Josh Muszynski, a New Hampshire man, was charged $23,148,855,308,184,500 for cigarettes. Obama taxes?
Cigarettes kill people. Taxes kill economies.
Josh Muszynski, a New Hampshire man, went down to his corner gas station and bought a pack of cigarettes with his debit card.
A few hours later he went online, checked his account, and was stunned to see that he had been charged an astronomical $23,148,855,308,184,500 for the ciggies.
After picking himself up off the floor, Muszynski spent two hours on the phone with Bank of America trying to solve the problem. Luckily, B of A corrected the error and even reversed their $15 overdraft fee.
We say if President Obama is smart he’ll act immediately and slap a $23 quadrillion tax on every pack of cigarettes sold.
In one stroke, he’ll wipe out smoking. And if he can just sell one pack, he’ll generate almost enough taxes to pay for ObamaCare.
Tovbekarlar Yarisiyor pits a Muslim imam, Catholic priest, Jewish rabbi and Buddhist monk against each other in an attempt to convert 10 atheists to their religion.
“I’ll take ‘Suicide Vests” for $2000, Alex.”
The lucky winner of a new reality show on Turkish TV and you win the biggest prize ever: eternal salvation.
“Tovbekarlar Yarisiyor” (“Penitents Compete”) pits a Muslim imam, Catholic priest, Jewish rabbi and Buddhist monk against each other (like that hasn’t been done for thousands of years) in an attempt to convert 10 atheists to their religion.
If you thought that was odd, wait until you hear the prize. The winning contestants will be given a pilgrimage to their new faith’s most sacred site —Mecca for Muslims, Jerusalem for Jews, Tibet for Buddhists, or the Vatican for Catholics.
What makes this show so remarkable is that it’s the first time in the history of television that network executives have thought of worshipping anything other than the almighty buck.
This four minute commercial could bring tears to your eyes.
American TV commercials are almost always 30-seconds long. And sometimes that’s just not enough time to weave a full, rich story.
Here’s a four-minute long Thai TV commercial that’s uses every single second to tell one of the most heartwarming, inspirational stories you’ve ever seen.
If we weren’t so damn manly here at IHateTheMedia.com, it would have brought tears to our eyes.
“Boyfriend With Health Benefits” tells the touching story of a young woman who’s searching for true love. Well, true love and a healthcare plan that covers lasik eye surgery. And shiatsu massage. And prescription drugs. And acupuncture. And podiatry.
“Boyfriend With Health Benefits” tells the touching story of a young woman who’s searching for true love. Well, true love and a healthcare plan that covers lasik eye surgery. And shiatsu massage. And prescription drugs. And acupuncture. And podiatry.
As the song says, “If you really wanna be my man, boy, you gotta put me on your health care plan.”
This is 2009, honey. You don’t need a boyfriend, you need ObamaCare.
Barack Obama said no business wants to invest where the government skims 20 percent off the top. But America skims 40%, says John Stossel.
John Stossel points out the dichotomy between Obama's words and actions
Day in and day out, ABC’s John Stossel is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Here’s what he had to say about Obama and taxes:
Apparently President Obama wants America to lower taxes and shrink the regulatory state. After all, during his trip to Africa, he said: “No business wants to invest in a place where the government skims 20 percent off the top”.
But of course the American government skims off much more than 20%. Federal taxes alone are roughly that, and when you add in state and local levies, plus the burden of regulation, government in America eats at least 40% of GDP.
If African governments’ skimming off 20% is a bad thing, why is America’s 40% okay, and why is the President trying to make government bigger?
This is particularly timely since Democrats much-vaunted healthcare plan and is all built around tax increases or surcharges or whatever they’re calling them today.
Love you, John. In the manliest of manly ways, of course.
French (muslims) youths burned 317 cars and wounded 13 police officers overnight during the now traditional bout of street violence on the eve of the Bastille Day national holiday, police say
French youths (Muslims) demonstrating their youthful (Muslim) exuberance
Please allow us to translate a story from France, reported by the BBC, found in an Australian newspaper, but generally ignored in the United States.
French youths burned 317 cars and wounded 13 police officers overnight during the now traditional bout of street violence on the eve of the Bastille Day national holiday, police say.
Paris police said 240 people had been arrested, almost double the number held after unrest on the same day last year.
The injured officers are suffering from hearing difficulties caused by home-made explosives blowing up beside them.
Last week, the death of a young man in police custody caused three nights of riots in the southern town of Firminy.
Police said Mohamed Benmouna, a 21-year-old of Algerian origin, had died after trying to hang himself in a cell earlier in the week.
So when you strip away the politically-correct reportage, you understand that “French youths” is an euphemism that actually means “Muslim youths.” You know, the same ones who’ve begun the delightful tradition of rioting and burning cars to celebrate the freedom they’ve found in France.
But, of course, it might offend some “French youths” if that story were to be reported…uhhh…accurately.
McGraw-Hill is so eager to dump BusinessWeeek that it may dump the 80-year old publication for a mere dollar.
Maybe BusinessWeek should have read its own cover story
According to insiders, McGraw-Hill is so eager to dump BusinessWeeek that it may dump the 80-year old publication for a mere dollar.
BusinessWeek’s ad revenue plummeted to just $77.8 million in the first six months of 2009 and its circulation has fallen to just 936,000.
Who would be willing to ante up a buck for what is arguably the nation’s leading financial publication? Analysts expect the most likely bidders to be publishers of other financial publications who hope the consolidation of publications will lead to cost savings.
Not so fast, McGraw-Hill. We have a plan of our own:
We’ll swoop in as unexpected bidders, win the auction with an unexpectedly high bid of $2, immediately spin off BusinessWeek.com as a separate entity, throw the rest of the operation into bankruptcy, sell the website for $1,000,000 and walk away from the whole mess.
Do not be embarrassed if you didn’t follow all those machinations. We are highly-trained financial gurus and you are not.
Black Chamber of Commerce President and CEO Harry Alford accuses the dimwitted Senator Boxer of making condescending remarks, racial remarks, and was undoubtedly thinking, stupid remarks.
We are shocked, absolutely shocked, that anyone would accuse California Senator Barbara Boxer of being condescending. She doesn’t know the meaning of the word.
No, seriously, we don’t think she knows the meaning of the word. She doesn’t know the meaning of a lot of words.
In this exchange, Black Chamber of Commerce President and CEO Harry Alford accuses the dimwitted Senator Boxer of making condescending remarks, racial remarks, and was undoubtedly thinking, stupid remarks.
Can’t really blame Alford. Boxer talks to him as if he got to the hearings on the short bus. He showed her every bit of respect she deserved, which was none.
Boxer looks baffled. But what the hell, she normally looks baffled.
Update 7/24/09: Dennis Miller interviews Harry Alford:
[audio:https://www.ihatethemedia.com/wp-content/uploads/harry-alford-dennis-miller.mp3]
More free cell phones for the poor. This time from TracFone Wireless in Colorado, not Safelink Wireless.
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In March 2009 we did a story about a wireless phone plan that provides free cell phones for the poor through Safelink Wireless. Much to our surprise, it’s generated more controversy and more comments than any other story we’ve ever done (you really should read some of the thousands of comments. Frankly, it’s astonishing).
TracFone Wireless follows Safelink Wireless in giving free cell phones to the poor
Anyone who thinks this is a good idea should have their head examined
Now Colorado is thinking about enrolling its poor in the same program.
The Denver Post reports:
“If approved, the plan by TracFone Wireless in Miami would make Colorado the 17th state it has settled into with free cell service for the indigent, a form of wireless welfare that proponents say taps into one of the last untapped markets for the telecom technology.
“Our hope is to have it up and running by September,” said Jose Fuentes, TracFone’s director of government relations. “Historically, it’s a very underutilized service, and we’d like that to change.”
In Colorado, it’s called LITAP — the Low Income Telephone Assistance Program — and is available to anyone receiving aid from any of six welfare funds…
The bad news is that you’re paying for this via the Universal Service Fund, one of those mysterious line item taxes listed on your monthly phone bill.
The good news is that you soon won’t have any money left and you’ll qualify for a free cell phone.
Sonia Sotomayor said she had been inspired to become a prosecutor by Hamilton Burger, the fictional District Attorney character in the old Perry Mason TV show. Burger was consistently wrong, gleefully prosecuting innocent people in 206 of those programs.
There was a very strange moment in Sonia Sotomayor’s Senate confirmation hearing on Wednesday.
The Supreme Court nominee said she had been inspired to become a prosecutor by Hamilton Burger, the fictional District Attorney character in the old Perry Mason TV show.
Sotomayor told Democrat Senator Amy Klobucher of Minnesota that she first knew she wanted to be a prosecutor while watching the TV show “Perry Mason” as a child.
She recalled that at the end of one case, after another of Mason’s clients had been proven innocent of Burger’s trumped-up charges, “Perry said to the prosecutor, ‘It must cause you some pain having expended all that effort and to have the charges dismissed.’
“And the prosecutor looked up and said, ‘No, my job as a prosecutor is to do justice, and justice is served when a guilty man is convicted and an innocent man is not.’ And I thought to myself, that’s quite amazing, to be able to serve that role.”
“My point,” she added, “is that it is such a wonderful part of being a prosecutor…That TV character said something that motivated my choices in life.”
In the words of Hamilton Burger, “We object.”
The Hamilton Burger character appeared in 207 episodes of the old Perry Mason TV show. He was consistently wrong, gleefully prosecuting innocent people in 206 of those programs. In the 207th episode, “The Case of the Deadly Verdict” Mason was eventually able to prove that his client has been wrong convicted and the worked tirelessly to have the decision overturned.
We would have been far more impressed if she said she had been inspired by the Perry Mason character – the rich, successful attorney who frequently worked without payment to see that justice was done. Instead, Sotomayor was inspired by the character who enthusiastically prosecuted innocent people week after week for ten years.
But it certainly helps explain why the Supreme Court has overturned so many of Sotomayor’s decisions.
Let’s just call it “The Case of the Leftist Latina.”
A massive health-care overhaul could have a job-killing effect on New York, creating a tax rate of nearly 60 percent for the state’s top earners and possibly pressuring small-business owners to shed workers.
(click to enlarge) What Obama Healthcare plan means to New Yorkers
No matter what President Obama may say, almost no one still believes taxes will only increase on those earning more than $250,000. Especially the New York Post:
Congressional plans to fund a massive health-care overhaul could have a job-killing effect on New York, creating a tax rate of nearly 60 percent for the state’s top earners and possibly pressuring small-business owners to shed workers.
New York’s top income bracket could reach as high as 57 percent — rates not seen in three decades — to pay for the massive health coverage proposed by House Democrats this week.
“You’re being unfair,” the left wing howled. “Wait ‘til you see him throw out the first pitch at baseball’s all-star game.” Okay, let’s look:
Now that we’ve seen the pitch, we take it all back. The President doesn’t throw like a little girl. He actually throws like a little sissy boy.
Contrast “Lefty” Obama’s wimpy pitch with the one “Righty” George Bush made at the 2001 World Series. Obama threw a big ol’ lob that fell short of the plate. Despite the fact that Cardinals star Albert Pujols positioned himself to receive the pitch in front of the plate, it still fell short and had to be scooped out of the dirt. Bush zinged one right down the middle of the plate.
Once again, the right wing proves superior to the left wing.
Dr. Faten Abdel-Rahman Khorshid has developed a potential cure for cancer based on camel urine. Thanks to Prophet Muhammad.
Just great. OPEC will soon be joined by CUPEC (Camel Urine Producing & Exporting Countries)
According to SaudiGazette.com, Dr. Faten Abdel-Rahman Khorshid has developed a potential cure for cancer based on camel urine.
Korshid is a Saudi scientist, faculty member at King Abdul Aziz University and President of the Tissues Culture Unit at King Fahd Center for Medical Research. After five years of research, she has announced that nano-particles in camel urine can be used to fight cancer.
Dr. Khorshid says she was inspired by medical advice given by the Prophet Muhammad in the Koran.
“This treatment is not an invention,” she said, “but rather, taken from our Prophet’s legacy.”
In related news, President Obama announced that the “stimulus” had saved or created another 150,000 jobs, demonstrating his theory that the economy can be cured with bullshit.
Al Gore compared the battle against climate change with the struggle against the Nazis, who are apparently today’s global warming realists.
Al Gore's vision of global warming realists
What is it with newspapers named “The Times?” No mater where they may be located, they seem to do whatever necessary to support liberals. Even the Times of London is now marching in lockstep with the New York Times and the Los Angeles Times.
Al Gore was in England last week to issue his latest doom and gloom proclamation. The Times of London first reported his speech this way:
Al Gore today compared the battle against climate change with the struggle against the Nazis.
Nazis? Global warming realists are now like Nazis?
Five hours later, the Times story had magically been rewritten, the comparison of global warming realists to Nazis had been removed, and Gore had been recast to appear much more statesman-like:
Al Gore invoked the spirit of Winston Churchill today by encouraging political leaders to follow the example of Britain’s wartime leader and unite their nations to fight climate change.
Where’d those global warming Nazis go? Probably off to kill a few polar bears.
Former Sen. Vincent Fumo misappropriated millions from New Jersey and two nonprofits. But his democrat party affiliation is not mentioned until end of article.
Vincent Fumo is going to prison, where his party may be able to establish a quorum
This is an ugly, ugly story of corruption in – would you believe it – New Jersey. And an even uglier story of the media burying that politician’s political party.
A former Pennsylvania lawmaker who prosecutors said became “drunk with power” in his many years in the state Senate was sentenced Tuesday to less than five years in prison, a steep departure down from what the judge was asked to impose for the corruption conviction.
Former Sen. Vincent Fumo misappropriated millions from the state and two nonprofits. A jury found he used their coffers to clean his mansion, charter yachts, and spy on an ex-girlfriend and political foes.
“Maybe I should not have asked my staff to do the favors I did,” an ashen-faced Fumo said before he was sentenced. “Judge, I never intended to steal. The last thing on my mind was taking money from anybody. I’ve never done that.”
Remarkably, we don’t learn which political party Fumo was affiliated until the 17th paragraph of this story and even then it’s only mentioned peripherally:
Gov. Ed Rendell, a spying target and sometime rival, called his fellow Democrat “ruthless” but told the judge in a letter that Fumo nonetheless “has a deep sense of social responsibility.”
Which news source buried Fumo’s Democrat affiliation? If you guessed CBS, you’d be wrong. If you guessed NBC, you’d be wrong. If you guessed Associated Press, you’d be wrong. If you guessed MSNBC, you’d be wrong.
The offending news organization turns out to be those dastardly conservatives at Fox News.
Don’t look now, Keith Olbermann, but this looks suspiciously fair and balanced.
President Obama tripped up in L’Aquila, Italy last week. Surely, you saw this clip headlining all the network nightly newscasts. What’s that? You’ve never seen this clip until now?
President Obama tripped up in L’Aquila, Italy last week. Surely, you saw this clip headlining all the network nightly newscasts.
What’s that? You’ve never seen this clip until now?
Perhaps that’s because the same media that delighted in exposing every little faux pas by George Bush has now decided that President and the Presidency must be treated with the utmost respect.
Candidate Obama condemned presidential signing statements – presidential interpretations of bills issued as they are signed into law. George Bush issued more than 750 of them. Now some leading Democrats complain that Obama has broken his word about curtailing the practice.
It’s one thing when the polls turn on you. It’s another when your own party turns on you. But that’s exactly where President Obama finds himself today.
Candidate Obama condemned presidential signing statements – presidential interpretations of bills issued as they are signed into law. George Bush issued more than 750 of them. Now some leading Democrats complain that Obama has broken his word about curtailing the practice.
“It’s outrageous. It’s exactly what the Bush people did,” Financial Services Chairman Barney Frank insisted.
Last week the house voted 429-2 to reinstate restrictions on $108 billion in International Monetary Fund loan guarantees that had been eliminated by an Obama signing statement last month.
Democrats Frank, House Appropriations Committee Chairman David Obey and New York Democratic Reps. Nita Lowey and Gregory Meeks will inform the president today that Congress will cut off the funds he wants if he issues another signing statement on IMF and World Bank funding.
Oooh, this could get ugly. Of course, that’s always a possibility when Barney Frank is involved.
Republican Chart of Healthcare showing the bureaucratic nightmare of ObamaCare, the House Democrats healthcare plan, was revealed today. Pray to God you never get sick again.
(CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE REPUBLICAN CHART OF HEALTHCARE BUREAUCRACY)
Welcome to ObamaCare, ladies and gentlemen. This is where the separation of church and state will fall apart, because you’re going to pray to God you never get sick again.
The President’s Plan to Stop illegal immigration: Allow illegal aliens to flood across the border, then send out harshly-worded letters to anyone who might consider hiring them.
Illegal aliens to not appear to be too intimidated by harshly-worded letters
The President’s Plan to Stop illegal immigration: Allow illegal aliens to flood across the border, then send out harshly-worded letters to anyone who might consider hiring them.
Yes, you read that correctly. Instead of actually preventing illegal aliens from crossing the border and instead of raiding the businesses where they work, President Obama is is taking a different path. He’s sending harshly-worded form letters to businesses that might violate immigration laws. (As an aside, that sounds a lot like profiling to us.)
The dreaded letters are called I-9 forms. And employers are supposed to fill one out for every worker and keep it on file.
Homeland Security says Immigration & Customs Enforcement has already sent “Notices of Inspection” to 652 businesses this year, a big increase over the 503 notices issued all of last year.
We assume this harshly-worded letter was written by the same folks who sent a harshly-worded letter to Kim Jong-Il. And we all know how well that worked.
Vladimir Putin sent warm birthday greetings to the supposedly universally-hated George W. Bush just hours before meeting with the supposedly universally-loved Barack Obama.
Vladimir Putin demonstrating that Barack Obama isn't the only world leader with manly pecs
Apparently, Vladimir Putin hasn’t been watching MSNBC. He doesn’t seem to know that America’s friends and foes alike are supposed to hate George Bush.
Putin sent warm birthday greetings to the supposedly universally-hated Bush just hours before meeting with the supposedly universally-loved Barack Obama.
“During the last years we have been working on strengthening Russia-U.S. cooperation. Although there were differences between our countries, I always valued your openness and sincerity,” Putin said. “With special warmth I recall your hospitality in the Crawford ranch and your family estate in Kennebunkport.”
“I’ll never forget that night we spent together watching Brokeback Mountain,” he added. “And talking until the sun came up.”
Note: We made that last paragraph up. Vladimir Putin could kick our scrawny blogging asses and we sincerely apologize for any embarrassment our snide comments may cause him.
It’s not an officlal caption contest, but feel free to contribute an appropriate caption for this photo of CNN’s inept Anderson Cooper.
