"I knew Santino the chimp. Santino the chimp was a friend of mine. Mr. President, you're no Santino the chimp."
Last month, the New York Post and one of its cartoonists caught holy hell. All because Al Sharpton and his racemongering posse decided the paper’s infamous “chimpanzee” cartoon intentionally compared Obama to a chimp.
Now Swedish animal behaviorists have conducted a study that proves our President is absolutely nothing like a chimpanzee.
According to a report in Current Biology, Santino, a 31-year-old alpha male chimpanzee in a Swedish zoo starts each day by collecting rocks inside his enclosure. Around midday he begins hurling those rocks from his weapons cache at human visitors who have gathered outside his enclosure.
We have analyzed this study in great depth and determined that Al Sharpton is correct. It is offensive to compare the President to a chimp for the following reasons:
Unlike President Obama, the chimp developed a clear plan and followed it.
Unlike President Obama, the chimp knows he must save his assets and not throw them away all at once.
Unlike President Obama, the chimp believes in stockpiling weapons to use against his enemies.
Unlike President Obama, the chimp is dedicated to defending his homeland.
Unlike President Obama, the chimp didn’t announce that he wanted to negotiate with any of the “moderate” humans who hold him captive.
Unlike President Obama, the chimp hasn’t announced that he will stop throwing rocks in 19 months.
And finally, unlike President Obama, the chimp didn’t demand that the rich gorillas in the next cage share their rocks with him.
We don’t like to brag on ourselves at IHateTheMedia.com, but it’s rare to find one website that is able to analyze science and political science in such a deep, meaningful way and explain it so clearly to the masses.
SOURCE: Associated Press
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I bow to the geniuses at Ihatethemedia – your in depth analysis, and compare/contrast is breathtaking in its simplicity, truth and beauty. Thank you, thank you, thank you. May I use your presentation.
This was so great, thanks for the grins!
You may, DeeMac. Just link to us, if you would.
We appreciate your insightful comment.
Consider the link a done deal. Do I hear the locals beginning to beat a path to Ihatethemedia.com? It is on my favorites link toolbar.
Now that was well done!
That’s so funny. At least to the to the imbeciles (like DeeMac) that you generally cater your pathetic foaming drivel to.
You should be grateful that the real chimp’s clock has run out. End times are now rescheduled, hopefully.
Stay tuned, though. he’ll be back in the news soon enough. In stripes.
I hear stripes are going to big, really big next year.
When do you right-wing assholes just start calling him a f*cking n*gger like you so deeply desire to do?
Always interesting to hear the comments from other porch monkeys
who were obviously raised on the same side of the tracks as Mr. ” O “
Gord, Calm down already. Your man won, you are getting all of the policy you want, the bills are coming out of the capital at a dizzying rate. Let us have a little fun. Jeez, it’s not like you all had nice things to say about Bush. Oh, and I believe Bush was compared to simians over 200,000 times. And I wonder where you came up with the epithet toward BHO that you credit to me and other’s who disagree with you. Gord, I don’t use language like that when speaking of the president – but I sure heard lots of nasty words hurled at the last one.
That said, I still think the above article is a hoot.
*snicker* *chuckle* *guffaw!* *send link to every linker I know*
I especially like the caption. Too bad you couldn’t get it on icanhascheezburger, lefties that they are.
Gord, we don’t use that word, and I don’t know anyone who does except (liberal) rappers and (liberal) comedians and a certain democrat senator who used to be a leader in the KKK.
And I can only assume that with what you said that in your comment, you believe we are calling the president a chimp, or comparing him to one. Your anger has destroyed your sense of humor, and you have missed the entire point of the article. No, we were not comparing, rather, we were contrasting. Big difference.
I’m sorry I had to remove your next three of four comments, but Good Lord Gord, we don’t like that type of language here. If you’d like to try again sometime, but can hold bad on all the disgusting language, let us know.
Administrator, Thanks for keeping this a classy joint I can invite my friends to.
So much humor, so little time.
Where are the people who referred to Bush as a chimp, Hitler, the devil, and too many other humorous names to recall.
I just don’t get it. The liberals, the left-wing, the Nazis (aka socialists) — don’t deny your heritage — have won, and now they lose their sense of humor. What happened? Why the sad faces?
When did it become unpopular to criticize, or be critical of, our public servants? For the longest time, this has been THE American pastime. Well, at least for the left-wing.
It’s also telling that the left-wing identified with the chimp before anyone else. Truly an intelligent lot. Although, according to the left, the chimps and humans have common ancestry, a common evolutionary path. Once again, they deny their heritage. I for one agree with them, and do not believe in this unsubstantiated claim. I would much prefer to have common ancestry with the wiley fox, or the daring mongoose, or, perhaps, the wise owl.