Texting, instant messaging and chat rooms use a strange, new language that’s filled with abbreviations and acronyms designed to quickly communicate and easily disguise a myriad of sex and drug terminology. It’s beyond the comprehension of most adults.
Texting, instant messaging and chat rooms use a strange, new language that’s filled with abbreviations and acronyms designed to quickly communicate and easily disguise a myriad of sex and drug terminology. It’s beyond the comprehension of most adults.
Some of the abbreviations and acronyms have been created so that kids can continue their conversation with friends while a parent is watching over their shoulder, confident the old folks are clueless. For example, if you saw your daughter sending the text message, “PAW GYPO & Ill GNOC later” would you know she just scheduled a time for a naked video camera session after you go to bed for the night? And what’s more frightening than not knowing when your 13-year old keyed LMIRL in a chat room, it meant “Let’s meet in real life?”
So here you go. Here’s the Rosetta Stone of texting/chatting/emailing. A comprehensive guide to acronyms, abbreviations, phrases and lingo to look for on your kid’s phone or computer. Some are outright disgusting and we hope you never see your kids use them. Others are harmless on their own but still important to know in context.
If you feel guilty taking a peek at your little darling’s computer and phone, remember one thing: You paid for them.
LOLTWOM (Laughing out loud, they won’t outsmart me).
This is not the kind of "change" the Obama administration hoped for.
“Voters now trust Republicans more than Democrats on six out of 10 key issues, including the top issue of the economy.”
Must have been a whole lot ‘o hyperventilatin’ goin’ on over at MSNBC when they read that Rasmussen Reports summary of its latest national telephone survey.
Rasmussen found that 45% of likely voters now have more confidence in Republicans’ ability to handle economic issues. Only 39% favor Democrats. And to twist the knife a little more, independent voters now trust the GOP by a two-to-one margin.
This is the first time in more than two years that Republicans have come out on top.
“The latest survey was taken just after General Motors announced it was going into bankruptcy as part of a deal brokered by the Obama administration that gives the government majority ownership of the failing automaker,” Rasmussen continued.
Unemployment is skyrocketing. The national debt is exploding. The dollar is collapsing. Interest rates are rising. Inflation is rearing its ugly head. We’re just surprised it took this long for the voters to figure out these guys don’t know what they’re doing.
Todd Palin was not smiling when David Letterman joked about the statutory rape of his 14-year old daughter
Todd Palin reacted with great restraint when David Letterman joked about the statutory rape of his 14-year old daughter.
“Any ‘jokes’ about raping my 14-year-old are despicable,” Palin said. “Alaskans know it and I believe the rest of the world knows it, too.”
Personally, we’d like to see Todd hop on an airplane, fly to New York and kick Letterman’s ass from one end of Times Square to the other.
At the very least, he should respond like Democrat icon Harry Truman did when his daughter Margaret was insulted.
Washington Post critic Paul Hume wrote a scathing review of Margaret Truman’s singing. Truman leaped to the defense of his daughter by writing this letter to Hume (but only after being convinced he shouldn’t go down to the Post and kick Hume’s ass):
Mr. Hume: I’ve just read your lousy review of Margaret’s concert. I’ve come to the conclusion that you are an “eight ulcer man on four ulcer pay.”
It seems to me that you are a frustrated old man who wishes he could have been successful. When you write such poppy-cock as was in the back section of the paper you work for it shows conclusively that you’re off the beam and at least four of your ulcers are at work.
Some day I hope to meet you. When that happens you’ll need to a new nose, a lot of beefsteak for black eyes, and perhaps a supporter below!
[Westbrook] Pegler, a gutter snipe, is a gentleman alongside you. I hope you’ll accept that statement as a worse insult than a reflection on your ancestry.
Wouldn’t you love to hear what Todd really said before the political consultants cleaned it up?
Ahhh, those happy days back before it became wrong to be Wright
Reverend Jeremiah Wright is talking again. And his comments are not going to help President Obama’s relationship with Israel. Not at all.
Wright said he hasn’t spoken to Obama since the President threw him under the bus last year. “Them Jews aren’t going to let him talk to me. I told my baby daughter, that he’ll talk to me in five years when he’s a lame duck, or in eight years when he’s out of office. They will not let him…talk to somebody who calls a spade what it is.”
“Ethnic cleansing is going on in Gaza,” Wright added. “Ethnic cleansing of the Zionist is a sin and a crime against humanity, and they don’t want Barack talking like that because that’s anti-Israel.”
Finally, Wright indirectly confirmed the truth of the accusation that Obama must have heard, but not been bothered by his inflammatory sermons while attending the Trinity United Church of Chicago for twenty years, by admitting that his message hasn’t changed:
“…the media went back five, seven, 10 years and spent $4,000 buying 20 years worth of sermons to hear what I’ve been preaching for 20 years?”
Pity poor Israel is surrounded by enemies – Lebanon to the north, Syria and Jordan to the east, Gaza and Barack Obama to the west.
Members of an illegal alien social club on their way to pick crops in California's fields
California Governor Arnold Schwartzenegger pounded the final nail in his own political coffin yesterday when he announced that he’s “happy” that illegal aliens get state services. Then he tapped the nail in a little further by saying they’re not to blame for the state’s $24.3 billion deficit.
Schwarzenegger noted that the state spends a mere $4 billion to $5 billion the state on illegal aliens each year, but said that’s just a “small percentage” of the deficit. And that’s true if you consider 20% a small percentage.
The soon-to-be former Governor told The Sacramento Bee that it’s easy to “scapegoat” illegal immigrants. The turncoat Republican insisted that the Feds requires the state to provide emergency health care and education to illegal aliens. And what the hell, he said, the illegal aliens pick crops and build buildings.
Perhaps the Governor hasn’t seen these grim statistics on illegal aliens (some people have nitpicked these stats, but they’re frightening if they’re only half true):
40% of all workers in L.A. County (L.A. County has 10.2 million people) are working for cash and not paying taxes. This was because they are predominantly illegal aliens working without a green card.
95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.
75% of people on the most wanted list in Los Angeles are illegal aliens.
Over 2/3 of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal alien Mexicans on Medi-Cal, whose births were paid for by taxpayers.
Nearly 25% of all inmates in California detention centers are Mexican nationals here illegally.
Over 300,000 illegal aliens in Los Angeles County are living in garages.
The FBI reports half of all gang members in Los Angeles are most likely illegal aliens from south of the border.
Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties are illegal.
There are 21 Spanish language radio stations in Los Angeles.
In L.A. County 5.1 million people speak English. 3.9 million speak Spanish. (There are 10.2 million people in L.A. County ).
Less than 2% of illegal aliens are picking our crops, but 29% are on welfare.
Over 70% of the United States’ annual population growth (and over 90% of California, Florida, and New York) is from illegal aliens.
How’s that budget working out for you, Governor Schwartzenegger?
Introducing the sleek, new one horsepower 2010 Obamamobile from General Motors
House Republican Leader John Boehner is not a fan of President Obama plans for General Motors. In fact, he calls them “lunacy.”
“When the government got involved with helping Chrysler in the late 1970’s,” Boehner noted, “there were hearings, there were oversight hearings afterward and we ought to have the same thing happen here.”
Boehner seems justifiably upset that Obama’s hand will exert too much unfettered control over the new GM.
“…one only has to look at what happened several weeks ago when the government basically coerced the auto companies to stand there and agree to a CAFE (corporate average fuel economy) standard that cannot be met unless the auto companies force Americans to buy cars that they don’t want to buy.”
“This is lunacy! And all of this is going to get stuck on the backs of middle-class taxpayers,” Boehner continued. “Not only are they going to have to pay for the [auto] bailout, but they’re going to pay much higher prices for these cars they don’t want to buy because of the mandates that are coming from the government.”
As we recall, central planning didn’t work out too well in the old Soviet Union. But Barack Obama gives a much better speech than Joe Stalin and that makes all the difference in the world.
Would a wise Latina woman have reached the same decision Clarence Thomas reached?
High school football stars Terrence Stephens and Jason Ankrah struck up a conversation with the man sitting next to them when were flying home from a recruitment trip to the University of Nebraska.
Much to their surprise he turned out to be Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.
“He was just a regular old guy, sitting in coach,” Stephens said, “which really shocked me.”
The two students came up with the idea of inviting Thomas to speak at their graduation ceremony. Carole Working, their principal, never thought a Supreme Court justice would actually show up to speak at a high school, but that’s exactly what Thomas did.
“These young men had no idea who I was as I formed my first impression. I was just another stranger to them. They were wonderful ambassadors for your school and for their fellow students,” Thomas observed at Quince Orchard High’s graduation ceremony.
The Obama administration is expected to begin impeachment proceedings against Thomas based on the fact that they believe flying coach is unconstitutional.
Chinese Muslim terrorists will spend the rest of their days lounging on the beaches of Palau
The President announced a few weeks ago that he was asking our allies to accept Gitmo detainees. France turned him down. Germany turned him down. Great Britain turned him down. Australia turned him down. So the president got out a copy of “The Idiot’s Guide to the U.N.” and started going down the membership list.
Great news. One of our “major allies” just agreed to accept 17 Chinese Uighur Muslim detainees. Palau. Yes, Palau.
Questions abound. Let’s review one at a time:
Question #1: Where the hell is Palau? Answer #1: 500 miles east of the Philippines, 2000 miles south of Toyko, a million miles from Washington, DC.
Question #2: Why haven’t I heard of it? Answer #2: It’s one of the world’s smallest nations. It’s been off the radar since World War II. It only has 20,000 residents. It’s not surprising that you haven’t heard of it, because they can’t decide if their name is Palau or Belau or Pelew.
Question #3: What’s China’s reaction to this move? Answer #3: No word from China yet, but Palau is one of the few countries that doesn’t recognize China and still maintains diplomatic relations with Taiwan.
Question #4: Why are they accepting the detainees? Answer #4: President Johnson Toribiong says its “a humanitarian gesture” and “but a small thing we can do to thank our best friend and ally for all it has done for Palau.”
Question #5: No, really. Why is Palau taking the detainees? Answer #5: Keep an eye on President Obama’s foreign aid budget. We’d be surprised if every Palauian (or Belauian or Pelewian) doesn’t end up a multi-millionaire before this is over.
This one’s too bizarre for words. Just too damn bizarre for words.
A Dutch journalist named Joanie de Rijke went looking for the Taliban in Afghanistan. Unfortunately, she found them.
We’ll let the Brussels Journal take it from here:
“In November 2008 a Dutch journalist, Joanie de Rijke, was abducted by Taliban fighters in Afghanistan. She was held captive, raped repeatedly, and released after six days for a ransom of 100,000 euros ($137,000). After her ordeal, she acknowledged that her captors ‘did horrible things to me,’ but added in several media interviews ‘They also respected me,’ and emphasized ‘They are not monsters.’”
Bizarrely, de Rijke said this ordeal didn’t make her angry. de Rijke said, “They also respected me.” How did she say they demonstrate this immense respect? Believe it or not, by giving her tea and biscuits between rape sessions.
There’s no explaining this case. Maybe it’s Stockholm Syndrome. Maybe it’s lunacy. Maybe it’s the left’s complete inability to confront evil. Take your choice.
(It doesn’t look like it, but above is a video to click, not an image)
Ahhh, how Cindy Sheehan longs for the good old days when she was a valuable, but ignorant fool tool of the American left. You know, back when the media showed up in droves to record her every word, her every action, her every lunacy.
Well, those days are long gone. She now has trouble attracting enough of a crowd to get up a good touch football game.
As Fox News reports, “Around 40 people joined antiwar activist Cindy Sheehan as she planned to lead a protest near former President George W. Bush’s Dallas home.”
In fact, Sheehan has become such a joke that her merry band of protesters was nearly outnumbered by the press and counter-protesters.
Apparently no one’s interested in protesting a former president who supposedly destroyed a foreign country when we have a current president who’s destroying this one.
The Feds have collared Ike Carothers. And a damn big collar it was.
Another corrupt Democrat from Chicago? Who ever would have imagined that? But this one’s not just any Democrat. He’s a Chicago alderman (city councilman) and Executive Vice- Chairman of the Cook County Democratic party.
Alderman Ike Carothers was indicted on 11 counts of fraud and bribery on Thursday. The Feds say he supported the rezoning of a large piece of land in return for $40,000 in home improvements, meals and tickets to sports events.
“Using public office to obtain personal financial benefits violates the public trust and we will continue to vigilantly investigate and prosecute both corrupt public officials and businessmen who see to profit by corruption them,” said U.S. District Attorney Patrick J. Fitzgerald.
Scooter Libby has absolutely nothing to do with this case, but is reportedly worried that Fitzgerald will indict him again just because the overly-zealous prosecutor had so darn much fun sending an innocent man to jail in the Valerie Plame case.
Nutty Sara Jane Moore, who attempted to assassinate President Gerald Ford back in 1975, has been paroled after spending 32 years behind bars. But she’s still nutty as the proverbial fruitcake.
Matt Lauer interviewed her on the Today Show and had this exchange:
Matt Lauer: And to people who say, briefly if you can, Ms. Moore, someone who attempts to assassinate a President of the United States should never see the light of day again, how do you respond?
Sara Jane Moore: Well, I’m going to go to the Obama thing. We have a Constitution in this country, and we have laws. And those laws are not just, everybody thinks they’re for me, but she, oh, we shouldn’t…We have laws, and regardless of who you are, there are conditions to be met for me to be paroled. I met those conditions. If you have a country of law, if you have a Constitution, it has to apply to everybody, not just to people you like.
What did her odd Obama remark mean? We’ll never know because Matt Lauer never followed up with another question for clarification.
Well, if Timothy Geithner can commit willful tax fraud for years and still be appointed Secretary of the Treasury, there’s every reason to think Moore 32 years in prison qualify her for an equally prominent role in the Justice Department.
We’re confident that “the Obama thing” was her way of hinting that an appointment is imminent.
Andrew Bolt, well-known Australian columnist, commentator and blogger had this take on President Obama’s Cairo speech:
“And one of the points I want to make is, is that if you actually took the number of Muslim Americans, we’d be one of the largest Muslim countries in the world,” Mr. Obama said.
Just what planet is this US President on? Or is this not a statement but an aspiration?
Here’s our two-word review of this animated United Nations Environment Program ozone fright film:
Insipid crappola.
Aimed at impressionable kids, it follows an ozone molecule named Ozzy Ozone and an albatross named Alberta as they “take a voyage of discovery to find out exactly who and what is attacking the ozone layer.” Of course, it also contains the requisite preaching designed to convince children that they can make a difference.
“Luckily,” the video says, “we’re protected by a brave little band of defenders at the very edge of space. The ozone molecules that make up our planet’s ozone layer. Despite their tiny size, our ozone defenders are amazingly strong and smart.”
Yes, the U.N. imparts intelligence to ozone molecules. But based on one viewing, that’s more than we’re willing to say about whomever is responsible for this outrageous child propaganda.
The entire 2009 graduating class at Florida’s Pace High School stood up to the ACLU by standing up to recite the Lord’s Prayer.
Naturally, the incident has been ignored by the liberal media.
When their principal asked everyone to be seated for the ceremony, nearly 400 graduating seniors remained standing and began their prayer. Parents, family and friends spontaneously joined in and then broke into applause upon its completion.
Here’s the background: The ACLU sued the school six months ago, complaining that prayers had been offered at two school-sponsored events. As the school ramped up preparations for this year’s graduation ceremony, the ACLU demanded that they refrain from saying anything religious.
This blatant attempt at censorship led the students to develop their plan in secret.
“Neither students nor teachers shed their constitutional rights at the schoolhouse gate,” noted Mathew Staver, dean of Liberty University School of Law. “The students at Pace High School refused to remain silent and were not about to be bullied by the ACLU.
We’re thinking of starting a new website called IHateTheACLU.com.
Attorney General Eric Holder shrugs at the thought that taxpayers shouldn't pay for illegal alien attorneys.
In January, 2009, the Bush administration issued a ruling that said illegal immigrants facing deportation don’t have an automatic right to an attorney. That was soooo January.
Now Attorney General Eric Holder is vacating the order and instructing the Justice Department to determine if a new rule is needed. In other words, illegal aliens get free attorneys and you get the bill.
According to the Bush administration’s interpretation of the Constitution, illegal aliens were not entitled to have cases reopened because of shoddy work by their lawyers.
That sent immigrant rights groups to howling. Forget the fact that illegal aliens are criminals by virtue of the fact that they are in this country illegally. Or undocumentedly, as the activists would prefer.
After all, we are the world. We are the children. We are the taxpaying dopes.
We hope Obama's czars start wearing fancy uniforms with epaulets and gold braid like their Russian imperial predecessors
If there’s a crisis, an issue, even a question in Washington, President Obama will appoint a Czar to manage it. He’s named more than 20 of them so far.
Democrat Senator Robert Byrd believes these Czars give the president too much power. He said the Czar system “can threaten the Constitutional system of checks and balances” and he points out that the power to oversee federal agencies is supposed to be reserved for officials approved by the Senate.
“…these White House staffers are not accountable for their actions to the Congress, to cabinet officials, or to virtually anyone but the president,” Byrd noted. “They rarely testify before congressional committees, and often shield the information and decision-making process behind the assertion of executive privilege. In too many instances, White House staff have been allowed to inhibit openness and transparency, and reduce accountability.”
Let us sum this up in three words: Obama Power Grab.
Here’s a list of Obama’s many power-grabbing czars: Af-Pak (Afghanistan-Pakistan) Czar, Border Czar, Car Czar, Climate Czar, Cyber Security Czar, Drug Czar, Economic Czar, Energy Czar, Faith-based Czar, Great Lakes Cleanup Czar, Guantanamo Closure Czar, Health Reform Czar, Infotech Czar, Iran Czar, Middle East Czar, Pay Czar, Persian Gulf & Southwest Asia Czar, Regulatory Czar, Stimulus Accountability Czar, Sudan Czar, TARP Czar, Terrorism Czar, Urban Czar, and last in alphabetical order, but not least, Weapons of Mass Destruction Czar
It appears, however, that President Obama has neglected to appoint Czars in some very important areas. We urge that he act immediately to name outstanding liberal Americans to fill these voids:
Biden Czar – someone to keep the Veep from saying stupid things that embarrass the administration and all Americans Teleprompter Czar – someone to make sure that the President’s favorite electronic device is always working Pantsuit Czar – someone to make sure Hillary never wears anything but pantsuits Limbaugh Czar – someone to oversee regulation of conservative talk radio Middle Name Czar – someone to make sure the name “Hussein” is never used unless the President is speaking in a Muslim country Date Night Czar – someone to schedule taxpayer-funded romantic getaways for the President and First Lady DoubleSpeak Czar – someone to keep track of all the Obama administration’s new terminology (like changing “Terrorism” to “Man-Caused Disaster”) Power Grab Czar – someone to be Czar over all the other Czars
Any we left out? Feel free to leave your suggestions in the comment section.
If there’s one thing Obama should keep in mind, it’s that things didn’t work out to well for the Russian Czars in the long run.
It will be a very cold winter without the West Virginia state rock.
President Obama said he wants to bankrupt the coal industry. And coal is one of the great hobgoblins of the global warming fear mongers.
West Virginia Governor Joe Manchin, a Democrat, just poked a finger right square in all their eyes by naming bituminous coal the official state rock.
Coal is vitally important to the state’s economy and history. Only Wyoming produces more coal than West Virginia. Coal is a key source of energy to the South and East. And West Virginia gets more electricity from coal than any other state.
According to the West Virginia Gazette, “The resolution notes explorer John Peter Salley found coal near Racine in 1742 and named the Coal River as a result. George Washington observed a Mason County coal fire in 1770, and Conrad Cotts opened the state’s first commercial coal mine near Wheeling in 1810, according to the resolution.”
Henry Kissinger said, “A diamond is just a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”
Looks like West Virginia is doing very well under pressure.
When it comes to URLs, the stars are not aligned for former President Clinton.
First Bill Clinton lost his reputation, now he’s lost the right to use of his own name.
There’s a guy named Joseph Culligan who runs a company called Web of Deception. He buys and sells domain names, including williamclinton.com, williamjclinton.com, and presidentbillclinton.com.
The former president didn’t like that. So he took Culligan to arbitration in an attempt to keep him from using the Clinton name.
Uh-oh. The panel decided in favor of Culligan.
The National Arbitration Forum ruled that Culligan is allowed to keep the domains. They said, “While Respondent’s conduct in registering the names of politicians does reflect a pattern, Respondent has adequately rebutted any inference of bad faith.”
In an amusing twist, there are no active websites connected to the three domains and they currently redirect visitors to a website operated by the Republican National Committee.
Don’t feel too badly, Bill, because there are lots of other dandy domain names out there you can use. We just checked. Looks like HornDogInChief.com is available. So is MrHillaryClinton.com. And ImpeachedPresidentWilliamJeffersonClinton.com is also up for grabs.
They’re all just $9.99 right now at GoDaddy.com. But you’d better act fast before some wily entrepreneur snaps them up.
Nicole Avant, our new ambassador to the Bahamas. At least she'll be out of the country and won't have to watch the fall of capitalism.
Some of President Obama’s biggest Hollywood financial supporters are packing their bags and heading off to become ambassadors. This despite the fact that their only previous diplomatic experience may have been spending a night in Hollywood’s Ambassador Hotel.
But that matters not if there were enough zeroes on the check you contributed to the President’s campaign coffers.
Music industry heiress Nicole Avant will represent us in the Bahamas. Wild Brain CEO Charles Rivkin gets France.
Avant is the daughter of longtime Bill and Hillary Clinton friend Clarence Avant and the sister of Democratic activist Alex Avant. She was the first in her family to break away and endorse Obama. Her experience for the ambassadorship includes being the daughter of the former chairman of Motown Records, bundling $500,000 for Obama’s campaign, and playing Protestor #2 in a 2004 film called “First Daughter.”
Why stop there, President Obama? There are lots of other Hollywood types itching to be ambassadors.
Rob Reiner. Barbara Streisand. Alec Baldwin. They all said they’d leave the country if Bush got elected, but didn’t. If a little ambassadorship is all it takes to get them out, we say it’s a small price to pay.
Stop the global warming presses. Scientists have discovered a remarkable link between rapidly rising world temperatures and…uh…well…United States postage rates.
“The rise in global temperatures since 1880 closely correlates with increases in postal charges,” the study stated, “sparking alarm that CO2 has been usurped as the main driver of climate change.”
As you can see in the chart, the correlation between rise in temperatures and the rise in the price of postage stamps is far closer than the correlation between temperatures and C02.
This tongue-planted-firmly-in-cheek scientific report demonstrates the obvious quite simply: Just because two things correlate doesn’t mean one causes the other.
But all kidding aside, there is one very important lesson to be learned from this study:
We must stop the increase in postage rates, because they’re killing the polar bears.
We love the DrudgeReport. It provides a window on the world that’s just not available anywhere else. If President Obama happened to look at Drudge on Sunday, his view through that window was very hazy. We doubt that he enjoyed it very much. Because it looks like a lot of people are catching on to the scam that is Obam.
GM stock may not be worth the paper it's printed on, but it's better off in your hands than in the government's
Two Republican senators, Lamar Alexander and Robert Bennett, want the government to give its stake in General Motors to American taxpayers. The plan makes so much sense that it’s almost impossible to believe it was generated in Washington, DC.
Under the plan, the government would divvy up its newly-minted General Motors shares among the 154 million Americans who pay federal taxes. If you don’t pay taxes, you don’t get the stock. The senators said taxpayers financed the government’s $60 billion investment in GM, so they deserve to own the stock.
“Those shares might not be worth much now, but put them away and one day they might contribute something toward a college education,” Alexander said. “GM’s 610 million shares were only worth 75 cents just before bankruptcy, but they were worth $40 dollars per share two years ago.”
“This bill would be a tough one for Democrats to oppose,” one aide observed. “They would essentially say that they would rather have the government run and own an auto company than the American people.”
That poor deluded aide. Let us give you the Democrat response before they even make it:
“This outrageous plan is typical of good old boy Republican politics. It discriminates against the poor, people of color and hard-working undocumented aliens. Blah-blah-blah.”
