And the Democrat truth shall set you free. Or, in this case, inspired by “Hugo Chavez,” it will lock you up in a reeducation camp, take away your property, cause inflation, and empty grocery store shelves.
Democrat Rep. Hakeem Jeffries says Democrats' federal elections takeover bill is "inspired by Hugo Chavez…Cesar Chavez." pic.twitter.com/vwLtYOMBYv
— RNC Research (@RNCResearch) January 19, 2022
We apologize for misreading the news but, c’mon, it was an easy mistake to make. We saw the words “cancer” and “Hugo Chavez” and immediately thought of the man’s history, not his health.
We apologize for misreading the news but, c’mon, it was an easy mistake to make. We saw the words “cancer” and “Hugo Chavez” and immediately thought of the man’s history, not his health.
The Miami Herald has the tale of the terrific tumor:
Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez acknowledged Thursday night that a cancerous tumor caused his three-week hospital stay in Cuba — his first public admission that the illness that has kept him away so long is serious.
He revealed the diagnosis in a 15-minute evening speech, his first since falling ill 21 days ago. He stood thinner and stone-faced at a lectern, dressed in a long-sleeve black shirt with a red T-shirt underneath. From the start of his address, it was obvious that the normally jovial leader was about to reveal something bleak.
…A check-up revealed a pelvic abscess, which was drained and treated with antibiotics on June 11. Despite the favorable results, Chávez said, doctors noticed something worse: an abscessed tumor with cancerous cells. It was completely removed in a second surgery, he said, and he is now undergoing “complementary treatments to address diverse cells which were found.”
He did not clarify, but seemed to be alluding to chemotherapy. He did not disclose the type of cancer nor when the second surgery was performed.
If only it were as easy for the Venezuelan people to remove the cancer with which they’ve been afflicted for the last 15 years.
Source: Miami Herald
Considering the fact that Venezuela sits on an ocean of oil, one would think they could generate enough electricity to keep the lights on. But no.
Considering the fact that Venezuela sits on an ocean of oil, one would think they could generate enough electricity to keep the lights on. But no, the South American nation is suffering an energy shortage for the second straight year. Hugo Chavez was unavailable for comment.
Bloomberg has the story:
Venezuela will ration power again this year, planning steps similar to those taken in 2010 amid an energy crisis, Electricity Minister Ali Rodriguez said.
“We’re going to reapply the measures we applied in Caracas last year nationwide, which punishes the wasting of electricity and encourages energy savings,” Rodriguez said in an interview on state television today. Any rationing measures require President Hugo Chavez’s approval, Rodriguez said.
Venezuela has struggled to boost energy-generating capacity to keep pace with an estimated 6 percent increase in demand this year. The consumption jump, if it persists, would require an additional 2,000 megawatts of new capacity a year, which is “unsustainable,” Rodriguez said.
All hail the glories of socialism! The lights are off, but nobody’s home.
Source: Bloomberg.com
We don’t know if capitalism destroyed life on Mars, but Chavez presents pretty good evidence that communism has destroyed all intelligent life in Caracas.
Hugo Chavez obviously thinks that Muammar Gadhafi’s days are numbered, because he’s now doing whatever it takes to officially replace the Libyan lunatic as world’s craziest leader.
Reuters has the demented details:
“I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet,” Chavez said in speech to mark World Water Day.
Chavez, who also holds capitalism responsible for many of the world’s problems, warned that water supplies on Earth were drying up.
“Careful! Here on planet Earth where hundreds of years ago or less there were great forests, now there are deserts. Where there were rivers, there are deserts,” Chavez said, sipping from a glass of water.
He added that the West’s attacks on Libya were about water and oil reserves.
We don’t know if capitalism destroyed life on Mars, but Chavez presents pretty good evidence that communism has destroyed all intelligent life in Caracas.
Source: Reuters
That damn Hugo Chavez is no fun. It’s bad enough that he’s come out against golf and whiskey, but now he’s pitting the forces of socialism against breast lifts and implants.
That damn Hugo Chavez is no fun. No fun at all. It’s bad enough that he’s come out against golf and whiskey, but now the Venezuelan strongman has gone too far. Now he’s pitting the forces of socialism against breast lifts and implants.
The New York Times has the details:
Blame for the boom in such surgeries here, Mr. Chávez said on state television over the weekend, rested with doctors who “convince some women that if they don’t have some big bosoms, they should feel bad.” He said it was a “monstrous thing” that poor women were seeking breast lifts when they had trouble making ends meet.
We’re certain that when Chavez said boob jobs were a monstrous thing he was referring to the size of the situation, not the size of the implants.
Mr. Chávez’s comments come at a time when Venezuela has emerged as one of the world’s leading markets for breast augmentation. Between 30,000 and 40,000 women here undergo the procedure each year, according to estimates by the Venezuelan Society of Plastic Surgeons.
… “I’ve never seen more silicone anywhere else,” Mireia Sallarès, a filmmaker from Spain who focuses on feminist issues and is working on a project about Venezuela, told the newspaper Tal Cual.
Then the Times concludes the story by reporting the following sentence without the slightest sense of irony.
State media outlets agreed with the president on the subject.
Really? The state media agreed with Venezuela’s President For Life? Well, then, that just about settles it, doesn’t it. Case closed. No story here. Move along.
Source: New York Times
During his most recent blanket television broadcast, Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez took the opportunity to embrace President Obama, inviting him to join him in the construction of a new world order.
Admittedly, we don’t speak Spanish, so this may not be a literal translation, but we’re pretty sure that’s the gist of this story.
Fox News has the details:
During his most recent blanket television broadcast, Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez took the opportunity to embrace President Obama, inviting him to join him in the construction of a new world order.
Chávez was responding to President Obama’s recent quip about diverting Air Force One in order to pay Caracas a visit. Leaving a NATO summit in Portugal, the president joked, according to a tweet by CBS reporter Mark Knoller, about having “AF-1 fly home via South America so he could visit Hugo Chavez.”
“Well, Obama, if you said that,” Chávez remarked, “we’ll receive you here. I’d shake your hand again.”
… Chávez went on, jovially stating that, were Obama to pay him a visit, both leaders would “sit down to talk, to eat socialist arepas.”
Socialist arepas. Obviously a Spanish euphemism meaning, “the beating hearts of anyone who believes in capitalism.”
What’s that? Arepas are type of corn-based pancakes popular in Venezuela? Yeah, well, maybe so. But we’re pretty sure our translation is closer to what Chavez really meant.
Source: Fox News
We’ve searched through thousands of photos of Obama shaking hands with world leaders and can only find two in which he does the bro’ shake — South American socialists.
On the way back from the President’s latest European excursion, CNN White House reporter Ed Henry tweeted that Obama “joked” that he might divert Air Force One to South America so he could visit his buddy Hugo Chavez.
And that brings up something we’ve been wondering about since we saw President Obama greet the outgoing President of Brazil at last week’s G-20 meetings:
Why does President Obama reserve his special soul brother handshakes only for South American socialists?
We’ve searched through thousands of photos of Obama shaking hands with world leaders and can only find two in which he does the bro’ shake.
The first was with Venezuela strongman Hugo Chavez at Obama’s first U.N. conference back in 2009.
The second was with Brazil’s outgoing communist President Luis Inacio Lula de Silva at the previously-mentioned G-20 meeting in Seoul.
Scores of other world leaders, apparently not hip enough to exchange bro’ shakes with Obama or, perhaps, just not politically-attuned enough, just received the regular, boring kind of handshakes heads of state normally exchange.
We can’t find any photos of President Obama shaking hands with Raul Castro, Evo Morales or Daniel Ortega, but if and when he does we assume they’ll receive the same show of unity and brotherhood that their South American socialist brothers received.
Got bad credit? Looking a low cost credit card? No problem. Just move to Venezuela and get one from Hugo Chavez.
Got bad credit? Looking a low cost credit card? No problem. Just move to Venezuela and get one from Hugo Chavez.
The Associated Press details Hugo’s credit card offer:
Going into Sunday’s legislative elections, President Hugo Chavez pitched his candidates like a salesman, promising Venezuelans he will give them low-interest credit cards and discounted appliances from washing machines to TV sets.
Chavez turned to his long successful populist appeals seeking to woo voters more concerned with their pocketbooks than with his socialist politics. He is trying to hold off a determined challenge by the opposition, which is intent on breaking Chavez’s stranglehold on the National Assembly for the first time in his presidency.
“I want us to win the elections by knockout!” Chavez told cheering supporters during one of his final campaign rallies, standing amid allied candidates dressed in his party’s signature red.
… Apparently seeking to turn up the heat in the campaign, Chavez has launched a program to provide Venezuelans with special, low-interest credit cards that can be used to shop at state-run stores and for travel, calling it the “Good Life Card.”
The only problem with this technique of getting rid of your credit card debt is that you end up owing money to Hugo Chavez.
And we guarantee that even the pushiest American debt collector is a pussycat compared to Hugo.
Source: Associated Press
Despite a PR and marketing blitz that had Oliver Stone on a whirlwind tour of Latin America, his latest documentary “South of the Border” has sunk like a rock at the Venezuelan box office.
Just when you thought Hugo Chavez had driven the people of Venezuela and the United States apart forever, something happens to bring them back together. In this case, it’s the two people’s intense dislike of Oliver Stone movies.
Variety reports the sad news of Stone’s biggest bomb ever:
Despite a PR and marketing blitz that had Oliver Stone on a whirlwind tour of Latin America, his latest documentary “South of the Border” has sunk like a rock at the Venezuelan box office.
Local observers in Venezuela have reported empty cinemas, indicating a stunning indifference to Stone’s pic, a documentary about South American leaders that devotes a hefty amount of screen time to the country’s President Hugo Chavez. In the 12 days after its June 4 debut, it grossed only $18,601 on 20 screens, according to Global Rentrak. Showings on mobile screens in rural areas (where Chavez has more popular support) have attracted crowds, but these screenings are free.
$18,601? That won’t even cover the corpulent Stone’s room service bill at the Caracas Hilton.
Source: Variety.com
In Venezuela, they play a game called Here’s Hugo! that’s the opposite of Where’s Waldo? In Where’s Waldo? it’s very difficult to find the title character, but in Here’s Hugo! it’s damn near impossible to get away from the title character.
In Venezuela, they play a game called Here’s Hugo! that’s the opposite of Where’s Waldo? In Where’s Waldo? it’s very difficult to find the title character, but in Here’s Hugo! it’s damn near impossible to get away from the title character.
In this clip, Chavez is seen ranting about the evil United States. Nothing unusual about that. But please notice the channel indicator in the upper right hand corner. It shows that Chavez is on every channel. No matter what channel Venezuelans turn to, here’s Hugo.
Even Obama hasn’t managed to pull that one off. Yet.
Oh, he tried. Remember when he pressured all the networks to carry his primetime press conferences? But Fox finally said balked and aired its regular programming. And there was nothing Obama could do about it.
Our young President apparently has a lot to learn from his muy bueno amigo.
F/T: Weasel Zippers
Hugo Chavez proved just how out of touch he is this week by calling Hillary Clinton “a blonde Condoleezza.” Wrong historical reference, Hugo. Think Evita instead.
Hugo Chavez proved just how out of touch he is this week by calling Hillary Clinton “a blonde Condoleezza.” Wrong historical reference, Hugo. Think Evita instead.
Reuters has the misogynistic details:
Venezuela’s President Hugo mocked U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on Friday as a “blond” version of her predecessor, and said a row with Spain over alleged links with rebel groups was over.
Visiting Latin America this week, Clinton said the Obama administration’s policies towards the region were helping blunt the criticism of the United States by leftist leaders like Chavez.
“To me, she’s like Condoleezza Rice … a blond Condoleezza,” said the Venezuelan, referring to former U.S. president George W. Bush’s secretary of state, with whom he exchanged frequent harsh words at long-distance.
Citing comments by Clinton in Brazil, Chavez said she was proving to be equally aggressive. “She comes to Brazil to provoke us, to try and divide us from our brothers.”
Just remember one thing, Hugo. The blonde is from a bottle. If you really wanted to be accurate you would have said Hillary is “a gray Condoleezza.”
Source: Reuters
Venezuelan strongman Hugo Chavez asked film producers to produce “socialist soap operas” because there’s just too darn much capitalism on television.
As his economy crumbles, Venezuelan strongman Hugo Chavez knows just what it needs.
He’s asked film producers to produce “socialist soap operas” because there’s just too darn much capitalism on television. He even offered to pony up some of those newly devalued Venezuelan bolivars to help spread the socialist message.
NewsMax.org has the details:
“A while ago, I was in Cuba and they broadcast soap operas there, not capitalist soap operas but with a social content, socialist” soap operas, Chavez told a group of filmmakers and scriptwriters guested on his weekly radio and television show, “Alo Presidente.”
“I’m going to ask that we make socialist soap operas (in Venezuela), instead of capitalist ones.”
The firebrand leftist leader offered government help to producers following his advice.
“We can also make good movies,” he added. “Not capitalist movies that are poison and incite our children to take drugs and even push them into crime.”
A little unsolicited advice, Hugo. Forget the expense of original productions. Just import Law & Order and save yourself some bolivars.
Source: NewsMax
Hugo Chavez: “Let’s not kid ourselves: the Obama illusion has finished, and the shameless interventionism of the American administration shows that.”
As if to prove the old saying that “Even a blind sow occasionally finds an acorn”, Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez has stumbled upon a truth that the American people having been discovering over the last eleven months.
Reuters reports this comment from Chavez’ year end message to the Venezuelan people:
“Let’s not kid ourselves: the Obama illusion has finished, and the shameless interventionism of the American administration shows that.”
In related news, Rasmussen reports that American voters no longer buy the illusion, either:
The Rasmussen Reports daily Presidential Tracking Poll for Tuesday shows that 26% of the nation’s voters Strongly Approve of the way that Barack Obama is performing his role as President. Forty-one percent (41%) Strongly Disapprove giving Obama a Presidential Approval Index rating of -15.
Luckily, the people of the United States have much greater ability to oust unpopular leaders than the people of Venezuela.
Love may be grand, but washed-up, drugged-up rocker Courtney Love is so far from grand that she can’t even see it off in the distance.
Love may be grand, but washed-up, drugged-up rocker Courtney Love is so far from grand that she can’t even see it off in the distance.
Here’s how the New York Daily News reports this bizarre story:
Courtney Love is still floating on the charm offensive that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez launched at Wednesday’s screening of Oliver Stone’s new documentary, “South of the Border.” The singer, who came dressed to thrill in a short zipper-front skirt, says she noticed the twice-divorced Chavez checking her out during a Q&A afterward.
“It was the third wink that sold me,” Mrs. Kurt Cobain told us. “He’s a sexy dawg. He invited me to visit his country and I’d like to go. I’ll rock Caracas!”
You may scoff, but we think his odd-couple coupling could work out. Seriously. Courtney and Hugo have so much in common. For example:
Continue reading “Drug-addled Courtney Love makes goo-goo eyes at power-addled Hugo Chavez”
Hugo Chavez hates Fox News, says their “minds are filled with confusions.” Congratulations, Fox. You know you’re doing something right when you’re loathed by a bombastic Communist dictator.
Congratulations, Fox. You know you’re doing something right when you’re loathed by a bombastic Communist dictator.
FCC Chief Diversity Officer Mark Lloyd: “White people” should be forced to “step down…so someone else can have power.” His opinions on the First Amendment, race, power and the American system make Van Jones’ opinions seem positively mainstream.
That’s a quote from Mark Lloyd, the Federal Communications Commission’s new Chief Diversity Officer. His opinions on the First Amendment, race, power and the American system make Van Jones’ opinions seem positively mainstream.
“It should be clear by now that my focus here is not freedom of speech or the press. This freedom is all too often an exaggeration. At the very least, blind references to freedom of speech or the press serve as a distraction from the critical examination of other communications policies.
“…the purpose of free speech is warped to protect global corporations and block rules that would promote democratic governance.”
Of course, Lloyd loves Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez’ “incredible … democratic revolution.” He also admires the way “Chavez began to take very seriously the media in his country.” Translation: Chavez closed down any media outlets that deigned to oppose him.
What’s baffling is that any president ever appointed anyone with these fringe, extreme leftist beliefs to any position in the American government.
Of course, we’ve never had a President like Barack Obama before.
Source: Brietbart.tv
Looks like there’s no one left in Venezuela brave enough to tell Hugo Chavez when one of his ideas is stupid.
The Venezuelan strongman (we can’t bring ourselves to call him “President”) just launched one of the world’s most inexpensive cell phones. At just $15, it rivals the cheapest Asian phones.
The stupid part is that he named it the Vergatorio, which is Venezuelan slang for penis. He even made penis jokes at the public product launch.
Why, you may wonder, is the Venezuelan leader introducing a new cell phone and giving it an offensive name? Because he can. He recently nationalized the company that developed the phone, which makes him its new chief executive.
Makes sense to us. And we look forward to seeing Barack Obama introduce the exciting new 2010 Chryslers in the near future.
Update: While we didn’t name it after someone’s body part, the United States has a free government cell phone.
Source: Telegraph UK
Please allow us to talk out loud while we try to make sense of this:
When Hugo Chavez nationalized the oil companies in Venezuela and said he was doing it for the good of the country, that’s bad. But when Barack Obama nationalized the car companies in the United States and said it was for the good of the country, that’s good.
Here’s how CNSNews.com reports events in Venezuela:
The BBC recently carried this headline: ‘Chavez seizes oil service firms.’ The article describes how the president of Venezuela “sent troops to take over companies that provide services for the oil industry.” This is the kind of stuff which used to make headlines, back in the days when it was rare for central governments to take control of private companies. But, these days it passes almost without comment. Chavez didn’t try to couch the takeover in terms of TARPs or Stimulus Packages or Stress Tests. Chavez said, “This is a revolutionary offensive.”
Oh, just imagine the laughs these two amigos will share the next time they get together.
Unfortunately, the laugh’s on us.
Source: CNSNews.com
Translated: “The rich are not human, they are animals in human form.”
We didn’t know the the DNC hired Hugo Chavez to float trial balloons for future class warfare campaign slogans.
I know President Chavez well. Whether or not one agrees with all his policies, what is certainly true of Chavez is that he is a warm and friendly man with a robust sense of humor (who daily risks his own life for his country in ways Dick Cheney could never imagine). To treat such a man coldly is akin to spitting on him. As a country we’ve done enough of that. Say what you will, but it has only resulted in the self-celebration of our smirking spitters, while costing us international respect, American lives, and left wounds in the hands of our children’s future. The Cheneys, down to the O’Reillys and Hannitys and Limbaughs, effectively hate the principles upon which we were founded. They are among the greatest cowards in all of American history. I applaud an American President who’s tough enough…to smile.
Oh, if only Barack Obama had been president back before the Iraq war. He could have smiled at Penn’s other buddy, Saddam Hussein.
Source: HuffingtonPost.com
Just last month in Doha, Venezuelan President and Fidel Castro wannabe Hugo Chavez called the U.S. “the great guilty one, the great Satan.”
Chavez also called President Obama “ignorant.” Now Obama has proven Chavez’ point, smiling and giving Chavez the “bro” handshake.
Dude, where’s my country?
Source: Times UK
So much for that theory. Now it turns out that everybody and their brother wants an apology. Hugo Chavez evens wants us to apologize to the Japanese.
“It is very encouraging that the president of the United States called for the end of and the destruction of nuclear arms in the world,” Hugo Chavez told reporters in Tokyo, where he signed an investment deal with Japan.
The United States is “the planet’s number one nuclear power. It is also the only country in the world that dropped the atomic bomb,” Chavez stated. “At any rate, I think America should apologize to Japan.”
This, of course, is back to back to back with Fidel Castro demanding an apology and Iran lining up for one, too.
Let’s just apologize now. Japan, we’re sorry you attacked us and we kicked your asses in World War II. Venezuela, we’re sorry you were stupid enough to “elect” this megalomaniac. Iran, we’re sorry you’re governed by a group of 13th century lunatics. Cuba, we’re sorry Fidel Castro is still alive. And as an added bonus, United Nations, we’re sorry we ever rented you space in New York city.
Anyone else want an apology? Get in line.
Source: Iran Press TV via LGF
Yeah, well, if Hugo was so smart he could write his own speeches instead of just recycling Obama’s.
Source: Drudge Report
President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela has just called upon President Obama to help lead the world out of the global recession by joining the project of “21st century socialism” of which Chavez is the self-proclaimed leader.
Speaking to a group of workers in the Venezuelan state of Bolivar, their Dear leader directed this comment to our Dear Leader: “Come with us, align yourself, come with us on the road to socialism. This is the only path. Imagine a socialist revolution in the United States/”
Far-fetched? Not to Chavez: “Nothing is impossible. Who would have thought in the 1980s that the Soviet Union would disappear? Nothing is impossible. Who would have thought in the 1980s that the Soviet Union would disappear? No one,” he said. “That murderous, genocidal empire has to end, and some day there has to come a leader … who interprets the best of a people who also include human beings who suffer, endure, weep and laugh.”
Reporters and anchors in the newsrooms of America must be bewildered. On the one hand, it is music to their ears to hear the call to socialism here in America, coming on so strong and so soon after they collectively installed their president. On the other hand, there aren’t a lot of reporters reporting in Venezuela, now are there?
Source: Drudge Report
Hugh Chavez, the “elected” president of Venezuela, has been told by his doctor to stop talking in order to rest his vocal chords.
The loony leftist often delivers rambling diatribes that stretch on for five hours or more, putting enormous stress on his vocal chords and his listeners.
“I am a little affected by the intensive, continuous and permanent use of this cannon I’ve got here and the doctor has told me not to talk,” Chavez quipped to a recent audience.
Chavez’ throat is enflamed by the stress of giving dozens of rambling campaign speeches in which he frequently sings and shouts. He recently spoke before the Venezuelan Congress for nearly seven hours. On top of that, he also hosts a weekly TV show.
Imagine that. A president who goes on television every week and speaks endlessly. Looks like America really has become a third world country.
Source: Reuters
