Crack addict? Jailers find cell phone, MP3 player, headphones, cash and pot up inmate’s butt

by editor on March 26, 2011

Crack addict. Get it? Ass crack. C’mon, that’s a pretty funny headline considering that it was written at 3:30 a.m. Show the Editor a little love here.

But enough begging. Here’s the crazy story from the Smoking Gun:

earl lee vogt butt

Earl Lee Vogt must not be a liberal. Otherwise he would have had his head up his ass, too.

Sentenced and jailed Tuesday on a narcotics conviction, a California man smuggled a Kyocera cell phone, an MP3 player, ear bud headphones, marijuana, tobacco, and $140 in cash into a county lockup by hiding the contraband in his rectum, investigators allege.The items were recovered when Lake County corrections officers strip searched Earl Lee Vogt and tossed his cell. The searches Wednesday evening were prompted when a jailer detected the smell of marijuana in the 29-year-old tattoo artist’s cell.

Vogt, pictured in the post-surrender mug shot at right, was sentenced Tuesday to nearly four years in prison and immediately remanded to the custody of the sheriff’s department. Investigators believe that Vogt “keystered” the contraband to get it into the lockup, according to one official. While the cash was found in his cell, the other items were found inside a sock.

When questioned by a sheriff’s deputy who thought he was feeling discomfort, Vogt denied being in pain, though he noted, “My ass is bleeding.”

The inmate in the next cell reportedly hollered, “Turn off that shitty music.”

Rim shot.

Source: The Smoking Gun

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15 Comments on "Crack addict? Jailers find cell phone, MP3 player, headphones, cash and pot up inmate’s butt"

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David Duff
Guest
March 27, 2011 6:22 am

Oh dear, I worry for you all ‘over there’ lest that rather odd looking woman with the short back and sides (er, I mean, her hair cut) who runs your Homeland Security should get to hear of this. It will make your airport terminals even more fascinating if somewhat smelly!

redabogado
Member
redabogado
March 27, 2011 7:12 pm

TSA, Total Sh*t Anal-lysers.

deepthinker
Guest
deepthinker
March 27, 2011 5:47 am

Guess he was truly a big ass hole.

hisham
Guest
hisham
March 26, 2011 9:53 pm

You guys and gals would be suprised what someone can hide up their butts. Working in a prison as I do, I’ve seen some strange (shit) fall out of the fart factory!

Paden
Member
Paden
March 26, 2011 8:18 pm

He probably rattles when he “breaks wind”.
His cell mate keeps thinking he hears wind chimes..??

RockingHorseGuy
Member
March 26, 2011 6:38 pm

He does look rather uncomfortable in the mug shot. I bet he farts a lot quieter now, though.

Paden
Member
Paden
March 26, 2011 4:32 pm

If he had any brains he would’ve shoved a cordless sawzall up his rectum.

Rectum? Damn near killed him!

jukin
Guest
jukin
March 26, 2011 9:06 am

Is that cell phone in your ass or are you just happy to see me?

Mike Tyson goes to jail and gets a big old red neck as a cell mate. The big red neck asks “DO you want to be the husband or the wife?” Mike says that he would like to be the husband. The red neck replies “Great!. Now get over here and suck your wife’s dick.”

rimshot

StrinaM
Member
March 26, 2011 8:20 am

Wow! That is one big A-hole!!! The guy, too…

sifi
Member
sifi
March 26, 2011 7:11 am

Only Christopher Walken could pull this off successfully.

Plainsman
Member
Plainsman
March 26, 2011 5:13 am

Holy Sphincter, Batman, that’s one bad ass reefer you smokin’ there.

Big Al
Member
Big Al
March 26, 2011 3:12 am

During lock up his ass turned out to be a Playstation.

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