Top 15 Little-Known Facts About Muammar Gaddafi’s Virgin Female Bodyguards

by editor on March 1, 2011

It’s no secret that Muammar Gaddafi is nuttier than the proverbial fruitcake. The way he dresses and the things he says just aren’t what anyone would call normal. And while lots of world leaders find themselves surrounded by beautiful women, Gaddafi puts his in uniform and calls them his Virgin Bodyguard Squad.

IHateTheMedia.com’s team of crack reporters ferreted out these fifteen little known and undoubtedly untrue facts about the Virgin Bodyguards:

gaddafis-virgin-bodyguards

Muammar Gaddafi's vaunted Virgin Bodyguard Squad

15. The captain of the squad is solely responsible for the grooming and trimming of Muammar’s ’70s-era porn actor ‘stache.

14. Turn-over is rapid in the Virgin Bodyguard Squad, especially after those late-night drinking binges at Muammar’s palace.

13. Last year, a group of Virgin Assassins attempted to kill Gaddafi, but the Virgin Bodyguard Squad gave each assassin an atomic wedgie, defusing the hostile situation.

12. One of the oldest members of the Virgin Bodyguards was tossed out of the squad recently when it was discovered that she was a virgin because she was just really ugly.

11. All Virgin Bodyguard Squad members must complete rigorous training in Jiu-Jitsu, Tang Soo Do, Judo and lap dancing.

10. When the squad’s religious leader is selected each year, she must personally prove to Gaddafi that she’s ready to assume the missionary position.

gaddafi virgin bodyguards

Is Muammar Gaddafi crazy? Hmmmm. We're not so sure.

9. Particularly good virgin bodyguards are kept on the team even after being labeled “virgin-ish.”

8. The phrase “Look at the bazookas on that one” has multiple meanings in Gaddafi’s inner circle.

7. The prize for winning Guard of the Month is two nights with Muammar (the losers get three nights).

6. Transsexuals DO have a place in Islam!

5. The mandatory midnight pillow fights frequently end up in the E.R.

4. Rule #28 of the Guard Code requires that each virgin must have the ability to touch her nose with her tongue.

3. Those aren’t DD breasts, it’s body armor 🙁

2. During a recent Scrabble game, the Virgins discovered a previously-unknown 15th way to spell “Gaddafi.”

And the number one little known fact about Muammar Gaddafi’s Virgin Bodyguard Squad:

1. They are ALL liars.

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26 Comments on "Top 15 Little-Known Facts About Muammar Gaddafi’s Virgin Female Bodyguards"

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Ishmael
Guest
Ishmael
March 31, 2012 12:00 pm

Typical comments from a fallen people. It won’t be long devils.

PsychoDad
Guest
PsychoDad
March 31, 2012 1:49 pm

HAHAHAHAHA!!

لا إله إلا الله, وأن المسيحيين هو النبي محمد بين الشيطان

Mohammed, Piss Be Upon him.

KimmyQueen
Guest
KimmyQueen
March 31, 2012 12:42 pm

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Right back at ya boyo…

FormerlyDeanH
Guest
FormerlyDeanH
March 31, 2012 12:42 pm

It will be short devils then?

KimmyQueen
Guest
KimmyQueen
March 31, 2012 12:43 pm

LOL

Sidekick
Member
Sidekick
March 31, 2012 12:11 pm

Boy, I’d really like to address that threat directly. Too bad.

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Top 15 Little-Known Facts About Muammar Gaddafi’s Virgin Female ……

[…]While lots of world leaders find themselves surrounded by beautiful women, Gaddafi puts his in uniform and calls them his Virgin Bodyguard Squad.[…]…

The Road Warrior
Member
The Road Warrior
March 21, 2011 8:16 am

Did I see Michelle in there? Couldn’t be. She was the ugly one. Jeremiah Wright brought her back to Chicago after his visit.

anon
Member
anon
March 1, 2011 11:38 am

“Q”; guess how many guy’s are thinking – ” just how ‘crazy’ would i have to be? – would i still be ‘sane’ enough to enjoy it? – would i live long enough to enjoy it? – ”would i have to be as ‘cruel/nasty’ too, or – could i be really ‘nice’ and keep the job? [ about being able to ‘exchange’ places with Gaddafi – so as, to have the ‘virgin female bodyguards’ at their beck and call ]

Grammar Fuhrer
Member
Grammar Fuhrer
March 1, 2011 11:09 am

This guy makes Kim Jong Il look sane.

ihatecnn
Guest
ihatecnn
March 1, 2011 3:41 pm

I don’t know if I’d go THAT far.

Wes
Guest
Wes
March 1, 2011 8:14 am

I gotta be honest… if I was the leader of a country, I’d probably have a Virgin Bodyguard Squad too.

KimmyQueen
Guest
March 2, 2011 10:35 am

I hear you. I would have no problems with virginal good looking buff young men to protect me, however seeing how the world operates I would say it will be impossible for that to be a reality even if I was rich and/or important enough to want a virgin good looking man squad.

I sincerely doubt that if they are virgins when they get there, they stay virgins for very long.

perlcat
Member
March 2, 2011 7:26 pm

Actually, no thanks. Me, I prefer people that I can relate to.

There’s too much of a premium on inexperience, and not enough of a premium on character.

TeriDavisNewman
Member
March 2, 2011 4:59 am

I can’t fault Wes for wanting a Virgin Bodyguard squad–what man wouldn’t–and I salute him for admitting it. LOL

DeanH
Member
DeanH
March 1, 2011 6:30 pm

Yup. I concur. I thought the exact same thing while getting my magnifying glass to check a little closer on that virgin in the middle of the last pic. Then I noticed rule 6 right there next to the pic and sort of startled for a second… Nah. Couldn’t be, well, maybe. Damn it!

perlcat
Member
March 1, 2011 8:31 am

Yeah, but the missus will never go for it.

whiskeyriver
Guest
whiskeyriver
March 2, 2011 7:14 pm

I gotta agree with Wes. The bonus is I ain’t got a missus to worry about!

hisham
Guest
hisham
March 1, 2011 9:30 am

“Yeah, but the missus will never go for it.”

Say something really vile and stupid, invite a presidential fly-over, that’ll take care of the missus…problem solved. Take it away Wes!

JustAl
Member
JustAl
March 1, 2011 8:07 am

Can you imagine the party he and Kim could have had if he’d taken a state visit to N. Korea???

CO2Insanity
Admin
March 1, 2011 6:50 am

Libya’s version of Hugh Hefner. Maybe Hugh will let him move into the Playboy Manson for while. They can share the Viagra.

rs
Member
March 1, 2011 6:06 am

With an old reprobate like Gaddafi around, how long do you think they remained virgins?

Big Al
Member
Big Al
March 1, 2011 5:35 am

It sounds like Bunga Bunga with Colonel Whacko Jacko at NeverReality Ranch.

KimmyQueen
Guest
March 1, 2011 3:56 pm

That was hilarious!

Dave
Member
Dave
March 1, 2011 12:08 pm

….still laughing

nuke
Member
nuke
March 1, 2011 3:58 am

It’s good to be the king, er… dictator.

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