Top 10 neologisms that define the left

For some time now the left has attempted to influence public thinking by introducing terms into the popular lexicon. We respond with some neologisms of our own.

jay-carney

For some time now the left has attempted to influence public thinking by introducing terms into the popular lexicon. The theory, apparently, is that once society at large has adopted these terms into general usage untold millions may start to associate negative feelings with the things the left wants them to have negative feelings about. In this way the debate is won before the debate has even begun.

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An example of this phenomenon would be the use of the term “swift-boating” to refer to a candidate being unfairly destroyed by false or spurious accusations. Never mind the fact that the only thing false and spurious about the Swift Boat Affair was John Kerry’s outlandish stories, the term has been coined and – it is hoped – a generation from now Kerry’s sorry reputation will be redeemed because of it.

Another example would be the term “nixonian.” Now we’ve no particular love for Tricky Dick but how is it fair to use a term like that when Kennedy, Johnson, Clinton and Obama have been far more “nixonian” than Nixon ever was.

Unwilling to let this slight go unanswered IHateTheMedia.com is responding with some neologisms of our own. Ten of them to be precise:

joe-kennedy – The act of lobotomising your children because their behavior has embarrassed you.

Example: After years of warnings the Carney’s finally had to joe-kennedy their unruly child. Little Jay was never the same again.

ted-kennedy – The act of drowning your troubles.

May be used figuratively: I’m gonna ted-kennedy all my cares with a big bottle of Chivas.

Or literally: When the distinguished Senator from Massachusetts found out his secretary was pregnant he knew he’d have to give her a little ted-kennedy before she had finished making one of her own.

lewinsky – A psychological condition compelling individuals to obsessively clean door handles.

Example: I asked her how long she planned on keeping up this ridiculous lewinsky, but she never stopped polishing my knob long enough to answer.

napolitano – excrement

Example: Four hours after her private meeting with President Obama, Katie Couric still had a little napolitano on her nose.

pelosi – Plastic surgery. Usually, but not always, referring to a face lift.

Example: If Arianna Huffington has any more pelosis it will look like she’s growing a goatee.

biden – The condition of being impossibly stupid.

Example: Barack was amazed that Michelle had bought his story about Reggie Love “just checking my prostrate for lumps”. Not even Biden was that biden.

armitage – To reveal a secret about someone while avoiding all culpability in the matter.

Example: Everybody assumed it was Perez Hilton that had outed Anderson Cooper. But in reality no one knew who the real armitage was.

rather – To knowingly use false documents for political, professional or financial gain.

Example: Barney Frank swore to the officers that he hadn’t known that the young man was using a rathered ID.

obama – To take what is not yours through the threat of physical coercion.

Example: Everybody put your hands up, this is an obama!

clinton – To engage in sexual intercourse with someone against their will.

Example: On the evening of March 29, 1991 William Kennedy Smith clintoned a woman named Patricia Bowman. Luckily for Ms. Bowman she escaped young William’s clutches before he could ted-kennedy her as well.

– Written by Kip Hooker @ TheVitaminPress.com

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