Fox reports “11 ways to make your sex life greener”

March 2, 2009, 8:08 pm · 3 comments

Photo: Elven Nicole

We don’t make this stuff up, we just report it. Nobody could make this stuff up.

Fox News just issued a story titled “Eleven Ways to Make Your Sex Life Greener.” This surprised us, because we didn’t know that sex was bad for the environment.

“As we become more compelled to sustain the future, all that is erotic is becoming green,” Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright says in the report. “From seduction to sex, individuals are becoming more planet-friendly as well as body-friendly.

Sexpert Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright

The story goes on to provide tips on green dating, vegetarian porn, green weddings, bamboo sheets, sustainable wooden paddles, and phthalate-free vibrators. (Dammit, man, we don’t even know what a phthalate is, but it sounds kind of kinky.)

As a public service, IHateTheMedia.com generously submits the following tip that Dr. Fulbright overlooked:

“Keep the lights off when you’re having sex with someone ugly. It will conserve energy and your self-esteem.”

You’re welcome. Who needs The Playboy Advisor when you have IHateTheMedia.com.

Source: Fox News

Tagged as: Bamboo Sheets, Condoms, environmental, Environmentally Friendly, FOX, Fox News, green, Lubricants, Organic, Sex, vegetarian, vibrator, Yvonne Fulbright

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doug March 2, 2009, 8:29 pm at 8:29 pm: Another “Green Sex Tip”:

When having green sex, avoid liberal sex partners, their apparent lack of intelligence and judgement could be passed onto your offspring and endanger their chances of survival.

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Kevin March 3, 2009, 10:00 am at 10:00 am: One time, our sex life went green. But my wife bought some Monostat 7. Seven days later, the problem was solved.

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