Top 12 reasons to vote Democrat. We’re deviating from the norm as this is too good to not post. Unknown author, but we’d sure like to know the person who came up with it.

“When your family or friends cannot explain why they voted democrat, give them this list and they can pick a reason from this “TOP 12″.

12.  I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.

11.  I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

10.  I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

9.  I voted Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

8.  I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius.

7.  I voted Democrat because I’m not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

6.  I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away the social security from those who paid into it.

5.  I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.

4.  I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

3.  I voted Democrat because I think that it’s better to pay billions to people who hate us for their oil, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish.

2.  I voted Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I was promised “HOPE AND CHANGE”.

And, finally, the No. 1 reason to vote Democrat:

1.  I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my rectal cavity, it’s unlikely that I’ll ever have another point of view.”

{ 50 comments… read them below or add one }

Ruben February 21, 2012 at 11:16 am

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Yep… that just about covers it.

jukin February 21, 2012 at 11:32 am

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I voted Democrat because I believe that you have to borrow money and spend it to avoid going bankrupt.

I voted Democrat because I believe that 1+1=POTATO.

jukin February 22, 2012 at 10:43 am

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I voted Democrat because I believe that because I refuse to learn from history.

Omar February 22, 2012 at 5:43 pm

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I voted democrat because somebody somewhere is making a profit, dammit.

poppajoe49 February 22, 2012 at 5:53 pm

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Yep, gotta put a stop to that!

FormerlyDeanH February 21, 2012 at 11:35 am

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I voted democrat because its democratic.

MGAP February 21, 2012 at 11:56 am

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I have eleventy reasons for voting democrat. I won’t waste my time explaining them because you are too stupid to understand enlightened thinking.

Anonymous March 20, 2012 at 5:11 pm

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Eleventy reasons? Is elevanty even a word?

flashingscotsman March 20, 2012 at 9:34 pm

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Never mind.

Maybe it was actually threlve billion.

ooddballz February 21, 2012 at 12:02 pm

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Vote democrat, a lobotomy is a terrible thing to waste.

Bonfire of the Absurdities February 21, 2012 at 12:17 pm

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I voted Democrat because it’s raaaaacist to do otherwise.

andre February 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

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And ultimately …

I voted Democrat, and I read your reasons and can not for the life of me figure out why you seem to have a problem with them.

Oh yeah, another comment:

In re: #10 – yes that is true in most cases. Except when something we say offends the right, in which case our freedom of speech is infinite, and you should just get over it. And “say” includes just about every verb a human can engage in.

FormerlyDeanH February 21, 2012 at 2:27 pm

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Well, either a bunch of peeps here missed your significant sarcasm, or I missed your reality!

flashingscotsman February 21, 2012 at 7:49 pm

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I think that somehow the sarcasm was missed.

poppajoe49 February 22, 2012 at 6:20 am

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Absolutely, or they thought that was Alien instead of Andre.

Alien February 22, 2012 at 9:30 am

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but i’m a caps guy now, with handy avatar..
i think it was some dude named “Allen” who finally triggered me to go gravatar

My only beef here is that this is a cartoon version of dems. In war, we all know you should Know your Enemy (not some cartoon version of your Enemy). Also, amongst this foe, something like 30-40% own guns or have them in household, so #9 is immediately sketchy

I’d close with a similar list aimed at Republicans, which looks just as ridiculous to me, but you’ll think i believe it (and I know Republicans aren’t all bigots, nor want to breathe toxic air, etc..)

poppajoe49 February 22, 2012 at 3:48 pm

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See, you have a reasonable streak in you!

Alien February 22, 2012 at 4:12 pm

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I have this sense that there’s a vast middle out there, and it can fix things. But the extremes of partisan interests collude to keep them unaware

Sidekick February 22, 2012 at 4:38 pm

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I used to think that was true.

flashingscotsman February 22, 2012 at 6:49 pm

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The middle elected Obama. Not showing much smarts.

andre February 22, 2012 at 4:31 pm

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major sarcasm miss.

The point is that many dems would look at that list and the answer to pretty much every point would be “yes, that’s right. And I see nothing wrong with that”

PsychoDad February 21, 2012 at 2:12 pm

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“can not for the life of me figure out why you seem to have a problem with them.”

Isn’t it sad when cousins marry?

democratNON February 21, 2012 at 4:10 pm

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democratNON
CLOSE cousins!

Alien February 21, 2012 at 2:41 pm

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Partisan b.s.

scrap both parties and start over

Notsosilent February 21, 2012 at 6:23 pm

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The number one reason is all you really need to know, it is proven here day and day out by trolls who have their heads in the region of the body that allows them to see the entire digestion process…..And it can never be removed least you violate the religious order of the brothers and sisters of headupassliberals

Progressive Hemrrhoid February 21, 2012 at 7:31 pm

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They forgot one, “I voted Democrat because some other Democrat promised I could get it for free” if I voted for their sorry ass

flashingscotsman February 21, 2012 at 8:01 pm

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I can’t find d). All of the above.

Neo-7 February 22, 2012 at 3:43 am

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I vote Democrat because I’m a puppet and the devil made me do it .

They call it the evil party for a reason . They get their power from a higher power .

poppajoe49 February 22, 2012 at 6:23 am

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I voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine, as long as it’s Spanish or Farsi.

thesturs February 22, 2012 at 7:31 pm
flashingscotsman February 26, 2012 at 3:03 pm

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There’s plenty of reasons why I would rather not be forced to vote for Republicans to keep Democrats out of office, but you list didn’t mention any of them. All your reasons were ignorant BS.

Elcotopo February 26, 2012 at 2:24 am

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I voted Democratic last time because the other parties can not put a decent opponent against them. Heres the deal “They are all crooks and you have to decide which sleezbag you would rather see in office” As soon as either party put someone on the ballot that is not a career politician, who wants real change in Washington, who is not rich from stealing money from hard working Americans either through political contributions or shady bank and stock robberies I will vote for that canidate. The fact is that will never happen because neither party will nominate someone good for America they only want whats good for their party. All you politicians are crooks and need to be in jail with all the bankers and lawyers

Sidekick February 26, 2012 at 4:13 am

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If you really believe what you say is true about politicians, then you should not vote at all. You are perpetuating criminal activity using your logic.

Elcotopo February 26, 2012 at 11:00 pm

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i do believe it and have not voted since there was a canidate who was worth voting for but at that time it was a democrat, I dont vote by party I vote by who I think is best to lead but when there is no option worth voting for then its up to you people the whiners and fools to vote on the crook you want in office my conscience will be clear on judgement day as i did not support none of the crooks that were presented as the only options

poppajoe49 February 27, 2012 at 6:12 am

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Oh, so you’re one of the fools that don’t vote in protest, so your voice is never heard.
So tell us Mr genius, who was the last person you voted for, Carter?

Kip Hooker February 26, 2012 at 6:31 am

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Because you don’t like voting for the crook, sleazebag, career politician you voted for the crook, sleazebag, career politician?? I don’t think you’ve given this sufficient thought.

Elcotopo February 26, 2012 at 10:56 pm

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no i did not vote in the last election as there were no canidates worth voting for I leave it to you douchbags to put the crooks in office as my vote doesnt count anyway, Put a honest person on the ballot and I’ll vote again until then you vote and you whine over the reults

Elcotopo February 26, 2012 at 11:11 pm

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you would be wrong i kept my vote in the last 3 elections as there were no qualified or competent people running, my comment was the last time i voted it was democratic not i voted democrat in the last election. When no canidate that i would put my good name behind is presented then i leave it to you people the “moral Majority” thats an oximoron as from what i read and hear on the news the morals are gone from society anyway but back to the point you elect them and then whine and cry because what they do put forth some people who want good things for AMERICA not their party and I’ll vote for your canidate until then keep whining and blogging your hate because that wht you do and those are the people you elect to office

flashingscotsman March 20, 2012 at 9:36 pm

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You don’t get to save them up unless you live in Chicago.

poppajoe49 February 26, 2012 at 12:32 pm

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You just contradicted yourself.
You voted for the worst sleazebag politician to come down the pike since “Boss” Tweed!

flashingscotsman February 26, 2012 at 4:58 pm

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There ARE other parties. They just don’t get the attention, because their candidates aren’t sleazy enough to garner the attention. I’m a Libertarian, but I usually have to vote for the Republican, because the Democrat is ten times worse. Except for the Presidential race, where my vote doesn’t count at all because of the Electoral College.

Elcotopo February 26, 2012 at 10:53 pm

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i didnt say i voted for Obama i just stated I voted democratic last time I voted

poppajoe49 February 27, 2012 at 6:13 am

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So then my comment stands true.

Elcotopo February 26, 2012 at 11:21 pm

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Poppajoe while I like the Harley I did not vote for that person we have in the white house you read what you wanted to read out of my comment. I stated that the last time i voted I voted Democrat and that was many years ago because the politicians put forth in the last few election I would not support democrat or Republican they have all sucked and are not worth my vote. I dont whine or cry cause I didnt vote when left with the options presented in modern day politics I choose to not vote that way i am not wrong either way as I didnt help or hinder a canidate who is not worth my vote. I dont vote just to vote if there is no viable option then I dont vote i let you people who must vote no matter what your presented with decide and then watch and laugh my 1 vote doesent matter and neither do my crys as the politicians dont care about the American People they care about their party and their causes and vote and make laws to make themselves money not for the betterment of the Union. They are all crooks and none of them should be voted for but keep voting by party and keep whining cause thats what makes your party happy!

flashingscotsman March 20, 2012 at 9:39 pm

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I’m pretty certain that the last person you voted for was an idiot, though. You already admitted it was a Democrat.

Elcotopo February 26, 2012 at 10:52 pm

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i didnt say i voted for Obama I said the last time I vote it was democratic it was Clinton not Obama

Sidekick February 27, 2012 at 4:40 am

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Okay, so you’ve regaled us with tales of what a smug douche you are so do you actually have any principles? You ramble on about no-one being worth voting for; therefore, I ask you what do you *need* from a candidate in order to vote for him/her?

poppajoe49 February 27, 2012 at 6:15 am

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So then my comment stands true.

At the time, You voted for the worst sleazebag politician to come down the pike since “Boss” Tweed!

elcotopo February 27, 2012 at 6:10 am

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Clinton was the last democrat I voted for. Yes he had baggage. But no where near the baggage of bob dole. At the time he was best to lead since then noone one who has run deserves the honor of my vote by any party. You waste your vote it doesn’t countr and you’ll have 4 yrs to whine and cry about the outcome. Ill be at peace cause I didn’t vote for any of the parties puppets who care nothing about you their faithful sheep but only stealing money for their rich friends and screwing the hard working americans who don’t contribute anything to the parties funds because we allknow our votes or opinions don’t count only the agenda of their party and blocking anything other parties propose even if its good for average americans because they only vote party lines. Influenced by lobbyist concerned with corporate agenga’s to steal money by tax concessions and kickbacks to people to ddont need the money but want to make sure people like you and me never see anything but poverty. Have fun explaining to god why you supported people repeatly who had no plan or desire to help all of gods children not just the rich

flashingscotsman March 20, 2012 at 9:40 pm

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I got a headache trying to read that illiterate slop.

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