Back to the Future Present: China bans time travel on television

This may be the oddest story of the day. China’s version of the FCC, the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television, has banned time travel.

This may be the oddest story of the day. China’s version of the FCC, the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television, has banned time travel. Mustn’t give anyone the idea that they can change the future, you know.

CNN.com reports:

New guidelines issued on March 31 discourage plot lines that contain elements of “fantasy, time-travel, random compilations of mythical stories, bizarre plots, absurd techniques, even propagating feudal superstitions, fatalism and reincarnation, ambiguous moral lessons, and a lack of positive thinking.”

“The government says … TV dramas shouldn’t have characters that travel back in time and rewrite history. They say this goes against Chinese heritage,” reports CNN’s Eunice Yoon. “They also say that myth, superstitions and reincarnation are all questionable.”

The Chinese censors seem to be especially sensitive these days. But for the television and film industry, such strictures would seem to eliminate any Chinese version of “Star Trek,” “The X-Files,” “Quantum Leap” or “Dr. Who.” And does that mean rebroadcast of huge Hollywood moneymakers like “Back to the Future” and the “Terminator” series are now forbidden?

The Obama administration isn’t worried about time travel. No, they’re looking at the polls and simply wishing they could rewrite the present.

If you could travel back in time, where and when would be your destination? And why?

http://youtu.be/JNY64nYD_fQ

Source: CNN.com

CONGRESS BANS SHOUTING ON THE INTERNET!!!!!

The geniuses in Washington, DC took a long, hard look at the critical issues facing the nation and decided that what we really need right now is a new law regulating the audio volume of TV commercials.

We lied. Congress did nothing about all-cap shouting on the internet, but don’t be surprised if that comes next.

loud-tv-commercials
CONGRESS TO THE RESCUE!!!!! AMERICA IS SAVED!!!!!

Instead, the geniuses in Washington, DC took a long, hard look at the critical issues facing the nation and decided that what we really need right now is a new law regulating the audio volume of TV commercials.

BREITBART.COM HAS THE DETAILS!!!!!

The House on Thursday gave final congressional approval to a bill that would prevent advertisers from abruptly raising the volume to catch the attention of viewers wandering off when regular programming is interrupted.

The bill’s House sponsor, Rep. Anna Eshoo, D-Calif., said it was her own “earsplitting experiences” that got her involved, recalling how the ads “blew us out of the house” when she watched television, already set at a high volume, with her parents.

But she said her office also has gotten many messages of support and that at home people come up to her in restaurants and supermarkets to ask how the bill is doing.

“TV programs use a variety of sound levels to build dramatic effect. But advertisements have been neither subtle nor nuanced,” Eshoo said after the House passed the bill on a voice vote. When the law goes into effect, she said, “consumers will no longer have to experience being blasted at.”

Yeah, loud TV commercials are annoying. But, c’mon, how about passing a damn budget, guys. Didn’t the people speak loudly enough in November?

Source: Breitbart.com

Sarah Palin’s Alaska inspires other politicians to pitch their own reality TV shows

Following the successful debut of “Sarah Palin’s Alaska,” agents representing other politicians are rushing to Hollywood to pitch reality shows for their clients.

Few original ideas have ever been generated in Hollywood and even fewer have ever come from Washington, DC. The two towns were made for each other.

So following the successful debut of “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” (TLC reported a record 5,000,000 viewers for the premiere episode), agents representing other politicians are rushing to Hollywood to pitch reality shows for their clients.

So here are some other reality programs we’re looking forward to in the near future:

“Harry Reid’s Nevada”

Harry Reid Join the soon to be former Senate majority leader as he goes prospecting for gold on K Street. Visit his boyhood home in Searchlight, Nevada and learn how he became wealthy working in the private sector for a mere two years. Watch him give charisma lessons to other Democrats. Don’t miss a moment when Harry Reid’s Nevada premieres Sunday, Nov. 14 at 9/8C only on MSNBC.

“John Kerry’s Massachusetts”

John Kerry Deep in the wilds of a Massachusetts gated community, John Kerry faces the toughest decision of his life: where to dock his new yacht. The gang from Jersey Shore make a cameo to explain to Senator Kerry how lowering taxes can promote economic growth and result in more government revenues. Later, Kerry fights for wind power in someone else’s backyard. It’s “John Kerry’s Massachusetts” premiering Monday, November 22 at 9/8C on CNN.

“Barbara Boxer’s California”

Barbara Boxer Wham-Bam-Don’t-Call-Me-Ma’am. Barbara Boxer gets in a tiff with a barista at Starbucks who refuses to call her grande skinny latte a “Senator Grande Skinny Latte.” Join Barbara as she explores the California Aqueduct through the dried-up breadbasket of California’s Central Valley and all the way back to the spawning grounds of the endangered delta smelt, stopping, of course, at 5-star resorts along the way. “Barbara Boxer’s California” debuts Tuesday, November 23 at 9/8 Central on MSNBC.

“Elliot Spitzer’s New York”

eliot spitzer Experience New York like you never have before as Elliot takes you on a wild romp through the Empire State. Accompany him as he rides bareback through the canyons of the Adirondacks. Catch crabs with the former governor as he plunges his rod into the pristine waters of the Hudson. Bone up on you local history as he navigates the annals of the world’s oldest profession. “Elliot Spitzer’s New York.” Premiering next Friday at 9/8 Central only on IHTM-TV.

“Lisa Murkowski’s Alaska”

lisa murkowski Lisa Murkowski debates changing her last name to Smith to ease future write-in campaigns. A trip to the hairdresser ends in disaster when the resulting new doo looks “too modern, like something out of the nineties.” She decides to keep her 70s-inspired locks for additional coverage on the Drudge Report. “Lisa Murkowski’s Alaska.” Don’t miss this special premiere Monday, November 30 at 8/8 Central on Animal Planet.

“Dennis Kucinich’s Ohio”

Dennis Kucinich In this episode Dennis Kucinich plays Risk with two old high school chums, but opts out when the game becomes, “increasingly militaristic.” After accusing his old friends of imperialism, Kucinich breaks from the game to immediately build a peaceful agrarian community on his board. Noam Chomsky makes a guest appearance. “Dennis Kucinich’s Ohio” premieres Monday, November 29 at 9/8 Central only on Pravda TV.

“Barack Obama’s Kenya”

barack-obama-tv Travel back with the President as he returns to his homeland. Be with him as he makes the adjustment from the imperial opulence of the White House to the spartan furnishings of his brother’s one-room shack in Nairobi. Travel the land as he seeks out anyone who remembers his birth and pays them to forget it. Watch the dramatic premiere of “Barack Obama’s Kenya” this Sunday, Nov 28 at 9/8 Central only on IHTM-TV.

“Chuck Schumer’s New York”

Chuck Schumer This is the reality show in which the star is never off camera. He stars in all the commercials, voice overs and station breaks. Experience the seesaw excitement as Chuck demeans Wall Street bankers one minute, then strong arms them for campaign contributions the next. Don’t miss “Chuck Schumer’s New York,” premiering November 24 at 8:00 p.m. on PBS.

“Maxine Waters’ South Central”

Maxine Waters Yo, what you looking at, honky? Turn your damn TV off. This show is for black people only because you white people have had your own TV shows for too damn long. Co-stars Demond Wilson from “Sanford & Son” and “Rodney King from Can’t We All Just Get Along?” “Maxine Waters’ South Central” debuts November 24 at 8/9 Central on BET.

“Al Franken’s Minnesota”

Al Franken Al Franken, Minnesota’s favorite son, shows you the highways and byways and underhanded ways of the Land of Ten Thousand Missing Votes. Visit comedy clubs across the state in search of someone who finds him funny. Discover that the Al Franken persona is an act, but the Stuart Smalley persona is real. Don’t miss the series premiere of “Al Franken’s Minnesota,” November 24 at 8/9 Central following the season premiere of Prairie Home Companion on PBS.

Progressives’ Top 15 Favorite TV Shows

It seems only fair that we follow up our most popular TV shows article today with a list of Progressives’ most popular programs.

The other day we ran a list of most popular TV shows among Republicans and Democrats. The differences in viewing habits were remarkable. So it seems only fair that we follow up today with a list of Progressives’ most popular programs:

progressive-tv-favorite-programs
The Progressives' TV Guide is slightly different than everyone else's.
  1. The Amazing Race Baiters
  2. American Idle
  3. Survivor: California
  4. Dancing with the Czars
  5. How I Met Your Lesbian, Transsexual Mother
  6. Anti-Catholic Brothers & Sisters
  7. Ugly Hillary
  8. S#*! My President Says
  9. America’s Least Wanted
  10. The Young & The Jobless
  11. America’s Next Top Commie
  12. Abortionhood
  13. Extreme Makeover: American Economy Edition
  14. Two and a Half Union Thugs
  15. Desperate House Members

Everything we know about Democrats we learned on TV

Turns out Republicans like Modern Family, a show that includes a loving gay male couple, while Democrats prefer Mad Men, a show about smoking, drinking, womanizing guys from the 50s.

test-pattern
Democrats might be expected to hate this test pattern because it shows an Indian - oh, we beg your pardon - a Native American.

Republicans are vile Neanderthals who live back in the dark ages (more commonly known as the 1950s). And Democrats are modern, enlightened beings who warmly embrace diversity as epitomized by today’s gay community.

At least that’s what Democrats would have you believe.

But this list of favorite TV shows as ranked by members of the two parties puts the lie to that theory.

Turns out Republicans like Modern Family, a show that includes a loving gay male couple, while Democrats prefer Mad Men, a show about smoking, drinking, womanizing guys from the 50s.

Hmmmmm.

popular-tv-shows

UPDATE: Also see, Progressives’ Top 15 Favorite Television Shows

Source: HollywoodReporter.com

Newsweek: TV show with black stars cancelled because America’s not ready for super-negros

Newsweek introduces the concept of “super-negros” to explain why a really horrible TV show was canceled. Imagine the uproar if Fox had said the same thing. Race mongering writer Allison Samuels explains it all in Newsweek.

Newsweek introduces the concept of “super-negros” to explain why a really horrible TV show was canceled. Imagine the uproar if Fox had said the same thing.

Race mongering writer Allison Samuels explains it all in Newsweek:

I think it’s possible that a slightly more obvious, disturbing reason could be behind Undercovers’ failure, and it’s pretty familiar: race. Prime-time audiences just weren’t ready for “super-negros” on the small screen. And that’s exactly what Undercovers was: a show about black people doing very “unblack” things. Before anyone gets upset, let me explain. “Super-negro” was a term my family often used while watching old Sidney Poitier movies back in the day. In Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (our favorite), Poitier portrays a black doctor in love with a white, wealthy young socialite during the ’60s. Pretty early in the film, you begin to realize that Poitier’s character is not just any black doctor (an accomplishment in itself for most people then, and now); he’s a black doctor with degrees from several Ivy League universities, an internationally known scholar behind cures of dozens of diseases in Africa and elsewhere. Overkill. But Poitier portraying a “regular negro” was simply not good enough during those times, so the “super-negro” was born. The same could be said of his character from In the Heat of the Night, a Philadelphia cop with highly decorated awards.

So if we understand Samuels’ logic, audiences 40 years ago accepted the super negro, but today’s audience won’t. Race relations, apparently, have gone backward in the last four decades.

According to HarperCollins.com, “Allison Samuels is an award-winning Newsweek correspondent who has covered sports and entertainment since 1996. Samuels is a member of the National Association of Black Journalists, the Big Sisters of America, and the UCLA Black Studies Department board of directors. She lives in Los Angeles.”

Here’s another concept, Allison, you race mongering moron: Undercovers sucked. Absolutely sucked. It would have sucked if it had starred white actors. It would have sucked if it had starred Martian actors.

Well, no, actually, now that we think about it, Martian actors would have been pretty cool. Undercovers may have lasted a few more weeks if it had starred Martians as long as they weren’t super Martians. The American people just aren’t ready to accept super Martians.

Source: Newsweek.com

Iowa woman selling her televisions to avoid Obama

Deloris Nissen, a retired nurses’ aide, is selling her two TVs in an attempt to avoid Barack Obama. Nissen said she is disgusted with the president’s constant presence on TV.

One need not sell one

Deloris Nissen, a retired nurses’ aide, is selling her two TVs in an attempt to avoid Barack Obama. She offered the televisions in a $5.50 classified ad that ran in Iowa’s Daily Times Herald.

Nissen said she is disgusted with the president’s constant presence on TV.

“It’s Obama on every channel and station. I just got tired of watching him on every channel,” she complained. “I thought, my gosh, does he ever stay at the White House?”



Nissen said she quickly turns the channel when Obama pops up on any program she happens to be watching.

“I have the remote real handy,” Nissen admitted. “I have the batteries. I’m ready for him.”

We wish you well, Deloris, but it won’t be that easy. Time Magazine just announced on Thursday that Obama will be on its cover for the 12th time in the last year.

Kim Jong-Il is less omnipresent in North Korea.

Source: Daily Times Herald

Crisis, schmisis: President Obama takes time out to appear on another TV show

There are plenty of TV roles awaiting the President and he's likely to accept each and every one of them.
There are plenty of TV roles awaiting the President and he's likely to accept each and every one of them.

Barack Obama is on TV more than Jay Leno. And he’s funnier than…well…he’s really not all that funny.

Here’s how Wilshire & Washington describes it:

“The highlight of Stephen Colbert’s first night of shows from Iraq was the surprise taped appearance of President Obama, who ordered Commanding General Ray Odierno to cut the faux news host’s hair.”

“Last week, Obama appeared in a taped segment on “The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien,” in which the president deadpanned that the newly installed host would not qualify for a bailout if he failed.”

How can all these TV appearances be explained?

Could it be mere coincidence that the brother of Obama’s Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel is Ari Emanuel, the most powerful agent in Hollywood? He was the inspiration for the profane Ari Gold character on HBO’s Entourage. This guy’s Rolodex is immense and he has the power to place any client on any TV show or film merely by making a phone call.

Coming up next season: On NBC, President Obama plays Urkel’s long lost brother on a remake of Family Matters. On ABC, President Obama takes on the role made famous by Mr. T on a remake of the A-Team. It will be called “The USA-Team.” On CBS, President Obama will take over the foundering Evening News from no-longer perky Katie Couric. And on Fox, President Obama will become the fifth judge on American Idol. The format will change so that his vote is the only one that counts.

Source: WilshireAndWashington.com

Obama creates his own TV network, peeves other TV networks


“Tonight on Obama TV. Women’s basketball like you’ve never seen it before.”

If you thought our Supreme Leader was content owning his own car company, think again. Now he has his own TV network.

ABC’s Jake Tapper reports that after President Obama greeted the UConn Lady Huskies, winners of the NCAA women’s basketball championship, at the White House on April 27, he took the team to the White House basketball court to show off his “mad skills.”

This is where the story went south for the White House Press Corps. Obama didn’t allow the press to view the happenings and they protested their baffling exclusion.

Turns out the White House produced its own professionally-produced TV report on the team’s visit.

“It’s perfectly fine, of course, for the White House to put out its own version of events — but is it right to do so by preventing actual reporters from covering something? (Even something like a pickup basketball game),” Tapper asked on his ABC News blog.

”Do Obama White House officials think their media coverage isn’t flattering enough?” he continued.

“Is the goal to ultimately replace the pesky photographers who film what they want to and not what they’re told to (not to mention the annoying reporters who ask uncomfortable questions about, say, detainee policy and bank bailouts)?”

“Do you want your OTV? (I’ll bet there are a few takers out there.)”

One thing we know for sure: the Fairness Doctrine won’t apply to the Obama Television Network.

Source: ABC News

I HATE THE MEDIA ™
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