Barack Hussein Obama, aka Barry Soetoro, 44th president of the United States — socialist, radical, and enemy of Americans who believe in the constitution. Here are hundreds of articles on this man.
Rachel Maddow loses it. She apoplectic that a good, reliable liberal network like CNN would violate MSNBC’s code of ethics and actually give time to an opposing point of view.
Rachel Maddow loses it. She apoplectic that a good, reliable liberal network like CNN would violate MSNBC’s code of ethics and actually give time to an opposing point of view.
This is classic: One network that no one watches is offended that another network that no one watches would air a speech that people might actually be interested in watching.
The Fairness Doctrine, liberal style.
In this State of the Union address word cloud, Obama said “America” a lot. He said “Americans” a lot. He said “government,” “people,” “years”, “new”, “jobs” and “make.” Funny thing, though. The words “debt” and “deficit” aren’t even in the top fifty.
President Obama said a lot of words last night. Oh, man, did he say a lot of words. It was almost as if the people who run Ben Bernanke’s printing presses wrote the speech.
As you can see in this word cloud of his State of the Union address, he said “America” a lot. He said “Americans” a lot. He said “government,” “people,” “years”, “new”, “jobs” and “make.”
Funny thing, though. The words “debt” and “deficit” aren’t even in the top fifty.
You might even say we had a deficit deficit.
Source: Zero Hedge via Economic Collapse.
John Heilemann of New York magazine tells Andrea Mitchell that his investigation uncovered the truly remarkable fact that President Obama never spoke to six members of his cabinet during his first two years in office. Not once.
Why speak to mere cabinet members when you have czars out the wazoo?
John Heilemann of New York magazine tells Andrea Mitchell that his investigation uncovered the truly remarkable fact that President Obama never spoke to six members of his cabinet during his first two years in office. Not once.
Not a single “Hey, how are the wife and kids.” Not one “How ’bout those wacky Iranians.” Nary a “Hey, got any ideas on the economy?”
If we had to make a wild guess, we’d say Secretary of Defense was one of the cabinet members Obama hasn’t spoken to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHCALJsTOtc
This guy is a genius until you take away his Teleprompter. When he ad libs he’s more like Elmo Lincoln than Abraham Lincoln.
This guy is a genius until you take away his Teleprompter. When he ad libs he’s more like Elmo Lincoln than Abraham Lincoln.
(Trust us, this is a much funnier line if you actually know who Elmo Lincoln was. Look him up.)
Here President Obama inspiring America by telling us that we need to “build stuff and invent stuff.”
This is, of course, in the grand tradition of FDR, who is famous for saying, “The only stuff we have is stuff itself” and JFK, who is famous for saying, “Ask not what your stuff can do for you. Ask what you can do for your stuff.”
And, of course, in the tradition of IHateTheMedia.com, which says, “Stuff it, President Obama.”
Hawaii’s new Democrat Governor Neil Abercrombie promised to find President Barack Obama’s birth certificate so that we, as a nation, could put to rest, once and for all, rumors that that he is not a U.S. citizen and therefore, fit – and “fit,” to be sure, is to be taken very loosely in any case – to serve as the Commander in Chief.
Hawaii’s new Democrat Governor Neil Abercrombie promised to find President Barack Obama’s birth certificate so that we, as a nation, could put to rest, once and for all, rumors that that he is not a U.S. citizen and therefore, fit – and “fit,” to be sure, is to be taken very loosely in any case – to serve as the Commander in Chief.
But now comes the shocking – totally shocking – news that Governor has been unable to locate that pesky original birth certificate.
Wherever could it be?
There has to be a logical explanation, right?
Well, IHateTheMedia.com to the rescue.
We’re offering Governor Abercrombie the top ten places he should look for the document.
10. It might be under the unicorn feeder, not too far from the magic money printing press that Ben Bernanke uses.
9. The certificate may have been sacrificed to the volcano gods to ensure good luck. After two years of the Obama administration, it obviously didn’t work.
8. Check under Obama’s copy of the Koran signed by Ayatollah Khomeini. The one that reads: “To Barry. Good luck on the whole Manchurian thing. Kho-money.”
7. Perhaps it’s under a stack of promises to close Gitmo.
6. May be tucked in the pages of well-annotated Community Organizing for Dummies book.
5. Have you looked in George Soros’ command bunker? Check under those stacks of Chinese yuan and the deed to Obama’s soul.
4. May have accidentally passed it out as a syllabus during short stint as Harvard lecturer.
3. Pawned for crack in 90s.
2. Hillary Clinton may have it tucked in her jock strap.
1. Kenya
– Written by Sven Waring at DotPenn.com
IHateTheMedia.com presents this exclusive, pre-release excerpt from the eagerly awaited, unauthorized bio of Presidential Obama.
IHateTheMedia.com presents this exclusive, pre-release excerpt from the eagerly awaited, unauthorized bio of Presidential Obama.
It was late in the day when Michelle came into the Oval Office.
It would probably be more accurate to say that she ‘oozed’ into the office. Michelle wore a clinging, sleeveless dinner gown that reached to the floor and hugged every curve. With her newest Wonder Bra beneath, she was a flaming siren. And she knew it.
Barack looked up from his desk as she slinked across the room and smiled. “Hi, Honey,” he said, “how’re things?”
Michelle reached his desk and leaned against it provocatively. “How do things look, Mr. President?” she purred.
“Well, things look pretty good from where I’m sitting,” said Barack. “But why are you all dressed up, Baby?”
“Oh, I just thought it would be nice if we went out to dinner tonight,” she said. She cocked her right arm and made a muscle. Barack couldn’t help but notice her bicep was bigger than his. “It’s been said that I have the right to ‘bare arms’,” said Michelle. “And maybe later, I can use them to serve dessert.” She jiggled provocatively.
“Out?” said Barack. “You mean out of the White House?”
“Yes, out of the White House,” she chuckled. “We can do that, you know.” She paused, then added, in a street-slang inflection, “You are the prez-ee-dent …”
“Uh, sure, sure,” said Barack. “But if we’re going out, maybe you should change into something a little less flamboyant, don’t you think?”
Michelle looked decidedly less than happy. “What?”
“I mean,” Barack went on, “something a little less like you’re trying to be Michelle Antoinette. You’ve heard what people are saying. Um, about your wardrobe, those $2,500-dollar gowns, you know … Just a suggestion … ”
“Are you saying I can’t dress up once in a while and go out with my husband to dinner?” Her tone had definitely dropped into the ‘frigid’ zone.
“It’s just that people are going to think we’re elitists,” hedged Barack. “Dressing fancy, going out on the town, and such.”
Michelle was having none of it. “We are elitists, Mister,” snapped Michelle. “And your stupid health care bill proves it.”
It was Barack’s turn to be shocked. “What do you mean by ‘stupid’?” he asked, his own anger aroused.
“It’s simple, my dear,” said Michelle. “This wonderful bill is going to force everyone to see doctors they don’t know, don’t believe in, and don’t want, all for the sake of your pride. And, by the way, are we going to be a part of this revolutionary health plan?”
“No, of course not,” said Barack, a bit too hastily. “I mean, we have our own executive health plan in place, and – ”
“And so does Congress,” finished Michelle nastily. “A very good plan, too. All the best, and all for free. If that’s not elitist, I don’t know what is.”
Barack had had enough. He stood up and said through gritted teeth, “Fine, let’s go out, Marie. Let’s go out. And maybe, if we’re lucky, we can find a restaurant with a good salad bar.”
Michelle whirled on him, a dangerous glint in her eyes. “Oh, a little dig against my plan for our school cafeterias, huh? Anything else you’d like to add?”
“No, I think that’s about it,” said Barack snidely.
Michelle started walking toward the door, and said over her shoulder, “Well, I have something to add. The kids and I will be going to dinner tonight. Alone.” She continued moving toward the door, then added, “And you can forget about dessert later on. You can also forget about sleeping in my bedroom tonight.”
“What?” said a perplexed Barack. “Where am I supposed to sleep, then?”
Michelle turned and glared at Barack. “This house has lots of spare bedrooms. You can sleep wherever you want. After all, you are the prez-ee-dent.” And she was gone.
Silence once again prevailed in the Oval Office. Barack expelled a breath he’d been holding for too long. Now what? he wondered. This isn’t going to be good. Then, stray thoughts began to intrude. Wait a minute. I’m going to be in my own room tonight. I can do whatever I want …
He slowly pulled his desk drawer open. The pack of Marlboros stared up at him in mute supplication.
Finally, he thought, finally.
Yesterday’s installment was, The unauthorized Obama bio, Chapter VI: “L’Affaire McChrystal.”
Copyright © 2011 IHateTheMedia.com, all rights reserved
President Obama is losing weight. No matter how many times he takes his daughters out for ice cream, he just keeps getting skinnier
President Obama is losing weight. No matter how many times he takes his daughters out for ice cream, he just keeps getting skinnier. He now has the wrists of a slender, young girl, which may help explain the way he throws a baseball.
The National Enquirer has the full skinny:
The real reason behind PRESIDENT OBAMA’s shocking weight loss – he’s secretly battling stomach parasites, say sources.
The pencil-thin president caught the parasites on a trip last year to Hawaii, where he and his family also vacationed over Christmas, according to top political insiders.
“Barack has wanted to keep the stomach parasites under the radar,” revealed a close source.
“There had been a public health warning about them in Hawaii when he caught them.”
First, consider that two years ago we had the spectacle of the media fawning over the greatest pecs in the history of the presidency when Obama strode mightily out of the Hawaiian surf. Now consider the fact that no beach photos were allowed during his last Hawaiian sojourn. His now frightening physique could explain the difference.
You learn something every day in this life, don’t you? For example, we never knew that parasites could get parasites.
Source: National Enquirer
A hat tip for the funny line goes out to our buddy who’s a DJ syndicated on about 100 radio stations from coast to coast. He couldn’t use the line on his hilarious, but non-political morning show so he sent it on to us.
A hat tip for the funny line goes out to our buddy who’s a DJ syndicated on about 150 radio stations from coast to coast. He couldn’t use the line on his hilarious, but non-political morning show so he sent it on to us.
Thanks, BC.
We just finished viewing what may very well be the most banal hour of television produced in 2010: n MSNBC special called “Joe and Mika’s Countdown to the Most Influential American in the 21st Century.”
We just finished viewing what may very well be the most banal hour of television produced in 2010, more mind-numbing than a Kardashian/Jersey Shore marathon and a full season’s worth of Olbermann Special Comments combined.
It was an MSNBC special called “Joe and Mika’s Countdown to the Most Influential American in the 21st Century.”
Do we have to tell you who the winner is? No. Of course not. With all the Obama-butt kissing that goes on at this network you have to assume that these people buy their Chapstick by the case.
Does it matter that we are only ten years into the century? No. Not to MSNBC. No matter what earthshaking events may transpire over the next ninety years they would still choose Obama, displaying the same lack of dignity and shame one expects from a Nobel Peace Prize Committee.
While it’s a certainty the overwhelming number of Americans do not agree with the network’s pick, there is one point we are confident everyone can all agree on – Mika’s legs should never been shown on TV again. Not, that is, until sometime later this year when MSNBC decides to give an award for “Worst Legs of the 21st Century.”
If you own 3-D glasses do NOT put them on before viewing the attached clip! Trust us, you don’t want to be any closer than you have to be. We call on the FCC to mandate MSNBC to require Mika to wear long pants only from now on. Or that they mandate a modesty panel be installed between Mika and the camera just in case anyone accidentally stumbles onto their network again. Good lord, man, think of the children.
Mercifully, the show lasted only one hour, at which time MSNBC programming switched over to its only show that garners decent ratings – “Lockup.”
Tonight’s episode features sex offenders, as opposed to the Mika and Joe Show, which merely featured human intelligence offenders.
WARNING: The following video clip contains graphic images that are not suitable for children nor man nor beast – Mika’s Mxyzptlk’s legs!
– Written by Sonny Palermo
IHateTheMedia.com presents another exclusive, pre-release excerpt from the eagerly awaited, unauthorized bio of Presidential Obama.
IHateTheMedia.com presents this exclusive, pre-release excerpt from the eagerly awaited, unauthorized bio of Presidential Obama.
The intercom on Barack’s desk beeped. He touched a button and said, “Yes, Katie?”
“Mr. President,” said a voice on the other end, “Reverend Wright is here to see you, sir.”
Barack smiled and said, “Thanks, Katie. Send him in, please.”
He walked over to the door as it opened for the Reverend Jeremiah Wright. He was wearing a conservative brown suit which appeared to have been tailored for someone else. It hung, it sagged, and looked almost as if the good Reverend had found it somewhere in an alley. Oh, well, thought Barack, style was never his forte.
The two men hugged briefly and Barack said, “Good to see you, Reverend. It’s been too long.”
“Wasn’t my fault,” said Wright, as he took a seat. “You the one that severed our connection.”
“It wasn’t quite like that, Jeremiah,” said Barack, trying to maintain cordiality, “we just started going to a different church.”
“Hmmf,” grunted Wright. “Just like you started denying your heritage?”
“My heritage?” said Obama, suspecting where the conversation was going. “What do you mean?”
Continue reading “The unauthorized Obama bio, Chapter XII: “Reverend Wright Has Been Wronged””
IHateTheMedia.com presents this exclusive, pre-release excerpt from the eagerly awaited, unauthorized bio of Presidential Obama. Today, our third installment.
IHateTheMedia.com presents this exclusive, pre-release excerpt from the eagerly awaited, unauthorized bio of Presidential Obama.
Vice President Joe Biden was already in the Oval Office waiting for the President when Barack opened the door and came in.
As Barack walked toward his desk, he couldn’t help but note that Joe seemed somewhat nervous, and that he was holding a sheet of paper in his hand. In fact, Joe seemed more afloat than usual, and was having no success in concealing it.
Barack settled behind his desk and said, “Have a seat, Joe. What’s up?”
Joe sat down and waved the sheet of paper in front of him. “B, have you heard about this ‘birther’ thing that’s going around?”
Oh, God, thought Barack, Joe’s finally found out. He sighed. Oh, well, let’s see where this goes.
“Why, yes, Joe, I have. Yet another Republican ploy designed to subvert my credibility. It really bothers them that a black man is in the White House, you know. Everyone thought Hilary was going to be sitting here, and they just can’t take it. Hence, this whole ‘birther’ thing.” He smiled at Joe, benignly.
Joe still seemed antsy, out of character with his usual go-for-broke, uninformed, headlong, hell-with-the-facts instincts. He reached up to scratch a niggling hair implant.
IHateTheMedia.com presents this exclusive, pre-release excerpt from the eagerly awaited, unauthorized bio of Presidential Obama. Second Excerpt.
IHateTheMedia.com presents this exclusive, pre-release excerpt from the eagerly awaited, unauthorized bio of Presidential Obama.
Barack was worn out, emotionally. What he had just had to do was painful, possibly the most excruciating thing he had done since taking office. He was convinced that it was necessary, but that didn’t make it feel any better.
He sighed and looked through the papers on his desk. What next? he thought. What should I dive into now? I have a little time to myself before the next meeting, and maybe I can get started on –
Just then, there was a knock on the door, it opened, and a voice said, “Hey, B, it’s me.” Joe Biden trotted into the Oval Office, obviously in a great mood, and grinning broadly.
Joe sat down in a chair facing Barack and said, “I just passed General McChrystal in the hall on the way here. What a great guy. A real soldier’s soldier. A man’s man. You know, I just feel good knowing that he’s in charge in Afghanistan. I have this feeling that he’s gonna work out just fine.” Joe beamed at Barack, expecting the President to bolster his own take on things.
Barack looked at the Vice President and said quietly, “I just fired General McChrystal, Joe.”
For a moment, Joe thought that he had been stabbed with an electric cattle prod. He felt somehow adrift, even more so than usual, and didn’t quite know how to react.
Finally, he pulled himself together enough to ask, “But why, B? He’s a great general.”
“That may very well be, Joe,” replied Barack, “but his attitude is wanting. Did you read his recent interview in Rolling Stone, by any chance?”
“Uh, no, haven’t had the chance to read much lately, you know, what with the duties of being Vice President and all –”
Continue reading “EXCLUSIVE: The unauthorized Obama bio, Chapter VI: “L’Affaire McChrystal””
When asked about the numerous outbursts of applause during President Obama’s speech at the Tucson memorial service, Press Secretary Roert Gibbs claimed on Thursday that they were a complete surprise to the good folks in the White House.
UPDATE: What do you think? Is the “Applause” indicator in this image a prompt for the audience or is it closed captioning for the hearing impaired?
Now that so many people have brought up the second possibility, we not sure. Either way the question remains: Why were people applauding at a memorial service?
That leaves us with two options: Either the prompt was horribly inappropriate or the audience was horribly inappropriate. Take your choice.
If it turns out to be closed captioning, we apologize to Robert Gibbs. If it turns out to be an applause prompt, we apologize to the friends and families of the victims on behalf of the audience.
When asked about the numerous outbursts of applause during President Obama’s speech at the Tucson memorial service, Press Secretary Roert Gibbs claimed on Thursday that they were a complete surprise to the good folks in the White House.
“I will say that I read the speech several times and thought that there wouldn’t be a lot of applause if any. I think many of us thought that. But I think there was a celebration, again, of the lives of those who had been impacted. Not just at that grocery store but throughout the country. And I think that, if that is part of the healing process, then that’s a good thing.”
But this photo shows the crowd was responding to built-in applause instructions. Kind of like when Oprah’s audience goes wild at her every word.
In the words of White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, “Who you gonna believe – me or your lying eyes?”
Excuse our incredulity, Robert, but if you read the script you saw the “Pause for applause” instructions scattered throughout. Couldn’t have missed them.
In the words of Judge Judy, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.”
Source: Associated Press
H/T: Gateway Pundit
IHateTheMedia.com presents this exclusive, pre-release excerpt from the eagerly awaited, unauthorized bio of President Obama.
IHateTheMedia.com presents this exclusive, pre-release excerpt from the eagerly awaited, unauthorized biography of President Obama.
It had been a long day, and it was only mid-afternoon.
Barack settled into the chair behind his desk and slowly exhaled. He was finally alone in the Oval Office, all by himself, with no hangers-on, nothing to sign, no meetings to attend. With luck, he might have a few minutes just to himself. He actually started to relax just a bit.
There was a knock at the door, it opened, and a voice said, “Hey, B! How’s it hangin’?” And Joe Biden walked in.
Oh, God, thought Barack, it’s Ramblin’ Joe. Mentally, he steeled himself against the inevitable, smiled, and said, “Hi, Joe. How’s your day going?”
Without being invited, Joe plopped himself down in a chair facing the Presidential desk. His hair implants were bothering him, and he’d had a tough morning attempting, with no luck, to charm several gaggles of White House reporters.
“Oh, you know, the usual bullshit. Trying to look presidential and all that, even in the face of some people’s overwhelming stupidity. You know what that’s like.”
Barack looked at Joe for a moment, then said, “Yes, Joe, I know exactly what that’s like.”
“Hey, B,” Joe said, “I heard that you were thinking about repealing the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ rule for the armed forces. Is that true?”
Continue reading “EXCLUSIVE: The unauthorized Obama bio, Chapter III: “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell””
ederal agents took down a large-scale Ecstasy dealer last month. And the undercover federal agent was very specific about what he wanted from that dealer: 150,000 extra thick tablets. They had to be yellow. And they had to carry the “Obama” logo.
Federal agents took down a large-scale Ecstasy dealer last month. And the undercover federal agent was very specific about what he wanted from that dealer: 150,000 extra thick tablets. They had to be yellow. And they had to carry the “Obama” logo.
Yes, you read that correctly. Some Presidents get their faces on stamps, some get them on coins, some get them on mountain sides, but President Obama gets his on illegal party drugs.
The Smoking Gun reports the party drug particulars:
While law enforcement agents have previously seized Ecstasy pills bearing the president’s likeness from street level dealers, this appears to be the first time that a federal undercover operation specifically sought out Obama-branded narcotics from a suspected large-scale trafficker.
The ICE probe resulted in the arrest of several men, including Harjinder Brar, who pleaded guilty last month to a felony drug conspiracy charge. Agents seized 84 pounds of Ecstasy when they busted Brar and another man at the Starbucks in Bellingham. The pills, recovered from a van, were found in 26 heat-sealed plastic bags, according to investigators.
Now you might as yourself, as we did, what Ecstasy does and why drug dealers would choose to stamp President Obama’s face on illegal party drugs.
EcstasyEffects.com reports the side effects of the popular party drug:
Psychological Ecstasy side effects, including confusion, depression, sleep problems, drug craving, severe anxiety, and paranoia – during and sometimes weeks after taking Ecstasy.
Physical Ecstasy side effects brought on by use of the drug include muscle tension, involuntary teeth clenching, nausea, blurred vision, rapid eye movement, faintness, and chills or sweating. Increases in heart rate and blood pressure can also be experienced by Ecstasy users…
It all makes sense now. Those are exactly the same symptoms we’ve felt since January 20, 2009.
Source: TheSmokingGun.com, EcstasyEffects.com
Eat your heart out, Wikileaks. Each day next week, IHateTheMedia.com will release one excerpt from the new, unauthorized Obama biography.
Eat your heart out, Wikileaks. Each day next week, IHateTheMedia.com will release one excerpt from the new, unauthorized Obama biography.
Washington, DC is abuzz thanks to this anonymously-penned material and the revealing portraits it paints of many prominent political figures.
The New York Times doesn’t have it. The Washington Post doesn’t have it.The Wall Street Journal doesn’t have it. The Huffington Post doesn’t have it.
Don’t miss it. Excerpts begin on Monday. Exclusively here at IHateTheMedia.com.
Oh, sure, now he tells us. Evan Thomas, who once waxed poetically about Barack Obama being god-like, has lost his religion. Cover your ears, because his words are blasphemous.
Oh, sure, now he tells us. Evan Thomas, who once waxed poetically about Barack Obama being god-like, has lost his religion. Cover your ears, because his words are blasphemous.
The Daily Caller has the undeified details:
Newsweek columnist Evan Thomas, once an editor at the magazine with a long track record of having liberal positions (even once having likened President Barack Obama to a deity), noted the modest improvement in the unemployment number reported on Friday. However, nearly a year after Obamacare was passed and signed into law, he admitted Republicans were right for voicing their opposition of it.
“It ain’t because of Congress,” Thomas said. “The unemployment will go down a little bit but the game in Washington will still be this unreal game. Health care though – I got to say, is one place where I think where Republicans are right.”
Back in November 2009, Thomas admitted the health care reform bill had flaws, but still voiced his support for it. Now he has proclaimed it a failure.
“The health care bill is a disaster,” Thomas continued. “We’re sort of slowly learning – it’s not working. It’s interesting – they’re implementing it and it’s not working out at all as people anticipated. There’s all sorts of wildly wrong projections. As it’s being practiced – it’s failed.”
As we used to say when we were kids, “No shit, Sherlock. Where’d you get your first clue?”
Source: Daily Caller
How can this be? There was a crisis in Tucson and the Democrats have done everything they can think of to exploit it and they lose ground in the polls. We repeat, HOW CAN THIS BE???????
How can this be? There was a crisis in Tucson and the Democrats have done everything they can think of to exploit it and they lose ground in the polls. We repeat, HOW CAN THIS BE???????
Rasmussen explains the latest numbers:
Republicans hold an 11-point lead over Democrats on the Generic Congressional Ballot for the week ending January 9, 2011. That’s up one point from last week and six points from the week before. It’s the widest gap between the two parties since right before Election Day.
New Rasmussen Reports telephone polling finds that 47% of Likely U.S. Voters nationwide say they would vote for their district’s Republican congressional candidate, while 36% would choose the Democrat instead.
Last week, Republicans posted a similar 45% to 35% lead over the Democrats. The week before the election, support for Republicans peaked at 51%, the highest level of support either party has enjoyed in the last two years but has tapered off since then.
This survey included just a couple days of post-Tucson massacre madness. It will be very interesting to see what Rasmussen’s next poll shows.
Source: Rasmussen
Those may not be verbatim quotes, but they’re close enough. After two years it appears that damn near everything is above the President’s pay grade.
Those may not be verbatim quotes, but they’re close enough. After two years it appears that damn near everything is above the President’s pay grade.
Politico reports the latest incident of the President voting present:
After reading his prepared remarks on the economy at a window manufacturer on Friday, President Obama sought to take some photos with workers when a pool reporter caught up with him and asked him to explain the connection between the drop in the unemployment rate and the lower-than-expected number of jobs added in December.
Obama’s response, according to the pool:
“You know, you’ve got to talk to Austan Goolsbee. That’s his job.”
Obama then posed for some photos.
Ok, well, at least he knows what he’s good at.
Source: Politico.com
While decoding old Civil War messages is fine and dandy, the highly-trained cryptologists at IHateTheMedia.com have spent thousands of man-hours working on a batch of more recent messages.
A small glass bottle had been in a Vicksburg, Mississippi museum since 1896. It was opened recently and the handwritten message inside was finally decoded by the CIA.
The Telegraph UK has the details:
The glass vial stopped with a cork contained a coded missive to Lt Gen John C Pemberton, who was besieged in the Mississippi city by Union forces led by Ulysses S Grant.
After nearly six weeks people in Vicksburg had resorted to eating cats, dogs and leather, and making soup from wallpaper paste.
The encrypted, six line message was dated July 4, 1863, the date of Pemberton’s surrender, and would have offered no hope to him. It said: “You can expect no help from this side of the river.”
The source of the message is thought to have been Maj Gen John G. Walker, of the Texas Division.
Pemberton had also held out hope that General Joseph E Johnston, and his 32,000 Confederate troops camped south of Vicksburg, would eventually come to his aid, but Walker’s message made clear that was not going to happen.
While decoding old Civil War messages is fine and dandy, the highly-trained cryptologists at IHateTheMedia.com have spent thousands of man-hours working on a batch of more recent messages. We are proud to announce that we have broken the complex code in which they were written.
Social scientists believe the original messages were written by Barry Soetoro, a Kenyan-born double agent, to his evil Hungarian overlord, George Soros.
Original messaage/decoded message
“Hope and change.” “I have no real experience, so this meaningless froth will have to do.”
“Smart power.” “Weak power.”
“I will close Guantanamo.” “I will not close Guantanamo.”
“I will pull the troops out of Iraq within 16 months.” “Except the ones I don’t.”
“I will repeal the Bush tax cuts for people earning $250,000 a year or more.” “I will be in favor of income redistribution until I’m against it.”
“The more people get to know about my national healthcare plan, the more they will love it.” “It will be more popular than gonorrhea, but less popular than genital warts.”
“No more earmarks.” “More earmarks.”
“No more lobbyists in the White House.” “Ignore the word ‘more.’”
“I will secure the Borders.” “And then I will secure the Barnes & Noble.”
“All bills will be posted online for five days so that people can see what is in them.” “On second thought, it’s just a whole bunch of boring legalese, so why bother?”
“I will create 5,000,000 green jobs.” “No one actually knows what a green job is, so maybe I’ll change that to 10,000,000.”
“I will negotiate with our enemies with no preconditions.” “I’m bending over. Be gentle, Mahmoud.”
“I will begin a new relationship with the Muslim world.” “How low should I bow to the King of Saudi Arabia?”
Source: Telegraph UK
President Obama gave that dandy speech in Cairo. He promised that relations with the Muslim world would be cozier than Barney Frank in a bathhouse. And we’re pretty sure he said he’d usher in an era of dancing girls for us and dancing boys for the Afghanis.
But … but … but … President Obama gave that dandy speech in Cairo. He promised that relations with the Muslim world would be cozier than Barney Frank in a bathhouse. And we’re pretty sure he said he’d usher in an era of dancing girls for us and dancing boys for the Afghanis.
Hmmm. If that’s the case, then why is Afghan President Hamid Karzai pining away for the good ol’ days of the Bush administration?
The Huffington Post has the details of Hamid’s heartbreak:
Longing for the early years of the Bush administration, Afghan President Hamid Karzai has been consumed by anti-U.S. conspiracy theories, convinced American officials are now working against him, according to a diplomatic cable from the U.S. ambassador to Afghanistan.
The cable was sent in July 2009, which would become the deadliest month for foreign troops since the 2001 invasion. The surge in casualties resulted from an offensive to oust the Taliban in opium-rich Helmand Province, as well as the increasing power of roadside bombs. On July 7, when Amb. Karl Eikenberry met with Karzai, the Afghan president was looking backward rather than forward, wistfully longing for the early days of the Bush administration, which he referred to as a “golden age.”
“Karzai then returned to a familiar theme, his wish for Afghan-U.S. relations to recover the spirit of 2002-04 — a period Karzai sees as a ‘golden age’ in the relationship,” wrote Eikenberry in a July 16 cable obtained by WikiLeaks and published by The New York Times. “He would like for U.S. forces to again be able to drive their humvees through villages, greeted warmly by villagers who would shout, ‘Good morning, Sergeant Thompson.’ Karzai claimed, as he has many times, that his concern over the erosion of public trust in the U.S. was a driving factor in his increasingly strident criticism regarding civilian casualties, night raids and detentions.”
But … but … but … how can this be? Muslims hated Bush. They hated America. They hated the Great Satan worse than anything but Israel.
Why if we didn’t know better we might think the media had misled us.
Source: Huffingon Post
Barack Obama is alarmed – alarmed, we tell you – that Pakistan is treating Taliban prisoners harshly instead of giving them all the rights they’re guaranteed under the American constitution.
Hello. Knock, knock, knock. Earth to President Obama. Apparently the Commander In Chief’s experience with Gitmo prisoners was not enough to teach him any real world lessons.
Now he is alarmed – alarmed, we tell you – that Pakistan is treating Taliban prisoners harshly instead of giving them all the rights they’re guaranteed under the American constitution.
The New York Times has the news of the constitutional scholar’s dismay:
The Obama administration is expressing alarm over reports that thousands of political separatists and captured Taliban insurgents have disappeared into the hands of Pakistan’s police and security forces, and that some may have been tortured or killed.
The issue came up in a State Department report to Congress last month that urged Pakistan to address this and other human rights abuses. It threatens to become the latest source of friction in the often tense relationship between the wartime allies.
The concern is over a steady stream of accounts from human rights groups that Pakistan’s security services have rounded up thousands of people over the past decade, mainly in Baluchistan, a vast and restive province far from the fight with the Taliban, and are holding them incommunicado without charges. Some American officials think that the Pakistanis have used the pretext of war to imprison members of the Baluch nationalist opposition that has fought for generations to separate from Pakistan. Some of the so-called disappeared are guerrillas; others are civilians.
“Hundreds of cases are pending in the courts and remain unresolved,” said the Congressionally mandated report that the State Department sent to Capitol Hill on Nov. 23. A Congressional official provided a copy of the eight-page, unclassified document to The New York Times.
Separately, the report also described concerns that the Pakistani military had killed unarmed members of the Taliban, rather than put them on trial.
They killed members of the Taliban rather than put them on trial? Quick. Some alert Eric Holder.
Source: New York Times
President Obama called the owner of the NFL’s Philadelphia Eagles and thanked him for giving convicted felon Michael Vick a second chance. That pissed off Megyn Kelly.
President Obama called the owner of the NFL’s Philadelphia Eagles and thanked him for giving convicted felon Michael Vick a second chance.
That pissed off Megyn Kelly. And she didn’t try to hide it when she spoke to a representative of the NAACP who attempted to defend Vick.
Love you, Megyn. (Please don’t get another restraining order. We promise to stay 100 yards away this time.)
H/T: Breitbart.tv
Here’s a simple, but brilliant theory that if true would be far more damaging to Barack Obama than the theory that he was born in Kenya.
This is good. This is really good. This is one of those things you hear for the first time and say, “Of course. That has to be the answer.”
We’re not birthers. Sure, we joke around about it, but we think Barack Obama was probably born in Hawaii. Far as we’re concerned, it makes no sense that some grand conspiracy to put him in the White House was put in motion on the day he was born in Kenya.
So if he was born in Hawaii, why doesn’t he release his original birth certificate? Even liberal lunatic Chris Matthews recently said, “Just release the damn thing, Mr. President, and shut up these birthers.”
A caller on Tim Conway, Jr’s radio show on KFI/Los Angeles Tuesday night suggested a simple, but brilliant theory that if true would be far more damaging to Barack Obama than the theory that he was born in Kenya. It goes like this:
Interracial marriage was still frowned upon even in racially-mixed Hawaii back in 1961 when Barack Obama was born.
So the reason – the simple, logical reason – that Obama won’t reveal his original birth certificate is because he is listed as white on that document. Perhaps it was his mother who checked the “White” box on the form. Or maybe the attending physician looked at the new baby, looked at his mother and said, “Baby mama white. Baby must be white” and entered that information.
This is a good one, isn’t it? It’s simple, logical and it explains Obama’s reticence to release the original birth certificate. After all, being officially designated as white would be the most devastating thing that could possibly happen to his political career. The only reason he got elected President is because, as Joe Biden said, “He’s a clean, good-looking, articulate black man.” (Don’t blame us, blame Joe.) The moment he’s seen as white, BAM!, he loses his cachet, his point of difference, his raison d’être in the sun, so to speak.
When Conway’s listener explained this theory, Mrs Editor and I looked at each other and laughed out loud and agreed that it makes so much sense that it may well be true.
By the way, you can catch Tim Conway’s show on the internet or if you’re in Southern California on KFI 640 7 -10 p.m. Monday through Friday.”
Once again, no prizes other than the self-satisfaction you’ll get from posting the funniest caption for this inexplicable photo of President Obama.
Once again, no prizes other than the self-satisfaction you’ll get from posting the funniest caption for this inexplicable photo of President Obama.
Only one rule: Make ’em funny or we’ll send the Administrator over to your house to force you to watch Ed Schultz on MSNBC.
