Rule #1: Do not drink vodka with your students. It cannot lead to anything good.

The Daily Caller has the story of the teachers’ advisor who is in desperate need of a teachers’ advisor advisor:


"We were just working on a little extra credit assignment, your honor."

A teacher who advises colleagues on how to avoid affairs with students was caught having sex with a teenager in the back of her car.

Courtney Bowles was found by a police officer naked lying on top of the boy, who was also completely naked, from her school in Colorado.

A partly consumed bottle of vodka was also found in the car with the couple.

Her student lover initially said he was 20 years old – but later admitted he was 16.

Bowles, 31, was employed at his school as a teacher’s instructional coach. It was her job to train teachers on how to maintain a professional distance from students.

Damn it. We were this close to our third hickey story of the week, but it just didn’t quite pan out.

Source: Daily Caller

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First Lady Michelle Antoinette is on the warpath against trans fats. She wants to spend billions of dollars building salad bars in more than 6,000 public schools. Of course, she’s doing it for the chiiiiiildren.

ab 97 exemptions

"Mmmmmm. I'd like a big plate of AB-97 exemptions for lunch."

The First Lady should be pleased to know that a new California bill, AB-97, that went into effect on January 1 bans trans fats throughout the state.

Whoa. Wait just a minute, Michelle. Upon closer examination it looks like AB97 bans those pesky trans fats everywhere except public school cafeterias.

The only other exemption is pre-packaged foods. You know, like Twinkies and Doritos and those tasty fruit pies and stuff sold in vending machines, which, if we’re not mistaken, account for a high percentage of the foods sold in public school cafeterias that aren’t served by old ladies wearing hairnets.

This could lead to a smackdown between the First Lady and Governor Moonbeam. And as California residents we can say with a high degree of certainty that we’re pretty sure the First Lady can kick the Governor’s ass.

Of course, we’re also pretty confident that the old ladies in the hairnets can also kick the Governor’s ass.

Here’s AB97 for your reading and dining pleasure. Chow down, kids! Trans fats for everyone!

AB97 school trans fat bill mendoza

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Ham, ham, ham, ham, ham, ham. Then throw in some pork. And top if off with some bacon. If you’re offended by that, go read the lunatics over at the Otherwise, keep reading.


First came the fatwa on Salman Rushdie, now comes the fatwa on Dr. Seuss has this report of political correctness run amok:

The parents of a Muslim boy who attends a secondary school in La Línea, Cádiz province, have reported their son’s teacher for an incident in the boy’s geography class which the child said caused him offence as a Muslim.

The teacher, with more than 20 years in the profession, was explaining to the class how the cold climate in Trevélez, Granada province, aided in the curing of the village’s most famous local product, jamón serrano. The boy told his teacher that hearing the word ‘ham’ in class was offensive to him because of his religion and asked his geography teacher to stop referring to the product which caused him offence.

El Mundo newspaper reports that the boy’s parents then reported the teacher to both the National Police and to the courts. It’s understood that an internal investigation is also underway by the education authority in Cádiz province.

Mmmmm, ham. It puts the fat in fatwa.

Source: Typically Spanish

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Ho, boy. Doesn’t this one just sum up everything this band of statists believe in.

President Obama signed the First Lady’s child nutrition bill into law on Monday morning and Michelle Obama took to the microphone to say a few words about childhood obesity and, of course, the state of the socialist state.

“When our kids spend so much of their time each day in school, and when many children get up to half their daily calories from school meals, it’s clear that we as a nation have a responsibility to meet as well. We can’t just leave it up to the parents. I think that parents have a right to expect that their efforts at home won’t be undone each day in the school cafeteria or in the vending machine in the hallway. I think that our parents have a right to expect that their kids will be served fresh, healthy food that meets high nutritional standards.”

They’re putting salad bars in the schools. They’re restricting vending machines on campus. And they’re controlling what can be sold at school bake sales.

Johnny can’t read, but he’s a svelte little son of a bitch, isn’t he.

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Chris Christie takes on teacher tenure

by editor on December 14, 2010

As New Jersey Governor Chris Christie asks, “Why should teachers be guaranteed lifetime employment after three years on the job?”

We have a slightly different question. Why do teachers get tenure at all? We mean other than the fact that their unions demanded it and no one was willing to stand up and say, “Are you insane?”

What’s the logic behind teachers and college professors getting tenure? Are there any other professions that get tenure?

We’re asking. Start telling.

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A new Dallas school named after President Obama proudly discriminates against girls. Even the name of the school sounds horribly discriminatory based on everything liberals believe in.


The Barack Obama Male Leadership Academy, home of the Michelle Obama Cafeteria & Salad Bar

You can learn the details from the Dallas Independent School District:

Dallas ISD’s newest magnet school-Barack Obama Male Leadership Academy at B.F. Darrell-will open to students in grades six through nine in August 2011. Two years in the planning, the school will offer a small, focused learning environment where young men are prepared for leadership roles in school, the community, and society.

“We’ve experienced the value of single gender education through the Irma Lerma Rangel Young Women’s Leadership School, which has consistently been one of Dallas ISD’s top performing schools since opening in 2004,” Superintendent of Schools Michael Hinojosa said. “We have the same expectations for the all-male leadership academy.”


The curriculum at Barack Obama Male Leadership Academy at B.F. Darrell will include pre-AP and AP classes, foreign languages, robotics, accelerated math and science, journalism, writing, and public speaking. The young men will be required to complete a technology-based project and a community service project each year.

The Barack Obama Male Leadership Academy? It’s not only discriminatory, it’s contradictory. Barack Obama has proven that he knows nothing about leadership and very little about being a man.

But the school is unique. The foreign language classes will teach students how to bow in seven different languages. Al Gore will guest lecture about robotics. The accelerated math classes will teach students how to count to infinity or the national debt – whichever comes first. The journalism classes will focus teach the students how to ask slanted questions. And the public speaking classes will feature the nation’s only public school Teleprompter.

Other than that, it’s just like any other public school.


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This gives a whole new meaning to grading on the curve.

The Daily Caller has the latest skinny…uhhh…let’s change that to the fat facts:


Little Johnny just got an F+.

Chubby elementary school children in Flagstaff, Ariz., have more than just bullies to worry about. If they’re too fat, their school will notify their parents.

Starting in the fall, students in the Flagstaff district will be weighed and measured at school. Students who are found to be overweight, marginally overweight, or underweight will have a letter sent home to their parents, which will include graphs showing a range of appropriate weights for a given age and height.

This is just such nonsense. When the Editor’s wife, who is now a goddess, was in school she was a fat girl (do me a really big favor and don’t tell her I said that.) And when the Editor himself was in school, he was so damn skinny that he looked like a pipe cleaner with ears and yet he is now a golden bronzed Adonis whose lean, muscular body makes strong women swoon.

Kids grow. Kids change. Unfortunately, liberal nanny staters do neither.

Source: Daily Caller

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Remember last week’s story about the California boy who was told by his school principal that he could no longer fly the American flag on his bicycle?

The school eventually backed down in the face of public outrage.

But the story continued Monday morning when young Cody Alicea rode his bike to school with an escort – hundreds of patriotic bikers, many of them veterans.

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Columbus? Never heard of him. Jesus? A nice, young Palestinian boy. The Enlightenment, this ain’t.

The Saudi-funded Muslim propaganda machine is now writing textbooks for American public schools. And there’s no telling what your kids might be learning. has the disturbing details:

Saudi-funded textbooks being used in America’s K-12 classrooms.
Teaching, among other things, that Jesus was a “Palestinian,” the state of Israel never existed, and that the Muslims discovered America before Columbus. Some native-American chiefs had Muslim names. At this rate, perhaps even Saudi grade-school textbooks, complete with jihadi and dhimmi declarations, will come to instruct American school-children.

For instance, did you know that Muslims discovered America? Or that Jerusalem is an Arab city? That’s just some of the “history” that students in America’s K-12 classrooms have been taught in recent years–with the help of taxpayer money.

A new report by the non-profit Institute for Jewish and Community Research finds that American high school and elementary textbooks contain countless inaccuracies about Christianity, Judaism, Israel and the Middle East.

The Institute examined 28 of the most widely-used history, geography and social studies textbooks in America. It found at least 500 errors.

One book ignored the Jewish roots of Christianity, saying the faith was founded by a “young Palestinian” named Jesus.

Another stated as fact that the Koran was revealed to Mohammed from God.

Yet another said ancient Jewish civilization contributed “very little” to to the arts and sciences.

For all we know, they also teach that there are 57 states.


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A statue of Al Gore standing in front of the new Carson-Gore Academy. Oh, wait, that's actually Al Gore.

Al Gore has been honored appropriately by the Los Angeles School District. They built a new school on top of a toxic dump and named it after the man who has come to symbolize environmental voodoo.

There are some classic comments in the L.A. Times report on the new school, the Carson-Gore Academy of Environmental Sciences, which is named after Rachel Carson and Gore, the world’s two leading purveyors of environmental nonsense:

“Renaming this terribly contaminated school after famous environmental advocates is an affront to the great work that these individuals have done to protect the public’s health from harm,” an environmental coalition wrote in a letter to the Los Angeles Unified School District. Making sure the school is safe “would be an even better way to honor their contribution to society.”

Construction crews were working at the campus up to the Labor Day weekend, replacing toxic soil with clean fill. All told, workers removed dirt from two 3,800-square-foot plots to a depth of 45 feet, space enough to hold a four-story building. The soil had contained more than a dozen underground storage tanks serving light industrial businesses.

Additional contamination may have come from the underground tanks of an adjacent gas station. A barrier will stretch 45 feet down from ground level to limit future possible fuel leakage.

An oil well operates across the street, but officials said they’ve found no associated risks. Like many local campuses, this school also sits above an oil field, but no oil field-related methane has been detected.

Groundwater about 45 feet below the surface remains contaminated but also poses no risk, officials said.

Because the district imported clean dirt, the school is probably safe at the moment, said Jane Williams, executive director of the Kern County-based California Communities Against Toxics. But she and other critics, including Robina Suwol, who heads the locally based California Safe Schools coalition, worry that the pollution sources have not been adequately identified and that the dirty groundwater could recontaminate the soil.

Got that? The school is “probably” safe “at the moment.” Just imagine how excited the kids will be on their first day of school. And just imagine how excited the parents will be if the kids survive.

Source: Los Angeles Times

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Think how proud you would be to have your child attend Barack Obama Elementary School. Why it’s almost enough to make you pack up and move the family to Upper Marlboro, Maryland.

It’s not the first school named after the president, but it’s the first one right there in the Washington, D.C. area.

If the school reflected real life, its uniforms would be half black, half white. They wouldn’t have a football team, but they would have a golf team. The team name would be the Fighting Muslims. The students wouldn’t have to learn anything, because all the answers would be on the Teleprompter. They wouldn’t need their ABCs, but they would need their MSNBCs. Math classes would only deal in negative numbers.

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Despite massive budget cuts and looming layoffs, the Milwaukee Teachers’ Education Association is fighting for its members benefits package.

According to Fox News, “With the district in a financial crisis and hundreds of its members facing layoffs, the Milwaukee teachers union is taking a peculiar stand: fighting to get their taxpayer-funded Viagra back. The union has asked a judge to order the school board to again include Pfizer Inc.’s erectile dysfunction drug and similar pills in its health insurance plans.”

The article adds that, “Board and union negotiators reached a deal in 2002 to cover six tablets per month for erectile dysfunction drugs in health plans that insure 10,000 employees, dependents and retirees. They quickly became popular.”

Apparently the term “extra credit homework” has taken on a whole new meaning in Milwaukee.

The article went on to say, “At least one lawmaker questioned why the union is fighting for Viagra while teachers are losing their jobs. A consultant for the school board has estimated that reinstating the drug benefit would cost $786,000 per year — the cost to keep perhaps a dozen first-year teachers employed.”

“State Rep. Jason Fields argues that the money could be better spent any number of ways — including saving jobs. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” said Fields, a Milwaukee Democrat. “The fact that is the point of contention is kind of frightening. What are our priorities? I’m all for love and peace. But almost 1 million dollars? And you go to court over this issue?”

Just a quick FYI here: When a Democrat begins questioning your spending priorities, you know your spending has gotten just a little bit out of control.

But who are we to criticize? It seems that the unions know that we are going to get screwed by Obamacare, screwed by taxes, and screwed seven ways to Sunday in the next 27 months.

But maybe, just maybe, they can se to it that these teachers get screwed in the only way any of us can really appreciate.

Sourc: Fox News

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Coulson Cato PS Cost Scores 2010

This chart compares student achievement to money “invested” in education. The blue line clearly shows what’s wrong with America’s school systems. spells out the details:

Student achievement at the end of high school has been flat for as long as we’ve been keeping track—all the way back to 1970. But we did get something in return for all that hiring: a great, big, fat, BILL.

If you graduated from high school in 1980, your entire k-12 education cost your fellow taxpayers about $75,000, in 2009 dollars. But the graduating class of 2009 had roughly twice that amount lavished on their public school careers. The extra $75,000 we’re now spending has done wonders for public school employee union membership, dues revenue, and political clout. It’s done a whole lotta nothin’ for student learning.

In the immortal words of Pink Floyd, “We don’t need no education.”

In the immortal words of, “We don’t need no teachers’ unions.”


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They’re baaaaaack. A new regiment of the Obama Youth are back with a new chant:

For I am an Obama scholar.

An Obama scholar.

And I will strive to be.

Outstanding. Brilliant.

I will achieve.
I will be motivated with a positive attitude.

Verse Two (not included in the video):

For I am a Chicago thug.
A Chicago thug.
And I will strive to be.
Corrupt. Conniving.
I will win election with an empty slogan.

H/T: Gateway Pundit

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Maybe it’s a good idea to give all our tax dollars to massage schools. Because at the rate we’re going, we’re all going to need a nice, relaxing massage.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution has the deep tissue details:

Massage and beauty schools, online universities and other for-profit colleges in Georgia and across the nation are cashing in on federal stimulus spending, collecting $2.2 billion in tuition grants for low-income students, public records show.

That represents nearly a quarter of the stimulus money spent on these grants to date.

In Georgia alone, millions of dollars are going to massage schools and beauty schools. Lord only knows how much is being spread around the rest of the country.

Because of how the government is tracking the stimulus spending, it’s impossible to break it down precisely by state. But the records show profit-making schools that have campuses or corporate headquarters in Georgia have received more than $550 million of these stimulus funds.

Among them are University of Phoenix, American InterContinental University, Royal Beauty Careers and Atlanta School of Massage. Beauty and massage schools with ties to Georgia have received $3.3 million through the stimulus program alone.

There may be stimulus involved, but this will not be a happy ending massage.

Source: Atlanta Journal-Constitution

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manchester teacher dress code

Miss Smithers, a high school English teacher, demonstrates a violation of the new Manchester, New Hampshire teacher dress code

The Manchester, New Hampshire school committee voted 11-1 Saturday to enact a strict new dress code for that bans 15 clothing items. Anyone who violates the dress could face disciplinary action.

School dress codes aren’t that unusual, you might say. So why have we bothered telling you about this one? Because the code is aimed at teachers, not students.

Here are the articles of clothing that have been banned:

  • Jeans
  • T-shirts that have writing, pictures or are considered underwear
  • Tank tops
  • Shorts
  • Sweats, wind suits and gym clothes
  • Spandex
  • Flip-flops
  • Sneakers
  • Tops that are low-cut, cropped, tube or have spaghetti straps
  • Sheer clothing
  • Short skirts that are more than 2 inches above the knee
  • Skirts with front slits more than 2 inches above the knee
  • Clothes with holes
  • Pajamas
  • Facial piercings

We can only assume that those dedicated teachers who wore pajamas to school were simply attempting to bring efficiency to the act of sleeping with their students.

Source: via Tim Blair

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Parents in Morgan Hill, California are pissed about the Cinco de Mayo flag flap. Plenty pissed. And they showed up at last night’s school board meeting to express their displeasure with the way things were handled.

KTVU reveals the rancorous details:

About 200 people packed the middle school auditorium where the meeting was held to accommodate the larger than normal number of people who attended to vent their feelings.

“Regardless where we came from when we come to this nation, we adopt its culture and what this nation stands for and the flag,” said Morgan Hill resident Lavonne Atnit. “I am personally getting very tired of disrespect to that flag and what this nation stands for.”

Morgan Hill’s Claudia Rossi offered some advice to the Latino student who walked out of school in protest the day following the incident.

“To those Latino kids that are here: you are not going to change the mind of one person that is being offensive to you,” said Rossi. “Educate yourself. That is the way to honor your flag wherever you come from.”

The boys who wore the patriotic colors — which some Latino students viewed as disrespectful — did not show up. However, some of their parents did.

“The students were not making a political statement. Their goal was to simply their pride in their country,” said parent Joy Jones. “As parents we are proud we have raised young men who stand up for what they believe in.”

We have two words on the whole incident: muy estúpido.


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Can a state be clinically insane? If so, California should be institutionalized, because they don’t come any crazier than this state.

A California art teacher banned her young student’s drawing of the American flag. She actually told the student it was “offensive.” 
Then the same teacher turned around and praised another student’s drawing of Barack Obama.

Her parents were pissed. We’re pissed. You’re probably pissed. And we hope anyone else reading this story gets pissed.

We’re thinking of moving our entire blog factory to Alabama or Tennessee or one of those other states that likes to spend big bucks to lure companies away from California.

A billion dollars should do the trick. We might even take a few bucks less.

And now we’ll just sit back now and wait for the offers to come rolling in, because we have to get out of this insane asylum.

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Ann Arbor black students science trip

One of Ann Arbor, Michigan's many seven year old racist, imperialist, homophobes

“Why,” we can imagine liberals asking themselves, “can’t we bring affirmative action to our nation’s elementary schools?” Well, rest easy, wackos, because your wish has come true.

Of course, it happened in the People’s Republic of Michigan.

And true to its name, the Ann Arbor News has the news:

An Ann Arbor elementary school principal used a letter home to parents tonight to defend a field trip for black students as part of his school’s efforts to close the achievement gap between white and black students.

Dicken Elementary School Principal Mike Madison wrote the letter to parents following several days of controversy at the school after a field trip last week in which black students got to hear a rocket scientist.

“In hindsight, this field trip could have been approached and arranged in a better way,” Madison wrote. “But as I reflect upon the look of excitement, enthusiasm and energy that I saw in these children’s eyes as they stood in the presence of a renowned African American rocket scientist in a very successful position, it gave the kids an opportunity to see this type of achievement is possible for even them.”

Coming soon: Illegal alien children are given extra points on their tests just to make things fair.

Source: Ann Arbor News

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Black is white. Up is down. In is out. Patriotism is un-American.

NBC Bay Area has the details of this insane story:

On any other day at Live Oak High School in Morgan Hill, Daniel Galli and his four friends would not even be noticed for wearing T-shirts with the American flag. But Cinco de Mayo is not any typical day especially on a campus with a large Mexican American student population.

Galli says he and his friends were sitting at a table during brunch break when the vice principal asked two of the boys to remove American flag bandannas that they wearing on their heads and for the others to turn their American flag T-shirts inside out. When they refused, the boys were ordered to go to the principal’s office.

“They said we could wear it on any other day,” Daniel Galli said, “but today is sensitive to Mexican-Americans because it’s supposed to be their holiday so we were not allowed to wear it today.”

The boys said the administrators called their T-shirts “incendiary” that would lead to fights on campus.

So that’s where we are in 2010. Displaying the American flag in the United States on a foreign holiday is now a bad thing.

Political correctness run amok.

H/T: CO2Insanity

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Good news! Union goons teachers are programming an entire generation of mind-numbed ObamaBots.

H/T: Bluegrass Pundit

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Sir Isaac Newton, English physicist, astronomer, mathematician and inventor of the bouffant hairdo

So much for the fantasy that American kids are the world’s most ignorant. According to a new survey, British kids are no geniuses, either.

The BBC reports the dumb details:

One in 10 children thinks the Queen invented the telephone, a survey of children’s science knowledge suggests.

Others gave credit for the invention to Charles Darwin and Noel Edmonds.

One in 20 of the 1,000 pupils polled thought Star Wars character Luke Skywalker or Richard Branson had been the first to set foot on the Moon.

Some 60% of nine- and 10-year-olds thought Sir Isaac Newton discovered fire, the survey for science campaign Birmingham Science City found.

Despite these misconceptions, more children want to win a Nobel prize for science than the X Factor.

The survey of primary and secondary school children in the UK suggests there is some confusion about key scientific achievements.

Just under a half of boys (49%) correctly pinned down gravity as Newton’s ground-breaking discovery, compared with 76% of girls.

Just over a third of boys said Newton discovered fire, while the remaining 16% either said he invented the internet, or discovered the solar system or America.

Stupid Brit kids thought Sir Isaac Newton invented the internet? C’mon, wake up, you little morons. Everyone knows Al Gore invented the internet.

Source: BBC

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Times are tough when you get mocked by those who once worshipped you. Even Jon Stewart’s eyes appear to be wide open these days.

Embarrassing? Pathetic? Sad? Choose your own word to describe this story.

President Obama recently visited sixth grade students at Graham Road Elementary School in Falls Church, Virginia to talk about his “Race to the Top” program.

The Greatest Orator In History couldn’t talk to them without his trusty Teleprompter at his side.

The White House has since released raw video that supposedly proves the President didn’t use his Teleprompter. Unfortunately, the raw video ends just as the President finished shaking hands with all the students and before he made any remarks, so it neither proves nor disproves anything.

UPDATE: The video embedded in this story proves now pretty conclusively that the ol’ Teleprompter was used. No question that President Obama is going back and forth from one Teleprompter screen to the other as he speaks to the tykes.

Two words: Empty suit.

Source: Bluegrass Pundit

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“What the hell is wrong with those paranoid conservatives? Why would they object to the president of the United States speaking to school children? His speech was inspirational.”

Blah-blah-blah. Shut up, libs.

This video shows school children being led in a song about The One. We’re not sure which bothers us more — the introductory group chanting of the name “Barack Hussein Obama” or the fact that it’s sung to the tune of “Battle Hymn of the Republic” with some lyrics from “Jesus Loves the Little Children” thrown in for good measure.

Any other questions about why conservatives didn’t want Obama speaking to their children?

Update: Song Lyrics

Song 1:
Mm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

He said that all must lend a hand
To make this country strong again
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

He said we must be fair today
Equal work means equal pay
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

He said that we must take a stand
To make sure everyone gets a chance
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

He said red, yellow, black or white
All are equal in his sight
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

Mmm, mmm, mm
Barack Hussein Obama

Song 2:
Hello, Mr. President we honor you today!
For all your great accomplishments, we all doth say “hooray!”

Hooray, Mr. President! You’re number one!
The first black American to lead this great nation!

Hooray, Mr. President we honor your great plans
To make this country’s economy number one again!

Hooray Mr. President, we’re really proud of you!
And we stand for all Americans under the great Red, White, and Blue!

So continue —- Mr. President we know you’ll do the trick
So here’s a hearty hip-hooray —-

Hip, hip hooray!
Hip, hip hooray!
Hip, hip hooray!

Update: Youtube removed the video, but we found another version and inserted it. Hopefully it stays.

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