The world is saved. Now there’s a website that teaches you how to recycle your sex toys to save the planet.
Let’s just let SexToyRecycling.com speak for itself, because lord knows we couldn’t come up with anything nearly this creative:
Recycling your sex toys is just one way you can combine your passion in the bedroom with your love for the environment. Here are some other ecologically responsible alternatives.
Glass or metal sex toys are eco-friendly, durable, and often beautifully designed. Their production process is relatively non-toxic and has little environmental impact, and they will outlast their rubber counterparts many times over. Other accessories like paddles are available in recycled rubber and sustainably harvested, ecologically treated wood.
You can decrease the use of petroleum and its derivatives by using organic lubes and massage oils. Also, when buying lingerie or fetish wear, avoid petroleum derived synthetic materials like polyester and nylon in favor of natural fibers such as cotton and silk. If you have a battery-powered vibrator, buy a set of rechargeable batteries; standard batteries contain extremely toxic and corrosive chemicals.
If you need a sex toy there may be one closer than you think, in your refrigerator or around the house. Fruits and vegetables like bananas and cucumbers make a simple and inexpensive substitute for a dildo. Many common items like electric toothbrushes or hairbrush handles can also be used for pleasure. And with a little imagination and ingenuity, you can create improvised sex toys and give a second life to materials like plastic bags, shampoo bottles, toilet paper tubes, and rubber gloves.
The website’s “About Us” page is even more enlightening:
Our vision was inspired by an open trash bin full of discarded sex toys. Dildos, vibrators, and anal toys – an entire collection – had been thrown away with other rubbish. What a waste. What if there was some way to recycle sex toys that people didn’t want any longer? This is how the idea for Sex Toy Recycling was born.
WTF? What kind of neighborhood do they live in where the trash bins are full of discarded sex toys?
Sign us up. Because we’re really eager to use someone stranger’s discarded anal toy.
(To tell the truth, we’re not even sure what an anal toy is, but we suspect that the asses who run SexToyRecycling.com are intimately familiar with the subject.)