NEWS FLASH! The economy is saved. Renowned economist, heiress and attention-whore Paris Hilton has announced that she will save the world by doing what she does best – shopping.
Hilton says her income has continued unabated during the current international economic unpleasantness. Dimwitted promoters still line up to pay her big bucks to appear at their nightclubs.
She believes her economic philosophy — which can best be summarized as “Spend, spend, spend” — can revive the flagging retail industry.
“It’s really scary about the economy right now,” she told the British magazine Heat. “So the way I’m playing my part in helping is doing a lot of shopping wherever I go.”
We all owe Paris a huge debt of gratitude. And much like the national debt, it will only grow larger and never be repaid.
