AntarcticSeaIce
Climate scientists decide expansion of Antarctic sea ice is caused by Global Warming. Modern science is easy. Causation is already decided for you – all weather is caused by Global Warming, everything biological is created by Evolution, hydrocarbons come from decayed vegetation, economic success kills Mother Earth, etc. – so to be a successful “scientist” all you need do is explain your data according to the appropriate scientific dogma using words small enough for journalists to understand. Voila! Nobel Prizes will be yours.

{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

sifi April 1, 2013 at 11:42 am

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It’s all lies that point to a political agenda and the liberal lapdog media eagerly lap it up and then regurgitates it to their politically illiterate litters. It’s all about blind votes guided by emotion.

Big Al April 1, 2013 at 11:53 am

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Make fun of the climate scientist if you dare but if that ice ever melts it will release a substantial amount of Dihydrogen Monoxide. That’s a fact Jack!

JPTravis April 1, 2013 at 1:26 pm

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I remember my high school chemistry teacher betting us he could drink a whole glass full of dihydrogen monoxide. He did, too.

Big Al April 1, 2013 at 4:02 pm

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I forced my teachers to move on to the hard stuff.

BobontheJob April 1, 2013 at 12:25 pm

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Snow = GW; No snow = GW. Warm March = GW; cold March = GW. Ice shrinkage = GW; ice expansion = GW. It’s become beyond stupid for a couple of years now.

poppajoe49 April 1, 2013 at 3:49 pm

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What’s the problem?
We all know that the hotter it gets, the more ice we will have.
Why is that so hard for you to understand?

/sarc

Progressive Hemrrhoid April 1, 2013 at 12:47 pm

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For global warming I’ve sure spent a lot of money on heating my place this winter. Normally by this time of year it’s wouldn’t be 20 degrees below normal and still snowing.

JPTravis April 1, 2013 at 1:28 pm

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Just came back from the grocery store: it’s 30 degrees outside according to my car, and it’s snowing. On April 1. My golf league starts in two weeks and there’s still snow on the ground. Global Warming my blue frostbit ass.

CO2Insanity April 1, 2013 at 1:43 pm

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And I’m roasting and wishing I had a short-sleeve shirt on today. Must be a sure sign of global warming.

JPTravis April 1, 2013 at 1:44 pm

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Well step outside that sauna, man! Come outside!

Progressive Hemrrhoid April 1, 2013 at 2:03 pm

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I rode past the local Golf Course this afternoon, the back nine looked like an outdoor scene from John Carpenter’s The Thing.

Navyvet2 April 1, 2013 at 1:15 pm

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More proof of global warming. In 1962 the Minnesota Twins home opener was 34 degrees. This year’s opener it was a sweltering 35 degrees. So There. Issue is settled.

JPTravis April 1, 2013 at 1:30 pm

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You’re right. That’s 1 degree in fifty years and at least as scientific a sample as the climatologists use. Extrapolating out, that’s 2 degrees of warming in a century… shit, sounds good to me.

JPTravis April 1, 2013 at 1:31 pm

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I’m not a baseball fan, but aren’t you playing the Tigers? The radio sports guys here were joking that the Tiger ace might throw a no-hitter because the Minnesota hitters will be too cold to swing their bats.

CO2Insanity April 1, 2013 at 1:44 pm

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They have electric underwear. No problem unless they pee their pants, then zap!

Navyvet2 April 2, 2013 at 11:37 am

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The Tigers could have girly thrower Obama pitch as long as they put a Jason Verlander mask on him, or a Yankees uniform and the Twins will fold like an accordion.

andre53 April 1, 2013 at 1:58 pm

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And while they’re at it, did they also attribute the absence of global warming to global warming?

JPTravis April 1, 2013 at 2:49 pm

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That’ll be in the next IPCC report.

Ruben April 1, 2013 at 6:08 pm

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Halitosis: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
Rancid potato chips: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
A surfer wiped out: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
Stale bread: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
Acute toe fungus: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
Intensely cold North Dakota winters: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
A stock portfolio lost 8% of its value: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
Obama hit 2 out of 50 shots today: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
Gigli was a box office flop: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
Argyle socks make people dizzy: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
I missed my 53 foot putt: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
Eczema: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
Male pattern baldness: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
Warm summer evenings: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
Doggonit! I only bowled a 97: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
I smashed my thumb with a hammer: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
The rice pilaf was mushy: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
That last fish got off the hook: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
Erectile dysfunction: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
A butterfly caught in a spider’s web: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
April showers: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
May flowers: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
June brides: caused by anthropogenic global warming.
My kid got a D- on his math test: caused by anthropogenic global warming.

There’s more but, hey, by now, you get the idea: according to its proponents, everything’s caused by anthropogenic global warming.

poppajoe49 April 1, 2013 at 6:20 pm

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Optional answer, Bush’s fault.

RKae April 1, 2013 at 7:09 pm

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Global warming is Bush’s fault. Bush’s presidency is due to global warming.

We have a liberal-logic closed-loop paradox!

jcrowley1985 April 2, 2013 at 8:43 am

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RKae April 1, 2013 at 7:00 pm

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A butterfly trapped in a spider’s web?

That’s my soul up there.

Navyvet2 April 2, 2013 at 7:06 pm

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Good list but you left off:
An erection lasting more than four hours: caused by AGW.

CO2Insanity April 2, 2013 at 7:57 pm

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If you have an erection that last more than 4 hours call Al Gore.

poppajoe49 April 2, 2013 at 10:58 pm

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That would surely make it go away!

6 November 2012 April 2, 2013 at 8:33 am

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Basic double-think.

sa_rose April 3, 2013 at 9:03 pm

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We have had a relatively warm winter here in SA. Of course, right now we are drying out from 24hrs of rain (thank you God!) and the current temp is 55 with a wind chill into the 30s. A couple of weeks ago we had a late freeze. So I don’t see much evidence of warming. Come July I may feel differently.