Laughing at the UN, not with it: North Korea chosen to chair UN disarmament conference

The United Nations again made itself an international laughing stock… by appointing North Korea chair of the U.N. Conference on Disarmament.

The UN is so daffy it would make news the day it didn’t say or do something stupid. Unfortunately, today is not that day. The Weekly Standard relates another “dog bites man” UN story:

kim-jong-il
"Slap me naked," Kim Jong Il said, "if the U.N. ever takes my country seriously."

… the United Nations again made itself an international laughing stock… by appointing North Korea chair of the U.N. Conference on Disarmament. Senator John Kerry [has said North Korea]…has “twice tested nuclear weapons…is developing missiles to carry them…has built facilities capable of producing highly enriched uranium for more nuclear weapons” and has defied a U.N. arms embargo by exporting weapons and sensitive technologies to rogue regimes. 

A UN idea so stupid even John Kerry noticed? Not quite.

Alas, Senator Kerry is also one of the lead champions of the United Nations in the Senate. According to the U.N., “The Conference is funded from the UN regular budget, reports to the General Assembly and receives guidance from it.”

If North Korea uses that kind of guidance in their missles, they’ll end up hitting Pyongyang.

The UN is composed of folks with funny names who eat expensive food, basically a bunch of Barack Obamas. There’s gotta be some fancy thinkin’ behind this, right?

North Korea assumes the Conference chairmanship by being the next state in the alphabetical rotation of the 65 members, which include five nuclear weapons states and 60 other countries such as Iran and Syria.

Great, stupidity is on auto-pilot at the UN. What else can go wrong?

…American taxpayers… foot 22 percent of the [UN’s] bill…

Budget hawks, here’s some dead meat to feed on.

– Written by Bonfire of the Absurdities

Source: Weekly Standard

North Korea abandons communism: What does
Kim Jong-il know that Barack Obama doesn’t know?

We have a president who bows to dictators, but the world’s dictators seem to be bowing to reality. The latest surprising addition to the “Socialism Doesn’t Really Seem to Work That Well Club” is North Korea’s Kim Jong-il.

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Did you ever think you'd live long enough to see the words "Kim Jong-il" and "capitalist" together in the same sentence?

We have a president who bows to dictators, but the world’s dictators seem to be bowing to reality.

The latest surprising addition to the “Socialism Doesn’t Really Seem to Work That Well Club” is North Korea’s Kim Jong-il.

The Washington Post has news of the Nork dictator’s sudden economic enlightenment:

Continue reading “North Korea abandons communism: What does
Kim Jong-il know that Barack Obama doesn’t know?”

Maybe the North Koreans aren’t so crazy after all

North Korea: “We cannot but regard Mrs. Clinton as a funny lady as she likes to utter such rhetoric, unaware of the elementary etiquette in the international community. Sometimes she looks like a primary schoolgirl and sometimes a pensioner going shopping.”

Kim Jong-Il, dictator of North Korea and master of diplomatic insults
Kim Jong-Il, dictator of North Korea and master of diplomatic insults

On Wednesday, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton made a speech in which she made some very harsh comments about the North Korean government. On Thursday, the North Korean Foreign Ministry responded by issuing a statement about Clinton. It demonstrated a wisdom rarely seen in diplomatic circles.

“We cannot but regard Mrs. Clinton as a funny lady as she likes to utter such rhetoric, unaware of the elementary etiquette in the international community. Sometimes she looks like a primary schoolgirl and sometimes a pensioner going shopping.”

We are now reassessing our previous harsh criticism of the Pyongyang government.

Source: WashingtonPost.com

Obama to Kim Jong-Il: “Pretty please with sugar on it”

The Obama administration will order the Navy to hail and request permission to inspect North Korean ships at sea suspected of carrying arms or nuclear technology, but will not board them by force.

Kim Jong-Il tries to stifle a laugh as he hears President Obama's latest tough talk
Kim Jong-Il tries to stifle a laugh as he hears President Obama's latest tough talk

Watch out, Kim Jong-Il. President Obama’s on the warpath. Well, it’s not so much the “warpath” as it is the “talk-really-nice-and-dictators-will-do-what-you-want path.”

It’s been reported that he’s ordered the American Navy to ask real nicely if we can inspect the cargo on North Korea’s ships.

Here’s how the New York Times reports it: “The Obama administration will order the Navy to hail and request permission to inspect North Korean ships at sea suspected of carrying arms or nuclear technology, but will not board them by force, senior administration officials said Monday.”

“Well, sure, Imperialist Yankee Dogs. Come aboard and take a look. And while you’re here, let’s have a little kim chee.”

We suspect that this will work out about as well as Obama’s fist bump with Hugo Chavez and his pretty letter to Mahmoud Achmadinejad.

Maybe there is something to this reincarnation stuff. Because it sure looks like Barack Obama was Neville Chamberlain in a previous life.

Source: New York Times via BluegrassPundit.com

Yoko Ono threatens nuclear war with South Korea

Things are getting so tense on the Korean Peninsula that Yoko Ono has threatened to go nuclear.

Kim Jong-Il
What did South Korea do to piss off Yoko Ono so badly?

Things are getting so tense on the Korean Peninsula that Yoko Ono has threatened to go nuclear.

According to the Associated Press, “North Korea’s communist regime has warned of a nuclear war on the Korean peninsula while vowing to step up its atomic bomb-making program in defiance of new U.N. sanctions.”

“The North’s defiance presents a growing diplomatic headache for President Barack Obama as he prepares for talks Tuesday with his South Korean counterpart on the North’s missile and nuclear programs.”

Update: We’ve just been informed that the photo attached to this article is actually of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il, not Yoko Ono. Our deepest apologies to Kim. No one should be mistaken for Yoko Ono.

Soure: Associated Press

Kim Jong-Il names youngest son as successor, because older son “had the warm heart of a girl”

His father has the height of a young girl and Kim Jong Chul has the heart of a young girl.
His father has the height of a young girl and Kim Jong Chul has the heart of a young girl.

When you claim to be 5’6” but wear booster shoes and a poofie pompadour hairdo to get there, you just don’t want your successor to have the warm heart of a girl. Especially if you’re the brutal dictator of North Korea. Especially if he’s your son.

Kim Jong Un, Crazy Kim Jong-Il’s youngest son, has been declared North Korea’s next beloved leader. He won out over his two older brothers.

To tell the truth, we really don’t care which nutty son succeeds the North Korean dictator. But the older brothers, Kim Jong Nam and Kim Jong Chul, seem far more interesting. Back in 2001 Japanese officials detained Nam when he tried to visit Tokyo Disneyland on a forged passport. He also been spotted enjoying the nightlife in Paris, Beijing and Macau. And according to former Pyongyang insider Kenji Fujimoto, “The older brother, Jong Chul, had the warm heart of a girl.”

Seriously, if you have the warm heart of a girl, North Korea is not the place for you. San Francisco, maybe, but not Pyongyang.

Source: Times UK

25 clues that Kim Jong-Il is nuttier than a fruitcake

kim_jung_il We feel pretty confident saying that Kim Jong-Il is a friggin’ lunatic, even though his father dubbed him “the Dear Leader” and “a genius of 10,000 talents.”.

Other than the fact that we are highly-trained psychologists, what gives us the right to say that? Well, just consider these 25 idiosyncrasies of the little nutcase:

    1. Wears oversized, tinted Elvis Presley-style sunglasses.
    2. Almost always wears a jumpsuit. Almost always the same color.
    3. Applauds whenever his army goosesteps past him.
    4. Has been known to throw banquets that last for up to four days.
    5. Once ordered his agents to kidnap South Korean director Shin Sang-Ok and actress wife Choi Eun-Hee to make propaganda films, including a revolutionary version of Godzilla.
    6. Consumes more Hennessy VSOP congnac than anyone else in the world. Reportedly spends more than $650,000 a year to import his favorite elixir.
    7. Once downed 10 glasses of wine during a meeting with South Korean President Kim Dae-jung.
    8. Reportedly owns more than 20,000 films.
    9. Has personally selected a group of young women he calls the Pleasure Brigade to provide his “home entertainment.”
    10. His fear of flying is so extreme that he travels to Russia and China on a private train.
    11. Claims to be an expert horseman although no evidence exists to prove it.
    12. Claims he has a photographic memory and superhuman powers of recall.
    13. Claims he shot a remarkable 11 holes in one during his first 18 holes of golf.
    14. Has been accused of masterminding the 1983 assassination attempt on the South Korean President Chun Doo-hwan.
    15. Millions of North Koreans starved to death as a result of Kim’s gross mismanagement of the rural economy.
    16. Has only spoken nine words in public: “Glory to the heroic soldiers of the people’s army!”
    17. Claims that when he was born, “a double rainbow appeared over the mountain and a new star formed in the skies.”
    18. Once ordered five female disco dancers to strip, then ordered other North Korean officials to dance with them.
    19. After being knocked unconscious in an equestrian accident, demanded that his administrative staff be injected with the same painkiller with which he was injected. He didn’t want to become the only one addicted to it.
    20. Wears elevator shoes.
    21. Wears a puffy pompadour.
    22. Claims to have written 1,500 books — almost one per day – during his university years.
    23. Eclectic taste in movies: Loves “The Godfather,” James Bond, “Friday the 13th,” Daffy Duck, and Elizabeth Taylor.
    24. Once said of himself, “Small as a midget’s turd, aren’t I?”
    25. Claims his election was so momentous that pear trees bloomed in autumn.

On the other hand, Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright called him “charming.” Can’t argue with that in depth analysis.

Source: Guardian UK, Washington Post, Newsmax

Kim Jong-Il’s father called him “a genius of 10,000 talents.” Here’s one you probably didn’t expect.

If you think Kim Jong-Il is merely a run-of-the-mill brutal dictator, think again. His father called him “a genius of 10,000 talents.”

Equestrian. Golfer. Film director. Bon vivant. And now, dancer.

Al-Jazeera’s coverage of dictators is more honest than AP’s

This story provides a perfect demonstration of the corruption of the American media.

What else can it be called when Al-Jazeera’s coverage of tinhorn dictators is more honest than the coverage provided by Associated Press.

Just look at the difference in how the two services each covered the recent…uh…election in North Korea:

The AlJazeera.net story:
Kim ‘re-elected’ in N Korea vote

Kim Jong-il, the North Korean leader, has been re-elected to the country’s parliament in elections that have been closely watched for hints as to his possible successor.

In an unsurprising result Kim was re-elected by voters in Constituency 333 with 100 per cent support, the official KCNA news agency said on Monday.

The report said voters renewed their “unshakable determination to devotedly safeguard” the North Korean leader.

The Associated Press story:
North Korean leader Kim re-elected to parliament

Kim Jong Il was unanimously re-elected to North Korea’s rubber-stamp parliament, state media said Monday, in elections closely watched for signs of a political shift or hints the autocratic leader is grooming a successor.

All eligible voters in Constituency No. 333 cast ballots for Kim, renewing their “unshakable determination to devotedly safeguard” the leader, the official Korean Central News Agency said in first results from Sunday’s poll.

Contrast the two headlines: Al-Jazeera put quotation marks around the word “re-elected” in recognition of the fraudulent nature of the “election.” AP, on the other hand, may as well have been reporting that the British Prime minister had been re-elected.

Contrast the second paragraphs: Al-Jazeera refers to Kim’s unanimous election as “unsurprising” (in parens), another acknowledgement of the fraudulent nature of the “election.” AP simply reports that all eligible voters cast ballots for Kim as if that’s a common occurrence in elections.

Shame on Associated Press. They are so consumed by political correctness that they seem incapable of simply saying, “Kim Jong Il is a petty dictator and this election was a fraud.”

The only thing missing from their story was this line:

“Former President Jimmy Carter traveled to Pyongyang to observe the election and certified that it met the highest international standards for honesty and transparency.”

I HATE THE MEDIA ™
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