Prius driver goes insane, wastes gasoline

by editor on May 28, 2010


Get your Prius today, because they're going fast!

Timothy Hird is about to become a legend within the Royal Society of Arrogant Prius Owners. Despite his imminent fame, it’s a tragic tale and something we wouldn’t wish on the most liberal of liberals. has the details:

Timothy Hird of Winder, Georgia was so sick of people pushing around hybrid drivers he attempted to race a non-hybrid Honda Civic to “prove how fast his Prius could go.” The stunt landed the beleaguered Prius owner in jail.

It happened last week near Braselton, Georiga when the Prius driver was leaving a Publix supermarket. According to the police report, the driver of the Civic pulled out in front of Hird. This was the last straw for the Prius driver. He sped up to meet the Civic and yelled “Watch this!” at the Civic’s female passenger and started harassing them by tapping on the brakes and blocking their car. Eventually, the Civic driver tried to pass the hybrid and nearly wiped out into a police car.

Both drivers were promptly arrested and charged with reckless driving, though the Prius driver probably would have been happier with a speeding ticket.

The real drama in this situation will occur at next month’s meeting of the Royal Society of Arrogant Prius Owners. Will they shun Hird for wasting our precious oil resources? Or salute him for standing up for the honor of their much-maligned hybrids?

The world awaits the decision.


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I wish they’d shown a picture of the pencil neck, metro man.

matthew s harrison
matthew s harrison

The newsies have this all wrong. The prius driver was trying to get to the gay pride parade-and that is why he was driving so recklessly!


I’m surprised the snob was shopping at a Publix and not World Market…

And I agree the girl shouldn’t have been arrested–that’s crazy.

this is my new name
this is my new name

this is bullshit, the civic driver’s charges should be dropped….and then given the the prius driver


“he attempted to race a non-hybrid Honda Civic to “prove how fast his Prius could go.”

You know, this really made me laugh out loud. I think of a liberal manchild, sick of being kicked around by the bigger kids, finally loosing it. I see the look of determination on the guys face (almost childlike – like that look Charlie Brown used to get on his face when concentrating – you know with the toung sticking out). I see his face growing angry. I see the pouting. Whaaa Whaaa His Birkenstocke’d foot presses on the accelrator, his body somewhat pushe’ed back into the seat as the car accelerates, the poped collars of his LL Bean polo shirt flapping in the wind … He drives as he has always dreamed of in his Walter Mitty fantasies as he cuts off and harasses the poor Civic owner…

“Criminey” he thinks. That extra tofu and organic produce I bought is weighing the ol girl down. Wait, is referring to my auto as a female sexist? Hundreds of thoughts flow through his mind at once, making use of all of his dialectic thinking power. What a contradiction, he thinks. Here am I, an ecophilic driver wasteing ebnergy in a road race.

Oh man, I am still laughing.

OK I’ll stop.

(And yes, I cannot spell it used to piss off Sister Terrence when I was in the 6th grade)