurants you go to because they’re cheap. Given that the atmosphere at Taco Bell’s is largely methane, the faux Mexican fast food chain fits decidedly into the latter category. And so it is reasonable to believe that some customers may have an adverse reaction to price increases –- not to mention the Grade H meat.

Reuters reveals the whole enchilada:

A Taco Bell drive-through customer who became enraged because of a price increase on Beefy Crunch Burritos fired a BB gun through the window at a manager on Sunday, police said.

As the restaurant’s employees and customers hit the floor, the manager called police, and when officers arrived, the angry patron fired several shots at the police cars, Benavides said.

The man then barricaded himself inside a nearby motel room, sparking a standoff that lasted until police lobbed tear gas inside and the man surrendered.

Benavides said the burritos had been sold for 99 cents each as a promotion, but the man was apparently angry that the promotion had ended, and the price had gone up to $1.49.

The name of the ‘taco rage’ suspect has not been released because he had not yet been formally charged early Monday. Benavides said that the man will be charged with three counts of attempted capital murder, and that additional charges are possible.

Yo quiero taco bail.

– Written by Kip Hooker at TheVitaminPress.com

Source: Reuters

Crack addict. Get it? Ass crack. C’mon, that’s a pretty funny headline considering that it was written at 3:30 a.m. Show the Editor a little love here.

But enough begging. Here’s the crazy story from the Smoking Gun:

Sentenced and jailed Tuesday on a narcotics conviction, a California man smuggled a Kyocera cell phone, an MP3 player, ear bud headphones, marijuana, tobacco, and $140 in cash into a county lockup by hiding the contraband in his rectum, investigators allege.The items were recovered when Lake County corrections officers strip searched Earl Lee Vogt and tossed his cell. The searches Wednesday evening were prompted when a jailer detected the smell of marijuana in the 29-year-old tattoo artist’s cell.

Vogt, pictured in the post-surrender mug shot at right, was sentenced Tuesday to nearly four years in prison and immediately remanded to the custody of the sheriff’s department. Investigators believe that Vogt “keystered” the contraband to get it into the lockup, according to one official. While the cash was found in his cell, the other items were found inside a sock.

When questioned by a sheriff’s deputy who thought he was feeling discomfort, Vogt denied being in pain, though he noted, “My ass is bleeding.”

The inmate in the next cell reportedly hollered, “Turn off that shitty music.”

Rim shot.

Source: The Smoking Gun

Let’s hear it for the rooster. A California man has died after being stabbed in the leg by a sharp blade attached to a fighting cock.

The New York Post reports the poetic justice:

Jose Luis Ochoa, 35, was taken to a local hospital shortly after police responded to a reported cockfight last Sunday in Lamont, Calif., a town nine miles south-southeast of Bakersfield.

An autopsy revealed Wednesday that Ochoa’s death was accidental and caused by an injury to his right calf.

“I have never seen this type of incident,” Sgt. Martin King, a 24-year veteran, told the paper. But he noted that it was not surprising that Ochoa died since one of his major arteries had likely been severed. “People have been known to bleed out from those injuries if medical attention is not obtained immediately.”

You’re among friends. Admit it. Don’t you kind of enjoy stories like this? Doesn’t it give you a certain sense of satisfaction hearing that someone who would pay to see such a barbaric sport ends up the victim of that sport? And along a similar vein, don’t you always hope the bull wins the bull fight?

We thought so.

Source: New York Post

What are the odds? We went two years without ever mentioning the word “hickey” here at IHateTheMedia.com and now we end up with two hickey stories in the same week.

CBS Boston has details of what Perry Mason would have called The Case of the Boisterous Bruise:

Police found 34-year-old Troy Burston wounded outside a home on Exchange Avenue at 10:40 p.m. Sunday. He was not wearing a shirt and had been stabbed in the chest.

He was rushed to Lawrence Memorial Hospital where he died.

Police arrested his wife, 39-year-old Shawntina Burston.

Investigators say the two had come home from a party and began arguing and hitting each other. She allegedly found a hickey on his neck and stabbed him with a cooking knife.

Looks like she didn’t buy the old “Honest, honey, my neck ran into a door knob” excuse.

Source: CBS Boston

20-year old Nicholas Duffy of Sandy, Utah had a bad day last week.

First he was arrested, because that’s the sort of thing police tend to do when they discover you have outstanding warrants. Then, while he was being transported to jail, he told the officers that he wasn’t feeling well. When the officer kindly rolled down the back window so Duffy could get a little fresh air, the criminal genius saw his chance to escape.

He wiggled out the window. Of course, since he was handcuffed and the police car was speeding down he freeway at the time of his escape, Duffy’s landing didn’t go quite as smoothly as he had hoped for. He was injured and immediately arrested again.

And it’s all on video.

NOTE: In Duffy’s defense, the Editor has been to Sandy, Utah and escape was also the only thing on his mind during his entire visit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTb-5X2XXTE