Pundits have been wondering what Barack Obama and Bill Clinton talked about at their private lunch last week. Well, wonder no more. IHateTheMedia.com’s microphones were there to record the private tête-à-tête.
Clinton: Here’s what you gotta do, Barack.
Obama: I’m taking notes.
Clinton: Visit a beach in Louisiana.
Obama: Good idea. It’s been a while since America’s seen my sculpted pecs.
Clinton: Cool down, big fella. We’re going for the concerned leader shot. I want you to squat in the sand.
Obama: Squat?
Clinton: In the sand. Then get a faraway look on your face that says, “It’s me against the world.”
Obama: Then what?
Clinton: Then you reach down and pick up a little something out of the sand.
Obama: Like what?
Clinton: Well, I picked up rocks in Normandy in ’94. The press ate it up. But since this is an oil spill photo op, pick up something oily.
Obama: How about one of those little oil balls?
Clinton: (laughing) Ha, ha, ha. Oil Balls. That’s what Monica called me.
Obama: You’re sure this will work, Bill?
Clinton: Trust me. The press eats this stuff up. (Aside) I can’t believe Hillary lost to this guy.
