Top 25 things President Obama is teaching his daughters about money

Starry-eyed ABC reporter Elisabeth Leamy had a chance to interview President Obama and actually asked him, “What are you and the First Lady teaching your daughters about money.

Starry-eyed ABC reporter Elisabeth Leamy had a chance to interview President Obama and actually asked him, “What are you and the First Lady teaching your daughters about money?”

The President is terribly pressed for time what with all the TV interviews and magazine cover photo sessions and golf games and vacations and laser-like focus on the economy and equally laser-like focus on the gulf oil spill, so he didn’t have time to fully answer Leamy’s question. If he had, we’re pretty sure that these are the important life lessons he’s teaching Sasha and Malia:

1. The more ice cream you eat, the less chance there is for poor children to become obese.

2. There’s no shame in being on welfare. That’s how Daddy buys votes.

3. Ask your mother. She makes all the policy decisions.

4. When I was your age, I had to walk to the madrassa uphill. In both directions.

barack-obama-and-daughters
"C'mon, girls, I want to show you the first dollar I ever redistributed."

5. Money doesn’t grow on trees. It’s taken from the hardworking American taxpayer or printed by the Federal Reserve to be misappropriated for failing social programs.

6. One day this will all be yours. The deficit, I mean.

7. If you run out of money, just print more.

8. “The love of money is the root of all crakka killings!” I learned that in church.

9. When I said, “At some point you’ve made enough money,” I was
talking about corporations, not public servants.

10. If you stay in school and study hard, you’ll never have to get a
real job.

11. Sometimes you have to spend what you don’t have to get out of debt.

12. It’s not really stealing if you call it a tax.

13. Big corporations make EVIL money. Big Hollywood stars make HONEST money.

14. A fool and his money are soon parted, which is why your Uncle Joe Biden couldn’t afford pay for his frozen custard in Milwaukee and had to call the manager a smartass instead.

15. A penny saved is a damn fine excuse to come up with another tax.

16. Spend as much as you want. Someone else will pay for it.

17. Money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy an election!

18. Save up your money for bullet-proof burkas.

19. As soon as daddy’s done screwing up the USA, you’ll both get ponies!

20. Once everyone is poor, we’ll all be equals!

21. Watch daddy apply the trickle-up poverty principle!

22. Get a job at the USDA – great pay, outstanding benefits, you can be racist AND never get fired!

23. Money is not the root of all evil, capitalism is.

24. You won’t have to pay taxes if you’re the one writing the tax laws.

25. Spread the wealth, but only other people’s wealth.

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