Tag: investing

Hilarious: Key Al-Qaeda operative blew $20 million on Chicago futures exchange

Pity poor Al Tayyeb. He hoped to end up with a fat wallet, but when his Saudi “investors” find out what he did, he’ll probably end up with a fatwa instead.

Trading commodities is a harrowing way to make a living. These lunatics risk millions of dollars on split second bets for tenths of a cent. The good ones end up absurdly wealthy, but the bad ones end up with holes in their stomachs. And they all end up with teeth ground down to the roots.

futures-traders
Losing $20 million on the Chicago futures exchange probably limits your future in Al-Qaeda

The Chicago Tribune explains how Al-Qaeda fits into the story:

Abu al Tayyeb, who had allegedly considered a biological attack and other terror plots against U.S. citizens, wired $35 million to an associate, of which $26.7 million was deposited into an account in 2005, according to the federal lawsuit by the U.S. Justice Department.

In less than a year, the account plummeted to less than $7 million because of poor trading decisions by the associate, according to the lawsuit, filed in federal court in Chicago over the weekend.

… While the civil lawsuit does not link al Tayyeb’s money to any terror activity, it portrays him as an al-Qaida operative who raised money for the terror group and plotted attacks on U.S. citizens and allies.

“Al Tayyeb began raising significant amounts of money through … a Saudi Arabian-based investment scheme,” the lawsuit alleged. “Al Tayyeb then used the funds raised, in part, to finance jihadist-related activities.”

Pity poor Al Tayyeb. He hoped to end up with a fat wallet, but when his Saudi “investors” find out what he did, he’ll probably end up with a fatwa instead.

Source: Chicago Tribune

How Obama really feels about America’s future: A look at his personal portfolio should scare the hell out of you

Maybe it’s just us, but we’d have a lot more confidence in someone who wants to fundamentally change America if he were willing to put his money where his mouth is.

Maybe it’s just us, but we’d have a lot more confidence in someone who wants to fundamentally change America if he were willing to put his money where his mouth is.

We learned earlier this week that President Obama’s personal wealth has exploded in the last five years and that he now be worth as much as $15 million dollars. Those same financial disclosure forms show that he’s willing to make short-term investments in the American economy, but not long-term? Not so much.

obama money
Uh-oh. President Obama isn't making any long-term investments in the American economy.

CNS News has the speculative specifics:

President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama own between $2.1 million and $10.25 million in U.S. Treasury securities, according to the president’s financial disclosure form released yesterday.

But all of that money is invested in short-term U.S. Treasury bills and intermediate-term U.S. Treasury notes. None is in long-term U.S. Treasury bonds.

By definition, according to the U.S. Treasury Department, Treasury “bills” mature in one year or less, Treasury “notes” mature in terms of 2 to 10 years, and Treasury “bonds” mature in 30 years.

U.S. Treasury bonds pay a higher interest rate than the shorter-term Treasury notes and bills, but they also carry a higher risk of their value being eroded by inflation.

…As listed on page 3 of the disclosure, the president and first lady own three blocs of U.S. Treasury securities. They own a bloc of short-term Treasury bills worth between $100,001 and $250,000 in a SEP/IRA. They own a much larger bloc of short-term Treasury bills worth between $1,000,001 and $5,000,000 that is not in an IRA. And they own a bloc of intermediate-term Treasury notes worth between $1,000,001 and $5,000,000.

Warren Buffett always says, “Invest in what you know.” It seems clear that Barack Obama knows his policies are long-term losers.

Source: CNS News

Hypocritical Bono named America’s worst investor

Bono, lead singer of Irish rock band U2, who travels the world preaching that everyone should pay higher taxes but then moved the band’s corporate headquarters to the Netherlands in an effort to avoid paying higher taxes, won’t have to worry about that issue this year. Because he lost his Irish ass in the stock market in 2009.

Financial woes have Irish rocker Bono singing the blues

Bono, lead singer of Irish rock band U2, who travels the world preaching that everyone should pay higher taxes but then moved the band’s corporate headquarters to the Netherlands in an effort to avoid paying higher taxes, won’t have to worry about that issue this year. Because he lost his Irish ass in the stock market in 2009.

The San Francisco Business Journal tells how Bono hit some sour financial notes:

U2 singer Bono’s investments into Elevation Partners, which has offices in New York and Menlo Park, have helped make him the “worst investor investor in America,” according to the online publication 24/7 Wall Street.

With large investments in Palm, Forbes, and Move.com — “an unprecedented string of disastrous investments which even bad luck could not explain” — Elevation Partners has earned the distinction of being “arguably the worst run institutional fund of any size in the United States,” 24/7 Wall Street asserts.

…Elevation bought 25 percent of Palm in 2007, and the company’s stock has since tanked – down to $3.65 from $18 last September…

Elevation Partners put $300 million into Forbes’ online operations in 2006, and the company’s total value has dropped from $750 million to “perhaps $100 million.”

Elevation put $100 million into Move.com, which owns home and real estate websites, and company shares subsequently lost 50 percent of their value, 24/7 noted.

There’s more, but our uncharacteristic schadenfreude seems to be getting the better of us. Suffice it to say, if Bono had been around in 1845 he probably would have invested in potatoes.

Source: San Francisco Business Journal

The good news: Unemployment’s down to 9.7%.
The bad news: Not really

CNBC/MSNBC’s Erin Burnett gives a more realistic picture of that fabulous 9.7% unemployment number. And she’s hot, too, but that doesn’t effect our completely unbiased journalistic integrity. Much.

CNBC/MSNBC’s Erin Burnett gives a more realistic picture of that fabulous 9.7% unemployment number.

And she’s hot, too, but that doesn’t effect our completely unbiased journalistic integrity. Much.

Jim Cramer predicts big “Scott Brown” stock market rally

CNBC Mad Money host Jim Cramer predicts that a Scott Brown win in the Massachusetts senate race heralds the end of Obama’s socialist experiment. And that, friends, will lead directly to a massive stock market rally. We say a bit of this today as the markets gained strongly on predictions are that Brown will win.

CNBC Mad Money host Jim Cramer predicts that a Scott Brown win in the Massachusetts senate race heralds the end of Obama’s socialist experiment. And that, friends, will lead directly to a massive stock market rally. We say a bit of this today as the markets gained strongly on predictions are that Brown will win.

Cramer: …I think investors who are nervous about the dictatorship of the Pelosi proletariat will feel at ease, and we could have a gigantic rally off a Coakley loss and a Brown win. It will be a signal that a more pro-business, less pro-labor government could be in front of us. Hey, would you say it is more China like perhaps? No, we can never be as capitalist as the Communist Chinese. But how about a little bit less like the old Soviet Union? Yeah, that would be a bit more like it. Pelosi politburo emasculation! Everything from the banks, which are usually in the Democrats’ penalty box, or the oils which are despised by this administration for being carbon, could be propelled dramatically higher all of this Tuesday night.

Make sense to us. But then, we’re need to worry about our own states of mind when Cramer starts making sense.

Geithner says China’s American investments are safe, students burst out laughing

Audience member reacts as Tim Geithner quips, "I just flew in from Washington, DC. And boy, are my arms tired."
Audience member reacts as Tim Geithner quips, "I just flew in from Washington, DC. And boy, are my arms tired."

Poor Tim Geithner. He gave a speech at a Chinese university and attempted to reassure the students that their government’s immense dollar-denominated assets are safe.

“We believe in a strong dollar,” Geithner told the students at Peking University. “Chinese financial assets are very safe.”

The students laughed. Out loud.

Can’t blame them. You have to admit that it’s one of the funniest things you’ve ever heard.

Source: Reuters.com

GE shareholders erupt in anger over MSNBC’s leftwing bias

(UPDATE BELOW)

GE shareholders gather outside MSNBC's headquarters. Keith Olbermann cowers in fear inside.
GE shareholders gather outside MSNBC's headquarters. Keith Olbermann cowers in fear inside.

Anger erupted at GE’s annual shareholders meeting on Wednesday. “The crowd was angry with MSNBC because of its leftward tilt,” one person observed. “Some former employees said they were embarrassed by it.”

The complaints came hot and heavy. During the question-and-answer period, shareholders repeatedly asked executives about political views expressed on MSNBC and CNBC.

They were pissed about the report that GE honcho Jeff Immelt and NBC Universal CEO Jeff Zucker reportedly held a dinner meeting at which they told top CNBC executives and and on-air talent to take it easy on President Obama.

They were steamed that MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann didn’t challenge of lunatic Janeane Garofalo’s lunatic ramblings in an interview last week.

It went on and on. The angry questioners refused to be silenced. GE finally resorted to shutting off their microphones, which angered them even more.

“My biggest surprise was the open hostility to MSNBC,” noted one shareholder. “It was noticeable and loud. I don’t remember any of this going on last year.”

A few weeks ago, President Obama told a group of executives, “My administration is the only thing between you and the pitchforks.”

Looks like President Obama was right about the pitchforks. But this isn’t quite the way he had envisioned them being used.

Source: HollywoodReporter.com

UPDATE: AUDIO TRACK OF CROWD BOOS WHEN GE CEO’S DEFENDS MSNBC

“O’Reilly Factor” producer Jesse Watters attended Wednesday’s annual GE shareholder meeting as both a GE shareholder and producer of “The O’ReillyFactor.”

He asked asked GE Chairman and CEO Jeffrey Immelt if Janeane Garofalo’s comments on MSNBC qualified as hate speech.

The other shareholders booed the CEO’s answer.

Source: FoxNation.com

Porn star strips at Milan stock exchange to protest financial crisis, traders immediately go long


The Milan Stock Exchange now has a 10 Euro cover charge and a two-drink minimum. (click for larger image, without stars)
The Milan Stock Exchange now has a 10 Euro cover charge and a two-drink minimum. (click for larger image without stars)

American protestors have a lot to learn from our European brothers. Or, to be more precise, from our European sisters.

Police officials say an Italian porn star stripped last Tuesday at the Milan stock exchange to protest the financial crisis. Laura Perego climbed on to a table inside the exchange covered only by her mutandines (BabelFish, don’t fail us now) and a painting of Italian flag

Why aren’t the American networks reporting this story 24/7? They should cover this brave, patriotic woman at least as much as Cindy Sheehan.

Or uncover her, as the case may be.

Source: Reuters via NewsBlaze.com

That thud you just heard was Warren Buffett throwing Obama under the bus

Warren Buffet has hopped off the Hope’n’change Express and thrown its driver under the wheels.

The tycoon, who lent Obama his economic credibility, told CNBC that he’s having second thoughts about his choice for president. Maybe even third ones.

A sizeable portion of Buffet’s wealth has evaporated since Election Day. So the world’s second-richest man had a few choice words about Obama’s handling of the economy and the administration’s cynical new mantra about a crisis being a terrible thing to waste. Naturally, the CNBC interview was promptly ignored by the rest of the dinosaur media.

Before launching into his criticism, Buffet made sure to offer a qualifying disclaimer. “I strongly support him,” Buffet said, “and I think he’s the right guy.” For some reason, Buffet couldn’t explain exactly why he still supports Obama. But never mind.

Then came Warren’s big BUT:

“…Job one is to win the war, the economic war. Job two is to win the economic war. And job three. And you can’t expect people to unite behind you if you’re trying to jam a whole bunch of things down their throat. So I would, I would absolutely say for the, for the interim, till we get this one solved, I would not be pushing a lot of things that are, you know, are contentious. And I also, I also would do no finger-pointing whatsoever.”

Note: the above quote begins at minute 15:45 in video.

We think he said “finger pointing” but it might have been “finger painting.” Because we’d all be a lot better off if Obama did more of the latter and less of the former.

WSJ article says “Obama’s Radicalism Is Killing the Dow”

dow after obama chart to 03-05-09

Note to White House: don’t let the president see today’s issue of the Wall Street Journal.

Tell him the dog chewed it up. Tell him the delivery boy threw it on the roof. Tell him they’re still drying it out because it got rained on. Come up with any excuse you want, but don’t let him see the paper.

“It’s hard,” Stanford economics professor Michael J. Boskin said, “not to see the continued sell-off on Wall Street and the growing fear on Main Street as a product, at least in part, of the realization that our new president’s policies are designed to radically re-engineer the market-based U.S. economy, not just mitigate the recession and financial crisis.

“The illusion that Barack Obama will lead from the economic center,” the article continued, “has quickly come to an end. Instead of combining the best policies of past Democratic presidents — John Kennedy on taxes, Bill Clinton on welfare reform and a balanced budget, for instance — President Obama is returning to Jimmy Carter’s higher taxes and Mr. Clinton’s draconian defense drawdown.”

Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. One who lusted in his heart. One who lusted in the Oval Office. And one who lusted to destroy capitalism.

Link: Wall Street Journal

Bill Maher’s going to have trouble finding a stockbroker

Has anyone with his own network TV show ever been unfunnier than Bill Maher? OK, maybe Bill Moyers. But we’d call it a toss-up.

Maher’s 2009 HBO show just premiered on Friday night. But he’s already in mid-season form when it comes to unfunny. He ended the season-opener with this suggestion:

“If we killed two random, rich greedy pigs, blew them up at halftime at next year’s Super Bowl, or left them hanging on the big board at the New York Stock Exchange — you know, as a warning, with their balls in their mouths — I think it would really make everyone else sit up and take notice.”

Tom Cruise heard what Maher said and expressed interest in becoming a stockbroker until Katie Holmes told him Maher was only speaking figuratively.

I HATE THE MEDIA ™
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