Tomahawk.jpg
After firing hundreds of them into Libya, Obama cancels Tomahawk missile program. And the Hellfire program, too. No more Tomahawks for the Navy and no more Hellfires for the Navy. The U.S. Navy will have to glare menacingly and issue sternly-worded statements from now on.

{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }

Joe Redfield March 25, 2014 at 7:49 am

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Of course the Armed Forces will have to cut back on weapons – the money to pay for Grandma’s Social Security cost of living raise has to come from somewhere.

poppajoe49 March 26, 2014 at 5:24 am

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Yea, that huge $1.80 a month is really strapping the government.

GhostntheMachine March 25, 2014 at 8:00 am

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I was just posting a different link to the Divine Ms M on another thread, hit submit, and see on the front page I’ve been bested again. (by 4 minutes) I should be used to it by now. Why you guys make the big $ ;)

JPTravis March 25, 2014 at 11:34 am

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Yes, the big dollars. Uh huh. By the way, I recently asked for a 50% raise from the IHTM Editor and he said no problem. That’s how good I am.

poppajoe49 March 26, 2014 at 5:27 am

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50% of nothing is pretty easy to do.

JPTravis March 26, 2014 at 6:32 am

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I know. I should have asked for more.

Red Robster March 30, 2014 at 2:34 pm

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you need the trunk monkey to negotiate for better pay there JP

Extirpates March 25, 2014 at 8:07 am

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As an alternative to these weapons systems, the Navy will employ strongly worded faxes at a lower cost.

poppajoe49 March 26, 2014 at 5:28 am

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And they will have King Barky’s signature on them.

redabogado March 25, 2014 at 8:08 am

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I shouldn’t be sharing this top secret info with you but Sh*t-4-Brains Obama has developed the new and menacing “red-line” missile which once deployed will bring adversaries to their knees. (with laughter of course)

JPTravis March 25, 2014 at 8:14 am

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Sounds like a great idea: a missile that paints a red line on the ground. That way Obama and Kerry don’t have to waste their valuable time verbally drawing lines.

Cripes, I bet I can cobble something together with my drone and a can of spray paint, get myself a defense contract, and make myself rich. I’ll paint the drone green so I can claim it’s a “green” drone without technically lying.

Not so silent March 25, 2014 at 8:13 am

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Next our military will be given rocks and bottles to throw and the Hamas folks will be invited over to train the military……

StrinaM March 25, 2014 at 8:18 am

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We can throw puppies like the Palestinians.

Not so silent March 25, 2014 at 8:20 am

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The Palestinians are a bunch of sick folks….being led around by the nose by Islamic extremists….I saw the story on puppies..make me want to throw a Palestinian off a tall building, and put him in a bag first….

StrinaM March 25, 2014 at 8:37 am

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You’d be nice enough to put him in a bag, first?

Not so silent March 25, 2014 at 8:59 am

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That way the terrorist won’t know when the bag is going to hit and adds a little more excitement to the plan…..Plus if you fill the bag with poo, it would make it even more fun….

StrinaM March 25, 2014 at 9:01 am

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LMAO!

Red Robster March 25, 2014 at 9:29 am
redabogado March 25, 2014 at 1:50 pm

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Make sure it is pig shiite…..

stargazer711 April 5, 2014 at 3:30 pm

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Good idea, the bag will keep from getting messy terrorist blood and guts all over the nice clean street. Also make it easier to dispose of the islamist scum and send him on the way to meet those 72 virgins.

Bonfire of the Absurdities March 25, 2014 at 9:20 am

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Maybe the Navy can drop iPods with Obama’s “best” speeches on the non-friends. That may not cause any damage but it will enrich Obama’s cronies at companies like Apple.

JPTravis March 25, 2014 at 11:36 am

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I’m pretty sure those are outlawed by the Geneva Convention as WMDs – Weapons of Mass Delirium.

stargazer711 April 5, 2014 at 3:48 pm

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Might bore the enemy to death. I tend to fall asleep during his speeches, unless I think fast enough to hit the remote and avoid listening to his endless stream of lies and mindless drivel.

On second thought, this would probably violate the Geneva convention.

Probably more cruel than chemical warfare.

poppajoe49 March 26, 2014 at 5:38 am

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Then they will issue paper wrapped straws, so they can make spitballs.

StrinaM March 25, 2014 at 8:18 am

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This angers me beyond words! It’s not like there aren’t any unsuccessful military programs to gut, right? Let’s cancel the highly successful ones to castrate the military he hates. THIS is the reason I feel the President should have had to have served to be eligible.

Big Al March 25, 2014 at 9:09 am
deepthinker March 25, 2014 at 9:28 am

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Just FRICKING great. The Russian Bear is out prowling around and quagmire with Hagel are cutting some of the most effective weapons that the Navy has. Geez and I thought Carter was a wimp and puss. quagmire is nothing but a chicken shit communist pretending to be a leader.

andre53 March 25, 2014 at 9:54 am

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“The U.S. Navy will have to glare menacingly and issue sternly-worded statements from now on”

Don’t forget finger-wagging. Clinton had a lot of success with that.

JPTravis March 25, 2014 at 11:39 am

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He had a lot of success wagging things but fingers is third on the list. And cigars is second.

CO2Insanity March 25, 2014 at 11:47 am

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Obama is busy interviewing French Admirals who’s only duty will be to say “Je me rends” when the shit hits the fan.

That Guy March 25, 2014 at 3:01 pm

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Sadly, the Tomahawk is actually fairly outdated and we should have moved onto a newer system a long time ago. We don’t have a single supersonic cruise missile (550 mph max speed) while both China and Russia have several. Even France is developing one.

And speaking of developing cruise missiles, Russia and India are jointly developing a hypersonic (Mach 5+) platform. It’s called the BrahMos-II, has an expected range of about 180 miles and can hit a top speed of mach 7. Basically, it outclasses anything we even have in development by an order of magnitude. The truth is we haven’t put any significant effort into missiles since the end of the Cold War, across the board. Air to air, surface to air, ground to ground, ship to ship; we lag in every category.

JPTravis March 25, 2014 at 5:12 pm

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But you don’t cancel your current weapon until you have the next weapon ready to go. This is eerily similar to the space shuttle situation – Obama cancels what we have and we are left with nothing. According to the article, the replacement for the Tomahawk won’t be ready for at least ten years. The disgusting part of this whole story is the way this nincompoop wasted a good share of the Tomahawks we had in Libya, an intervention which has now officially been classified as an exercise in futility, international observers having determined the country is completely dysfunctional.

That Guy March 25, 2014 at 7:30 pm

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Wasn’t arguing that point. I was saying that we’ve been fighting insurgents so long that we have neglected to prepare our armed forces to face a modern foe. Russia leads us in torpedo tech (the VA-111 Shkval supercavitation torpedo can hit speeds of 230 mph while ours can’t hit a third of that), infantry weapons (the AK-12 has some really neat features the M4 can only wish it had), anti-ship missiles, and a bunch of other areas along with the aforementioned cruise missile tech. Artillery is a wash, and there are several nations with armored vehicles more or less as good as ours. We do still lead in quality of training, systemology (we’re the only nation that can reliably field supercarriers), aircraft (the F-22 can wipe anything out of the sky and, problems aside, the F-35 isn’t a bad bird), overall reliability or systems, and other high tech systems. It sucks, but it’s what happens when we spend 13 years fighting 2+ wars while other nations can sit back and spend their defense budgets on R&D.

JPTravis March 25, 2014 at 8:20 pm

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Yeah, you and I are on the same page. The problem with the F-22 is that Obama cancelled that, too. Not since the first half of World War II have American soldiers had to fight without air superiority. It’s going to be a shock when they find out we no longer have it. The F-22 is great, but between down time and maintenance and trying to cover the whole damn world, there aren’t enough of them. Thanks to Clinton and the espionage pipeline to the Chinese, they’re starting to build airplanes that can knock F-16s out of the air. Then what? You can’t even get F-22s into the hot spot where you want them unless you can refuel them in flight, but refueling in flight only works if you have air superiority. What are we going to do, smuggle F-22s into action on oil tankers under tarps? A whole lot of things the American military takes for granted will no longer work without air superiority. I can imagine the discussions when they were talking about cancelling the F-22: “We don’t use them! We project power with the Navy, not our fighters!” But now, no Tomahawks, ships being taken out of service, carrier groups parked, we don’t have that, either. An enemy would be hard pressed to design a better plan for destroying American power than Obama is implementing, whether on purpose or through sheer stupidity.

poppajoe49 March 26, 2014 at 5:42 am

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They also sidelined the SR-71 Blackbird, which I believe is still the fastest jet on Earth. It is a great spy/recon ship, and they are also going to sideline the U-2.

JPTravis March 26, 2014 at 6:35 am

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That last one was cancelled by accident. Obama was walking by a long line of weapons saying, “That one is cancelled. That one is cancelled…” When he came to the U-2 he stopped and said, “U-2,” and the generals misunderstood.

RocknRoll Don March 26, 2014 at 4:18 pm

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I think obummer plans on using unicorn farts

RocknRoll Don March 26, 2014 at 4:36 pm

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Not to mention the new Borei-class ballistic missle submarines. The first new boomers in 18 years. Boomers have one function: make a lot of people dead very quickly.

They use pump-jet propulsion instead of screws

Trickie March 25, 2014 at 4:29 pm

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obama is just pissed the Redskins didn’t change their name so he’s going after slang named things, next will be no more Geronimo when jumoing

RocknRoll Don March 26, 2014 at 4:17 pm

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obummer to follow vlady lead and one up him. U.S. to become smaller than a regional power.