Top 12 reasons to vote Democrat. We’re deviating from the norm as this is too good to not post. Unknown author, but we’d sure like to know the person who came up with it.

“When your family or friends cannot explain why they voted democrat, give them this list and they can pick a reason from this “TOP 12″.

12.  I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.

11.  I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

10.  I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

9.  I voted Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

8.  I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius.

7.  I voted Democrat because I’m not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

6.  I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away the social security from those who paid into it.

5.  I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.

4.  I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

3.  I voted Democrat because I think that it’s better to pay billions to people who hate us for their oil, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish.

2.  I voted Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I was promised “HOPE AND CHANGE”.

And, finally, the No. 1 reason to vote Democrat:

1.  I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my rectal cavity, it’s unlikely that I’ll ever have another point of view.”

{ 50 comments… read them below or add one }

Ruben February 21, 2012 at 11:16 am

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 58 Thumb down 1

Yep… that just about covers it.

jukin February 21, 2012 at 11:32 am

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 42 Thumb down 3

I voted Democrat because I believe that you have to borrow money and spend it to avoid going bankrupt.

I voted Democrat because I believe that 1+1=POTATO.

jukin February 22, 2012 at 10:43 am

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 15 Thumb down 3

I voted Democrat because I believe that because I refuse to learn from history.

Omar February 22, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 14 Thumb down 3

I voted democrat because somebody somewhere is making a profit, dammit.

poppajoe49 February 22, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 9 Thumb down 2

Yep, gotta put a stop to that!

FormerlyDeanH February 21, 2012 at 11:35 am

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 21 Thumb down 11

I voted democrat because its democratic.

MGAP February 21, 2012 at 11:56 am

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 28 Thumb down 7

I have eleventy reasons for voting democrat. I won’t waste my time explaining them because you are too stupid to understand enlightened thinking.

Anonymous March 20, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 2

Eleventy reasons? Is elevanty even a word?

flashingscotsman March 20, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

Never mind.

Maybe it was actually threlve billion.

ooddballz February 21, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 33 Thumb down 1

Vote democrat, a lobotomy is a terrible thing to waste.

Bonfire of the Absurdities February 21, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 33 Thumb down 2

I voted Democrat because it’s raaaaacist to do otherwise.

andre February 21, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Poorly Rated. Do you Like or Dislike? Thumb up 14 Thumb down 40

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

FormerlyDeanH February 21, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 15 Thumb down 2

Well, either a bunch of peeps here missed your significant sarcasm, or I missed your reality!

flashingscotsman February 21, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 13 Thumb down 0

I think that somehow the sarcasm was missed.

poppajoe49 February 22, 2012 at 6:20 am

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 11 Thumb down 0

Absolutely, or they thought that was Alien instead of Andre.

Alien February 22, 2012 at 9:30 am

Controversial. What do you think? Thumb up 8 Thumb down 5

but i’m a caps guy now, with handy avatar..
i think it was some dude named “Allen” who finally triggered me to go gravatar

My only beef here is that this is a cartoon version of dems. In war, we all know you should Know your Enemy (not some cartoon version of your Enemy). Also, amongst this foe, something like 30-40% own guns or have them in household, so #9 is immediately sketchy

I’d close with a similar list aimed at Republicans, which looks just as ridiculous to me, but you’ll think i believe it (and I know Republicans aren’t all bigots, nor want to breathe toxic air, etc..)

poppajoe49 February 22, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 8 Thumb down 1

See, you have a reasonable streak in you!

Alien February 22, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Controversial. What do you think? Thumb up 7 Thumb down 4

I have this sense that there’s a vast middle out there, and it can fix things. But the extremes of partisan interests collude to keep them unaware

Sidekick February 22, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 12 Thumb down 0

I used to think that was true.

flashingscotsman February 22, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 11 Thumb down 0

The middle elected Obama. Not showing much smarts.

andre February 22, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 12 Thumb down 2

major sarcasm miss.

The point is that many dems would look at that list and the answer to pretty much every point would be “yes, that’s right. And I see nothing wrong with that”

PsychoDad February 21, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 15 Thumb down 3

“can not for the life of me figure out why you seem to have a problem with them.”

Isn’t it sad when cousins marry?

democratNON February 21, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 12 Thumb down 1

democratNON
CLOSE cousins!

Alien February 21, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Poorly Rated. Do you Like or Dislike? Thumb up 9 Thumb down 16

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Notsosilent February 21, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 13 Thumb down 3

The number one reason is all you really need to know, it is proven here day and day out by trolls who have their heads in the region of the body that allows them to see the entire digestion process…..And it can never be removed least you violate the religious order of the brothers and sisters of headupassliberals

Progressive Hemrrhoid February 21, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 17 Thumb down 1

They forgot one, “I voted Democrat because some other Democrat promised I could get it for free” if I voted for their sorry ass

flashingscotsman February 21, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 14 Thumb down 0

I can’t find d). All of the above.

Neo-7 February 22, 2012 at 3:43 am

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 12 Thumb down 1

I vote Democrat because I’m a puppet and the devil made me do it .

They call it the evil party for a reason . They get their power from a higher power .

poppajoe49 February 22, 2012 at 6:23 am

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 13 Thumb down 0

I voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine, as long as it’s Spanish or Farsi.

thesturs February 22, 2012 at 7:31 pm
flashingscotsman February 26, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Controversial. What do you think? Thumb up 6 Thumb down 2

There’s plenty of reasons why I would rather not be forced to vote for Republicans to keep Democrats out of office, but you list didn’t mention any of them. All your reasons were ignorant BS.

Elcotopo February 26, 2012 at 2:24 am

Poorly Rated. Do you Like or Dislike? Thumb up 2 Thumb down 10

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Sidekick February 26, 2012 at 4:13 am

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 11 Thumb down 0

If you really believe what you say is true about politicians, then you should not vote at all. You are perpetuating criminal activity using your logic.

Elcotopo February 26, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Poorly Rated. Do you Like or Dislike? Thumb up 1 Thumb down 9

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

poppajoe49 February 27, 2012 at 6:12 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

Oh, so you’re one of the fools that don’t vote in protest, so your voice is never heard.
So tell us Mr genius, who was the last person you voted for, Carter?

Kip Hooker February 26, 2012 at 6:31 am

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 11 Thumb down 1

Because you don’t like voting for the crook, sleazebag, career politician you voted for the crook, sleazebag, career politician?? I don’t think you’ve given this sufficient thought.

Elcotopo February 26, 2012 at 10:56 pm

Poorly Rated. Do you Like or Dislike? Thumb up 1 Thumb down 8

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Elcotopo February 26, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Poorly Rated. Do you Like or Dislike? Thumb up 1 Thumb down 8

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

flashingscotsman March 20, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

You don’t get to save them up unless you live in Chicago.

poppajoe49 February 26, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0

You just contradicted yourself.
You voted for the worst sleazebag politician to come down the pike since “Boss” Tweed!

flashingscotsman February 26, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 8 Thumb down 0

There ARE other parties. They just don’t get the attention, because their candidates aren’t sleazy enough to garner the attention. I’m a Libertarian, but I usually have to vote for the Republican, because the Democrat is ten times worse. Except for the Presidential race, where my vote doesn’t count at all because of the Electoral College.

Elcotopo February 26, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Poorly Rated. Do you Like or Dislike? Thumb up 1 Thumb down 8

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

poppajoe49 February 27, 2012 at 6:13 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

So then my comment stands true.

Elcotopo February 26, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Poorly Rated. Do you Like or Dislike? Thumb up 2 Thumb down 7

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

flashingscotsman March 20, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

I’m pretty certain that the last person you voted for was an idiot, though. You already admitted it was a Democrat.

Elcotopo February 26, 2012 at 10:52 pm

Poorly Rated. Do you Like or Dislike? Thumb up 1 Thumb down 6

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Sidekick February 27, 2012 at 4:40 am

Controversial. What do you think? Thumb up 7 Thumb down 1

Okay, so you’ve regaled us with tales of what a smug douche you are so do you actually have any principles? You ramble on about no-one being worth voting for; therefore, I ask you what do you *need* from a candidate in order to vote for him/her?

poppajoe49 February 27, 2012 at 6:15 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0

So then my comment stands true.

At the time, You voted for the worst sleazebag politician to come down the pike since “Boss” Tweed!

elcotopo February 27, 2012 at 6:10 am

Poorly Rated. Do you Like or Dislike? Thumb up 1 Thumb down 5

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

flashingscotsman March 20, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

I got a headache trying to read that illiterate slop.

{ 3 trackbacks }