GoGirl.jpg
Required military equipment now that women are frontline combat troops? It’s called a GoGirl. It allows women to pee standing up. Hooah.

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110 Comments on "Required military equipment now that women are frontline combat troops"

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6 November 2012
Member

All this at least shows us that Washington D.C. clearly identifies US soldiers as enemies of the regime.

Kinda hard to take US soldiers guns away, so the regime seeks to demoralize and lower the overall fighting capability of the soldiers.

So the next phase after securing power with martial law is a reverse night of the long knives, putting all of the armed forces under the direct control and full of the White House, its cronies and assorted bureaucracy.

What they want, from generals to simple soldiers, are individuals who would obey absolutely and have zero talents of their own, anyone else is a potential threat.

6 November 2012
Member

What about that jessica lynch back in 2003?

She even got caught.

Trickie
Member

Women should not be in frontline combat. Period .

Progressive Hemrrhoid
Member
Progressive Hemrrhoid

Being this is going to be a Government Issue Item, expect the price to go from $30 to $1200 each, much like other tools like hammers, mops, and anything else the Government buys.

rabbit
Member

Are they working on the plug in and go ?

poppajoe49
Member

Yes, it’s called a rubber hose.

Plainsman
Member

Allowing women to fight on the front lines with men is a backdoor way of degrading and weakening our military. In these subtle ways the evil ones are succeeding in weakening our forces and making us more susceptible to defeat.

In a way, it’s similar to how the anti-gun elites (Feinstein, et al) are handling the gun control issues. By grandstanding as they are about tough new gun laws in the making they are creating a huge demand for guns and ammo unheard of in generations. This is having the “intended” consequence of putting many gun shops out of business, for good. They can’t meet the demand, orders for more are way to slow in coming and the shop owners won’t meet the rent. Soon, all legit gun owners will have run out of ammo after trips to gun ranges and they’ll be left with nothing but MT gun clips and mags.

6 November 2012
Member

It is worst than that, standards are lowered so women can passe, thus deliberately lowering the quality of the US fighting force.

It shows us the US federale governement clearly views average US soldiers as ennemies of the regime.

If gun shops sells Everything tehy have, then they make a lot of money before the real Obama taxes hikes hits the US economy and small businesses.

flashingscotsman
Member

The guns and ammo are being manufactured as fast as possible, and all going through the same gun shop that were making fewer sales a few months ago. Even though there are fewer guns on the shelf, the gun shops are making money. Nobody’s folding over making too many sales.

Big Al
Member

I understand that the upgrade has the Bayonet/Grenade Launcher Attachment.

kevindf
Member

Does it attach to the hoohoo?

GhostntheMachine
Member

And for you, since I’m already in the corner

How To Hold GoGirl

“The best way to hold GoGirl is by using your thumb and middle finger, stretching from front to back. Because it’s made of a medical-grade silicone, it’s flexible and works with any body shape. Maintaining a seal on the back-end is key. It’s best not to hold GoGirl from side-to-side.

Applying too much pressure on the sides can cause it to collapse, which can break the seal in the back.

Try it a few times at home to master your technique so you’ll know what to expect and feel more confident when you need GoGirl on the go. Don’t get discouraged if you dribble the first time or two. With a little practice GoGirl will work perfectly every time.”

Ruined one of my lines when I’d get one of those “such a guy” looks. “Well yeah, maybe, but at least I can pee outside without getting my shoes wet.”

JPTravis
Member

Why the middle finger? Why so specific about which finger? Are they assuming that finger is already nasty so no harm no foul?

drb
Member

cuz it’s the longest…?

JPTravis
Member

How big is this thing? And here’s the problem: if you’re using your middle finger that means your index finger is pointing off in some random direction, which is liable to make one of your fellow foxhole residents think you’re pointing at him. While you pee. Trust me, men don’t like being pointed at by people who are peeing.

drb
Member

Heck if I know…I have no plans to ever use one so it ain’t likely I’ll find out either. Besides, I’m not dumb enough to pay roughly $13 for a funnel…I’ll just go behind a daggone tree and squat if I’m that desperate to pee.

JPTravis
Member

Which brings up an interesting point: is this thing even necessary? I was at a concert once where the bathrooms were doing their usual long-lines-for-women/no-lines-for-men thing and I was happily peeing all by myself when a girl came in, stepped up to the urinal next to mine, pulled up her skirt, tilted her pelvis a bit, and peed into the urinal while her friend guarded the door. I looked over at what she was doing, noted the pelvic tilt, scanned her body quickly with particular attention to her adams apple, decided she was definitely female, then looked her in the eye and said, “You can do that?”

“Yep,” she replied. “Big secret. Don’t tell the other guys.”

DefHarryMelon
Member

I accompanied my girlfriend into the men’s room to void her bladder in the manner you’ve described at two different concerts at Milwaukee’s Marcus Amphitheater. She was a tall girl with a great deal of verve, panache and grace, three black belts, too many tattoos and was also a dancer. Nary a drop dribbled. She got the looks from the guys everywhere anyway, but the men’s room visits stuck in my mind for some reason…

poppajoe49
Member

Would stick in my mind too. I have accompanied ladies into the men’s room for the same reason many times, however there were stalls available, so I never witnessed such an event. The closest I came was one Halloween, the guitarist from the band in the club was dressed in drag, and went into the mens room to use the urinal. Not very interesting.

DefHarryMelon
Member

The first time I pretty much expected her to visit a stall, there were some open. She explained the logic. Easier to stand than try to avoid the urine covered seats and her ability to succeed in this approach was established, so hey, I was in no position to argue. I always think of her with kindness and sometimes miss her!

perlcat
Member

I don’t know, but that list of concerts the guys were talking about has now turned into a “Go there for maximum WTF.”

drb
Member

No it isn’t necessary at all. You just gotta make sure you position yourself right so the urine doesn’t go running down your leg ending up in your shoe or get on your clothes. Writing our names in the snow is a challenge for us ladies though.

JPTravis
Member

I am strangely turned on right now.

poppajoe49
Member

Me too!

Alien
Member

LOL +11

drb
Member

it was the writing of names in the snow that did it, right?

flashingscotsman
Member

Hey! Watch where you’re pointing that finger! Somebody might mistake it for a gun, then you’re in big trouble.

poppajoe49
Member

It needs to “seal” to the body?
Sounds like it’s only for those that shave regularly, which would be kind of tough to do in combat.
In lieu of that, how about one of those long plastic funnels that they use for putting oil in a car?

GhostntheMachine
Member

No no no, check this out, it’s got illustrations and a video and everything

http://www.go-girl.com/how-to-use-gogirl.asp

Hey, mini-blizzard here, what’s a guy to do?

poppajoe49
Member

They have “furry” women using it on video?
How attractive!

Joe
Member

Fantastic! I now know what to get Crowley for his birthday!

StrinaM
Member

I’m only asking because, well, its the Obama Administration, and you know they answer to code pink… but, is this real?

I’ve been to the site, but it CAN’T be real!

edit: My friends who’ve been down-range say they’ve seen them used… Wow! How have I not heard of this?

JPTravis
Member

I added a question mark to show I’m guessing. But you watch, this will be standard combat gear. They have to do something… and I have no idea how women will deal with menstruation at the front. I’m assuming we’re far enough along scientifically that we can stop menstruation in frontline combat troops.

drb
Member

Yeah, she can take the pill and stop that cycle. there are also IUD’s or norplant implants that do the same thing. But not every woman can tolerate the hormonal therapies. I was puking my guts out…sure, that’s helpful out on the front lines, right?

sa_rose
Member

Even wit the pill they have a “period” at some point. If they takethe pills straight through, without the 1 week of sugar pills, most women experience break through bleeding at any time in the month, increasing the problem, not making it better.

Alien
Member

Aren’t there some pills that make it a quarterly or annual event now? Crazy to imagine

sa_rose
Member

Generaly quarterly. But as I said above, many women get breakthrough bleeding any time if they are taking the pills straight through, so that wouldn’t solve anything,

JPTravis
Member

Wouldn’t “breaktthrough bleeding” mean… um, all the necessary processes for conception had happened and therefore the birth control pills didn’t work?

(I’m asking just in case some hot 21-year-old seduces me the next time I go to Appleby’s.)

drb
Member

no, it just means the progesterone levels were too low to maintian the uterine lining so the woman “spots” a little.

JPTravis
Member

And watch out for bears, right?

drb
Member

Mornin’ Poppa

poppajoe49
Member

Mornin’ darlin’.
[_]3
MUWAH!

drb
Member

Well, you have been married more than once and have grown daughters…I would think you learned a thing or three through the years…

JPTravis
Member

See? I know women.

drb
Member

🙂

JPTravis
Member

Might scare the enemy. “Hey, I’m watching some woman through my binoculars and she’s puking her guts out. Let’s get out of here before we catch it!”

drb
Member

Especially the projectile vomiting.

poppajoe49
Member

Now that’s an attractive picture.

drb
Member

Truth is truth. ain’t always purty.

poppajoe49
Member

But I’ll bet you do your best to look good doing it!

JPTravis
Member

?!?!?

No she didn’t.

drb
Member

Nobody looks good doing an imitation of Linda Blair’s famous scene from The Exorcist.

poppajoe49
Member

Your head spun around and you levitated off the bed?

drb
Member

talkin about the puking of the pea soup.

drb
Member

I don’t think I gave a damn at the time. I just wanted it to stop.

GhostntheMachine
Member

Trying to avoid morning sickness and you got… morning sickness-like?

drb
Member

exactly, ‘cept worse…had other side effects other than violent projectile voming, I also experienced bad headaches, blood pressure soared, vertigo. And I can’t rememer what all else. Anyway called my doc, and he just said, “stop taking the pill. you just listed 5 out of 7 indicators that you are about to have a stroke.” And I was just 21 at the time. So that was that. I took the pill for a whopping 3 days total…sick from the very first one. then later on I had endometriosis, which the easiest way to treat is taking the pill, but couldn’t do that, so he gave me depot shots, which is still hormone therapy but at least it is human estrogen rather than horse estrogen. So I tolerated that better but still had issues with nausea and vomiting. But the vomiting was limited to car rides, even if I was doing the driving. So I pretty much stayed home all the time. But hey, no yucky time of the month for 7 months. That part was fabulous! Now I’ve had a hysterectomy so even more fabulous, and I’m done.

StrinaM
Member

I couldn’t tolerate them either. I turned into Linda Blair throughout the month. TOTALLY bipolar. My poor husband.

poppajoe49
Member

Well, the level of fabulous all depends on the reason for the hysterectomy, not always a good time when you find out you need one.

drb
Member

Best thing that ever happened to me! tumors, bleeding half to death, going anemic every month, yeah, it needed to go…pain free ever since, feel about 15 years younger, yee and haw.

drb
Member

Sorry but endometriosis is caused by mensus flowing in the wrong direction due to the uterus being tilted back, hormones have little to do with it.

But he is entitled to his opinion of a woman with an hourglass figure to be noticeably more beautiful…flatterer 😉

perlcat
Member

It had to do with the balance of hormones, causing things that a ladies’ body would normally take in stride to instead rip half her guts out.

They made a good case for it, as well as pointing out that the majority of women who suffer from endometriosis also have pronouncedly feminine figures/attributes, and were noticeably more beautiful as a population segment than women less blessed with that problem.

drb
Member

*heard* it all

oopsie

drb
Member

Well now, I think I’ve hear it all…I don’t see how diet can be blamed for this one. Unless, somehow “diet” forces the uterus to tilt back the wrong way so that at that time of the month, blood flows backword through the fallopian tubes and into the abdominal cavty depsiting endometrial cels on other organs, rather than flowing outward. But ok…blame it on diet rather than a tilted uterus.

perlcat
Member

Happened to my wife as well. Endometriosis is nasty stuff. Read an interesting book that claims it is our lousy Western diet that does it. It’s entirely possible, but a woman going through that kind of pain isn’t going to wait a couple weeks to see if it works.

poppajoe49
Member

Oh well, in that case! YAY!!

MUWAH!

StrinaM
Member

I know now, during field exercises, they have to return to “civilization” for hygiene every 3 days. They also don’t go out during their menses. The army guys i work complain about it from time to time.

JPTravis
Member

So how can you have a frontline platoon where the women have to keep staying behind for that time of the month? That’s gonna piss the guys off bigtime.

Jayhawk46
Member

Great idea. If you’re in the desert just take it into the restroom to clean it. They have restrooms in foxholes, don’t they? Do they come in Camoflage color?

StrinaM
Member

Exactly. Obviously it’s people who’ve never been there who are making these decisions.

sa_rose
Member

As usual.

poppajoe49
Member

Like Panetta.

flashingscotsman
Member

“we can stop menstruation in frontline combat troops.”

No problem. Just send the pregnant ones.

JPTravis
Member

The GoGirl is real. That it will be required military equipment is my brilliant assumption.

drb
Member

And what are you supposed to do with it after you used it? shake it dry and stuff it back in you pocket? eeeewwweeeee gross and nasty. bet it starts stinkin’ real quick.

GhostntheMachine
Member

Made me look, comes with a plastic tube;

Re-Usable and Earth Friendly

Because GoGirl is reusable, it’s environmentally smart. Our active lifestyle girls are our most loyal customers and they love that it’s reusable. The medical-grade silicone is so tough it can withstand boiling water and remains supple. It’s easy to re-use your GoGirl. Wash with soap and water, and dry. The medical-grade silicone dries quickly and you can shake it lightly to help dry.

Wash and dry GoGirl
Lay the baggie out and fold in half with a fresh tissue inside (fold-top sandwich bags work great, too)
Fold the product onto itself and roll in the baggie like a little sleeping bag
Slide back into your tube for the next use.
Roll it up with a fresh tissue, place it in the baggie provided , and put it back in the tube for many uses. It works best to fold the baggie

See, roll it up with a fresh tissue so’s you’ve got terlit paper next time you find yourself in the woods. I know, I know, I’m too easily amused. >>> my corner, over there, got it.

sa_rose
Member

Because out in the field there is such an abundance of hot soapy water. I actually get these things, and I like the concept, but it still would be a problem in a combat zone, should someone on the left see your post and demand its use.

drb
Member

if you are on the front lines, how the heck are you going to wash it? Gimma a sec and let me use the tap on that tree there…brb…or maybe the girls have to carry 2 cantines, one for drinking one for washing?

JPTravis
Member

You’re obsessing about the washing. Think like a man – you don’t need to wash unless you have used motor oil visible on your skin or you stink and want to have sex or someone is watching. Besides, everybody knows urine is antiseptic. Best thing you could do in combat, when washing is difficult, is pee on your hands to disinfect them.

sa_rose
Member

Gross!

drb
Member

No JP, urine is “aseptic” not “antiseptic”…and it’s only “aseptic” until it leaves the bladder.

http://www.everydayhealth.com/healthy-living-pictures/gee-whiz-fascinating-facts-about-urine.aspx#/slide-10

JPTravis
Member

“Fascinating Facts About Urine?” Really? Thing is, your website says it’s better to use soap and water but we’re talking about a foxhole where there is no soap and water. Urine is good stuff. You can drink it when there’s no water, you can use it to ease jellyfish stings, many people swear it cures athlete’s foot, and Eskimo women wash their hair with it because it leaves a nice shine. That’s how the igloo got it’s name. Someone visited an Eskimo named Lou right after his wife had washed her hair and the visitor said, “Ick, Lou, how do you stand that smell?”

perlcat
Member

Well, well, JPTravis, if that’s your *real* name [koff] Bear Grylls[/koff]

poppajoe49
Member

LOL

drb
Member

and you’re better off not gettin’ any on your hands in the first place.

(edit) and funny joke about the igloo

drb
Member

couple more myths there JP…it doesn’t help with jellyfish stings or cure athlete’s foot (Madonna lied) but it does soften the skin.

http://www.everydayhealth.com/healthy-living-pictures/gee-whiz-fascinating-facts-about-urine.aspx#/slide-7

http://www.everydayhealth.com/healthy-living-pictures/gee-whiz-fascinating-facts-about-urine.aspx#/slide-5

oh and the drinking of urine…well there’s a trick to it, you have to distill it first

http://www.everydayhealth.com/healthy-living-pictures/gee-whiz-fascinating-facts-about-urine.aspx#/slide-6

It does, however, whiten teeth! Go ahead and go for it JP

http://www.everydayhealth.com/healthy-living-pictures/gee-whiz-fascinating-facts-about-urine.aspx#/slide-9

drb
Member

good idea, it’s full of waste anyway.

JPTravis
Member

Hey, I’m not in a foxhole, I ain’t drinkin’ no piss.

drb
Member

It says in bold letters MYTH…but whatever…go ahead and piss all over yourself, you seem to think it will make you feel better. 😉

JPTravis
Member

Your link doesn’t say urine doesn’t help jellyfish stings, it says it doesn’t work any better than lidocaine. And your link doesn’t say urine isn’t drinkable, it says there’s no scientific evidence that drinking it is a good idea. See the difference? Clearly the site is a typical health site that pushes pharmaceuticals and ignores the fact that often we are stuck in situations where pharmaceuticals are unavailable. Common sense tells you that urine probably has more H2O in it than strictly necessary and maybe drinking it and reclaiming some of that H2o is a better idea than dying of thirst. Not way better, given the taste, but better.

flashingscotsman
Member

The girls don’t have to worry about carrying that 40 pound water jug. The guys will have to carry it for them.

GhostntheMachine
Member

that was JPs take, in the combat kit. I’m just having fun. Wash it in the sink while washing your hands, in the baggie, in the plastic tube, in your purse, on your way and cute behiney parts never touched that nasty seat and your shoes are still dry.

drb
Member

but if there is a sink nearby then it is likely that a bathroom is nearby too. I’m tellin’ ya the dang thing is more trouble than it’s worth.

poppajoe49
Member

Carry along a 5 gallon water jug, it only weighs an extra 40+ lbs!

GhostntheMachine
Member

Oh, Oh, they already do camo too

GoGirl Single Camo Tube
Camouflage Tube with Khaki GoGirl
Only $12.99

drb
Member

does it come with a urinal cake too?

poppajoe49
Member

You’re obsessing again.
Time to take your meds? LOL!

sa_rose
Member

Speaking of obsessing, Has anyone heard from RObert? He was getting a little weird there for a while, then vanished.

perlcat
Member

I just figured he went back on the meds.

sa_rose
Member

Maybe. I don;’t think he was taking them there for a while.

GhostntheMachine
Member

Hell no, it’s snowing and you can barely see across the street. Already decided I wasn’t getting out in it unless somebody was bleeding, and even then it better be serious.

[edit] and it’s 20 degrees and the winds blowing.

poppajoe49
Member

So, you’re just killing time.

flashingscotsman
Member

I see the price is coming down. Last time my lady checked, they were like thirty dollars.

I hate to have to stop the truck every hour on those long drives.

JPTravis
Member

By the way, the manual I got with mine said two shakes and never zip until you’re sure it’s put away.

Plainsman
Member

Hysterical… I still don’t see how this damn thing is going to work. Actually, It might be pretty handy for a guy.. it’s make the aiming part more precise.

JPTravis
Member

I hear the Navy is working on a ship-mounted urine laser for shooting down ICBMs.

drb
Member

lol

poppajoe49
Member

BWAHAHAHA!!!

JPTravis
Member

If you want to read about how disgusting things can get during a war, read this: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323539804578260132111473150.html?mod=WSJ_Opinion_LEADTop

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