Top 25 reasons Joe Biden fell asleep during President Obama’s deficit speech

Yup. Ol’ Joe chose what some extremist Republicans are calling an inappropriate time to catch a catnap – right in the middle of his boss’ speech on the debt and the deficit.

But the Vice President had a really good excuse. Twenty-five of them, in fact.

1. Up late last night trying to come up with something incredibly stupid to do while President spoke.
2. In his dreams, the President is serious about deficit reduction.
3. He made the mistake of counting members of the mainstream media lining up like sheep to back Obama’s plan.
4. All those zeros… Zzzzzzeros.
5. Hey, Gore slept through the 90s and nobody said anything about it.
6. He was tired from a long day of making sure that only China could have coal plants.
7. He stayed up all night trying to figure out a good comeback for that smartass at the ice cream shop.
8. The way the government has been spending money, taking a 20-minute map is like stickin’ it to the man for $4 million.
9. It’s the Biden Sleep Deficit plan.
10. That’s not just a nap, that’ fucking serious sleep!
11. “Barry told me to go ahead, take a nap, and he’ll wake me up when he needs me to add something intelligent.”
12. Being a word genius is tiring work.
13. Even the dimmest of bulbs need to be turned off to cool down once in a while.
14. Up late last night making up phrases that rhyme with “Boehner.”
15. Nice sunny day, gentle breeze from Barry’s mouth, the endless droning on and on of Barry’s speech … you do the math.
16. His son Beau put music on Joe’s MP3 player and he fell asleep listening to the unofficial lib lullaby: Ten Years After’s I’d Love To Change The World:

    “Everywhere is freaks and hairies
    Dykes and fairies, tell me where there is sanity
    Tax the rich, feed the poor
    Till there are no rich no more

    I’d love to change the world
    But I don’t know what to do
    So I’ll leave it up to you

    And it’s somehow Bush’s fault.”

17. Honoring those Latino citizens who made this country great by partaking in the traditional siesta!
18. He lost a significant amount of sleep worrying over the results of Barrack’s AIDS test.
19. The inside of Biden’s eyelids look just like the long, dark chasm that has been the Obama presidency.
20. The anesthesia hadn’t completely worn off after an earlier trip to the hair clinic.
21. His alien radio control implant was temporarily blocked by the lead paint in the rotunda.
22. Late night panty raid in the Freshman dorm.
23. He couldn’t get any coffee that morning because he didn’t have an Indian accent.
24. Brainwashing Side Effects include: drowsiness, prolonged grinning, hair loss, and delusions of grandeur.
25. Time for a nap – I’ve heard this all before from that peanut farmer guy … what the hell was his name? His brother made some great beer … where am I?

Contributors: Sven Waring, Perlcat, JJJRO