ElephantPoopCoffeeBeans.jpg
New elephant poop coffee hits high-end cafés. The beans come from a herd of 20 elephants in Thailand which eat coffee beans, then poop them out a day later for human dung beetles to collect. Called Black Ivory Coffee, it costs $500 per pound or $50 per serving. What is it P.T. Barnum said about suckers?

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58 Comments on "New elephant poop coffee hits high-end cafés"

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flashingscotsman
Member
December 11, 2012 10:01 am

I have a question about what’s going on in the photo. If I wanted some elephant poop, and had some elephants to get it from, I think I would pour a nice concrete slab, keep it real clean, and sweep the poop up after the elephant was done. Is there some reason they need to stand at the back of the elephant with a bowl and catch it directly?

JPTravis
Member
December 11, 2012 10:09 am

Do you want fresh coffee or not?

flashingscotsman
Member
December 11, 2012 2:28 pm

Point taken.

Dan
Member
Dan
December 9, 2012 3:25 am

I think I would like to sample the drink that Thailand Clown was consuming the afternoon he watched an elephant drop a #2 – then thought to himself – wonder what that would taste like if you ran it through some hot water with a coffee filter. Now THAT has to be some KIND OF DRINK! :-)

RobertW
Member
December 9, 2012 1:35 pm

that kitten is so cute!

Navyvet2
Guest
Navyvet2
December 8, 2012 6:43 pm

Man, I wouldn’t drink that shit. Badda boom.

JPTravis
Member
December 8, 2012 7:01 pm

That was a crappy pun.

Dan
Member
Dan
December 9, 2012 3:22 am

I shit ye not!! 😉

RobertW
Member
December 9, 2012 5:46 am

that would scarab ull OUT of a china shop.

JPTravis
Member
December 9, 2012 9:25 am

Are you wasted?

Alien
Member
Alien
December 9, 2012 7:35 pm

Scare a bull methinks

drb
Member
drb
December 9, 2012 9:39 am

Our tax dollars are…that’s why government bureaucrats enjoy that brand of coffee…it’s free sh!t to them.

JPTravis
Member
December 9, 2012 11:19 am

A good name for elephant poop coffee would be Boehner Dark Brew.

drb
Member
drb
December 9, 2012 11:59 am

and the cat poop coffee?

RobertW
Member
December 10, 2012 8:46 pm

if the cat poop coffee marketed right you might get a catastrophy

poppajoe49
Member
poppajoe49
December 11, 2012 7:31 am

Or dogpoop?

JPTravis
Member
December 11, 2012 7:00 am

That’s nothing but business school dogma.

JPTravis
Member
December 9, 2012 1:17 pm

Café au Hillary.

RobertW
Member
December 10, 2012 8:33 pm

pffftttt. Air Force coffee lookin’ good about now.

😀

poppajoe49
Member
poppajoe49
December 10, 2012 8:30 pm

Wal Mart coffee looks good compared to this.

flashingscotsman
Member
December 10, 2012 10:19 am

My Maxwell House is looking mighty good right now.

RobertW
Member
December 9, 2012 1:34 pm

caf and calf camel carmel?

drb
Member
drb
December 9, 2012 12:25 pm

uh, it appears there is also monkey poop coffee and bird poop coffee. I get the feeling I might have to get off the java juice…just sayin’

Alien
Member
Alien
December 9, 2012 5:10 pm

Yeah I heard about the monkey poop variant years ago. No worries on accidental consumption though.. The processing is heavily labor intensive, and the sh-t is extremely expensive

CO2Insanity
Admin
December 8, 2012 5:32 pm

Should be great for all those anal liberals.

RedRightBlonde
Member
RedRightBlonde
December 8, 2012 5:31 pm

Clearly a product that will have mass appeal to Libs, as is their obsession with SHIT.

MKR148
Member
MKR148
December 8, 2012 3:28 pm

Austin Powers: Cor! This coffee smells like shit.
Basil: It is shit, Austin.
Austin Powers: Oh, good, then it’s not just me. It’s a bit nutty.

flashingscotsman
Member
December 8, 2012 3:13 pm

I knew there was a reason I don’t go to high end cafes.

poppajoe49
Member
poppajoe49
December 8, 2012 6:18 pm

Makes me glad I don’t drink coffee!

Trickie
Member
Trickie
December 8, 2012 2:59 pm

I wonder if they sell the same brand popcorn

JPTravis
Member
December 8, 2012 3:02 pm

What kind of pop are you looking for?

Trickie
Member
Trickie
December 8, 2012 6:41 pm

recycled corn is green food i like algore to eat

Progressive Hemrrhoid
Member
Progressive Hemrrhoid
December 8, 2012 11:20 am

Don’t let the commiecrats at Starbucks find out someone is selling coffee for $500 a serving.

Dan
Member
Dan
December 8, 2012 11:39 am

You stole my comment, Progressive Hemrrhoid! :-)

Progressive Hemrrhoid
Member
Progressive Hemrrhoid
December 8, 2012 3:06 pm

Sorry about that, but then Starbucks is good at fleecing the public with 8 dollar cups of burned tasting coffee, maybe I shouldn’t give them any more ideas.

Karmaa
Member
Karmaa
December 8, 2012 3:43 pm

Yeah. How the heck did Starbucks ever get popular? Their coffee is horrendous. For GOOD chain coffee, you need to head to Canada and Tim Hortons. The Timmies in the US are not the same. I swear, whatever they put in it up there is amazing!

JPTravis
Member
December 8, 2012 5:13 pm

A few years ago the big chains decided to grab a little of Starbucks business by improving their coffee. Everybody got better, including Dunkin Donuts, but I swear to God the coffee at Burger King is the best. At about a quarter the price of Starbucks.

Sidekick
Member
Sidekick
December 8, 2012 7:18 pm

McDonalds coffee isn’t bad. I admit I like the medium roast Starbucks coffee, Pike Peak.

GhostntheMachine
Member
GhostntheMachine
December 11, 2012 2:24 pm

Just don’t keep it in your lap while driving, stuff comes HOT.

PsychoDad
Guest
December 8, 2012 11:14 am

Er, yeah, thanks, I’ll stick with my Sumatra Mandheling.

sifi
Member
sifi
December 8, 2012 11:08 am

This seems like a take off of the Kopi luwak or civet coffee made from the beans of coffee berries once they have been eaten and excreted by the Asian Civet (cat like animal). Just looked at some pictures. Their poop resembles a Payday candy bar.

JPTravis
Member
December 8, 2012 11:12 am

Oh great, now I can never eat a Payday again.

As for the take-off, I think you’re right. The Canadian entrepreneur said to himself, “How can I make bigger batches of that civet coffee so I can make a shitload of money off suckers? Hey, what if I use elephants instead of civets!?”

poppajoe49
Member
poppajoe49
December 8, 2012 6:16 pm

DAMN! I used to love Paydays!

sifi
Member
sifi
December 9, 2012 4:44 am

I’ll eat a Payday before I drink any of that crappy coffee.

Not so silent
Member
Not so silent
December 8, 2012 10:57 am

Just not the same in the morning, sitting here looking at IHTM with a hot cup of steaming poo…….

Karmaa
Member
Karmaa
December 8, 2012 10:13 am

That’s just disgusting.

I love to cook and I go to the “gourmet” sites – they east the NASTIEST things. It’s like gross = enlightened. Like lamb testicles or food wrapped in cow stomach lining. Then there is the cruelty stuff, like force-feeding geese to make their livers fat for fois gras. I don’t get it – I just can’t imagine that those things taste SOOOOOO great that they are worth the disgusting-ness. *Barf*

JPTravis
Member
December 8, 2012 10:15 am

What do you suppose the long-term effect of feeding elephants a high-caffeine diet will be?

Bonfire of the Absurdities
Member
December 8, 2012 11:11 am

Bloomberg will ban any cups of $500 coffee more than 16ozs – it causes EBT cards to explode.

wingater
Member
wingater
December 8, 2012 10:28 am

I wouldn’t want to sleep with an elephant that tossed and turned all night.

PsychoDad
Guest
December 8, 2012 11:13 am

Eating coffee beans does NOT make an elephant restless and difficult to sleep with!

Well? Have you ever slept with a restless elephant?

Sidekick
Member
Sidekick
December 8, 2012 11:18 am

Once in college. I was really drunk and she looked good at first.

Karmaa
Member
Karmaa
December 8, 2012 3:40 pm

Is that like coffee-goggles?

sifi
Member
sifi
December 8, 2012 11:50 am

Pink elephant?

CO2Insanity
Admin
December 8, 2012 11:34 am

How do you know an elephant is in bed with you? You can smell the peanuts breath.

Sidekick
Member
Sidekick
December 8, 2012 11:37 am

What’s the difference between a Wellesley girl and an elephant?

About three pounds.

How do you even out the difference?

Force feed the elephant.

JPTravis
Member
December 8, 2012 11:16 am

“Have you ever slept with a restless elephant?”

Just once. They settle down nicely after you stroke their trunk for a while.

PsychoDad
Guest
December 8, 2012 11:29 am

Eh eh eh!

Big Al
Member
Big Al
December 8, 2012 9:54 am

And they say that the Republican brand has no appeal.

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