British doctors call for ban on long kitchen knives to end stabbings. Well, now the Brits can have Piers back so he can call everybody against knife control a stupid idiot. And we’ll throw David Gregory in for nothing. Aw hell, take all of our journ0lists… please! What could’ve started this Night of the Long Knives, a mass stabbing somewhere? We’ve heard rumors the individual pictured below killed numerous times and even filmed her crimes for audiences to watch. Scary.

serial killer Julia Child holding knife

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96 Comments on "British doctors call for ban on long kitchen knives to end stabbings"

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xgman
Member

I once blew out a candle from 20ft with a fart.

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Not so silent
Member

TD MO and Turds to the fart freak.

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KimmyQueen
Guest

Yeah I have been meaning to ask… what is that about?

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drb
Member

nothing, he’s just all fart and no sh!t to show for it.

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xgman
Member

What do you get when you eat beans and oinions?……………………Tear Gas.

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poppajoe49
Member

LOL @ Mona Lucy!

Kimmy, he’s 12, fart jokes amuse children.

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KimmyQueen
Guest

OIC

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KimmyQueen
Guest

I love the avatar! It is so cute!

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drb
Member

thanks, I kinda like it too.

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GhostntheMachine
Member

Some set of lungs.

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xgman
Member

HAPPY NEW YEAR

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flashingscotsman
Member

TD,…………………MO.

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poppajoe49
Member

I guess you were right, he really is 12.

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drb
Member

I think he is a little older than 12, but under 21 as he thinks bodily functions are the funniest things on Earth. Child none-the-less.

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danybhoy
Member

Look, potty humor has it’s place, at least with many guys anyway. But this “xgman” is a put on. Gotta admit, the Holy Crap joke made me laugh, but for the most part, his schtick is based on being in a state of arrested development.

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poppajoe49
Member

I meant developmentally, not chronologically. Sorry for the confusion. 😉

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Sidekick
Member

Doesn’t matter how old he is. He is on the same intellectual and achievement trajectory as john.

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drb
Member

They both need to go back to playing Minecraft, bless their hearts, and stop interupting the adults while we are having a conversation.

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Alien
Member

Hey now.. Minecraft is pretty fun. I play it with my kids sometimes on Xbox (4 players simultaneously makes for good times). One of my sons and I make some interesting redstone circuits to create traps. My daughter designs cute cartoon villages and sculptures. Way better then TV or most video games, in terms of learning/creativity

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drb
Member

Yeah my son plays too

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poppajoe49
Member

I have no idea what you’re talking about.

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Alien
Member

Yeah I’d heard about it, but it took the kids to get me to try it.. The dude created a simple game on a lark, and sold many millions of licenses, first for any JVM (PC or Mac or wherever Java runs), then years later on Xbox Live. My envy is considerable

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xgman
Member

What did the High Preist say when he looked in toilet?………Holy Crap

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xgman
Member

A average person farts 14 times a day.

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poppajoe49
Member

So, that’s what it is that makes you above average.

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xgman
Member

Yes.

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flashingscotsman
Member

TD,…………..MO.

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Alien
Member

Even this is a response.. Just ignore

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jcrowley1985
Member

I thought that was reserved for my posts.

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Not so silent
Member

Apparently you have a twin bother who is just as stupid as you are, but he isn’t in love with Ron Paul and doesn’t have a fetish for wrinkled old guys. I would say your brother is more into molesting little children.

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xgman
Member

You seem to be very interested in molesting little children.If you have any little children I feel very sorry for them to have a father like you. I really hope you do not have have any children. You should get help before you hurt some other peoples little children.

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Not so silent
Member

Yup a libturd, spin it around…If anyone should be worried it would be the bovine you mated with or the one that produced you. Why not do us all a favor, get yourself one of those donkey calenders and spend some time with an ass who could be your soul mate.Your just another sick little perv getting his kicks posting here because in the real world no one likes you and your probably are also under house arrest and wearing an ankle bracelet….

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xgman
Member

Please get help before you molest any more children.

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flashingscotsman
Member

TD,……………………MO.

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xgman
Member

HAPPY NEW YEAR NSS.

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Not so silent
Member

TD MO to the troll…

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GhostntheMachine
Member

please ask Mum again before you’re allowed to play, you sure you want to play that game? Really?

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xgman
Member

You are a very sick poor excuse for a man if you are a man who hides behind a keyboard. GET HELP NOW.

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Not so silent
Member

TD and MO to the troll…..Is this where we get into the 12 year old thingy..”I know you are but what am I?”. Insults from a man who thinks his fart jokes are funny……Come back when you grow up there little fart….

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flashingscotsman
Member

Thirds.

TD,………….MO.

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poppajoe49
Member

Draven?

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poppajoe49
Member

STFU you stupid fucking asshole. 2

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matthew s harrison
Member

Laughing too hard to put in my two cents

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xgman
Member

I wonder what would happen if every person in the world fart at the same time.

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KimmyQueen
Guest

Lame, your other post was funnier. Yes the one where you typed nothing.

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drb
Member

Well, bless your heart, you’ve resorted to repeating yourself.

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DefHarryMelon
Member

Ah, that old southern charm fools fools every time! I love it.

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xgman
Member

You are the one that was fooled fool. I do this for fun to and to get a rise out of fools

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Not so silent
Member

xpeeman, You get some kind of sexual gratification posting here? I would imagine your on Megan’s law pervert list somewhere…..If your life is that boring that you decide to post here, your either on house arrest or in an institution where your computer time is limited. We will just TD and MO your posts since your not saying anything that people really give a rats ass about.

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KimmyQueen
Guest

You must not have a life worth living. I would feel bad for you if I wasn’t too busy laughing.

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Sidekick
Member

Then you are a lifeless moron.

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xgman
Member

Thank you.

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poppajoe49
Member

STFU you stupid fucking asshole.

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flashingscotsman
Member

TD,………………….MO.

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xgman
Member

Thank you drb.

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KimmyQueen
Guest

You are an idiot. I am laughing at you so hard, I should thank DRB for that.

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xgman
Member

I

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KimmyQueen
Guest

LOL

This guy is so universally hated that he got downed for saying nothing. That is incredibly funny!

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flashingscotsman
Member

Downed heavily, as a matter of fact. Yeah, there’s still hope for this country.

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flashingscotsman
Member

Shut up.

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Big Al
Member

Full auto electric knives should only be in the hands of the military and police. A civilian has no need for such a weapon.

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whiskeyriver
Guest

Would this ban mean I will have to lock my full auto electric knife in the gun safe with my other weapons?

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Progressive Hemrrhoid
Member
Progressive Hemrrhoid

The British are none too sharp, I fully expect them to give up all their knives and forks and go back to the days of Henry the 8th.

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flashingscotsman
Member

Oprah would be shocked. Shocked, I say.

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flashingscotsman
Member

Oprah would be shocked.

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danybhoy
Member
ooddballz
Member

Y’all are just too sharp for me, trying to get in a knife pun at this point would be pointless.

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Navyvet2
Guest

I read where some idiot was sticking her head out of the window of a bus and waving her arms around and laughing….until the bus passed close to a utility pole which collided with her head…killing her. (Happened recently in Brazil) We need to ban telephone poles. ie the Society Halting Installation of Telephone poles. We can call it SHIT for short. I’m applying for a government grant immediately.

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poppajoe49
Member

When my younger brother was a Senior in High School, something similar happened to someone in his class.
A group of girls were out driving, one of them stuck her head out the window to yell to their friends following them, and she “lost her head”, thanks to a telephone pole. I really felt sorry for the other girls in the back seat with her when she fell back into the car.
We need to ban telephone poles, cars, and teenagers.

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KimmyQueen
Guest

OMG that is terrible!

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flashingscotsman
Member

With me, it would have been my ass that got knocked off.

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deepthinker
Member

Trust me, there are so many ways and types of instruments to use to hurt people it would make you dizzy trying to keep up with them.

Hell let us go back to using our hands and fingers to eat with and destroy all of the forks, knives and spoons. While we are at, pencils, pens, nails, hammers, screw drivers, beer and whiskey bottles, cars, gasoline, matches, lighter fluid, propane gas, laundry detergent, cheese cloth and on and on. This ignorant shit is never going to stop. If someone wishes to kill another person, they are going to find away to do it.

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Joe
Member

Not to mention all the things that can be turned into shiv’s.

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poppajoe49
Member

You forgot rocks and sticks.

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GhostntheMachine
Member

And you’re awake, why? I have an excuse, you? 😉

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poppajoe49
Member

I fell asleep around 10 pm, and just woke up at midnite, now I need to get tired again.
Besides, I would have missed out on my wife bitching at me if I was sleeping.

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flashingscotsman
Member

Now, THERE’S a weapon.

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GhostntheMachine
Member

don’t forget those nasty sporks, just saw where somebody at a Taco Bell went postal with one of those things when they put black olives on his burrito supreme after he said hold them.

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Extirpates
Member

They do have a point eh, what? Shorter blades will increase the number of stab wounds and require greater medical intervention to stop the bleeding from 50 small wounds rather than one big one. Good Show, Pip, Pip and all that sort of rot!
Deaths by knives may go down, deaths by large rock may increase. Then what do you do,
lead pipe will come next, then tire irons, gold clubs, axes, saws, etc,etc,etc. Government will be stuck in a perpetual preventative do loop that prevents nothing but makes them look like imbeciles.
The problems are in the hearts of and heads of humans.
What happens when they run out of things to outlaw?

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flashingscotsman
Member

When all they really need to do is ban Islam.

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KimmyQueen
Guest

*GROANS*

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Ruben
Member

Johnny Hart, of B.C. comic strip fame, said, “The louder the groan, the better the pun.”

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GhostntheMachine
Member

Aww jeese, you would not believe the first page pulled, or maybe you would, but Ariel with SpongeBob? Groaning?

**NSFW**

First casual search, “B.C. the louder the groan”
https://ixquick.com/do/search?

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GhostntheMachine
Member

Try it, B.C. the louder the groan Ixquick.com, of course all my filters are off, but still, funny as hell.

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GhostntheMachine
Member

prolly a good thing ixquick doesn’t transfer sites either, but it’s bad\funny, sorry.

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GhostntheMachine
Member

insomnia time, just sent me searching…great point btw.

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Neo-7
Member

I see the day when they may ban the disposal of used toilet paper . With the way the Libtards think , it may come to them , that they are actually throwing away parts of their brains with each flush .

Oh the HUMANITY !!!!!

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Ruben
Member

A long knife ban? Figures… effete left-leaning Londoners have always considered themselves on the cutting edge.

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PsychoDad
Guest

Well-played, sirs. Always knew there were some sharp wits around here.

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Joe
Member

It certainly never gets dull.

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CO2Insanity
Admin

I personally think the Brits should take a stab at it. They could slash the death rate. Why mince around? Any way you slice it, this has the potential to foil criminals.

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KimmyQueen
Guest

OMG oh no you didn’t…

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GhostntheMachine
Member

Brits, such pricks.

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Trickie
Member

And knifes should not be sharper than the people handling them

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drb
Member

in that case, ban paper.

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Sidekick
Member

Can’t disagree. The Brits are a cut above the rest. If they take their hacks and really go to work chop chop, then they can parry and lunge at the problem.

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