Bureaucrats run amok: EPA now classifies milk as a pollutant.

by editor on June 16, 2010

cow-teats-milk-pollutant

EPA bureaucrats know a government teat when they see one. Or four.

In case you doubted that government bureaucrats are committed to controlling every aspect of our lives, please be aware that they’ve now categorized milk as a pollutant.

Northern Michigan’s Channel 9 has the details:

The Environmental Protection Agency intends to classify milk as a hazardous waste; in the same category as oil.

That means, farmers would have to come up with an oil spill prevention plan which could cost them thousands of dollars.

The Senate Agricultural Committee passed a resolution today urging the EPA to take back those regulations.

This new interpretation of the EPA’s Clean Water Act will require dairy farmers to develop oil spill prevention plans for their milk storage tanks.

As one farmer said in the video, “The majority of milk is water, in the high 80s percentile is water. The rest of it, three and one half percent, is solids of the fat and a portion of that is oil. And because of that small amount of oil in milk they’d like to relate it to motor oil or fuel oil and put it in the same category.”

To put this in terms a dairy farmer would appreciate, bureaucrats are good for only one thing: sucking from the government teat.

Source: 9and10News.com

{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }

Mistella June 16, 2010 at 6:23 am

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Is this because milk is white?

Kyle June 16, 2010 at 6:29 am

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I wouldn’t doubt it.

Jimbo June 16, 2010 at 7:49 am

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You said white, that’s racist.

Lester June 16, 2010 at 7:01 pm

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So,….are there different requirements for chocolate milk? Just wondering.

WordEmUp June 16, 2010 at 10:17 pm

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Gotcha! You said Chocolate. This means you are a racist. And your name is Lester. Or is it Le Stir; As in stir the pot? Pot calling the kettle black? I guess your parents were racists too. (Sorry Lester, it was too easy)

editor June 17, 2010 at 4:18 am

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Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I think you’ve uncovered a conspiracy worthy of that radio show where people talk about aliens and time travelers and Bigfoot all night. Well done.

James June 17, 2010 at 9:45 am

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Regular milk will be heavily restricted and monitored. Chocolate milk will be protected from such scrutiny by reams of legislation protecting it’s rights. Strawberry milk will be monitored but ultimately safe thanks to it’s inclusion on the endangered species list.

Millions of cows will become unemployed and roam the streets, homeless, but thousands of jobs will be created when local Departments of Transportation realize they need vast amounts of manpower to keep the streets clean.

Is there anything sadder than a thin, unkempt cow sitting on a highway median holding a poorly written cardboard sign reading, “Will lactate for hay”? If there is I would like to know about it.

editor June 17, 2010 at 9:52 am

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Your last paragraph sounds like an old Gary Larson cartoon.

KimmyQueen June 17, 2010 at 2:00 pm

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That was so awesome James :-)

James June 17, 2010 at 4:17 pm

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Thanks, guys. :) And holy cow (oh yeah.. pun intended), I forgot about Gary Larson. Great… now I have to go find out what ever happened to that guy. Newspapers have spent years trying to replace him, and as far as I’m concerned, they’ve never even come close.

editor June 17, 2010 at 4:45 pm

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Digging deep in the recesses of my failing memory, it seems to me that Larson was from Seattle and retired there. It wasn’t the internet that killed newspapers – it was the loss of Larson’s The Far Side and Bill Watterson’s Calvin & Hobbes.

James June 17, 2010 at 4:49 pm

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Your failing memory is correct; I looked him up on the wiki. Seems he retired so his cartoon would never reach the point of mediocrity. As much as I miss the ‘toons, that was probably a fine idea.

Awww… Calvin & Hobbes…

*feeling very nostalgic now*

DJ June 17, 2010 at 9:23 pm

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No one can ever replace Larson! I always looked forward to reading his cartoon first and then I’d move on to the other news…(I had to start with a light heart before reading the depressing stuff)
He has at least one insect named for him…honored because he loved etymology and drew insects as they are in nature.
In an article, he detailed how the ‘Jane Goodall Tramp’ strip turned out…hilarious and wonderful at the same time!

Ashley June 21, 2010 at 1:11 pm

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Brilliant!

Marcia June 16, 2010 at 7:17 am

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Udderly Ridiculous!!! (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

USN-RETIRED June 16, 2010 at 5:39 pm

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The whole deal sounds pretty cheesey to me and that’s no bull.

Maybe they thought they cud milk the tax-payers for some more moo-lah.

Shortest distance between 2 straight lines is a pun.

( Don’t blame me, she started it. ) ;-)

Pittsburgh Z June 16, 2010 at 7:38 am

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And they scream and howl when people challenge their patriotism.

Government IS the enemy.

Essentialmama June 16, 2010 at 8:04 am

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Absurd. Absolutely absurd. They can’t get BP to listen to them, so they must attack farmers….ya can’t stretch anymore than that! Oh wait…I bet they COULD if we asked nicely and said pretty please.

James June 16, 2010 at 8:29 am

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Can we turn the tables on them and classify the horse crap that comes out of the EPA on a daily basis as a pollutant?

Lester June 16, 2010 at 7:02 pm

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It’s certainly more damaging to the environment than milk.

MichiganVet June 16, 2010 at 9:11 am

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I see “Lactate-gate” coming … tax the milk, tax the cow farts, tax cheese, ban hay, burn all the straw …

It’s amazing that government does not yet understand they are the TICK and we are the HOST – once the TICK kills the HOST, the TICK dies too because it has nothing to feed upon.

Perhaps November will teach them something?

Mistella June 16, 2010 at 1:49 pm

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PERFECT analogy! And this ole hound dog is getting more ticked off every day. I only hope enough of the moronic middle is paying attention.

Jimbo June 16, 2010 at 10:34 am

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That cow has big teats.

KimmyQueen June 16, 2010 at 4:30 pm

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Ahh… I see. I love the we are doing it for your own good taxes. They are awesome!

So when people stop drinking milk en masse due to the higher (inevitable) price of milk what happens? The tax “revenue” for the government on that area dries up and then what increase tax on soy milk because soy production takes too much water?

I really hate the government bureaucrats and the people that want to tax me to death.

MichiganVet June 16, 2010 at 5:25 pm

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No Kimmy – they are doing this for YOUR own good! Bad things like milk, salt, pop (soda on the coasts) – are all really, really bad for you – so they need to be taxed because you cannot control your intake.

Now smoking and drinking are OK – because the taxes they bring in are so darn large that we cannot shut off that spigot.

So keep puffin, driving drunk – but avoid salt, pop and milk.
(this message courtesy of the Stalin/Chavez network)

KimmyQueen June 17, 2010 at 2:02 pm

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I bet the same people that find that marijuana (and other drugs) should be easily accessible are the same people that would find fault with milk and sugar and salt. crazy.

CO2Insanity June 16, 2010 at 9:10 pm

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I’m having a cow over this one.

administrator June 17, 2010 at 9:39 am

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You shouldn’t cry over spilled milk.

MichiganVet June 17, 2010 at 9:07 am

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Are we seeing “Lactate Intolerance”, Bovine Bigotry, Real-Milk Racism? Do we need to study cows in Greece? (no, not Grease as in burgers).

Is the next flu a by-product of “Hoof and Mouth” … or is that what we see when Joe Biden speaks (Hoof IN mouth).

I am beginning to think EPA stands for Enjoy Pork, America!

KimmyQueen June 18, 2010 at 10:04 am

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Actually after thinking about it the EPA is partially right. It is not milk per se that is a pollutant it is the EFFECTS of milk on the human body that is a pollutant. Have you ever been around a lactose intolerant person after they eat ice cream? Ewwww…

In all reality though I don’t need the EPA to “protect” me even from the fumes emitted by a person after eating ice cream.

These types of power plays are meant to chisel away liberties and freedoms of people, even if it is to eat things that they shouldn’t eat for health purposes.

There is a thing called personal responsibility. Big Government is not a solution.

Pandy June 19, 2010 at 5:13 am

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Government doesn’t understand that animal fat/oil/vegetable fat/oil /=/ Fossil fuels, and biodegrade in the environment…

Chrispcarrot July 26, 2010 at 9:53 am

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I guess this means BP now stands for ‘Bovine Polluters’…does this mean we’ll have to wear environmental suits when picking up milk at the store? Dairy Queen ice cream cones will come with a mini hazmat kit in the bottom of the cone? Terrorists, sorry, under-medicated religious activists, will attempt to create ‘dirty cow bombs’ by strapping C4 to udders and causing stampedes? I actually think Gary Larson should run in 2012, it’ll tone down the otherwise stellar levels of insanity in Washington.

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