The economy may be in a recession, but the network news anchors were thrown into full scale depression when House Republicans unanimously rejected Obama’s stimulus bill.
“The President went up to the Hill to personally appeal to Republicans already,” Katie Couric sighed. “What more can he do?”
“Republicans relentlessly attacked the bill,” wailed CBS reporter Chip Reid, “despite the President’s extraordinary efforts to get bipartisan support.”
“Not one Republican voted for it,” whimpered ABC anchor Charles Gibson, “turning a cold shoulder to the President’s appeal for bipartisan support.”
So much for the President’s charm offensive,” said reporter Jonathan Karl. “Today it was all partisan rancor and name-calling.”
We hope the president’s universal healthcare plan calls for universal Valium prescriptions. Looks like the news anchors are going to need it.
