The greenies would have you believe that they are superior in both mind and spirit. But based on these ideas to save the planet, maybe they should just concentrate on being superior of spirit.
10. Stay married. For better or worse.
Australian Senator Steve Fielding told a Senate hearing that divorce leads to a “resource-inefficient lifestyle” and that the planet would benefit if couples stayed married. Maybe that’s why the Clintons are still together.
9. Share a room with the Father, Son and Holy Ghost
According to an article in the Irish Times, “Ireland’s Catholic bishops … said the public should adopt a simpler lifestyle to help the planet.” Hey, wait just a darn sec. Doesn’t that contradict #10?
8. Sock it to global warming
During an interview on the BBC, sculptor Antony Gormley said, “Dispense with your socks … this is a time of global warming. Through our feet we can begin to feel it.” Walk a mile in Al Gore’s shoes.
7. Fido Stroganoff
Brenda and Robert Vale, a couple of whacked out New Zealand professors, suggest that you should swap your cats and dogs for pets you can eat. Chickens, for example. Or rabbits. You can find their outstanding advice is in their new book calledTime to Eat the Dog: The real guide to sustainable living. If we were smart, we’d get ahead of the trend and do a cookbook.
6. A new kind of green movement
An Iowa company called Wallypop introduced reusable cloth toilet wipes. We predict that their main competitor will be Sheryl Crow fans who believe in using just one square per…uhhh…session.
5. The sky’s the limit
According to the Daily Mail UK, “A Japanese airline has started asking passengers to go to the toilet before boarding in a bid to reduce carbon emissions. All Nippon Airways claims that empty bladders mean lighter passengers, a lighter aircraft and thus lower fuel use.” In other words, take a pee before you take off.
4. Rent your clothes. Seriously.
The geniuses at Britain’s Waste & Resources Action Program have come out against closets full of rarely worn clothes. It’s environmentally unacceptable, you should start renting your clothes instead of buying them. Yeah, but what happens if you don’t return your rented clothes. Do you get an eviction notice?
3. Kill Bill. And everyone else.
A group of Sydney academics published a paper that said, “This paper sets out, as a thought experiment, the possibility of humanity’s willing extinction as a solution to a growing ecological problem.” Please, be our guest Mr. Gore.
2. Better living through better batter
Brits Simon and Damiana Hare reveal that they’ll go through Britain’s predicted bitterly cold winter without heating their cottage. But if it gets too cold for their infant daughter, they say, “We can heat the house by making a second batch of pancakes.” Mmmmm. Ecological and delicious!
1. Greenpiece
According to an ITN News report, “A Berlin brothel is fighting climate change and the recession by offering a discount to those clients who arrive by bicycle.” Women who are used to peddling their asses are now pedaling them.
Source: Andrew Bolt
