Joke of the Day: Nancy Pelosi is a saint

by editor on July 21, 2011

One hot Saturday afternoon in July an aide to Nancy Pelosi visited the Cardinal of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Washington, D.C.

He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day’s Mass and asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi to the Congregation and say a few words that would include calling Pelosi a saint.

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"...and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi to the Congregation and say a few words that would include calling Pelosi a saint."

“No,” the Cardinal replied. “I don’t really like the woman, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Pelosi’s views.”

Pelosi’s aide then said, “Look, I’ll write a check here and now for a donation of $100,000 to your church if you’ll just tell the congregation you see Pelosi as a saint.”

The Cardinal thought about it and said, “Well, the church can use the money, so I’ll work your request into tomorrow’s sermon.”

As Pelosi’s aide promised, Pelosi appeared for the Sunday worship and seated herself prominently at the forward left side of the center aisle.

At the start of his sermon, the Cardinal pointed out that Speaker Pelosi was present.

“While Pelosi’s presence is probably an honor to some,” the Cardinal said to the congregation, “the woman is not numbered among my personal favorite personages. Some of her most egregious views are contrary to tenets of the Church, and she tends to flipflop on many other issues. Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker and a nitwit. Nancy Pelosi is also a serial liar, a cheat and a thief. I must say, Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever personally witnessed. She married for money and is using her wealth to lie to the American people. She also has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations both in Washington and in California. The woman is simply not to be trusted.”

“But when compared to President Obama,” the Cardinal concluded, “Pelosi is a saint.”

H/T: Ray

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35 Comments on "Joke of the Day: Nancy Pelosi is a saint"

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Always Sunny In Hell
Member
Always Sunny In Hell
July 22, 2011 3:23 am

Kinda makes sense though, pretty sure there’s no patron saint of Bullshit yet.

Vic
Member
Vic
July 23, 2011 3:12 pm

Are you sure about that Bryan? Then just what is Scary Harry reid’s position? OH YEAH!! He’s the Czar of Bullshit.

brm
Member
brm
July 22, 2011 5:53 am

Patron Saint of Bullshit? Pick a Kennedy, any Kennedy.

RockingHorseGuy
Member
July 22, 2011 1:48 pm

Is Olivia a Kennedy?

KimmyQueen
Guest
July 22, 2011 2:37 pm

Ha, ha!

drb
Member
drb
July 22, 2011 2:04 pm

If not directly then by proxy

brm
Member
brm
July 22, 2011 2:00 pm

Yes. She’s of the Illinois Kennedys.

poppajoe49
Member
poppajoe49
July 22, 2011 4:15 am

How about a patron saint of Botox?

KimmyQueen
Guest
July 22, 2011 10:45 am

She is the patron saint of botox at the least she is the spokewoman. She is like the caution photo of botox use.

poppajoe49
Member
poppajoe49
July 22, 2011 12:53 pm

WARNING, SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE LOOKING LIKE NANCY PELOSI!

KimmyQueen
Guest
July 22, 2011 2:41 pm

For real! Her picture associated with botox will diminish its use by a great percentage I am sure. :-)

JohnnyAmerica
Member
JohnnyAmerica
July 21, 2011 9:55 pm

I was so hoping this was a true story.

KimmyQueen
Guest
July 22, 2011 10:46 am

LOL

hisham
Guest
hisham
July 21, 2011 7:51 pm

Here, Here, and AMEN! Pass the plate please, second collection goes to the Saint Nancy P. Loosely defamation league!

poppajoe49
Member
poppajoe49
July 21, 2011 6:40 pm

This is my new favorite joke!

Buzzsaw
Guest
Buzzsaw
July 21, 2011 6:36 pm

I would like to shake that gentleman’s hand, God bless him!

Navyvet
Member
Navyvet
July 21, 2011 5:55 pm

“She married for money.” Whyinell would anybody with money marry a skank like her. For that matter, why would someone even without money marry a skank like her. Boy talk about coyote ugly. Wake up with that and you’d never drink again.

Vic
Member
Vic
July 21, 2011 7:18 pm

Well, back around the dawn of time, she was Miss America. At one time Skanky Pelosi was a thing of beauty. This was back when electrons were still square, the Ark was sailing the high seas (why thell didn’t Noah kill those two damned mosquitos when he had the chance????) and it only took a quarter to buy a gallon of gas. (before democrats went nutzoil raising taxes…)

danybhoy
Member
danybhoy
July 22, 2011 3:15 am

Pelosi came from a political family with money & power out east, Baltimore to be exact. Her old man, Thomas D’Alessandro, was a US Congressman & Mayor of Baltimore. Her hubby, Paul, also came from a well to do backround as well, I believe he’s from NYC.

Vic
Member
Vic
July 21, 2011 5:37 pm

OMG!!! That is the greatest thing I have seen today!!

Joe Redfield
Member
Joe Redfield
July 21, 2011 5:21 pm

Hold up there! The President is the making the jokes around here(unless I misread the previous post) so don’t go trying to hog the spotlight before he thinks of the punchline. Have a nice, long, weekend…

jukin
Guest
jukin
July 21, 2011 4:38 pm

The 110th congress will not tolerate deficit spending. This is the end of deficit spending.

Nanzi Pelosi….just before she went on to deficit spend $5 trillion dollars in four years.

Nanzi can pucker up and suck a nice wet shiny turd out of my asshole.

Navyvet
Member
Navyvet
July 21, 2011 5:53 pm

No problem for her if there is some cash up there.

Buck O'Fama
Guest
Buck O'Fama
July 21, 2011 4:30 pm

Unfortunately, it ain’t really a joke.

Ruben
Member
Ruben
July 21, 2011 4:02 pm

The classics never grow old!

Big Al
Member
Big Al
July 21, 2011 4:02 pm

More comedy gold! Thank you!

Neo-7
Member
Neo-7
July 21, 2011 3:30 pm

Me likes !!!

Ken.ca
Member
Ken.ca
July 21, 2011 3:26 pm

‘… but when ____________ (fill in the blank democrat) is compared to President Obama,” any sane person would conclude ____________ (fill in the blank democrat) is a saint.”

KimmyQueen
Guest
July 21, 2011 7:11 pm

Right. It is something that can work with virtually everyone… except perhaps for Edwards… That guy is just going from bad to worst and all of his own doing.

RockingHorseGuy
Member
July 21, 2011 9:51 pm

Pelosi has only done less damage than Obama because she had less power than him. Heaven forbid the Dems ever elect her to the White House.

KimmyQueen
Guest
July 22, 2011 10:44 am

She is completely unelectable. I think that Democrats even know that she is a joke. I would love if she ran it will be hilarious. However she adores and worships Obama she won’t do it this time around.

RockingHorseGuy
Member
July 22, 2011 1:36 pm

If she ran in a primary, I would switch parties to vote for her. I would just hope it didn’t backfire on me and she got elected.

LA Sunset
Member
July 21, 2011 3:16 pm

LMAO

MGAP
Member
MGAP
July 21, 2011 2:05 pm

I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there.

MGAP
Member
MGAP
July 21, 2011 2:06 pm

and true.

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