News 2 – Page 89 – I HATE THE MEDIA ™

Whew! Global warming Armageddon postponed for 200 years!

2200? The global warming narrative has completely fallen apart. It used to be that they tried to scare us by saying our children would all die from global warming. Now it’s been delayed to our great, great, great, great, great grandchildren.

polar-bear-global-warming — The polar bears are saved! The polar bears are saved!

You pretty much knew the global warming scare was petering out when Al Gore bought a beach front house near Santa Barbara. Now global warming scientists have confirmed that the oceans won’t be lapping at his front door anytime soon.

The Independent UK has the hot news on global warming:

The 14 scientists, all experts in their fields of climate research, were asked about the probability of a tipping point being reached some time before 2200 if global warming continued on the course of the worst-case scenarios predicted by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC).

Nine of the fourteen scientists said that the chances of a tipping point for the high scenario were greater than 90 per cent, with only one saying that the chances were less than 50:50. At current rates of CO2 emissions, the world is on course for following the higher trajectory on global warming suggested by the IPCC.

(By the way, we love the last line of that story. Doesn’t matter that even true global warming believers have indefinitely postponed Armageddon for 200 years, the Independent says things are even worse than the worst IPCC scare stories.)

Source: Independent UK

If you can’t dazzle them with bullshit, baffle them with brilliance. Or something like that.

We can no doubt be forgiven for guessing that The Greatest President In History borrowed a couple of the admen from the old Guinness commercials to write the mainstream media’s latest talking points.

After all, faced with a decision to replace the commanding general in Afghanistan that amounted to the equivalent of “hit yourself in the face with a shovel” versus “don’t hit yourself in the face with a shovel”, Obama has been hailed as brilliant by countless ~~liberal media shills~~ journalists for choosing the don’t hit yourself option.

So we can all count ourselves “brilliant” for remembering to wear pants this morning even if we were supposed to wear pants. Or for remembering to pick up our kids from school. Just brilliant.

Is it just us or has the bar for brilliance dropped just a tad since the last presidential election?

How to stop the Gusher in the Gulf

If there’s one man in the world with the ability to stop the Gusher in the Gulf, it’s MacGyver. Give that man a Swiss army knife, a roll of duct tape, a paper clip, a rubber band and a garden hose and he’ll plug that thing faster than President Obama can say, “It’s Bush’s fault.”

Obama says, “You should be glad my economic policies haven’t caused even more damage.”

“Unemployment’s still at 9.6%,” the President said. “Yes, but it’s not 12 or 13 or 15.”

On a similar note, millions of gallons of oil have poured out of the Gusher in the Gulf. Yes, but it’s not billions.

(By the way, Mr. President, the unemployment rate is 9.7%, not 9.6%.)

H/T: Real Clear Politics

IHateTheMedia.com throws its full support behind Rep Steve King’s amnesty plan

Iowa Congressman Steve King has come up with a brilliant amnesty plan that even conservatives can happily endorse.

steve king amnesty plan — Under Steve King's amnesty plan, we'd get an illegal alien, but Mexico would get Nancy Pelosi.

Iowa Congressman Steve King has come up with a brilliant amnesty plan that even conservatives can happily endorse.

The Denver Post has details:

Northern Colorado residents gathered in support of Arizona’s new immigration law at a 9-12 Movement rally Saturday afternoon.

Iowa Congressman Steve King and former U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo of Colorado headlined the “United We Stand Behind Arizona” event, which drew more than 100 people despite only two days’ notice.

…King said that under only one circumstance does he support amnesty for illegal immigrants: “Every time we give amnesty for an illegal alien, we deport a liberal.”

Seems like a fair trade. We’d even go 2-for-1 on Nancy Pelosi.

Source: Denver Post

Franken doodle dandy

An Associated Press photographer got a shot over Frank’s shoulder that caught him drawing a damn nice likeness of Alabama Senator Jeff Sessions instead of paying attention to the testimony.

Day One of the Elena Kagan hearings: Al Franken falls asleep. Day Two of the Elena Kagan hearings: Al Franken doodles.

An Associated Press photographer got a shot over Frank’s shoulder that caught him drawing a damn nice likeness of Alabama Senator Jeff Sessions instead of paying attention to the testimony.

Minnesota, you must be proud.

Source: StarTribune.com

Your tax dollars at work: $1.44 Million spent to study male prostitutes in Vietnam

Last year, we reported that congress had authorized $2.6 million to train Chinese hookers how to drink. Now we’re spending another $1.44 million to study male prostitutes in Vietnam.

congress whore house — The world's largest, most expensive whore house likes to fund research into prostitutes

Last year, we reported that congress had authorized $2.6 million to train Chinese hookers how to drink. Now we’re spending another $1.44 million to study male prostitutes in Vietnam.

You ask, “Why congress would fund so many research projects on prostitutes?” And we’d answer, “Professional courtesy.”

CNS News reports the screwed up story:

The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), a component of the National Institutes of Health (NIH), has so far awarded $1.44 million in federal funds to a project that, among other things, is estimating the size of the population and examining the “social milieu” of male prostitutes in Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam.

“In Study 1, formative ethnography will be used to describe the settings, venues, and overall social milieu in which male sex work is being situated,” says the NIH abstract for the grant. “In Study 2, we will conduct a Capture-Recapture Survey to estimate the size of the male sex worker population in each city.”

The grant project began in July 2008 and is scheduled to run through March 2012. In fiscal year 2008, the NIH awarded the project $534,201 in federal funds. In fiscal year 2009, the NIH awarded the project $465,974; and in fiscal year 2010, the NIH awarded the project $442,340. So far, a total of $1,442,515 in federal funds have been awarded to the project.

What are the odds that this research was funded while Larry Craig was still in office?

Source: CNSnews.com

Al Franken catches a little shut-eye during Elena Kagan’s opening statement

As our grandmothers used to say, “He’s just resting his eyes.” C’mon, Senator Franken, this thing’s going to go on for days. And days. And days.

As our grandmothers used to say, “He’s just resting his eyes.”

C’mon, Senator Franken, this thing’s going to go on for days. And days. And days.

If the woman puts you to sleep with her opening ~~bullshit~~ statement, what’s it going to be like when your colleagues start preening for the TV cameras and Kagan starts droning on with her rehearsed answers?

You might as well bring in a cot and a banky.

Another one of those darn oversights: Obama aide forgot to disclose $40,000 payout

It could happen to anyone. It just plain slipped Patrick Gaspard’s mind. You know, kind of like paying taxes slipped the minds of Tim Geithner and Tom Daschle.

patrick-gaspard-obama-back-taxes — Isn't that the same look Gary Coleman had on his face every time he said, "What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

It could happen to anyone. It just plain slipped Patrick Gaspard’s mind. You know, kind of like paying taxes slipped the minds of Tim Geithner and Tom Daschle.

Politico.com has details of the most transparent, but absent-minded administration in history:

President Barack Obama’s political director failed to disclose that he was slated to receive a nearly $40,000 payout from a large labor union while he was working in the White House.

Patrick Gaspard, who served as the political director for the Service Employees International Union local 1199, received $37,071.46 in “carried over leave and vacation” from the union in 2009, but he did not disclose the agreement to receive the payment on his financial disclosure forms filed with the White House.

In a section on his financial disclosure where agreements or arrangements for payment by a former employer must be disclosed, Gaspard checked a box indicating that he had nothing to report.

We must be getting old and the Alzheimer’s must be kicking in, because we can’t remember the last time we forgot receiving $40,000 in severance pay.

Source: Politico.com

History’s most inspirational leaders: Community organizers need not apply

One of the following quotes comes from an inspirational leader. The other comes from a successful community organizer.

“Hitler knows that he will have to break us in this Island or lose the war. If we can stand up to him, all Europe may be free and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sunlit uplands. But if we fail, then the whole world, including the United States, including all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the abyss of a new Dark Age made more sinister, and perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted science. Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, ‘This was their finest hour.’ ”
– Winston Churchill on Germany, June 18, 1940

“I don’t have a crystal ball. I think that right now the debate surrounding Afghanistan is presented as either we get up and leave immediately because there’s no chance at a positive outcome, or we stay basically indefinitely and do quote unquote whatever it takes for as long as it takes.”
– Barack Obama on Afghanistan, June 27, 2010

It’s no wonder Obama returned that bust of Churchill to the British government. He couldn’t stand up to the withering glare it was giving him.

Source: Wall Street Journal

Help wanted: 1080 virgins, must be able to start immediately (15 jihadists just blew themselves up with their own bomb)

The demand for virgins is considerably higher in Afghanistan than it is in, say, Al Gore’s hotel room. And as long as idiot jihadists keep blowing themselves up with their own bombs, that situation should remain unchanged.

afghanistan jihadists blow themselves up — Another 15 jihadists have requisitioned their allotment of virgins

MonstersAndCritics.com has the details on the jihadists’ latest virgin requisition:

15 Islamists, including foreign fighters, have blown themselves up when the bombs they were building detonated prematurely inside an Afghan Mosque.

Eight Arab, five Pakistani and two Afghan militants were killed when bombs they were making exploded prematurely inside a mosque in eastern Afghanistan, the Interior Ministry said Sunday.

The insurgents were assembling bombs in Desi Mosque of Yousifkhela district in the south-eastern province of Paktika on Friday, the ministry said.

Pakika borders the Pakistani town of Wana, where Taliban militants are said to have training bases. Afghan officials have repeatedly blamed Islamabad for not doing enough to clamp down on cross-border infiltration by insurgents.

Got that? They blew themselves up while making bombs in a mosque. But if our troops were to storm that mosque, we would undoubtedly hear the dreary refrain that it was one of the holiest sites in all of Islam.

And holy it would appear to be, at least for those who worship wanton death and destruction.

Source: MonstersAndCritics.com

“Biden went off on me,” says the owner of the frozen custard store. “I was shocked.”

Scott Borkin is one lucky man. The owner of the Milwaukee area frozen custard shop who looked Joe Biden in the eye and said, “Lower our taxes” was damn lucky Biden didn’t go all ninja on him.

Borkin obviously forgot President Obama’s warning back in February, 2009, that “Nobody messes with Joe.”

Remembering Robert Byrd: Late great grand kleagle says, “White niggers” in TV interview

We’ll miss Senator Robert Byrd. The former grand kleagle of the Ku Klux Klan made it so easy to point out Democrat racial hypocrisy by saying things like, “I’ve seen a lot of white niggers, if you want to use that word…”

Funny thing is, we didn’t see that mentioned in any of the West Virginia senator’s obituaries.

How the hell did we miss these quotes from Al Gore’s masseuse?

Damn it. That’s what we get for skimming over the police statement made by Al Gore’s masseuse. The Washington Examiner pulled two quotes that we somehow overlooked.

al-gore-chakra — Euphemism alert: Al Gore needs to have his chakra released

Damn it. That’s what we get for skimming over the police statement made by Al Gore’s masseuse. The Washington Examiner pulled two quotes that we somehow overlooked.

Please allow us to correct that oversight by quoting the Examiner.

Quote #1: Chakra to me, chakra to me, chakra to me

Then, abruptly, the former vice president changed tone. It was “as though he had very suddenly switched personalities,” she recalled and began in a pleading tone, pleading for release of his second chakra there.”

“Chakra,” in Gore’s new-agey jargon, refers to the body’s “energy centers,” which the masseuse interpreted as having a specific meaning. “This was yet another euphemism for sexual activity he was requesting,” she told police, “put cleverly as though it were a spiritual request or something.”

Quote #2: Just suck it up

Finally she got away. Later, she talked to friends, liberals like herself, who advised against telling police. One asked her “to just suck it up; otherwise, the world’s going to be destroyed from global warming.”

Thanks, Mr. Former Vice President. Looks like you not only invented the internet, you invented funny.

Source: Washington Examiner

Pakistan blocks anti-Islamic sites. To that, we say screw you and the camel you rode in on, Muhammad.

We would consider it an honor to be monitored and blocked by Pakistan’s Islamic extremists. It would be, perhaps, the highest honor that can be bestowed in the blogosphere.

Muhammad Cartoon for Pakistan — Will this be enough to get IHateTheMedia.com blocked in Pakistan?

IHateTheMedia.com is not an anti-Islamic site. Not even close. Sure, we occasionally run stories on Islamic extremists and lunacy they engage in around the world, but that’s just reporting reality.

That being said, we would consider it an honor to be monitored and blocked by Pakistan’s Islamic extremists. It would be, perhaps, the highest honor that can be bestowed in the blogosphere.

The Associated Press reports on Pakistan’s preemptory perfidy:

Pakistan will monitor seven major websites, including Google and Yahoo, to block anti-Islamic links and content, an official said Friday. Seventeen lesser-known sites are being blocked outright for alleged blasphemous material.

The moves follow Pakistan’s temporary ban imposed on Facebook in May that drew both praise and condemnation in a country that has long struggled to figure out how strict a version of Islam it should follow.

Both the Facebook ban and the move announced Friday were in response to court orders. The sites to be monitored include those of Yahoo Inc., Google Inc. and its YouTube service, Amazon.com Inc. and MSN, Hotmail and Bing from Microsoft Corp., said Pakistan Telecommunication Authority spokesman Khurram Mehran.

“If any particular link with offensive content appears on these websites, the (link) shall be blocked immediately without disturbing the main website,” Mehran said.

Have we mentioned that Muhammad was a child molester?

Source: Associated Press

Even Prince Harry’s first pitch is better than Obama’s

We’re told by the biased left wing media that Obama is one of the finest athletes to have ever resided in the White House. Yet we’ve seen video of old ladies and children making better ceremonial first pitches than the ones Obama’s made.

Here’s England’s Little Lord Fauntleroy, who grew up playing cricket – which has a completely different throwing motion than baseball – making the ceremonial first pitch at Saturday’s Mets game.

For god’s sake, President Obama, if a bloody Limey Prince, who’s probably never thrown a baseball in his life, can fire a heater down the middle, why can’t the finest athlete who’s ever resided in the White House?

H/T: Gateway Pundit

Good news! Liberal state being flooded with illegal aliens leaving conservative state

Surely, the good people of New Mexico, lead by liberal Governor Bill Richardson, will put out the welcome mat at the Arizona border and greet their newest residents at the state line with champagne, confetti and welfare checks.

Consider this a textbook case of cause and effect.

The cause: Conservative Arizona passes its new anti-illegal alien law.

The effect: Said same illegal aliens immediately pack their bags and move next door to liberal New Mexico.

Middle class abandoning Obama like he’s a Chinese
baby girl

A new Gallop poll reports the only – repeat, only – income group in which Obama still scores over 50% approval is those making $24,000 or less per year.

Translation: The takers still like our socialist president, but the makers don’t.

CNS News reports the low down on lower class preferences:

The middle class is abandoning President Barack Obama, according to data released by the Gallup Poll. The only income bracket among which a majority still says they approve of the job he is doing as president are those earning $2,000 per month or less.

During the week of June 7-13, only 46 percent of Americans overall told Gallup they approved of the job Obama is doing as president, tying for the worst week of Obama’s presidency. Two weeks ago, forty-six percent also said they approved of the job Obama is doing, and last week 47 percent said they approved.

But when the president’s approval is separated by incomes groups, it is only the lowest income bracket recorded by Gallup—those who earn less than $2,000 per month—that gives Obama a majority approval rating, with 52 percent saying they approved of the job he is doing as president.

Among those earning $2,000 to $4,999 per month (or $24,000 to $59,988 per year), 46 percent said they approved of the job Obama is doing. Among those earning $5,000 to $7,499 per month ($60,000 to $89,988 per year), 44 percent said they approved of the job Obama is doing. And among those earning $7,500 or more per month ($90,000 per year or more), the highest income bracket recorded by Gallup, 47 percent said they approved of the job Obama is doing.

We conducted an informal poll here at IHateTheMedia.com. Turns out 93% of us like Chinese baby girls. 7% of us like it when Obama plays golf because that means he’s out where he can’t cause any damage.

Source: CNSnews.com

Oops. Al Gore Massage Session hidden cam video surfaces

Al Gore denies trying to show the wonders of his hockey stick to a Portland, Oregon massage therapist, whose charges against him are now public in a Portland Police Report. But, Al, you invented the internet, you hang with the techies at Google and Apple, and you didn’t know how easy it was to have your little encounter secretly videotaped?

Yup, we’ve got our hot little hands on the video.

We present to you the exclusive Chinese language video of the Former Next President of the United States’ massage therapy session.

How do you say Not So Happy Ending in Mandarin?

Custard stand owner says, “Lower our taxes.” Joe Biden replies, “Don’t be a smart ass.”

The garrulous Veep ordered a custard and when he asked the how much he owed, the owner answered, “Nothing, just lower our taxes.” A few minutes laer, Biden sought out the manager and said, “If I say something nice, you don’t have to be a smartass.”

Joe Biden hit the campaign trail in Wisconsin Friday to campaign with Wisconsin Democrat Senator Russ Feingold. Between appearances, the duo stopped to sweeten their beaks at Kopp’s Frozen Custard in Glendale, Wisconsin.

The garrulous Veep ordered a custard and when he asked the how much he owed, the owner answered, “Nothing, just lower our taxes.”

The chastised Biden turned and walked away without saying a word. First time we’ve ever seen Biden speechless.

A few minutes laer, Biden sought out the manager and said, “If I say something nice, you don’t have to be a smartass.”

Should have stayed speechless, Joe.

Your tax dollars are hard at work in the Gulf, but only for ten minutes per hour

News flash! It’s hot down in the Gulf. Because of that heat, but despite the urgency of the clean-up, OSHA regulations say that clean-up workers can work just ten minutes per hour.

News flash! It’s hot down in the Gulf. Because of that heat, but despite the urgency of the clean-up, OSHA regulations say that clean-up workers can work just ten minutes per hour. We assume they get paid for sitting in the shade and drinking Gatorade the other 50 minutes each hour.

Buck Lee of the Santa Rosa Island Authority revealed this tasty little morsel on Hardball.

Even Chris Matthews was so horrified by this idiotic regulation that he ended the interview by giving Lee the White House phone number so he can ask for help.

Keep dialing, Buck. Bobby Jindal and Haley Barbour have been calling that number for weeks and getting nothing but busy signals.

Poor Ed Schultz tries to blame General McChrystal, an Obama appointee, on Bush

Poor, pathetic Ed Schultz. He tries to blame General McChrystal, an Obama appointee, on Bush. And gets nailed on the facts.

Poor, pathetic Ed Schultz. If we were betting men, we’d say he was probably the fat kid who got picked on by bullies every day during recess.

“Gen. McChrystal has put the president of the United States in an untenable position,” the chubby MSNBC host said. “The president either has to fire him or let this culture of insubordination permeate through the ranks of the men and women under his command…”

“So, once again, here’s President Obama,” Schultz continued. “He has to fix yet another problem he inherited from the Bush administration. I want the president to step up, stand up, take charge, and fire this jackass, Gen. McChrystal. Our troops deserve more.”

Uh-oh, here come those playground bullies from Politifact to pick on Ed with the facts:

McChrystal is a career military officer who rose steadily through the ranks from his first day as a second lieutenant in 1976. It’s true that McChrystal served in several senior Army positions during the years that Bush was president, including as commanding general of the Joint Special Operations Command from 2003 to 2006. In Afghanistan during 2001 and 2002, McChrystal was chief of staff of military operations. He also ran commando operations in Iraq, and he served in two positions with the joint staff in Washington.

But there’s a much stronger argument for linking his career to Obama than to Bush. On May 11, 2009 — less than four months after being sworn in — Obama ousted Gen. David D. McKiernan, the top American commander in Afghanistan, and installed McChrystal. It was widely seen as a deliberate shake-up designed to improve the execution of the long-running war. In announcing the move, Defense Secretary Robert Gates said that ”fresh eyes were needed” and that ”a new approach was probably in our best interest.”  

So while McChrystal served in senior positions under Bush, he was specifically tapped by Obama to run the war in Afghanistan. To the extent he’s a “problem,” it seems clear to us that he’s Obama’s problem, not Bush’s.

Damn facts!

Source: Politifact.com

Underwear that could save your life. Don’t leave home without it.

We’ve been in several situations where a lack of underwear could have cost us our lives, but now a scientist has invented underwear that could actually save your life.

life-saving-underwear-wang — A little marking advice: Avoid the temptation to call it WangWear.

We’ve been in several situations where a lack of underwear could have cost us our lives, but now a scientist has invented underwear that could actually save your life.

Discovery.com reports on this remarkable new underwear:

Soon U.S. military personnel may find that wearing underpants could save their lives. Not just any ol’ Hanes or Fruit of the Loom brand — although arguably wearing tighty whities in certain battlefield circumstances might be more prudent than not. However, what I’m talking about are briefs that have carbon-based electrodes screenprinted onto the fabric, which acts as a biosensor to measure blood pressure, heart rate and other vital signs.

The innovation comes from nano-engineer Joseph Wang of the University of California, San Diego. In an interview with Reuters Television Wang said:

“This specific project involves monitoring the injury of soldiers during battlefield surgery and the goal is to develop minimally invasive sensors that can locate, in the field, and identify the type of injury.”

And even beyond this, the waistband could contain medication, such as a pain-relief drug, that it could release in the presence of certain injuries.

Underwear invented by a guy named Wang. We are amused.

H/T: HotAir.com

Unlike Bill Clinton, Barack Obama seems unconcerned about his fly

Much like our enemies, a common housefly fly has learned that President Obama is all talk, no action.

obama-fly-on-lip

Much like our enemies, a common housefly fly has learned that President Obama is all talk, no action.

The New York Times reports the latest inside insect information:

During an event on Tuesday in the East Room of the White House to promote his new health care law, Mr. Obama was repeatedly pestered by the fly. He swatted away at it, to no avail.

“Get out of here,’’ the president instructed the fly, provoking laughter from the audience. He added, “You’ve seen me grab one of those before.’’

Indeed, it was only the latest fly-swatting incident at the White House. During an interview a year ago with our colleague John Harwood of The Times and CNBC, Mr. Obama ordered a fly to “get out of here” and ultimately killed the insect, drawing the ire of animal rights activists.

And that’s the latest buzz on President Obama.

(We are now accepting congratulations from our readers on the admirable and unexpected restraint we’ve shown by avoiding any use of the term “Like flies on shit.”)

Source: New York Times

“They all need to rot in hell for this.”

The Obama Administration has asked for a halt on dredging sand berms off the Chandeleur Islands that just started last week, until the project can be relocated farther into the gulf. Nungesser fired off a letter threatening President Obama to step in and do something or face a tongue lashing on national T.V.

obama nungesser jindal — Billy Nungesser and Bobby Jindal give President Obama their "rot in hell" glares

President Obama and his cronies are about as popular as the oil slick in Louisiana these days.

Fox8Live.com has the details:

Plaquemines parish president Billy Nungesser is furious, drawing a line in the sand with the White House!

The Obama Administration has asked for a halt on dredging sand berms off the Chandeleur Islands that just started last week, until the project can be relocated farther into the gulf. Nungesser fired off a letter threatening President Obama to step in and do something or face a tongue lashing on national T.V.

“Dammit, it took us long enough to get the permit now they are going to throw rocks at us. They all need to rot in hell for this.”

Nungesser has been the face of the sand berm project, now he’s red faced over the order for U.S. Wildlife and Fisheries.

“Some brilliant individual said we think a mile out is not enough. It may scowl the island or it may subside. So, let’s shut it down.”

Don’t be in such a hurry, Billy. Before these guys begin rotting in hell, let them spend a few more months in public opinion poll purgatory.

Sources: Fox8Live.com

Shang Kwon on Merry Christmas 2024: “Merry Christmas…and welcome back!” Dec 26, 05:49
CO2Insanity on See the Epstein trial records.: “Fixed.” Jul 4, 07:13
JPTravis on See the Epstein trial records.: “This is a test. My last comment never showed up.” Jul 4, 06:33
JPTravis on See the Epstein trial records.: “I read about this. What a despicable performance by the Florida prosecutors. It seems clear they were bought and paid…” Jul 3, 06:51
deepthinker on Biden in France for D-Day, just tried to sit on an invisible chair.: “Are you sure he was trying to sit or did he do the Biden and really sit?” Jun 16, 04:10