Tag: stimulus

Alexandra Pelosi: Documentarian. Author. Media critic?

alexandra_pelosiAlexandra Pelosi, daughter of the overly-Botoxed Speaker of the House, now makes documentaries. Her latest work, “Right America: Feeling Wronged,” premiers Monday on HBO.

Pelosi labels herself as a fierce media critic. Once, while speaking to a group of journalism students at NYU, she said the media is “the biggest problem that we have in America right now.” She even wrote a book called, “Sneaking into the Flying Circus: How the Media Turn Our Presidential Campaigns into Freak Shows.” It covers such fertile ground as the media’s “dysfunctional relationship” with candidates.

Let’s make a deal. We’ll read Alexandra Pelosi’s book as soon as her mother reads the economic “stimulus” plan she just passed.

What we haven’t read will cost you $15 on Amazon.com right now. What Pelosi hasn’t read will cost us $1,000,000,000,000. If we’re lucky.

Hooray for Hollywood: Stimulus package already working

mad_money_movieEvery Saturday morning, the movie industry announces three day box offices results for a weekend that still has two days to go. That makes Hollywood the only business in the world that is able to both rewrite history and the future.

For example, a headline yesterday read, “What Recession? Biggest Presidents Day Weekend In Hollywood History.”

This uncanny ability to peer into the future brings up one very sticky question:
If movie industry executives have the ability to tell how a movie is going to do before it does it, why do they make so many movies that do so poorly? Continue reading “Hooray for Hollywood: Stimulus package already working”

New York Times attempts to bail out the bail-out expert

Here’s all the evidence you need – if you still needed any — to convince yourself that the New York Times sees the world differently than you do.

After the stock market dropped nearly 400 points upon hearing Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner’s vague outline of his “stimulus” plan, The Times seemed to blame the decline on television’s talking heads.

“Initial reviews for the man and his plan were not good, however. Stock markets slid through the day, perhaps spurred downward by withering punditry on the business-news cable channels faulting Mr. Geithner for not providing more details, particularly on stemming home foreclosures. Senators of both parties lodged similar complaints at a hearing.”

Next week the Times has scheduled an article blaming Captain Sullenberger for running into those poor geese.

Welcome to 1600 Porksylvania Avenue. Can we take you on a tour?

Just based on the following comment, some crafty publisher is probably preparing a book called, “The Wit and Wisdom of Our Fearless Leader.” Because this Obama guy, he’s a laugh riot.

“I know that there are a lot of folks out there who’ve been saying, ‘Oh, this is pork, and this is money that’s going to be wasted,’ and et cetera, et cetera,” President Obama glibly noted. “Understand, this bill does not have a single earmark in it, which is unprecedented for a bill of this size…There aren’t individual pork projects that members of Congress are putting into this bill.”

To that, we say, “If that ain’t pork we smell, they must be barbecuing ribs over at Harry Reed’s house.”

If the media won’t tell you what’s in it, we will. Here, thanks to the good folks over at National Review Online, is a brief list of the pork that peppers the “stimulus” bill: Continue reading “Welcome to 1600 Porksylvania Avenue. Can we take you on a tour?”

Lefty Krugman likes Republican stimulus plan. Kinda. Sorta.

Don’t get too carried away with the headline. In reality, he doesn’t like either “stimulus” plan. He just likes Obama’s plan less than the Republican plan.

“Mr. Obama got nothing in return for his bipartisan outreach,” Paul Krugman concluded a recent article. “Not one Republican voted for the House version of the stimulus plan, which was, by the way, better focused than the original administration proposal.”

Krugman’s faint praise is like saying, “Your second ugliest sister is prettier than your ugliest sister.”

But he doesn’t really want to kiss either of them.

Now that’s what we call a stimulus package

Sometimes we love the media
Sometimes we love the media

The 23-year-old Israeli-born model Bar Refaeli was allegedly slated for last year’s Sports Illustrated cover, but was dropped and replaced by Marisa Miller when Bar couldn’t keep the good news to herself. As Page Six reports: “It’s very secretive, and the magazine likes to keep people guessing.”

Boyfriend and overpaid actor Leonardo DiCaprio has been pushing hard to get his squeeze on the cover. But judging from the photos and video, his effort was unnecessary.

Obama’s stimulus plan has been criticized for not taking effect fast enough. After the obligatory research the IHTM staff must rigorously and dutifully perform, we can report with certainly that the Bar Refaeli package provides instantaneous stimulation.

Now the Philadelphia newspaper wants bail-out money.

photo by Flickr's yomanimus
photo by Flickr's yomanimus

Let’s see if we can keep track of it all. The banks want bail-out money. Wall Street wants bail-out money. The states want bail-out money. Cities want bail-out money. The steel industry wants bail-out money. Who’s left?

Ah, let’s not forget newspapers. Now the Philadelphia Inquirer wants a $10 million government bailout. And Democrat Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell thinks it’s a grand idea.

Our position on the bail-out is very simple. No money for the Inquirer until after IHateTheMedia.com gets bail-out money.

After all, this is a very expensive operation we’re running here. We have a huge staff of highly-trained reporters stationed around the world. We have massive internet infrastructure costs. Not to mention all our wild parties with cocaine and hookers and other crazy stuff.

This operation is expensive, damn it, and we want bail-out money, too.

Stephanopoulos condemns Obama’s “bi-partisan nirvana”

george_stephanopoulosIgnoring the fact that Republicans were shut out of writing the “stimulus” bill, George Stephanopoulos said Sunday that President Obama has been too bi-partisan.

“Some White House officials I talk to concede that he put too much emphasis on ‘non-partisan nirvana’ rather than on getting the job done,” Stephanopoulos said.

Then Stephanopoulos momentarily lost concentration and gave a more realistic assessment. “Because the White House set the goal of bi-partisanship, maybe even 80 Senate votes, this does have the feel of a failure, even though it’s a great success.”

Please allow us to make a pithy observation.

“The difference between the Obama administration and the Reagan administration? One has the fear of failure. The other had a failure of fear.

– IHateTheMedia.com, 2009

You can quote us.

It’s hard work figuring out how many jobs Obama’s going to create. Or save. Or whatever.

It’s bad news when even CNN starts to figure out that Obama is waffling on his promises.

“There are now questions about how many jobs Mr. Obama is promising to create,” CNN’s Ed Henry said on Anderson Cooper’s show. He used three different video clips of Obama talking about job “creation” and each clip featured a different number.

“But Republicans are now wondering if the President has been hedging a little to scale back expectations,” Henry noted.

In related news, Obama said he would have troops out of Iraq in 18 months, or 24 months, or possibly 36 months. Maybe.

Creative accounting: now Hollywood wants bail-out money

http://youtube.com/watch?v=TctjzEeNnI4The more creative you are in Hollywood, the more money you make. Especially if your specialty is accounting.

Hollywood has now lined-up with tin cups in hand, begging for an infusion of tax dollars. One provision of the “stimulus” bill would have given new film projects an immediate 50% write-off.

Republicans, lead by Senator Tom Coburn (R-OK), shamed Democrats into stripping $246 million in movie industry tax breaks from the bloated bill.

They contend Hollywood doesn’t need they money. “They had their best January ever,” Coburn said.

If one were cynical, one might assume the tax breaks were designed as a payback for the campaign dollars Hollywood showered on Obama.

To see how the Hollywood bail-out would have been structured, Democrats watched the attached instructional video.

Obama parrots FDR poorly, says “The only thing we have is fear itself.”

So much for the triumph of hope over fear. In an op-ed piece in today’s Washington Post, President Obama attempted to scare the livin’ bejeebers out of everyone.

He warned Congress to act quickly on his “stimulus” bill and warned that that failure to act could plunge us into a recession that might prove irreversible.

Irreversible. The world will plunge into a recession – maybe a depression – from which we will never recover. Never.

“Never,” according to a source within the Democratic National Committee, is defined as “A period of time so long that Obama won’t get re-elected.”

Pelosi: “Every month…500,000,000 Americans lose their jobs”

Here’s another one to add to the “Best of Nancy Pelosi” reel. Nancy “The Genius” Pelosi says that every month we don’t pass the economic stimulus bill, another 500 million Americans lose their jobs.

She must be including illegal aliens.

Nancy Pelosi loves Obama’s package

She's never seen such a big package
She's never seen such a big package

An entry from Nancy Pelosi’s diary: “I couldn’t take my eyes off the tall, dark man across the room. I wasn’t ashamed of what I thought. ‘Barack has the biggest package I’ve ever seen. I know big pork when I see it. And I want Barack’s pork.'”

And then the House of Representatives voted and Nancy’s dream came true. She and her fellow Democrats passed the biggest, most pork-laden spending bill in the history of the world.

Immediately after the House of Representatives’ vote on President Obama’s stimulus package, the media began furiously spinning the results.

“Republicans voted along party lines.”

“Not one Republican voted for the president’s stimulus.”

“Republicans deny president’s bipartisan effort.”

The final tally? 177 Republicans and eleven Democrats voted “no.” 244 Democrats and zero Republicans voted in favor of the bill.

But Nancy didn’t care. She got her pork.

Stimulus package “unstimulating”

We’ve got trouble in River City. And the river is the Potomac. And the city is Washington, DC.

Looks like even leftwing puppets Jim Cramer and Chris Matthews are questioning the stimulus bill’s meager infrastructure spending.

“Take the infrastructure number. Do you know that it’s $30 billion for infrastructure for bridges?” Cramer queried. “The ‘Big Dig’ cost $22 billion…and it only put 5,000 to work…It’s not gonna put a lot of people to work.”

“Why in the world aren’t we doing what they said they were going to do – build bridges, factory jobs, replace the smell of decay with the smell of construction?” Matthews said.

Matthews went on to say other things — many other things, in fact — interrupting Cramer and other guests and complete strangers, but it was all so incoherent that we won’t bother quoting it here.

Hell, we’re still wondering what “the smell of construction” might be.

Couric wonders “What more can Obama do?”

question_markThe economy may be in a recession, but the network news anchors were thrown into full scale depression when House Republicans unanimously rejected Obama’s stimulus bill.

“The President went up to the Hill to personally appeal to Republicans already,” Katie Couric sighed. “What more can he do?”

“Republicans relentlessly attacked the bill,” wailed CBS reporter Chip Reid, “despite the President’s extraordinary efforts to get bipartisan support.”

“Not one Republican voted for it,” whimpered ABC anchor Charles Gibson, “turning a cold shoulder to the President’s appeal for bipartisan support.”

So much for the President’s charm offensive,” said reporter Jonathan Karl. “Today it was all partisan rancor and name-calling.”

We hope the president’s universal healthcare plan calls for universal Valium prescriptions. Looks like the news anchors are going to need it.

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