13 reasons you should throw away your Che Guevara T-shirt

Here are thirteen Che Guevara facts that the left never mentions. Thirteen things that, if they were widely known, would contribute to far fewer T-shirt sales.

che-poster

According to the leftist mythology that’s been built up over the last 50 years Che Guevara was a brave, noble soldier who loved freedom and sacrificed his life so that others could achieve it.

Ha! Here are thirteen Che facts that the left never mentions. Thirteen things that, if they were widely known, would contribute to far fewer T-shirt sales.

che poster
Che Guevara, vicious mass murderer and T-shirt icon
  1. Che’s famous motorcycle tour of South American is mostly myth. The motorcycle broke down early in the trek and it was completed with other means of transportation.
  2. Che was nicknamed Chancho (Pig) by his schoolmates because he rarely bathed.
  3. Soon after Batista was overthrown, Guevara had hundreds of Cuban government officials executed. Notice that the phrase “fair trial” was conspicuously absent from the previous sentence.
  4. Che was a brutal murderer. He trained and commanded firing squads that executed thousands of men, women and children deemed enemies by the new Castro regime. He once put a bullet in the head of a fellow guerrilla he suspected of disloyalty.
  5. Che was not a fan of our First Amendment. He opposed freedom of speech, religion, press, assembly and protest. Can you say North Korea?
  6. All those college kids wearing their Che T-shirts might be surprised to learn that he supported the repression of rock ‘n roll in Cuba.
  7. Homosexuals did not fare well in Che’s Cuba. He mounted a campaign to have them jailed.
  8. che obama poster
    La Revolución, si! Free elections, no!
  9. See the photo to the right? It was taken in an Obama campaign office in Texas. The volunteer who put the poster on the wall might be surprised to learn that her hero opposed free elections.
  10. Che never won a Nobel Prize for Economics with good reason. Castro put him in charge of the Cuban economy, but his strident communism immediately put it on a downward economic death spiral.
  11. Che fled Cuba in the mid-1960s not to spread Communism throughout the hemisphere, but because he had so totally screwed up his private life. He was a profligate adulterer who deserted two wives, countless mistresses and numerous children.
  12. Che hoped that the Cuban missile crisis would lead to an atomic war. “What we affirm is that we must proceed along the path of liberation,” he said, “even if this costs millions of atomic victims.”
  13. Members of the Che cult claim his last words were, “I know you are here to kill me. Shoot, coward, you are only going to kill a man.” However, General Ovando, Chief of the Bolivian Armed Forces, reported that Che died in battle and that his last words were considerably less noble, “I am Che Guevara and I have failed.”
  14. Another version of his final words is even more pathetic. Far from bravely facing a martyr’s death, Che’s captors reported that he begged for his life saying, “Do not shoot! I am Che Guevara and worth more to you alive than dead.”

Ironic, isn’t it, that Che’s last words were as wrong as his entire philosophy of life. As T-shirt vendors around the world have discovered, he has actually been worth far more dead than alive.

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