Tag: Janeane Garofalo

If you’re reading this, Janeane would say you’re a brain dead, tea bagging racist. She’s not just annoying and ignorant, she’s militantly annoying and ignorant.

Janeane Garofalo: Conservatives are so stupid they don’t know what “depilitorizing” means

She looks homeless. She sounds brainless. She’s that one and only leftwing lunatic, Janeane Garofalo, guest starring in Night of the Living Braindead.

She looks homeless. She sounds brainless. She’s that one and only leftwing lunatic, Janeane Garofalo, guest starring in Night of the Living Braindead.

In tonight’s episode, Janeane introduces a new word to the English language: depilitorizing.

We graduated from a major liberal west coast university, which means we have an 8th grade vocabulary, so we know a lot of words most people haven’t mastered. We have seven, maybe eight hundred words in our rather extensive vocabularies.

In case you didn’t know, depilitorizing is the act of removing hair from your demilitarized zone. For example, “When I was stationed in Seoul, I got depilitorized. They called it a Korean Brazilian.”

We’re not sure why Garofalo brought up her debilitorized zone in the middle of this conversation.

Oh, and by the way, conservatives control the media.

Janeane said so.

H/T: Jammie Wearing Fool

Janeane Garofalo meets Rosie O’Donnell. It’s like Mothra Meets Godzilla. Only scarier.

According to the lovely and effervescent Janeane Garofalo and the sweet and petite Rosie O’Donnell, everyone in the world is a liar. Or stupid. Everyone, that is, except liberals. They are pure, kind and generous. Especially with your money.

According to the lovely and effervescent Janeane Garofalo and the sweet and petite Rosie O’Donnell, everyone in the world is a liar. Or stupid. Everyone, that is, except liberals. They are pure, kind and generous. Especially with your money.

Have you ever heard two angrier, nastier human beings?

Dog treats Janeane Garofalo exactly like she treats conservatives

This short video clip demonstrates that the lovely and charming Ms. Garofalo may own the smartest dog in the world. The pooch manages to do to Garofalo exactly what she’s been doing to conservatives.

This short video clip demonstrates that the lovely and charming Ms. Garofalo may own the smartest dog in the world. The pooch manages to do to Garofalo exactly what she’s been doing to conservatives.

Please note that this may be the first time in history that the words “Garofalo” and “dog” have been used in the same sentence while referring to different things.

H/t: IOwnTheWorld.com

Janeane Garofalo: She’s everything we’ve ever wanted in a girl

Janeane Garofalo demonstrated her delightfulness in a recent interview with the Guardian UK. Please be warned, however, that she uses some delightfully obscene language.

Who could blame us for falling in love with the future Mrs. IHateTheMedia.com
Who could blame us for falling in love with the future Mrs. IHateTheMedia.com

What’s not to love about Janeane Garofalo? She’s delightful. She’s covered with delightful tattoos. And she has a delightful disposition. She is, in a word, delightful.

She demonstrated her delightfulness in a recent interview with the Guardian UK. Please be warned, however, that she uses some delightfully obscene language.

Her delightful thoughts about getting her head blown off in “Team America: World Police”:

“I didn’t like that at all,” says the actor and comedian. “I didn’t see it, but I know about it. The only upside to it was I was given far more credit for being famous that I’ve ever been given in my life.” … “What am I getting my head blown off for? For speaking out against an immoral, illegal and unjustified invasion and occupation? What they did was cowardly. To try and get yourself off the hook by saying we’re equal-opportunity offenders, it doesn’t mean shit to me.”

Her delightful thoughts on tea parties:

“Fucking redneck douchebaggery. Unmitigated douchebaggery. Why are they holding signs that say, ‘Whatchoo talking about, Willis?’ These people are called ‘racially sensitive’, what they should be called is racist, backward motherfuckers.”

Her delightful thoughts on Fox News:

“They only book people who are easy to mock and marginalise. I kind of thought, ‘Someone’s got to do it.’ But talking to those assholes is a drag. It’s a drag meeting the same assholes from high school when you’re 40.”

Her delightful thoughts on “24″:

“Initially when I was asked to do the show I had reservations about it because of the politics. And I thought further and realised, I don’t have a job. So I put my reservations on the back burner. And I did enjoy working there, it was one of the most enjoyable jobs I’ve had.” There was nothing that made you go, ‘Whoa there’? “Besides all the torture? Sure, that made me go, ‘Whoa there.’ Luckily they allowed my character to voice her distaste for the violation of the constitution, but then they’d have Jack yell at her.” Garofalo isn’t bitter about it, but doesn’t think she’ll go back. “Objectively speaking, I don’t think my character served any purpose. I don’t think they needed Janis Gold.”

Who wouldn’t fall in love with this delightful girl.

Janeane, would you please do us the honor of marrying us?

Source: Guardian UK

Janeane Garofalo bombs in Britain, walks off stage when no one laughs

Janeane Garofalo cut short her Saturday afternoon set in Latitude’s comedy tent because of the poor reception she was given by the audience.

Discerning British comedy fans gave Janeane Garofalo a sitting non-ovation
Discerning British comedy fans gave Janeane Garofalo a sitting non-ovation

In honor of our long-standing, warm relationship with the Brits, we sincerely hope no one actually paid good money to see Janeane Garofalo based on the concept that she might be funny.

Here’s how Uncut UK describes the cold reception she got at the hands of discerning British comedy fans:

Janeane Garofalo cut short her Saturday afternoon set in Latitude’s comedy tent because of the poor reception she was given by the audience. The American comedienne’s rare UK live appearance was expected to be one of the highlights in a strong comic line-up, but she failed to win over the festival crowd.

Best known to TV viewers as talent booker Paula in The Larry Sanders Show and political campaigner Louise in the final series of The West Wing, Garofalo was due perform for half an hour, but left the stage after less than ten minutes when her routine about post-9/11 security checks at airports met with stony silence.

“It’s not you, I blame myself for this,” she said before leaving the stage. The gap her abrupt exit left in the schedule was filled by the next act Ed Byrne agreeing to go on early. He opened his own routine with a question for the event promoters; “Now that I’m doing a longer set, can I have some of Janeane’s money?”

Garofalo did regain her sense of humor during an interview on the BBC when she said, “Mostly the media in the States is much more to the right. I mean there is almost no liberal outlet for news commentary and editorializing.”

To paraphrase Kenny Bania, Jerry Seinfeld’s unfunny comedian friend, “That’s gold, Janeane, gold.”

Source: Uncut via Tim Blair

Garofalo: “I do not apologize…Everybody I saw at that Tea Party are racist.”

janeane_garafalo But will she apologize for her awful grammar? “Everybody is a racist,” Janeane, “Everybody is.”

Hell, even we ignorant, redneck, racist Tea Baggers know that.

Souce: BigHollywood.com via Drudge

GE shareholders erupt in anger over MSNBC’s leftwing bias

(UPDATE BELOW)

GE shareholders gather outside MSNBC's headquarters. Keith Olbermann cowers in fear inside.
GE shareholders gather outside MSNBC's headquarters. Keith Olbermann cowers in fear inside.

Anger erupted at GE’s annual shareholders meeting on Wednesday. “The crowd was angry with MSNBC because of its leftward tilt,” one person observed. “Some former employees said they were embarrassed by it.”

The complaints came hot and heavy. During the question-and-answer period, shareholders repeatedly asked executives about political views expressed on MSNBC and CNBC.

They were pissed about the report that GE honcho Jeff Immelt and NBC Universal CEO Jeff Zucker reportedly held a dinner meeting at which they told top CNBC executives and and on-air talent to take it easy on President Obama.

They were steamed that MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann didn’t challenge of lunatic Janeane Garofalo’s lunatic ramblings in an interview last week.

It went on and on. The angry questioners refused to be silenced. GE finally resorted to shutting off their microphones, which angered them even more.

“My biggest surprise was the open hostility to MSNBC,” noted one shareholder. “It was noticeable and loud. I don’t remember any of this going on last year.”

A few weeks ago, President Obama told a group of executives, “My administration is the only thing between you and the pitchforks.”

Looks like President Obama was right about the pitchforks. But this isn’t quite the way he had envisioned them being used.

Source: HollywoodReporter.com

UPDATE: AUDIO TRACK OF CROWD BOOS WHEN GE CEO’S DEFENDS MSNBC

“O’Reilly Factor” producer Jesse Watters attended Wednesday’s annual GE shareholder meeting as both a GE shareholder and producer of “The O’ReillyFactor.”

He asked asked GE Chairman and CEO Jeffrey Immelt if Janeane Garofalo’s comments on MSNBC qualified as hate speech.

The other shareholders booed the CEO’s answer.

Source: FoxNation.com

Memo to the lovely and gracious Janeane Garofalo:

(Click for large image)
(Click for large image)

(Click for large image)
(Click for large image)

To: Janeane Garofalo
From: An outraged conservative
Re: Republican racists
Date: April 17, 2009

Earlier today we published the story Angry activist, actress Janeane Garofalo announces that you’re a racist where she told Keith Olbermann that tax protesters are nothing but a bunch of racist white power wackos.

Well, Janeane, here’s one of those racist Republicans at a Tea Party in Santa Ana, California, right in the heart of whitebread Orange County.

Oh, wait. That woman appears to be black. A black woman had the nerve to tweak Barack Obama’s America-bashing overseas statements on one side of her sign, then tweak Michelle Obama’s ’08 campaign comment on the other (“For the first time in my adult life I’m proud of my country”).

Being in Orange County, she probably isn’t authentically black. But take our word for it, she is authentically outraged.

Update: For some reason our Digg It button not working in this article. You can Digg it here. That is, if you want to send Garofalo the memo.

Angry activist, actress Janeane Garofalo announces that you’re a racist

Janeane Garofalo and Keith Olbermann are complete opposites. She’s angry and nuts, but he’s nuts and angry. Watching their alternate reality is like being dropped into some parallel universe where everything is twisted about 180 degrees.

Here are a few choice comments from Garofalo on Olbermann’s Thursday show. Amazingly, she knows things about you and the Tea Parties and Fox News that no one else has ever known. Or ever will know.

“Racism straightup. Nothing but a bunch of teabagging racists.” Blah-blah-blah. “These guys hate that a black guy is in the White House.” Blah-blah-blah. “Fox News loves to foment this anti-intellectualism because that’s their bread and butter.” Blah-blah-blah. “The Republican hyphen conservative movement has crystalized into the white power movement.”

Olbermann actually treats this lunatic like she’s a rational human being. Of course, that would be the pot calling the kettle black.

Hey, that wasn’t a racist comment. No matter what Garofalo says.

Update: Please read our subsequent Memo to the lovely and gracious Janeane Garofalo:

Source: HotAir.com

Toxic Janeane Garafalo compares Limbaugh to Manson & Hitler

janeane_garofalo_200x300Unfunny comedienne Janeane Garafalo showed up on Keith Olbermann’s show last night. She was as unfunny as ever, but Keith laughed Olber-maniacally anyway.

“The type of female that does like Rush is the same type of woman that falls in love with prisoners,” she said. After mentioning Richard Ramirez and Charles Manson, she continued by saying, “Eva Braun, Hitler’s girlfriend, that’s exactly the type of woman that responds really well to Rush.”

“(Former CNN anchor Daryn Kagan) dated him,” the ever-so-charming Garafalo whined, “so either she suffers from Stockholm Syndrome, a lot like Michael Steele, who’s the black guy in the Republican party who suffers from Stockholm Syndrome, which means you try and curry favor with the oppressor…any female or person of color in the Republican party is struggling with Stockholm Syndrome.”

Janeane Garafalo, equal opportunity hater.

Update: The Red Eye Crew has a good time ridiculing Garafalo (and Keith Olbermann) on this and related comments. It’s funnier than hell and worth watching. Includes video of Garafalo and Olbermann with their quotes.

Janeane Garofalo just called you an a-hole

janeane_garofalo__tattooThe lovely and gracious Janeane Garofalo has favored us with another of her sophisticated comments.

We don’t want to imply that the former Air America shrew’s career is in the dumper, but she did an interview with an “environmental celebrity blog.” Good lord, Janeane, that’s one step below talking to IHateTheMedia.com.

“The reason a person is a conservative republican is because something is wrong with them. Again, that’s science – that’s neuroscience. You cannot be well adjusted, open-minded, pluralistic, enlightened and be a republican. It’s counter-intuitive. And they revel in their anti-intellectualism. They revel in their cruelty.”

“…First you have to be an a**hole and then comes the conservatism. You gotta be a d*** to cleave onto their ideology…”

“I really believe that if a neuroscientist examined the brain of somebody who identified as a conservative, they would find it’s wired differently.”

One can only hope, Janeane. One can only hope.

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