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Dog shoots man. They can’t blame this one on lack of background checks. Dogs get background checks every time they meet another dog.

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18 Comments on "Dog shoots man"

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Not so silent
Member
Not so silent
February 27, 2013 6:25 pm

Any chance we can get this dog and his gun adopted by Creepy Crowley?

PsychoDad
Guest
February 27, 2013 2:59 pm

Wow, this is why Fark has a “Florida” tag all by itself. To be fair: the article is rather accurate. The bit about the dog kicking the “unloaded gun” is set off in quotes and seems to be from the police report.

Here’s the kicker though: “The report said Lanier was not only surprised that the gun was loaded, but also that it was actually a 9mm weapon.”

No, here’s the real kicker. This is a Florida newspaper — about an area called “HIGHLANDS”???? Florida, I don’t think that word means what you think it means.

poppajoe49
Member
poppajoe49
February 27, 2013 7:26 pm

In Florida, Highlands means anything more than 12 feet above sea level.

Karmaa
Member
Karmaa
February 27, 2013 2:10 pm

It’s Florida. That explains it all.

ooddballz
Member
ooddballz
February 27, 2013 3:50 pm

Quit dogging Florida, they just get boned by the packs of Yankees coming down and lowering the IQ.

poppajoe49
Member
poppajoe49
February 27, 2013 7:25 pm

Sorry ooddballz, but all the proof you need that he is a native Floridian is in these 3 little words:

Gregory Dale Lanier.

Yankees don’t use 3 names.

JPTravis
Member
February 27, 2013 8:18 pm

Tell that to George Herbert Walker Bush.

poppajoe49
Member
poppajoe49
February 27, 2013 8:44 pm

Isn’t he a Texan?
Besides, that’s 4 names.

JPTravis
Member
February 27, 2013 9:26 pm

Penobscot, Maine, is where the family used to have a home, and that’s Yankee country, but you’re right, he made his money in Texas oil. Never mind.

poppajoe49
Member
poppajoe49
February 27, 2013 11:18 pm

LOL

JPTravis
Member
February 27, 2013 2:16 pm

You’re being kind of ruff on Florida…

Sidekick
Member
Sidekick
February 27, 2013 2:32 pm

I see you’re hounding us with another pun.

JPTravis
Member
February 27, 2013 3:27 pm

I just think the police should be given credit for making the collar.

Progressive Hemrrhoid
Member
Progressive Hemrrhoid
February 27, 2013 1:51 pm

And what is the first rule of gun ownership is? Oh yeah, that right, “Treat Every Gun As If It’s Loaded”
Dumbass is lucky he’s not in the running for a Darwin Award.

ooddballz
Member
ooddballz
February 27, 2013 12:56 pm

I remember when the dog would just bite you.

Bonfire of the Absurdities
Member
February 27, 2013 12:34 pm

He said that he was driving on State Road 17 North “when his dog kicked his unloaded .380 pistol causing it to fire and the bullet struck his leg. Lanier said he heard boom, saw smoke and felt a burning in his leg.”

This would seem to present strong empirical evidence that the pistol was, in fact, NOT UNLOADED (pardon my double negative.)

If you read the article, it’s poorly written. I don’t know if it’s the newspaper writer who’s to blame or the police report, but kids in my generation wouldn’t gotten out of elementary school with writing like this. That may sound harsh but educators used to say “If you can’t write, you can’t think.”

PsychoDad
Guest
February 27, 2013 3:05 pm

Yeah, if you differentiate between the story itself and what seems to be the police report, I don’t think the story is poorly written. I mean it’s not incisive journalism, it’s a humorous puff piece to begin with, witness the line “police did not arrest the dog, etc.”

Probably the only edit I would make is para.5, changing “not loaded” to “unloaded,” kind of an awkward construction as it is.

Joe
Member
Joe
February 27, 2013 12:31 pm

“Sebring Police Cmdr. Steve Carr said police did not arrest the dog or detain the animal, pending the investigation.”

LoL!

Police: “Tell us why you shot him sir.”
Dog: “Bark… Ruff… Bark…”
Police: “Please cooperate in this investigation”
Dog: *takes a dump*
Police: “That’s it, you’re going away for a long time pal”
Dog: *scurries away to lead a life of freedom and adventure*

It’s good to be a dog sometimes.

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