Gone are the days when you could call an illegal alien an illegal alien. Also gone are the days when you could call a drug dealer a drug dealer.
As far as the U.S. Forest Service, that combination now earns you the dignified title of “displaced foreign traveler”.
The Redding Searchlight takes a hilarious look at the neologistic news:
Just a typical foreign tourist visiting California, Gauldry Almonte-Hernandez must have spent a day at the San Diego Zoo and taken in the Venice Boardwalk, then driven up foggy, twisty and beautiful Highway 1 to take in the sights of San Francisco. After shopping in Chinatown, dining in North Beach and admiring the street theater around Pier 39, he headed north to see the world-famous coastal redwoods.
But something went horribly wrong.
On the road to the Lady Bird Johnson Grove, he must have taken a wrong turn on Highway 36. Once up in the rugged mountains of Trinity County, anyone can get lost. Cell coverage is spotty. Gas stations and supplies are scarce. The poor gentleman’s vacation went terribly wrong, and the next thing you know, he found himself camped out at a remote marijuana plantation south of Hayfork.
At least, that’s the impression a reader might get from a U.S. Forest Service news release, sent out to the media Tuesday morning, about a marijuana raid earlier this month. It describes Almonte-Hernandez as a “displaced foreign traveler from Michoacán, Mexico.”
Strangely, though, this poor displaced traveler — far from welcoming his rescue by the Forest Service, Trinity County Sheriff’s Department and Bureau of Narcotic Enforcement — instead reportedly tried to flee and hide as those agency’s officers arrived at the marijuana “garden,” which contained more than 7,000 plants.
A Forest Service law-enforcement dog team ran down Almonte-Hernandez, who, the Forest Service says, faces a federal charge of manufacturing a controlled substance that, if he is convicted, could carry a 10-year prison sentence.
Is that any way to treat a displaced foreign traveler?
Look for Eric Holder to dismiss all charges against Almonte-Hernandez. And don’t be surprised if the Forest Service transforms Smokey the Bear into Tokey the Bear.
H/T: Weasel Zippers
