Krystal Ball is running for congress in Virginia as a Democrat Dildocrat

by editor on October 7, 2010

krystal ball

Someone with this candidate’s name should have been able to look into the future and say, “I see problems if I allow these photos to be taken.”

But, no, one might say that Krystal Ball’s crystal ball was broken.

Krystal is a Democrat running for Congress in Virginia’s overwhelmingly Republican first district. So odds are she didn’t have much of a shot at winning even before these photos leaked. Now she probably has zero chance.

Krystal’s problem? The leaked photos show her dressed as a sexy Santa performing fellatio on a dildo-nosed reindeer. Her defense is basically, “Hey, c’mon, those photos were taken right after I got out of college and that’s my husband wearing the dildo and leash.”

Unfortunately, Krystal, this is 2010 and the photos are what you call political career killers everywhere but San Francisco and Barney Frank’s district, where they’re called resume enhancements.

Too bad. Krystal’s almost cute enough to be a conservative.

Source: Black Velvet Bruce Li

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42 Comments on "Krystal Ball is running for congress in Virginia as a Democrat Dildocrat"

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Guest
October 7, 2010 6:39 am

That’s her husband? I swear I thought that was another chick…just saying.

Member
YT
October 7, 2010 6:41 am

A democrat is a twink*? Color me shocked.
*http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=twink

Also, why the hell would I vote for anyone with A) a stupid ass name B) said name is mispelled? When parents name their children that way it broadcasts to the world they were high as hell for pretty much the entire pregnancy…or at least when they found out the sex. Or they weren’t high but just retarded.

Either way it lets everyone know what to expect out of their spawn. For example, running for public office with pictures of themselves blowing their d-bag husband’s strap-on nose.

Member
DeanH
October 7, 2010 8:53 am

Wait… wait… How do you spell Ball?

Member
October 7, 2010 9:05 am

I did a quick search, and yes, Ball is (what passes for her) maiden name. I suppose that she didn’t wanna take or hyphenate her new hubby’s last name, Dariyanani, as it sounds a lot like “ninny”, and might put people onto the truth before election day. It is very amusing that she calls these photos of her ‘sexist’ — WTF does she think miming giving a BJ to her hubby in public is? She really has to be Mrs. personality if she can’t hang onto a husband with frequent BJ’s. You know, I just can’t recall any decent woman ever doing that, let alone letting pictures be made of it, let alone let people keep the pictures — most women I know claim edit rights over any pic of themselves, and are not shy about deleting any pics that don’t show her at her best. This Ball woman truly is an idiot. If this pic doesn’t clue a person in, consider her tweet about visiting the tea party: “Just leaving 99th District Tea Party where I told them I support the public option, gay marriage, and the stimulus. Didn’t go over so well.” Priceless. Just like her pump &… Read more »

Member
USN-RETIRED
October 7, 2010 6:25 pm

Last name? Maybe she was afraid people would mistake her for Rosanne Rosanadana. Uh….. never mind.

Guest
Guggenheim
October 7, 2010 9:35 am

No matter her name or how you spell it, the photo above reveals that she sucks.

Guest
Bat doo-doo
October 7, 2010 6:44 am

Do the Democrats face a Kristallnacht?

Member
USN-RETIRED
October 7, 2010 6:27 pm

That would surely be a shattering experience.

Guest
Maria
October 7, 2010 6:45 am

She may be “almost cute enough” to be Conservative, but she’s very much classless enough to be a Dimocrat.

Guest
October 8, 2010 9:22 am

Yes Conservative women tend to have the WHOLE package that many liberal women do not have.

Member
October 8, 2010 11:16 am

Yup, beauty AND brains, that’s our KQ!!

Guest
October 9, 2010 5:59 am

*blushing* :-)

Guest
michael
October 7, 2010 6:54 am

she’s perfect for congress! She’ll fit right in. Honestly these photos are tame and shouldn’t hurt her chances. Give her the opportunity to fail miserably like all liberals.

Member
October 7, 2010 7:57 am

Look for her soon on the latest “morons gone wild” offering. (Also known as the US House of Representatives)

Member
redabogado
October 7, 2010 8:09 am

But is she a witch?

Member
USN-RETIRED
October 7, 2010 6:32 pm

She turned me into a newt.

Throw her into the water!!

Member
October 7, 2010 7:36 pm

Build a bridge out of her!

Member
redabogado
October 7, 2010 8:38 pm

So who are you so wise in the way of witches?

Member
USN-RETIRED
October 8, 2010 1:55 pm

You mean you’re one of the few that didn’t see Monty Python’s “Holy Grail”?

Perlcat and I are making references to some of the dialogue in that movie.

Member
October 8, 2010 2:34 pm

I just didn’t want to reply, so people would think I was taking Arthur’s part.

Member
redabogado
October 8, 2010 2:49 pm

Come on squid! That line is directly out of the movie.

Member
USN-RETIRED
October 8, 2010 2:57 pm

Hey, I can’t improve on perfection.

Member
October 8, 2010 5:47 pm

Any movie financed by Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd and featuring Pythons is going to be full of win.

Member
RKae
October 8, 2010 6:51 pm

Read Michael Palin’s recently published diaries. It’s a hoot! The band members from Zep & Floyd went to the premiere of the movie and left pale-faced in horror, thinking, “Good God! What did we just back? That was ridiculous! It’s money down the toilet!”

Member
October 8, 2010 11:17 am

Did you get better?

Member
USN-RETIRED
October 8, 2010 1:56 pm

I got better, but I still have a strange attraction to moths and flies. 😉

Member
drb
October 10, 2010 7:22 am

So does Obama!

Guest
trinity
October 7, 2010 8:29 am

I think she’ll fit in quite nicely with the Dems already in office.

Guest
matthew s harrison
October 7, 2010 8:51 am

funny how they are going after O’Donnell for her ‘witchcraft’ and anti-masturbation campaign, but the lamestream media have nothing to say about this stuff! Hilarious.
So that 16 year old kid with the dick-nose is her husband? That begs the question-how young was she when he got her knocked up?

I love the left!

Member
October 7, 2010 9:12 am

Nah, that is her first ex husband. She couldn’t keep him around with BJ’s. Maybe, like with the caek, the BJ’s were a lie.

Member
DeanH
October 7, 2010 9:00 am

I checked out some of her more serious photos. I gotta say, I’m pretty sure I can tell she has a bundle of knotted serpents in that cranium. She cannot hide that evil intent from anyone with a sense of discernment, even a little bit of one.

Member
October 7, 2010 9:11 am

I don’t think it is serpents — I think it is excrement in her head.

She is a nasty piece of work, though.

Member
November 12, 2010 8:21 pm

You mistook a picture of Michelle Bachman. Talk about snakes behind the eyes. Sort of attractive until you see her face on and then, ugh, scary.

Guest
Philanthropist
October 7, 2010 10:26 am

A very friendly girl apparently.

Admin
October 7, 2010 10:42 am

Here she is working a microphone too.

krystal ball microphone

Member
October 7, 2010 11:00 am

What can I say, the girl has skilz. Needs to open her mouth more, though.

Member
Paden
October 7, 2010 12:28 pm

So her husband wares a nose that looks like a penis to christmans party….And we are sexist for asking?

Is sex and sexuality all that matters to these libs, they all act like dicks..

Member
Jim Stewart
October 7, 2010 12:43 pm

Really? Krystal Ball? That would be a great name for a porn star. There was a radio host in Dallas named Big Dick Hunter and I couldn’t stop laughing every time I heard his name.

Member
DeanH
October 7, 2010 12:48 pm

Or at least an ecdysiasts moniker. Must have been by now.

Member
Ken.ca
October 7, 2010 3:39 pm

Well, for a Democrat at least she dosen’t bark.

Member
Paden
October 7, 2010 7:07 pm

I’m not sure why but something inside me just wants to slap that guy silly.
Maybe because of the dog chain and being led around like a DUMB-BELL or maybe its because he’s just a dickhead.

Member
October 7, 2010 7:39 pm

Although he *does* have a very punchable face…

You have to admit he was getting blown regular. What guy wouldn’t wander around with a stupid look on his face?

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