Oh, sure, the mainstream media tells you the Egyptians are rioting because they’re pissed at America and because they’re pissed at Israel and because they’re pissed at Mubarak and because they’re pissed at each other. But there are other reasons the Egyptians are pissed. Reasons the mainstream media never talks about.
Luckily, IHateTheMedia.com’s crack team of investigative reporters and Egyptologists has ferreted out some others reasons for the rioting in Cairo. Such as:
1. Angelina Jolie being cast in the remake of Cleopatra.
2. Nation’s failure to inspire a Top 40 hit or stupid dance craze since the mid-1980’s. (See video on left.)
3. Tired of Iranian dominance of the “Crazy Muslim Caucus” at Arab League meetings.
4. Facebook’s “Everybody Draw Ramses Day.”
5. Twilight series of books and movies doesn’t feature a mummy character along with the vampire and werewolf kid.
6. Cairo Blockbuster bringing back late fees.
7. They just found out that the Library of Alexandria was burned down.
8. Practicing soccer hooliganism for upcoming World Cup.
9. Redneck cops tasering innocent camels.
10. Haven’t had a chance to break out the camel cavalry outfits and sabers since World War I.
11. Rioting is their way of saying, “My religion of peace will bash in more heads than your religion of peace.”
12. Introduction of an innovative new program called “Winning the 14th Century.”
13. Muslim chicks dig rioters.
14. Rumor that Justin Bieber was playing at Tahir Square.
15. It’s an Islamic thing. You wouldn’t understand.
