News 2 – Page 10 – I HATE THE MEDIA ™

Democrats to the evil Koch brothers: “Hate you, love your money.”

The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee (DSCC) has regularly demonized the Koch brothers in its fundraising appeals and emails to supporters, despite the fact it accepted $30,000

Once upon a time, “evil” offered “good” money to try and corrupt it. Now, “good” calls “evil” and asks it for a donation. At least, that’s the inference we made after hearing what the progressively deteriorating minds at the DSCC are up to.

koch-protest — Democrats define quarantine as the act of separating the evil Koch brothers from their sweet, pure, wonderful money

Commentary Magazine has the details:

…the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee (DSCC) has regularly demonized the Koch brothers in its fundraising appeals and emails to supporters, despite the fact it accepted $30,000 from the Kochs’ PAC [for the 2010 campaign]. [For the 2012 cycle] the DSCC had the audacity to try to solicit money from the Koch brothers yet again.

[Sen. Patty Murray (D-WA)] apparently went so far as to leave the Kochs a voicemail, suggesting if they contribute generously, they might have a chance to join prominent Democratic senators at an island retreat in the fall.

We infer if the Kochs attend, the Democrat bigwigs would hold a group denouncement, after making sure their check cleared, of course.

Alan Goodman of Commentary speculates:

(a) The DSCC is so money-hungry and morally corrupt it will even solicit money from donors that it describes as having “a pattern of lawbreaking, political manipulations and obfuscation”;
(b) The DSCC realizes the Koch brothers are perfectly upstanding people, but it continues to dishonestly smear them because these attacks galvanize its grassroots support base; or
(c) The DSCC and Sen. Murray are so clueless they had no idea who they were hitting up for a major donation.

We would say there’s another possibility:

(d) All of the above.

– Written by Bonfire of the Absurdities

Source: Commentary Magazine

Why we want to have Marco Rubio’s baby: “We don’t need new taxes, we need new taxpayers”

“We don’t need new taxes. We need new taxpayers, people that are gainfully employed, making money and paying into the tax system.”

Here’s Florida Republican Marco Rubio speaking Thursday on the floor of the United States Senate. We love what he says and how he says it. We love his suit, his hair, his boyish smile.

Oh, crap. This must be what Chris Matthews means when he says Obama gives him a thrill up his leg.

“We don’t need new taxes. We need new taxpayers, people that are gainfully employed, making money and paying into the tax system. Then we need a government that has the discipline to take that additional revenue and use it to pay down the debt and never grow it again.”

Have your way with us, Marco. Treat us like the dirty little groupies we are.

http://youtu.be/zAsgFcFj0ls

What does Google know about sex that we don’t know?

The geniuses at Google have developed a new sex, because in addition to being offered the same old boring choices of “Male” and “Female.”

IHTM’s Administrator is a techie, an early adopter, which explains why he signed up for the Google+1, the search giant’s new social network, as soon as it launched.

Reviews of the Facebook competitor have been harsh. For example, Business Insider said, “There’s almost nothing original with Google+.”

But that’s not true. When you sign up for the new Google+, you get the attached question on gender.

Apparently, the geniuses at Google have developed a new sex, because in addition to being offered the same old boring choices of “Male” and “Female,” they now offer you the option to select “Other”.

Our best guess? They expect Richard Simmons to sign up.

Source: Business Insider

The definition of insanity: California paid one prison psychiatrist $838,706 in 2010

California may be bankrupt, but the inmates who run the asylum saw fit to pay one prison psychiatrist more than $800,000 last year.

The Editor and the Administrator have a neighbor who’s a psychiatrist in the California state prison system. He’s a great guy, but we’re going to be pissed if we find out this story is about him.

charles-manson — If this prison psychiatrist is really worth $838,706 why is Charles Manson still crazy?

Bloomberg has the crazy details:

The chief psychiatrist for California’s overcrowded prison system was paid $838,706 in 2010, more than any other state employee that year, payroll figures released today show.

Note how Bloomberg casually throws in the word “overcrowded” as if it’s relevant to the story and somehow justifies the exorbitant salary.

The doctor, whose name wasn’t released, had a salary range of $261,408 to $308,640, according to data released today by California Controller John Chiang. The total compensation was raised by bonuses or payout of unused vacation time, according to the controller’s office.

Bonuses? For $800K this guy should have cured Charles Manson, Richard Ramirez and Scott Peterson and then driven over to Nevada to cure O.J. Simpson.

Nah, that still wouldn’t have been worth $800K.

Source: Bloomberg

Your tax dollars at work: Obama stimulus blew $7 million per house on broadband

Some might say $7 million per home seems a bit pricey, but to those cynics we say money is no object when it comes to bringing high speed porn to rural areas of this fine nation.

redneck-relatives — Cletus and Clem, the Editor's redneck relatives in rural Montana, will love President Obama's high speed internet as soon as they get electricity

Forbes.com has the disturbing details:

Eisenach and Caves looked at three areas that received stimulus funds, in the form of loans and direct grants, to expand broadband access in Southwestern Montana, Northwestern Kansas, and Northeastern Minnesota. The median household income in these areas is between $40,100 and $50,900. The median home prices are between $94,400 and $189,000.

$94,000 for a house? Hell, that may be the real story in this story. $94K isn’t even a down payment here in California.

So how much did it cost per unserved household to get them broadband access? A whopping $349,234, or many multiples of household income, and significantly more than the cost of a home itself.

Sadly, it’s actually worse than that. Take the Montana project. The area is not in any meaningful sense unserved or even underserved. As many as seven broadband providers, including wireless, operate in the area. Only 1.5% of all households in the region had no wireline access. And if you include 3G wireless, there were only seven households in the Montana region that could be considered without access. So the cost of extending access in the Montana case comes to about $7 million for each additional household served.

Of course, the Obama administration was terribly disappointed by the $7 million figure. They were confident the number would come in much, much higher.

Source: Forbes.com

Putting the stroke in heat stroke: What was USA Today thinking when it published this graphic?

USA Today’s weather page was a little hotter than usual on Friday, July 1. Seems to us this graphic may be a little too graphic.

Apparently staff cutbacks at Gannett are more severe than we thought. They seem to have laid off whoever was responsible for actually looking at illustrations before they run them.

H/T: Daily Caller

Education scam: UC Berkeley admits more out-of-state students because they pay more

The folks at U.C. Berkeley really are geniuses. They’ve come up with a very clever way to fund their leftist utopia. Why, if we didn’t know better, we’d almost think they were money-grubbing capitalists.

The San Francisco Chronicle has the devious details:

welcome-to-california — Out of state students will soon be greeted at the border and escorted to the nearest state university

The number of out-of-state students is soaring at UC Berkeley, with new figures showing more than a quarter of newcomers on campus – freshmen and transfer students – won’t be from California this year. That’s up from 23 percent last year, and 15 percent two years ago.

More important for the campus, the nonresidents pay nearly three times the tuition of in-state students, and will bring in $80 million this year, up from $54 million last year, spokeswoman Janet Gilmore said.

How big is the scam? Well, let’s just say there’s a lot of BS in every BA degree.

… Nonresidents pay about $35,000 for a year at UC, compared with $12,000 for California residents. UC has calculated that every 1 percent increase in nonresident students brings in nearly $1 million. Last year, 6 percent of all undergrads across the system – not just newcomers – were nonresidents. UC’s Board of Regents wants to increase that to 10 percent, although it will be several years before that goal is reached, even with this fall’s new students.

There’s an old saying that every trend begins in California. Universities in other states will soon catch on to this scam. Next thing you know all students in all states will only be accepted at out of state schools.

Sure, it’ll cost parents a small fortune, but their financial pain will surely be assuaged by the knowledge that leftist professors’ salaries and retirement plans will be safe.

H/T: CO2Insanity

Source: SFGate.com

Bobby Jindal recall effort barely fails: Needed 908,000 signatures but fell 907,945 short

An effort begun in January to by unseat Republican Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal has flopped, failed, bombed, fallen flat, washed out.

This may go down as the worst recall effort in history. An effort begun in January to unseat Republican Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal has flopped, failed, bombed, fallen flat, washed out. Get out your thesaurus, because we’ve run out of words to describe it.

ron-ceasar — Hope that black power thing's working out for you better than the recall did, Ron

Nola.com has the details:

Ron Ceasar would have needed to gather more than 908,000 verified signatures by early next week to get a recall election against Jindal. Fewer than five dozen have been registered with the Louisiana secretary of state’s office.

“We would need all of them by the deadline set. We have only 55 at present, and the deadline is July 5th,” Sailor Jackson, a spokesman for Secretary of State Tom Schedler, said Friday.

First time we read the story we thought it must have been a typo and was supposed to have read “55 thousand signatures” or “55 percent of the necessary signatures”. But, no, the total number of signatures was a mere fifty five. Period.

No one has ever successfully gathered enough signatures to get a recall election scheduled against a statewide or parishwide official in Louisiana.

A full-time Ph.D. student at Southern University, Ceasar said he and his supporters brought in more signatures than what is on file with the secretary of state’s office, but he acknowledged the recall election won’t happen.

Ceasar operates his own accounting and tax services company. He has a bachelor’s degree and an MBA. In this case, though, the numbers just don’t add up.

Source: Nola.com

Bizarre interview: British Labour leader gives same answer to every question

No matter what question the BBC interviewer asks, Miliband gives him the same answer. The exact same answer.

A broken robot’s programming goes haywire and he gets stuck repeating the same thing over and over. It’s like a plotline out of a bad episode of Star Trek.

Unfortunately, the robot in this interview is Britain’s Ed Miliband, leader of the country’s leftist Labour Party. No matter what question the BBC interviewer asks, Miliband gives him the same answer. The exact same answer.

It’s almost hypnotic.

http://youtu.be/PZtVm8wtyFI

Theory adjustment time: The same Chinese pollution that causes global warming also causes global cooling

The global warming fanatics are now explaining away a decade of cooler temperatures by blaming it on burning coal.

It’s almost funny. No, it is funny. Very damn funny, in fact. One might even say uproarious.

The same global warming fanatics who told us that burning coal is one of the main causes of global warming are now explaining away a decade of cooler temperatures by blaming it on – you guessed it – burning coal.

coal powered datong plant — Better get yourself a sweater. The Chinese are burning more coal.

The BBC manages to explain it all without even cracking a smile:

The lull in global warming from 1998 to 2008 was mainly caused by a sharp rise in China’s coal use, a study suggests.

The absence of a temperature rise over that decade is often used by “climate sceptics” as grounds for denying the existence of man-made global warming.

But the new study, in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, concludes that smog from the extra coal acted to mask greenhouse warming.

Aha! It must be true because it says so in a study. A study presented in a journal with a very long name. That’s good enough for us and we’re confident that it’s good enough for any reasonable person.

China’s coal use doubled 2002-2007, according to US government figures.

Although burning the coal produced more warming carbon dioxide, it also put more tiny sulphate aerosol particles into the atmosphere which cool the planet by reflecting solar energy back into space.

In other words, the problem is also the solution. If it’s warmer, it’s the result of burning coal. If it’s getting cooler, it’s the result of burning coal.

Global warming theory is like one of those Snuggies you see advertised on late night TV – one size fits all.

Source: BBC

Consensus is the new Bush: Obama to rely more on own instincts

The first 30 months of the Obama era have been less than successful in the same way that being hit by a high-speed train is less than healthful.

Supposedly this was because our previous leader, one George W. Bush, left Mr. Obama with far too many holes to dig his way out of. But recently media telescreens have started droning a new current truth.

obama-brain — The ... uhhhh ... most remarkable brain ... uhhhh ... ever to inhabit the ... uhhhh .. White House

The LA Times channels Big Bother (sic) for us:

In the first two years of Obama’s presidency, his top aides had grown accustomed to a process in which Obama drew out and explored the views of his full team and searched for a consensus — decision by ballot, some called it.

Increasingly, however, that process has changed, according to a wide group of Obama’s personal friends, informal advisors and top aides interviewed during the spring. In recent months, they say, the president has been relying more heavily on his own instincts and feeling less impelled to seek accord among advisors.

The old adage says “A camel is a horse designed by a committee.” Apparently, Mr. Obama’s advisory committee consists of camels and horses.

The president, a man of “great judgment” who picked the gaffe-tastic Joe Biden for a running mate, also picked these advisors.

We’re now supposed to believe that things will improve because Obama will be relying more on said great judgment and not on them. His remarkable intellect, which collapses into an endless streams of “uhhhs” and “ummms” when his teleprompter loses power, will now be called upon to make the decisions.

We hope the camels and horses don’t wander off too far.

– Written by Bonfire of the Absurdities

Source: Los Angeles Times

Bargain hunting Navy buys counterfeit Chinese chips

Unfortunately, we’re not talking about potato chips. We’re talking about the kind of chips that run American guided missiles. Yo, Navy, ever read the tale of the Trojan Horse?

The Business Insider chips away at the story:

Last year, the U.S. Navy bought 59,000 microchips for use in everything from missiles to transponders and all of them turned out to be counterfeits from China.

Wired reports the chips weren’t only low-quality fakes, they had been made with a “back-door” and could have been remotely shut down at any time.

If left undiscovered the result could have rendered useless U.S. missiles and killed the signal from aircraft that tells everyone whether it’s friend or foe.

In other words, a guided missle run by one of these chips is no longer “guided”. Not by our side, anyway.

Apparently foreign chip makers are often better at making cheap microchips and U.S. defense contractors are loathe to pass up the better deal.

Reminds us of the guy afraid to cross a bridge: all he could think of was that the contract to build it went to the lowest bidder.

The problem remains with these “trojan-horse” circuits that can be built into the chip and are almost impossible to detect — especially without the original plans to compare them to.

Suggestion: buy useless junk like Obama’s golf equipment and booze for Nancy’s Pelosi’s 757 from the cheapest source possible but buy important microchips only from reliable vendors.

We’re all for saving money but we’d prefer Obama’s putter fails than a Cruise missile.

– Written by Bonfire of the Absurdities

Source: Business Insider

Laughing at the UN, not with it: North Korea chosen to chair UN disarmament conference

The United Nations again made itself an international laughing stock… by appointing North Korea chair of the U.N. Conference on Disarmament.

The UN is so daffy it would make news the day it didn’t say or do something stupid. Unfortunately, today is not that day. The Weekly Standard relates another “dog bites man” UN story:

kim-jong-il — "Slap me naked," Kim Jong Il said, "if the U.N. ever takes my country seriously."

… the United Nations again made itself an international laughing stock… by appointing North Korea chair of the U.N. Conference on Disarmament. Senator John Kerry [has said North Korea]…has “twice tested nuclear weapons…is developing missiles to carry them…has built facilities capable of producing highly enriched uranium for more nuclear weapons” and has defied a U.N. arms embargo by exporting weapons and sensitive technologies to rogue regimes.

A UN idea so stupid even John Kerry noticed? Not quite.

Alas, Senator Kerry is also one of the lead champions of the United Nations in the Senate. According to the U.N., “The Conference is funded from the UN regular budget, reports to the General Assembly and receives guidance from it.”

If North Korea uses that kind of guidance in their missles, they’ll end up hitting Pyongyang.

The UN is composed of folks with funny names who eat expensive food, basically a bunch of Barack Obamas. There’s gotta be some fancy thinkin’ behind this, right?

North Korea assumes the Conference chairmanship by being the next state in the alphabetical rotation of the 65 members, which include five nuclear weapons states and 60 other countries such as Iran and Syria.

Great, stupidity is on auto-pilot at the UN. What else can go wrong?

…American taxpayers… foot 22 percent of the [UN’s] bill…

Budget hawks, here’s some dead meat to feed on.

– Written by Bonfire of the Absurdities

Source: Weekly Standard

John Lennon a Republican? All we are saying is give GOPs a chance

John Lennon was a closet Republican, who felt a little embarrassed by his former radicalism, at the time of his death – according to the tragic Beatles star’s last personal assistant.

John Lennon a Reagan Republican? Not so easy to Imagine, you say. Not even if you try. Or is it? Had the rebel former Beatle made it to The End of The Long and Winding Road and seen The Inner Light? Was he, in effect, ready to stop hiding his political love away?

lennon-reagan — Yoko Ono's silence on this story leads us to believe it's probably true

For this story, here comes the Toronto Sun:

John Lennon was a closet Republican, who felt a little embarrassed by his former radicalism, at the time of his death – according to the tragic Beatles star’s last personal assistant.

Fred Seaman worked alongside the music legend from 1979 to Lennon’s death at the end of 1980 and he reveals the star was a Ronald Reagan fan who enjoyed arguing with left-wing radicals who reminded him of his former self.

In new documentary Beatles Stories, Seaman tells filmmaker Seth Swirsky Lennon wasn’t the peace-loving militant fans thought he was while he was his assistant.

He says, “John, basically, made it very clear that if he were an American he would vote for Reagan because he was really sour on (Democrat) Jimmy Carter.

Of course, it doesn’t altogether take us by surprise that Lennon might have come around to the side of the real Working Class Heroes.

Now if only those other 535 fools on the Hill could get The Word.

PS – Our apologies for including George and Paul references along with our Lennon ones. We just couldn’t Help it.

– Written by Kip Hooker at TheVitaminPress.com

Source: Toronto Sun

Government Motors’ brand new Chevy Volt already obsolete

“Planned obsolescence” is a term applied to products designed to break easily or to quickly go out of style. GM has taken the concept to new highs (or lows.)

Green Autoblog reveals the Volt’s unplanned obsolesence:

volt-obama — The Volt should be renamed the Obama. Both have run out of energy far sooner than anyone expected.

CNN Money recently had the audacity to call the Volt’s technology “obsolete.”

CNN’s reasoning employs something called “math”: the Prius Plug-in goes 13 miles in electric mode, then swithces to hybird mode for 51 mpg highway and 48 mpg city. The Volt goes 35 miles in electric mode but on gas only 36 mpg highway and 32 mpg city. The raaaacists conclude:

On trips of 13 miles or less, the Prius plug-in and Volt deliver the same all-electric mpg: zero. On trips between 13 miles and 35 miles in length, the Volt beats the Prius. But after 35 miles, the Prius handily outscores the Volt.

Cost is the deciding factor:

…with a base price of $41,000, the Volt ain’t cheap. Pricing for the Prius Plug-In … is expected to start at approximately $28,000, meaning that it will likely undercut the Volt’s MSRP by more than $10,000. Yes, rebates alter that number, but CNN finds it difficult to justify the hefty premium for what amounts to less than 30 miles of added electric-only range.

Just try getting a “rebate.” It’s easier snatching a tamale from Michelle.

The car in which Obama “invested” so much of our tax money and so much his rapidly vanishing credibility is a metaphor for his presidency: A waste of time and money. Obsolete, just like all his other “ideas.”

– Written by Bonfire of the Absurdities

Source: Green Auto

New York Times writer who insulted middle Americans is a former crack addict

We’d never heard of David Carr before this incident. We just assumed he was our moral and intellectual superior because he was (a) a guest on the Bill Maher show.

On last Friday’s Bill Maher show, New York Times columnist David Carr insulted the good people of Middle America by saying, “If it’s Kansas, Missouri, no big deal. You know, that’s the dance of the low-sloping foreheads. The middle places, right?”

To tell you the truth, we’d never heard of David Carr before this incident. We just assumed he was our moral and intellectual superior because he was (a) a guest on the Bill Maher show, and (b) a columnist for the New York Times.

Luckily, Ann Althouse disabused us of that notion by tracking down an autobiographical article Carr wrote for the Times Magazine:

Every addict is formed in the crucible of the memory of that first hit. Even as the available endorphins attenuate, the memory is right there. By 1985, I tried freebasing coke and its more prosaic sibling, crack.

“Crackhead” is an embarrassing line item to have on a résumé. If meth tweakers had not come along and made a grab for the crown — meth makes you crazy and toothless — crackheads would be at the bottom of the junkie org chart. In the beginning, smokable cocaine fills you with childlike wonder, a feeling that the carnival had come to town and chosen your cranium as the venue for its next show. There is only one thing that appeals after a hit of crack, and it is not a brisk walk around the block to clear one’s head. Most people who sample it get a sense of its lurid ambush and walk away.

Many years later, my pal Donald sat in a cabin in Newport, Minn., staring into a video camera I had brought and recalling the crackhead version of me.

Interesting, isn’t it, that someone who is both a crackpot and a crackhead should still be so secure in his own smug sense of superiority?

H/T: Ann Althouse

Whatchu talkin’ ’bout, Willis? Obama says “Government has to start living within its means”

In a similar vein, Dear Leader’s weekly radio address to the nation focused on the need to reduce the nation’s deficit.In the words of the late fiscal zen master Gary Coleman, “Whatchu talkin’ about, Barry?”

When the Editor was a young advertising copywriter, he was asked to give a speech about creativity. He called his first creative director and asked for some samples of funny radio commercials to play during the speech.

A few days later a box of tapes arrived along with a note that said, “It is almost Zen-like that you’re going to speak on that which you have not yet mastered.”

In a similar vein, Dear Leader’s weekly radio address to the nation focused on the need to reduce the nation’s deficit.

In the words of the late fiscal zen master Gary Coleman, “Whatchu talkin’ about, Barry?”

Right now, there are a lot of folks who are still struggling with the effects of the recession. They’re wondering how they’d deal with an unexpected expense if their car breaks down. They’re worried about layoffs. They’re not sure if they can help their kids pay for college. And for many families, these challenges were around long before the recession hit in 2007.

I ran for President because I believed in an America where ordinary folks could get ahead; where if you worked hard, you could have a better life. That’s been my focus since I came into office, and that has to be our focus now. It’s one of the reasons why we’re working to reduce our nation’s deficit. Government has to start living within its means, just like families do. We have to cut the spending we can’t afford so we can put the economy on sounder footing, and give our businesses the confidence they need to grow and create jobs.

“Government has to start living within its means, just like families do.”

Remember that this comes from a guy whose family ran up tremendous debts and hovered on the edge of bankruptcy until the money started rolling in from his first book.

We’d say this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black, but someone would surely accuse us of raaaacism for doing so.

Reverend Wright tells church youth that all whites are liars. Or maybe we’re just lying.

Here’s how this one’s going to work: Reverend Wright, Barack Obama’s spiritual mentor, stands behind the podium and says, “All whites are liars.”

Then, when a video of the speech goes public, the Reverend will say, “I never said that. So that just goes to prove that all whites are liars.”

Here’s step one: Rev. Wright telling church youth over and over again that all whites are liars.

Spiritual mentor, indeed.

http://youtu.be/7hA607AidT8

Al Gore, laughingstock: A look back at his hurricane predictions

Hard to believe, but it was a mere six years ago the Goracle descended from on high to warn mankind that global warming would inevitably lead to more hurricanes and stronger hurricanes.

He foresaw nothing but death and destruction and a little more jingly in his pocket.

al-gore-goracle — Al Gore descended to earth to warn mankind. And to make a few bucks in the process.

CommonDreams.org quotes the Goracle back in 2005:

… the science is extremely clear now, that warmer oceans make the average hurricane stronger, not only makes the winds stronger, but dramatically increases the moisture from the oceans evaporating into the storm – thus magnifying its destructive power – makes the duration, as well as the intensity of the hurricane, stronger.

Last year we had a lot of hurricanes. Last year, Japan set an all-time record for typhoons: ten, the previous record was seven. Last year the science textbooks had to be re-written. They said, “It’s impossible to have a hurricane in the south Atlantic.” We had the first one last year, in Brazil. We had an all-time record last year for tornadoes in the United States, 1,717 – largely because hurricanes spawned tornadoes.

Don’t look now, Al, but Anthony Watts reports that your prediction was about 180 degrees off. Hurricane activity is now near an all-time low.

During the past 6-years since Hurricane Katrina, global tropical cyclone frequency and energy have decreased dramatically, and are currently at near-historical record lows. According to a new peer-reviewed research paper accepted to be published, only 69 tropical storms were observed globally during 2010, the fewest in almost 40-years of reliable records.

Furthermore, when each storm’s intensity and duration were taken into account, the total global tropical cyclone accumulated energy (ACE) was found to have fallen by half to the lowest level since 1977.

Paging Al Gore. Paging Al Gore. The 2011 hurricane season started June 1. Has anyone seen Al Gore lately?

H/T: Andrew Bolt

Hugo Chavez admits he is a cancerous tumor. Oh, wait. He admits he has a cancerous tumor.

We apologize for misreading the news but, c’mon, it was an easy mistake to make. We saw the words “cancer” and “Hugo Chavez” and immediately thought of the man’s history, not his health.

castro chavez — Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez, two particularly aggressive forms of cancer that have caused the deaths of countless South Americans

The Miami Herald has the tale of the terrific tumor:

Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez acknowledged Thursday night that a cancerous tumor caused his three-week hospital stay in Cuba — his first public admission that the illness that has kept him away so long is serious.

He revealed the diagnosis in a 15-minute evening speech, his first since falling ill 21 days ago. He stood thinner and stone-faced at a lectern, dressed in a long-sleeve black shirt with a red T-shirt underneath. From the start of his address, it was obvious that the normally jovial leader was about to reveal something bleak.

…A check-up revealed a pelvic abscess, which was drained and treated with antibiotics on June 11. Despite the favorable results, Chávez said, doctors noticed something worse: an abscessed tumor with cancerous cells. It was completely removed in a second surgery, he said, and he is now undergoing “complementary treatments to address diverse cells which were found.”

He did not clarify, but seemed to be alluding to chemotherapy. He did not disclose the type of cancer nor when the second surgery was performed.

If only it were as easy for the Venezuelan people to remove the cancer with which they’ve been afflicted for the last 15 years.

Source: Miami Herald

Why you’re free to drink beer, eat hot dogs and blow your fingers off with illegal fireworks today

Have you ever read the Declaration of Independence? Today would be a good time to read the most eloquent single page ever written.

Have you ever read the Declaration of Independence? Actually read it from top to bottom?

If you have, today would be a good time to get reacquainted with it. If you haven’t, today would be a good time to read the most eloquent single page ever written.

Enjoy the day with your friends and family, but never forget why you’re not working today.

declaration-of-independence

IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

Continue reading “Why you’re free to drink beer, eat hot dogs and blow your fingers off with illegal fireworks today”

Gaffe-tastic! Smartest president ever doesn’t know how old his daughter is

Let’s pause briefly to think about the howls of derision that would have descended upon George Bush if he had misstated the ages of his daughters.

The media constantly regales us with tales of this President’s massive intellect. They explain away his many mistakes by saying his brain moves so fast that his mouth just can’t keep up.

Even Politico joined the parade Wednesday with this feeble explanation of why the man doesn’t know how old his daughter is:

obama-daughters — President Obama and his daughters, Malia, 27, and Sasha, 19, or something like that

President Obama, who has expressed his fears about his daughter Malia becoming a teenager next month, is apparently dreading her birthday so much that for a brief moment on Wednesday, he thought she had already turned 13.

See, it’s not that he doesn’t know how old his daughter is, it’s that he just can’t bear to think about it.

Let’s pause briefly to think about the howls of derision that would have descended upon George Bush if he had misstated the ages of his daughters.

OK, now let’s proceed.

At a press conference at the White House, Obama suggested that his daughters, who “generally finish their homework a day ahead of time,” could serve as role models for members of Congress.

“Malia’s 13, Sasha’s 10,” the president said, even though 12-year-old Malia still has a few days to go until her July 4 birthday. “It is impressive. They don’t wait until the night before. They’re not pulling all-nighters. They’re 13 and 10.”

Repeating it won’t make it true, President Obama. Kind of like telling us over and over again that the economy is growing thanks to your policies won’t make that true.

Source: Politico

The Most Important Story of the Century

We want to be just like Fox News, so we interrupt our coverage (every minute of the day) for a special report on Casey Anthony.

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There, now we’re just like the hugely disappointing of late, Fox News Channel.

Don’t miss their second Saturday in a row, 4-hour special going on right now.

The system at work: Nigerian with stolen ID eludes TSA

We’ve all heard the term “hiding in plain sight.” Turns out there’s no need to go to that much trouble when the TSA’s gropers and x-ray voyeurs are on the job.

tsa-agent — "No reason to check you, Mr. Noibi. Go right ahead and board the flight for which you're not ticketed."

ABC News explains why:

A foreign national who flew from New York to Los Angeles last week with a stolen boarding pass and ID card has been arrested at Los Angeles International Airport, according to federal authorities.

Olajide Oluwaseun Noibi, a Nigerian-born man who was found with the stolen ID and up to 10 old boarding passes containing various names, was arrested Wednesday after attempting to board a flight from Los Angeles to Atlanta; five days after passing through layers of airport security at New York’s JFK airport to board a plane with a day-old boarding pass.

Noibi managed to get through every layer of security with a fake ID and numerous boarding passes, at least one of which came from another passenger’s pocket, ABC News has learned.

TSA would’ve spotted the guy if he were disguised as a 3 year old girl or a 95-year-old woman in a wheelchair, but this leads us to suspect the surest way for a man-caused disaster maker to avoid detection would be to disguise himself as a man-caused disaster maker.

No harm, no foul. The system still works, correct?

Of course, Noibi may really be a scout, scoping out the weak spots for the guys with the bombs. Time will tell.

But if any toddlers or handicapped women try to pull anything, TSA will be waiting for them.

– Written by Bonfire of the Absurdities

Source: ABC News

First Lady: What is this gay marriage of which you speak?

First lady Michelle Obama’s office on Tuesday quickly shot down the suggestion that she has ever publicly voiced support for same-sex marriage.

We hate to say this, but our faith in human nature has been shattered. Again.

If you can’t trust lying, cheating former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey, who can you trust?

death-glare-michelle-obama — Not listening to Michelle Obama is not an option for the President

Politico.com has the story:

First lady Michelle Obama’s office on Tuesday quickly shot down the suggestion that she has ever publicly voiced support for same-sex marriage, a policy her husband opposes even as the left pressures him to take a stand.

“Mrs. Obama has never made any public statements about same-sex marriage,” her communications director, Kristina Schake, said in an email to POLITICO.

The response comes after former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey, a Democrat, suggested Monday night on CNN that Barack and Michelle Obama may not have the same opinion about gay marriage. McGreevey said of the president: “If he could only listen to Michelle more often” when it comes to his stance on same-sex marriage.

He should listen to Michelle more often? For god’s sake, Governor McGreevey, we’re pretty sure that not listening to Michelle is not an option for the poor man.

Last thing he wants is to be the recipient of one of her patented death glares.

Source: Politico

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