University to teach 800 faculty members how to use HOCKEY PUCKS to thwart active shooters. So if they hit the shooter between the eyes, do they yell “GOAL!”?

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RedRightBlonde
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RedRightBlonde

Unless faculty is provided holsters, so they are constantly “pucking” this is the STUPIDEST “pucking” idea yet.

sifi
Member
sifi

You’re right. If they really give a puck, it needs to be available all the pucking time.

flashingscotsman
Member

I’m sure Don Rickles would have something to say about this, but I can’t figure out what.

whiskeyriver
Member
whiskeyriver

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whiskeyriver
Member
whiskeyriver

LMOAO…What if they throw like Obama before they get their ass shot off?

https://youtu.be/K-Tart58c7E

sifi
Member
sifi

Seems to me used golf balls would be more plentiful, cheaper, and easier to throw. But then you still have the disadvantage of an inadequate weapon compared to a gun.

JPTravis
Member

Even better: golf clubs. Just ask Tiger Woods.

sifi
Member
sifi

I’m sure he would agree.
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MGAP
Member
MGAP

Golf balls ricochet. The class would wind up killing half of themselves in the process.

JPTravis
Member

How do you kill half of yourself?

whiskeyriver
Member
whiskeyriver

This one did a good job, her brain died long ago.

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Zezozose
Member
Zezozose

They would be deadly if they could throw the hockey pucks as well as they throw tantrums.

Not so silent
Member
Not so silent

Snowflakes are just plain Pucking stupid, and their colleges have now met their goal, to make the students goalies for lead…Good God….

deepthinker
Member
deepthinker

Stupid is as stupid does. Throw hard plastic at someone who is sending out hot lead toward you and others. That makes so much sense.

Will each room and facility member be issued a bucket of ice to ensure that the pucks remain at the ideal cold level? I’ve seen most of the facility members at the universities in this area. Not one of them have the ability to throw anything that will stop an active shooter. Most of them are great at throwing fits and temper tantrums though. Let us see how that works out.

Aim small, miss small.

Zezozose
Member
Zezozose

What? Were rocks too expensive?

JPTravis
Member

Rocks were considered sexist, being as how they are, you know, stones.

whiskeyriver
Member
whiskeyriver

Which is why they will not be given base”balls”.

flashingscotsman
Member

Or bats.

Joe Redfield
Member
Joe Redfield

The National Hockey Puck Association is just another right-wing terrorist group.

Jim Stewart
Member
Jim Stewart

So if I hit someone in the face with a puck does that mean I get a two minute time out? It seems awfully aggressive. /s

deepthinker
Member
deepthinker

Go with the high sticking, that works better.

sifi
Member
sifi

You never bring a hockey puck to a gun fight. What the puck are they thinking.

MGAP
Member
MGAP

I ce what you did there….

JPTravis
Member

I’m surprised you don’t understand. Clearly the goal is to net themselves a terrorist or two.

deepthinker
Member
deepthinker

Or to hit the cross bar at the nose level.

Jim Stewart
Member
Jim Stewart

Oh oh. The pun tradition on IHTM continues…. JP, be careful, you don’t want to ISIS the puck as you net those terrorists.

JPTravis
Member

Puns? I think intellectual discussion of the topic is the goalie here.

MGAP
Member
MGAP

I know so little about hockey, that I should stick to genital puns. Howe does everyone feel about that?

sifi
Member
sifi

Sodomy

JPTravis
Member

Orr, you could just not do puns at all.

MGAP
Member
MGAP

What would I want to do that four?

JPTravis
Member

Wait, time out, how is “four” a hockey pun?

MGAP
Member
MGAP

It wasn’t the great one I had in mind, but it really wasn’t that bad.

sifi
Member
sifi

Devils usually in the details.

whiskeyriver
Member
whiskeyriver

You guys are skating on thin ice.

MGAP
Member
MGAP

Who doesn’t love a little slapstick?