Jimmy Kimmel’s United commercial. “You do what we say, when we say, and there won’t be a problem. Capiche?”

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67 Comments on "Jimmy Kimmel United commercial"

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KimmyQueen
Member

American Airlines just told United to hold his coke while flight attendant allegedly assaults a woman and one of her babies in a flight, then she is escorted out and AA refuses to apologize to her. Back in the cabin before she is escorted out when she is talking to the people as to what just transgressed, another passengers stands up to defend the woman (who it seems was alone) and the flight attendant instead of apologizing or calming things down told the passenger to go over where he stood to hit him. I sent a video to this site through twitter.

Wow… what a mess

http://www.foxnews.com/travel/2017/04/22/american-airlines-investigates-reported-confrontation-between-crew-member-mother.html

Customer service is truly lacking in that industry.

poppajoe49
Member

That AA guy would have been carried off the plane if I saw him treat a woman with a baby that way!

KimmyQueen
Member

A lot of people think the same. This was a mess

KimmyQueen
Member

Someone can find the link (here: http://www.reuters.com/article/us-ual-scorpion-idUSKBN17G1EQ), but in addition to the pair that were taken off the plane when they were on their way to their wedding, it seems a man was bitten or striken by a scorpion in one of their flights. Oh boy United is actual shit.

MGAP
Member

Haven’t heard confirmation, but I can see this being a true story. Think of a jet as a flying building. It has seats, rooms, kitchens and bathrooms. People from all over enter and leave these things all day long. People bring carryon bags that insects love to hide in. We actually fly insects as cargo. Pet shops need lots of crickets for food. Ive seen birds, monkeys, all kinds of exotic creatures, including a tiger! As a result, we have regularly scheduled fumigation services with Orkin.

People are pigs when they fly. Look around the floor next time you get off a flight longer than 90 minutes!
We had a 757 out of service for three days on more than one occasion last month. Mouse sighting on board and we need to get the mouse off the plane. Think snakes a plane, only with mice! They caught several of them and felt the job was done only to sight another mouse on the very next flight! Out of service again to catch more mice. We can’t just poison them because then you get dead animal stink in the plane plus disease possibilities. They have to trap them and that means setting a load of traps. Locking the jet up and putting it somewhere quiet so the mice move around. Down time like that costs a lot of money, but United does it.

KimmyQueen
Member

I posted a link and reason 200 as to why flying is a nightmare. But the issue of hygiene, etc in the end rest in the shoulders of the company, not on the passengers.

I find it offensive that the Muslims are doing flying better than us.

JPTravis
Member

Apparently United has not learned its lesson. This time they kicked a couple off who were on their way to their wedding:

https://www.yahoo.com/style/united-airlines-kicks-couple-off-plane-en-route-wedding-181721817.html

Seems to me–call me crazy if you want–United should make an effort to stay out of the headlines for a while by NOT KICKING ANYBODY OFF AN AIRPLANE. Sheesh. Corporate stupidity.

MGAP
Member

The only fact this story has right is that it did occur on United Airlines. They were trying to scam an economy plus seat for free. The “sleeping passenger” was a friend of theirs. This is stealing; no gray area here. They tried taking advantage of United because of the recent negative press and got caught. This kind of douchbaggery is happening through out our system right now and United does have the right to not allow passengers to steal or scam us.

JPTravis
Member

You might be right but given what’s happened in the last week, if two people want to move to other seats in a half-empty plane, wouldn’t it be smart to allow it? It’s not stealing. United couldn’t sell those seats to anybody, they’re empty, it doesn’t add to the jet fuel bill to let them sit there, etc. We’re not talking about first class with better peanuts, we’re talking about moving from economy to economy plus. Same peanuts.

MGAP
Member

Sorry, row 21 is the best row in coach period! Typical uncharge is a round 179$ per seat/one way in this row. More leg room than first class. You can buy this upgrade onboard and the FA did offer to up sell this seat. Problem allowing people to move forward is that everyone will want and expect the same treatment. Then you have someone yelling discrimination because they didn’t get one of the limited number of eco plus seats. Or you get a couple guys fighting over the last seat. People are animals once they get on an airplane.

More to this story than being reported. Marshals were called in because these people were inebriated and abusive to crew. Have not gotten the exact quote, but preliminary reports are the words, nazi and sky c*nt were thrown at the FA for doing her job.

Once you’ve been advised that something costs more than you paid for and you still insist on taking it anyway; that’s stealing. No gray area here.

JPTravis
Member

Again, the upcharge is for reserving the seat. If nobody buys it, nobody buys it. At that point, what does it hurt to let someone sit there? United didn’t make more money by kicking them off the plane, all they did was shoot themselves in the stock price again. The company is being penny wise and pound foolish by being such sticklers for their own rules. In the original incident they saved themselves a couple hundred dollars buying four volunteers and took a hit to their stock price that equaled hundreds of millions. It’s stupid. And your story is not the story the wedding family is telling and think about it: what are the chances that a bride on her way to a wedding would call someone a “sky c*nt” in front of her family and her new inlaws? I’m guessing if that happened at all, it happened as they were being dragged off the plane, which should never have happened. As Jimmy Kimmel said in the monologue preceding the video above, in no other industry are customers treated the way they are treated in the airline industry. NONE. He gives the example of a family eating at Applebees and suddenly being told they have to leave the restaurant so some Applebee employees can have their table. It wouldn’t happen. Ever. In the commercial airline business, customers are treated like crap from the moment they hit the dropoff lane (Don’t turn your car off! Don’t take too long saying goodbye!) at the door to the moment they leave the airport at their destination. And God forbid something is wrong with the plane–the airline will keep the customers prisoners in the hot plane for hours, literally starving them until they are weak, rather than let them off so they can sit in the terminal in comfort. And the seats in the airplane? THEY’RE DESIGNED FOR MIDGETS! (I’m really getting warmed up now.) THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO CAN FLY COMFORTABLY ARE RICH PEOPLE AND MIDGETS! For me, every flight is torture and I just have to hope when I unfold my legs at the end they still work.

KimmyQueen
Member

This is why I hate to fly…

poppajoe49
Member

Now you know why I fly Southwest. No class, and you get to pick any open seat except bulkhead, which is saved for handicapped passengers.

JPTravis
Member

Yeah, Southwest is the best. When I was working for the federal government where you’re supposed to use the lowest bidder, we were always looking for excuses to buy tickets on Southwest. And Southwest was the first airline to give their FAs a little leeway and show their personalities. Some of them are decent comedians. I’ll never forget flying into Vegas on a windy day and bouncing down the runway on the landing with my life flashing before my eyes. The FA comes on the intercom afterward and says, “I hope you enjoy your stay in Las Vegas… it has to be better than that landing.”

CO2Insanity
Admin

My last flight to Dallas on SW was great. The return flight sucked because I had some sonovabitch behind me farting for 3.5 hours. That cost me about $320 round trip.

I am flying Virgin this time. $95 each way. $190 round trip. Hopefully no farters.

My daughter decided to go for a few days and got a RT on American for $170.

SW isn’t always the cheapest.

poppajoe49
Member

We used to fly Continental, because it was the best option out of Newark, NJ. Now we fly Southwest almost exclusively. If you read my rant on Spirit, you know I never fly them.

JPTravis
Member

Farting is bad, but I dumped a Coke into my lap in the window seat almost as soon as we took off from D.C. and had two fat guys between me and the aisle and the drink cart blocking the aisle so I sat in a puddle of Coke from D.C. to Reno, wondering the whole time if the acid in the cola was causing my man parts to disintegrate. What a nightmare. I could hardly wait to get off the plane and duck into a mens room to see if everything was still there.

And the reason I dumped the Coke? Because the two fat guys were taking up so much space I had to lean right into the side of the plane to avoid contact, and when the FA served me my glass of Coke and I reached for it, my elbow banged into the side of the plane, throwing off my reach. THOSE F##KING PLANES CRAM YOU IN LIKE CATTLE! I hate flying. They design the seating for four foot tall Indonesians.

poppajoe49
Member

They design the seating for the Munchkin cast from Wizard of Oz.

MGAP
Member

Let’s look at this another way. We configure anA320 as follows, 12 first class seats, 28 economy plus and 96 regular economy. Typically all the cheaper seats sell first and these were what the couple had. They look forward instead of aft and choose the most expensive seats on the airplane to sit in, except for first class of course. The flight attendant then tells them that they are going to have to cough up 360 bucks to upgrade. The couple replies that they are on their way to get married. The flight att. then says congrats, let me upgrade you for free! All is well and they now love United Airlines. Now the other 94 people in the back see this and everyone hops up i unison and moves forward. Common core math problem here 28-96= Eleventy, right?What does United do when 94 people demand a free upgrade for less than 20 seats? Passengers are already looking for all the free shit they can get on United and you’re going to get a riot on your hands when everyone doesn’t get what they want. Another really really really important thing you are missing here is that the crew is in charge. If you can’t comply with crew instructions, you will get ejected. These people are there for the safety of the average customer who need to be told what to do and more importantly, what NOT to do. The flight crew loses control of the cabin… again, chaos and rioting will break out.

Irony here is that we’ve met at a website called IHATETHEMEDIA.com, a website dedicated to calling BS on the media and their inability to report the facts and you’re taking the story on yahoo at face value.

JPTravis
Member

Seems to me the problem solves itself when there are no more economy plus seats to give away, but that’s just me. Reminds me of getting on a mostly empty flight from Portland once and walking all the way to the back so I could be alone, spread out, and sleep. The FA kind of frowned at me so I asked if it was a problem. “Not really,” she replied, “but you will see in a few minutes why I was frowning.” Turned out she was in charge of the back section seatbelt lecture and because I walked back there she had to do it… for just me. We both laughed all the way through. It was kind of funny but yet another example of the senseless obedience to stupid rules that seems to be endemic in the airline industry. Why can’t she just ask me if I know how to use a seatbelt? And anyway is there anybody left in the world who doesn’t? And (getting warmed up again) IT SURE AS HELL DOESN’T MATTER WHETHER YOUR HEAD IS BETWEEN YOUR LEGS WHEN AN AIRPLANE CRASHES.

MGAP
Member

You weren’t paying attention. You’re supposed to brace against the seat back in front of you.😜

MGAP
Member

The chances the bride to be would say something nasty to a FA? I’m going with better than 90% since this ‘blushing bride’ has managed to get removed from a flight. She was told to sit down and didn’t. I’m going with a 98% chance this woman and her fiancée are both assholes in their regular life too.

JPTravis
Member

Granted, there does seem to be a lot of assholes in the world but still… who says that in front of their mother-in-law-to-be?

StrinaM
Member

The couple claims their seats we’re hijacked, so instead of making a scene, they moved. They were asked to move, which they claim they did. Then they were asked to leave. After the lies corporate told after the doctor thing…. I don’t know who to believe. Sorry.

KimmyQueen
Member

More competition is needed. Police need to stay out of it ONCE the passengers are seated (Chicago and New York already decided this), customer service training for airlines AND airport officials are needed.

Find economic solutions. If you absolutely want them off you need to pay.

MGAP
Member

Was speaking to some of the gate agents and flight crews tonight. Seems the flying public is taking this opportunity to ‘push’ our agents around a bit. They are being pretty abusive and demanding of the front line employees. People are just demanding compensation and freebies for no apparent reason at all. Starting conversations with the agent, “Please don’t punch me or break my nose, but do you know what time it is?” Its like they are trying to get in on the lawsuit frenzy while the getting is good.

I don’t deal much with the passengers, but do on occasion. I just hope I don’t encounter some abusive smartass, I don’t do well with people who take advantage of others, abuse their positions or general bullying. At all.

ooddballz
Member

You are correct.
It is not right for a paying customer to do it any more than it was right for United to do it, but you must admit…..United pretty much brought it upon themselves.

MGAP
Member

No. We did not bring this upon ourselves personally. I wasn’t there. To suggest we somehow deserve this as individuals is insulting. I work with some of the most professional service driven people in the industry. To suggest that my co-workers brought something upon themselves because of an event that occurred 1000 miles away is ludicrous.
I’ve seen customers tell one of my black coworkers that if the company didn’t hire a, “bunch of fu*king orangutans and ni****s,” his bag wouldn’t be lost. She didn’t even flinch and went out of her way to continue resolving the issue; all the while, this guy was yelling racial slurs and obscenities at the top of his lungs. These events go unreported. Thousands of our people endure verbal abuse on a daily basis, most of which isn’t the fault of the agent, airline or policy.
I’ve had people come at me in the grocery store (in my uniform) and tell me how I fuc*ed up their recent trip. I apologized for a weather related delay that occurred to them in Hawaii!

Sundays event was bad. United is accepting responsibility and working to change corporate policy to make sure it never occurs again. What else can they do? NO, me and my coworkers do not deserve any added abuse because of a mistake that was made by a few people in ORD with the help of rent a cops.

ooddballz
Member

Not saying that you, nor your co workers are responsible, and I am sorry for the abuse you suffer for it.
But yes, United DID bring it upon themselves.

Through poor management, or bad company policy, or whatever. The company, or some entity thereof, frankly, screwed the pooch. Now, I agree that it is the corporate types that SHOULD suffer the ire for it, and not the poor working schlubs who are just doing their jobs as best as they can. Sadly, however, the world is NOT just, and you and your friends are the face of the company that the average person CAN interact with.

Thankfully, the last few flights I have taken were with Lufthansa, and I was more than happy with the service. I have had few reasons to fly any domestic carriers, and it has been years since I did, however, sadly, due to this incident and a few others, I will avoid flying United if it is at all avoidable. Thankfully, even when in the states, my life was such that I could take the time to drive anywhere I might have needed to go on the few occasions I have needed to do any long range travel.

As an aside, I hope I am NOT one of the unpleasant types you must endure, as I prefer to judge each individual on their own merits.

poppajoe49
Member

That is the point. Whether it was bad management or policy, they should have sweetened the pot until they got the number of seats needed. HOWEVER, it was a matter of having to wait 24 hours for the next flight. They should have offered to arrange a flight on another airline sooner. I believe that was the main sticking point.

MGAP
Member

The thing is, everything that was offered is not being reported truthfully. We would have gotten him to Louisville and paid for it. They weren’t going to just dump the guy on the curb and tell him to have a nice day. I’m not defending the event, just my co-workers that had nothing to do with what happened.

We had another ‘event’ last night at my station. A guy started yelling that United was trying to bump him from a flight and he had to get home. He started yelling to other pax asking them to record the injustice. Unfortunately for him, the flight had 30 empty seats and everyone in the lobby knew so. Apparently he did receive a pretty good booing from the other customers.

poppajoe49
Member

Well, that’s a good thing.
The thing that everyone keeps overlooking is that it wasn’t United employees that did this, it was the airport security agents. That’s who should really be getting the attention.

MGAP
Member

Yeah, they’ll get sued too! Bottom line is that our corporate policy or lack of, kicked off the chain of events that brought the security team aboard.

KimmyQueen
Member

You are correct that dumbasses and freaks abound… that is still UNITED’s fault. Their lack of training and common sense got them in this situation. It is called CUSTOMER SERVICE and it requires training and a good disposition to ensure the best outcome for both parties happen. Just count to ten if you encounter one and limit your participation with customers then.

No matter if the person was belligerent, refused to comply and teased the people to drag him off the plane (which he did do), there was an economic and CUSTOMER SERVICE mandate to take care of the situation without the need for violence.

Had the amount be raised to maximum (or beyond) with added perks like paying for a uber or taxi ride to his destination, or staying in a better hotel, he or someone else would have agreed to step out. There were other passengers, raise the amount, add a perk and move on to next passenger. Someone would have said yes.

With all of that said this entire situation should have been handled at the gate, not after everyone boarded and were seated. Once that happened they should have had the crew fly another flight, make due without them or hire local temps.

flashingscotsman
Member

Open it for bidding. Eventually, you’ll find your four willing passengers.

Red Robster
Member
Not so silent
Member

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Not so silent
Member

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Not so silent
Member

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poppajoe49
Member

United Airlines new seating chart:
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JPTravis
Member

Here’s another one, same kind of deal, United wants a first class customer to get off the plane so a more important first class customer can have his seat: http://www.latimes.com/business/lazarus/la-fi-lazarus-united-low-priority-passenger-20170412-story.html. And they THREATENED A FIRST CLASS CUSTOMER WITH HANDCUFFS IF HE DIDN’T LEAVE HIS SEAT. Something is seriously wrong at this company.

KimmyQueen
Member

Wow… United must be where the worst of the worst go to work at… They must be paid crap and in addition the company is not spending money in proper training. Get off someone more important than you is coming? That is messed up…

poppajoe49
Member

No, actually Spirit is the worst airline.
Trust me, I have firsthand experience.

KimmyQueen
Member

Really? Wasn’t there a undercover boss on spirit?

poppajoe49
Member

I don’t know. My experience with them was as follows.
We went to California from NJ for 2 weeks on vacation, and they called us to tell us that they no longer fly from LAX to the NJ airport (Atlantic City) we flew out of, which was where we had parked our car! We had 2 options,
1. Fly to Ft Lauderdale, wait 24 hours for the next flight to AC, and they refused to pay for our hotel, food, or give any compensation.
2. Fly to Laguardia, in NY, and drive to AC, and they refused to pay for a rental car.

My wife flew with 2 of her girlfriends to St Marten on vacation. When they were going home, Spirit never filled out the paperwork to get the jet fueled, and by the time they got it all straightened out, they were far enough behind schedule, that the women missed their connecting flight, and had to sleep in the airport while they waited for the next flight, because Spirit wouldn’t spring for a motel room.

Basically, Spirit won’t cough up for an extra bag of peanuts, no matter how badly they inconvenience you. Their customer service SUCKS!

KimmyQueen
Member

Woah not flying that shit bucket ever then…

MGAP
Member

We’re in full damage control mode right now. Shit is on fire and the media loves this kind of story. Trump could finger bang Nancy Pelosi on the House floor right now and it would go unnoticed.

Unfortunately, this is built into the United business model. Ideally, the denied boarding will occur before we let people on the plane. Pulling boarded passengers is a worse case scenario and to be avoided. In this case the 4 deadhead crew got to gate after boarding had occurred. Had this individual been told he was not getting on the airplane from the gate lobby, the visuals would have played out differently. We’d have a guy acting like a jerk in the lobby, trying to bypass the agent to board a plane he doesn’t have a ticket for. Media wouldn’t blink an eye there!

JPTravis
Member

So why not just keep upping the offer for volunteers? If $1,000 doesn’t work (although frankly I think the claim that they offered $1,000 for volunteers is an outright lie) then offer $1,500, etc. The stock lost $250 million today. $1,500 is a helluva lot cheaper than $250 million.

Bottom line, and the reason this is resonating with people, is that airlines too often treat their customers like shit. Put six people together and ask them for airline stories and they will talk nonstop for hours. I know the price competition is intense, but still.

MGAP
Member

My understanding was that 1300 was offered and a hotel room. United has a bad rep and rightfully so. My brother in law who is one of those super high mileage guys had to fly United out of SFO with his company. He was elated to hear of the United-Continental merger. Hubby of my cousin who flew Continental and was equally high on frequent flyer list was not elated to hear Continental merging with United. Turns out they both got disappointed!

We all assumed that Continental would be the managing entity at the newly merged airline because we had our shiite together, where United did not. We were all sadly mistaken. We are definitely being managed into the dirt by United airlines and their corporate culture of mistrust and greed. The typical United employee has been laid off from several different stations and at least 4 different times in a 25 year career. Continental did have lay offs but I’ve managed 32 years and not been laid off or displaced. Their people are shell shocked. They’ve had their pensions raided, laid off, pay cuts. It is just part of the corporate culture. The passenger is pretty well treated the same way. Giving them some credit; I’ve seen a massive effort to turn that image around. This event will roll us back 10 years in the PR department. Will be fun to watch Oscar tap dance around this turd for a few weeks. We shall see if they really want to fix things or just talk about it till the heat wears off.

JPTravis
Member

I have a hard time believing nobody was wiling to take $1,300. I just can’t believe it. I’ve never seen the offer take place after everybody has boarded but still… Usually there’s people rushing to take the offer, me among them. I would have been in at less than a thousand. Easiest money in the world–all I gotta do is sit in a hotel bar and fight off all the single women trying to pick me up.

flashingscotsman
Member

Yeah, with that roll of twentys hanging out of your pocket, they’d be all over me. 😉

JPTravis
Member

Admittedly, as we age we need to be more cunning.

KimmyQueen
Member

We aren’t prey gentlemen, nor are we all gold diggers… and getting it on with J. Howard Marshalls is gross for most of us, not saying you are there yet but just keeping it real…

poppajoe49
Member

The problem is, they’d give you a check, so you wouldn’t have the 20’s on hand.

JPTravis
Member

According to this, only $800 was offered and then the selection of the four people ordered off the place was NOT random: http://globalguerrillas.typepad.com/globalguerrillas/2017/04/algorithmic-dystopia.html.

KimmyQueen
Member

No, they SHOULD have upped it to the maximum which is close to 1400, but they didn’t. They did not even offered the 800 they did offer at first to the forced volunteers either.

CO2Insanity
Admin

United’s stock is down today. The asshole President finally apologized.

MGAP
Member

I hope it stays down. That is the only thing that drives these guys to fix problems. Our problem is United Express. Express is not United Airlines, but an assortment of minor carriers contracted to move passengers around in smaller markets to feed the hubs. Typically, if you have contact with an agent or crew operating a Uex flight outside of one of our hubs, you are dealing with a contractor, not United employee. They oversell these smaller planes and deny boarding all the time. Flying most of our domestic traffic on small airplanes is the problem, that won’t change until we decide to stop trying to copy Delta’s business model and operate like a true legacy carrier. That means flying mainline jets in all markets except seasonal and those airports that are too small for a mainline jet.

poppajoe49
Member

We flew Delta once. When they realized they overbooked the cheap seats, they offered an upgrade to First Class, for $600 per ticket.

KimmyQueen
Member

This slayed me. United dug up dirt on the passenger already, but whatever he did (except for some things of course) does not matter nor excuse for what United did nor the cops…

MGAP
Member

United didn’t do that. That was the press actually doing what the press does.

MGAP
Member

Further clarification needed here. The press needs to circle the wagons around Susan Rice and obama. This story allows them to do just that. The press has been given a mission; take the heat off Rice and obama by making the United story ‘THE’ top story of this spring. Suddenly, the journos remember how to actually dig for and air the dirt, equally and without bias. It’d be nice to see them treat politics in the same manner.

KimmyQueen
Member

I could be wrong, but I believe that asking lawyers to dig up dirt, to use for when he sues or to dissuade him to sue is something a big company would do and use the media to do it.

Trickie
Member

Remember when Bill Clinton made Elian Gonzalez volunteer

Kip Hooker
Member

Sounds like Obamacare.

Joe Redfield
Guest

United still hasn’t explained why they didn’t conduct the culling process prior to letting passengers on board. And, having made that mistake,why did no one on the flight crew realize what sort of a PR disaster would result from physically removing a paying customer?

KimmyQueen
Member

They could have offered the maximum of almost 1,400 dollars and a free first class or business bump for ANY flight within a year. Or go down the list and up the money. SOMEONE would have taken 1400+ and first class bump down the list of passengers and yes BEFORE being boarded. Now they and probably police department, are going to have to pay millions. The employees involved should be fired and the cops too…

It seems the rules in place suspends Constitutional laws when we get inside planes, that is crazy…