Chris Christie says, “I’m not arrogant enough to believe that after one year as governor I am ready to be President”

Hmmmmm. That seems subtle. Wonder who he’s talking about. Who’s been elected President recently without enough experience to handle the job? We just can’t put our finger on it, damn it.

Hmmmmm. That seems subtle. Wonder who he’s talking about. Who’s been elected President recently without enough experience to handle the job? We just can’t put our finger on it, damn it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mac39dNHcyc

The Hill reported Christie’s candor:

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) brushed off a Zogby poll from earlier this month that showed him leading a pack of hypothetical GOP 2012 contenders, adamantly stressing that’s not in his plans.

“The president can rest easy because the only guy who beats him in that poll isn’t running,” Christie said on “Fox News Sunday.”

“I have a commitment to my state,” he said, adding that he’d only been governor for a year and New Jersey’s problems still need fixing.

“You have to believe in your heart that you’re personally ready to be president and I’m not there,” Christie said. “I am not arrogant enough to believe that after one year as governor … that I am ready to be president of the United States.”

“So I’m not going to run,” the governor said.

Yeah, we know. We’ve heard all the complaints that Christie really isn’t a real conservative, but we still love the guy.

The other way to interpret Christie’s statement is that he thinks he will be ready to be President after he’s been Governor for some as yet unspecified period of time.

Can you say 2016?

Source: TheHill.com

EXCLUSIVE: The unauthorized Obama bio, Chapter IX: “Birthers Gonna Be the Death of Me”

IHateTheMedia.com presents this exclusive, pre-release excerpt from the eagerly awaited, unauthorized bio of Presidential Obama. Today, our third installment.

IHateTheMedia.com presents this exclusive, pre-release excerpt from the eagerly awaited, unauthorized bio of Presidential Obama.

Vice President Joe Biden was already in the Oval Office waiting for the President when Barack opened the door and came in.

As Barack walked toward his desk, he couldn’t help but note that Joe seemed somewhat nervous, and that he was holding a sheet of paper in his hand. In fact, Joe seemed more afloat than usual, and was having no success in concealing it.

obama-biden-laughing
Then, taking a deep breath, he emitted a loud, falsely jovial chortle. "Ha ha, it's all a ruse, Joe! Boy, what these people won't do for attention."

Barack settled behind his desk and said, “Have a seat, Joe. What’s up?”

Joe sat down and waved the sheet of paper in front of him. “B, have you heard about this ‘birther’ thing that’s going around?”

Oh, God, thought Barack, Joe’s finally found out. He sighed. Oh, well, let’s see where this goes.

“Why, yes, Joe, I have. Yet another Republican ploy designed to subvert my credibility. It really bothers them that a black man is in the White House, you know. Everyone thought Hilary was going to be sitting here, and they just can’t take it. Hence, this whole ‘birther’ thing.” He smiled at Joe, benignly.

Joe still seemed antsy, out of character with his usual go-for-broke, uninformed, headlong, hell-with-the-facts instincts. He reached up to scratch a niggling hair implant.

Continue reading “EXCLUSIVE: The unauthorized Obama bio, Chapter IX: “Birthers Gonna Be the Death of Me””

Conclusions that can be drawn from this video clip: (1) Chris Matthews is a racist. (2) Chris Matthews is a lunatic. (3) Both of the above.

So the way we understand Matthews bizarre comment, blacks huddle together with other blacks at Democrat conventions, but blend right in at Republican conventions.

MSNBC’s Chris Matthews has become increasingly erratic since the November elections. That traumatic event seems to have picked him up and tossed him across that fine line that sometimes separates sanity from insanity.

Witness this interview with Michael Steele, the outgoing head of the Republican National Committee.

Matthews: Michael, I watch politics. I’m not an expert on sociology or anything but I’m an expert on watching politics. Like Gene, this what we do. I go to Republican conventions, I go to Democratic and as a white guy one thing I notice about the difference, one thing I notice about black people at different conventions. You go to Democratic a convention with Donna [Edwards] and black folk are hanging together and having a good time. They’re smiling, they’re enjoying themselves. They feel very much at home. You go to a Republican even you get a feeling that you are told, “Individually now, don’t bunch up. Don’t, don’t, don’t get together. Don’t get together, don’t crowd, you’ll scare these people.” Is that true in the Republican Party? Is that still true in your party? Did you fear that if you got together with some other African-Americans white guys might get scared of you?

Steele: (shocked) No! What are you talking about?

So the way we understand Matthews’ bizarre comment, blacks huddle together with other blacks at Democrat conventions, but blend right in at Republican conventions. And in Matthews’ mind, that leads to the obvious conclusion that Republicans are racists.

It’s that kind of insightful analysis that has earned Matthews dozens, maybe even scores of viewers.

H/T: NewsBusters.org

Evil rightwing website endorses killing you, us, everyone

If we weren’t exceptionally strong individuals with high moral standards and unimpeachable characters, WeaselZippers’ heated visual rhetoric might have inspired us to commit unthinkable, unspeakable acts.

WeaselZippers.us used to be one of our favorite websites. Until, that is, we realized that they were advocating violence.

If we weren’t exceptionally strong individuals with high moral standards and unimpeachable characters, WeaselZippers’ heated visual rhetoric might have inspired us to commit unthinkable, unspeakable acts.

As you can see, WeaselZippers features a target on its home page. That’s right, a target!

weasel-zippers

By using this hideous image, WeaselZippers.us is obviously calling for the overthrow of the United States government, the assassination of prominent politicians and innocent civilians, and, of course, attempting to subliminally influence the criminally insane to carry out acts of violence on its behalf.

Oh, sure, they will undoubtedly say they were just trying to sell a little ad space, but we believe our readers are smart enough to see through this clever right wing lie.

We beg each and every one of you not to visit this extreme right wing, racist, homophobic, sexist site until it removes this invitation to assassination from its header.

Have you no shame, WeaselZippers? Have you no shame?

Source: WeaselZippers.us

Man who used to be woman marries woman who used to be man, finds out she has daughter who used to be son

Dominik was a woman, Andrea was a man, and now after switching their genders they are a couple watching the son Dominik gave birth to, turn into a woman.

In the words of the Kinks, “It’s a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world.” Unless we’re mistaken, they left out “screwed up.”

family-photo
This photo has absolutely nothing to do with this story, but it just sort of seemed appropriate

AFP has the details:

Dominik was a woman, Andrea was a man, and now after switching their genders they are a couple watching the son Dominik gave birth to, turn into a woman.

Fifteen years ago, Ilona Tomeckova, a woman living in eastern Czech Republic, left her husband and young son to move to Prague and become Dominik Sejda, a man, Czech Television said in a report on its website Tuesday.

After becoming a man, Dominik found it hard to find a partner for years, but two years ago he [sic] met Andrea Kajzarova, another transsexual who, before a sex change, was a man named Tomas Kajzar, a bodybuilder.

… After meeting Andrea, Dominik decided to resume contacts with his [sic] former family, only to learn in awe that his [sic] son Radim was in the process of turning into a girl named Viktoria.

“I found a sexologist in May, she sent me to different checks, including genetics. My diagnosis was always ‘transsexual’,” said Radim, whose biological mother Dominik now insists on calling her son “Viki.

Man now woman. Woman now man. Son now daughter. IHTM now confused.

H/T: Moonbattery

Frightening evidence of China’s looming economic bubble: The ghost mall

A couple weeks ago the internet was abuzz about photos of entirely empty Chinese cites the government had built just to prop up the appearance of a rapidly growing economy. Now here’s more evidence – the New South China Mall in Dongguan, which has been empty for six years.

Some experts say the economic bubble in China is going to make ours look like a mere hiccup.

A couple weeks ago the internet was abuzz about photos of entirely empty Chinese cites the government had built just to prop up the appearance of a rapidly growing economy. Now here’s more evidence – the New South China Mall in Dongguan, which has been empty for six years.

DailyReckoning.com has the depressing details:

Once heralded as “the largest mall in the world, bustling with customers,” the mall is now overwhelmingly desolate, just “floor upon floor of emptiness.” This is even on a Saturday, and even with a fully-operational theme park. The best way to boost foot traffic? Expand another 200,000 square meters, according to the mall’s owners. They plan for the development to ultimately reach over one million square meters of residential and retail space.

It’s already been about six years since the nearly-vacant mall opened … things are bound to turn around any day now.

Hedge-fund manager Jim Chanos, who foretold the collapse of Enron, says that China is on a “treadmill to hell” because it’s relied on real estate development to underpin its economic growth.

We read last week that China is bailing out the collapsed economies in Europe. So who bails out China when its economy collapses?

New union threat: If you won’t unionize, we’ll tell everyone you’re a human rights violator

These are desperate days in union organizing halls across the fruited plain. Union membership is going down faster than Barney Frank on Fire Island. So the union goons have come up with something new: Join us or we’ll tell everyone you’re a human rights violator.

These are desperate days in union organizing halls across the fruited plain. Union membership is going down faster than Barney Frank on Fire Island.

So the union goons have come up with something new: Join us or we’ll tell everyone you’re a human rights violator.

uaw-strike
The United Auto Workers: Kickin' ass against human rights violators everywhere

Autoblog has the overwrought details:

United Auto Workers president Bob King wants to reverse the UAW’s eroding course, and one of the best ways to strengthen its position is through increased membership. The Detroit News reports that King and company are looking to bring the power of one to the nearest transplant automaker producing vehicles in the U.S. King says that he wants foreign automakers to know that the UAW has learned from past mistakes and that the rank and file is not “the evil empire.” Good to know, right? Well…

After King informed the transplants that the dark side has no power over the UAW, he then went on to tell automaker management at Toyota and Honda that efforts to block the right to fair bargaining will be branded “human rights violators.”

So there you have it. According to the geniuses at the United Auto Workers, Toyota and Honda have now joined the Nazis and the Khmer Rouge in the ranks of human rights violators.

Far be it from us to doubt the wisdom of the UAW, but we think this one’s going to be tougher to sell than a Prius without a tax credit.

H/T: Bluegrass Pundit

How insane Federal policy turned the Breadbasket of the World into the Unemployment Capital of America

Food prices are not up just because increasingly wealthy Indians and Chinese are putting strains on worldwide food production. It’s also because insane Federal policy has destroyed the Breadbasket of the World.

You may have noticed – and seriously, how could you have missed it – that food prices are soaring.

It’s not just because increasingly wealthy Indians and Chinese are putting strains on worldwide food production. It’s also because insane Federal policy has destroyed the Breadbasket of the World.

Reason Magazine describes the disaster that has become the California’s Central Valley:

California’s Central Valley is a 450 mile long stretch of flat and fertile land that produces much of the food that we enjoy every day. But the people in small towns like Mendota (the cantaloupe capital of the world) are suffering these days, in part due to two federal policies.



In order to protect a threatened fish species called the Delta Smelt, much of the water that used to be pumped from the Sacramento-San Joaquin Delta to farms on the west side of the San Joaquin Valley is now allowed to flow into the ocean. The result is predictable: hundreds of thousands of acres of farm land lies fallow and tens of thousands of jobs have been lost. In Mendota, the unemployment rate is over 40% and food lines are the norm.


But people going hungry in a region dominated by agriculture is only one of the contradictions in the Central Valley.



Nearly all the valley’s farm workers are immigrants from Mexico and Central America, and many of them are undocumented. These people are crucial to the valley’s economy, but they’re breaking the law according to the federal government.

Watch the video. It will simultaneously break your heart and piss you off.

EXCLUSIVE: The unauthorized Obama bio, Chapter VI: “L’Affaire McChrystal”

IHateTheMedia.com presents this exclusive, pre-release excerpt from the eagerly awaited, unauthorized bio of Presidential Obama. Second Excerpt.

IHateTheMedia.com presents this exclusive, pre-release excerpt from the eagerly awaited, unauthorized bio of Presidential Obama.

Barack was worn out, emotionally. What he had just had to do was painful, possibly the most excruciating thing he had done since taking office. He was convinced that it was necessary, but that didn’t make it feel any better.

obama-mcchrystal
Barack looked at the Vice President and said quietly, "I just fired General McChrystal, Joe."

He sighed and looked through the papers on his desk. What next? he thought. What should I dive into now? I have a little time to myself before the next meeting, and maybe I can get started on –

Just then, there was a knock on the door, it opened, and a voice said, “Hey, B, it’s me.” Joe Biden trotted into the Oval Office, obviously in a great mood, and grinning broadly.

Joe sat down in a chair facing Barack and said, “I just passed General McChrystal in the hall on the way here. What a great guy. A real soldier’s soldier. A man’s man. You know, I just feel good knowing that he’s in charge in Afghanistan. I have this feeling that he’s gonna work out just fine.” Joe beamed at Barack, expecting the President to bolster his own take on things.

Barack looked at the Vice President and said quietly, “I just fired General McChrystal, Joe.”

For a moment, Joe thought that he had been stabbed with an electric cattle prod. He felt somehow adrift, even more so than usual, and didn’t quite know how to react.

Finally, he pulled himself together enough to ask, “But why, B? He’s a great general.”

“That may very well be, Joe,” replied Barack, “but his attitude is wanting. Did you read his recent interview in Rolling Stone, by any chance?”

“Uh, no, haven’t had the chance to read much lately, you know, what with the duties of being Vice President and all –”

Continue reading “EXCLUSIVE: The unauthorized Obama bio, Chapter VI: “L’Affaire McChrystal””

Governor of Maine tells NAACP to kiss his butt. Hey, get in line, Gov.

You’re going to wish Paul LePage was governor of your state instead of Maine. He’s never been known for being reticent and certainly wasn’t on Thursday when he said exactly what we’ve all wanted to say once or twice.

You’re going to wish Paul LePage was governor of your state instead of Maine. He’s never been known for being reticent and certainly wasn’t on Thursday when he said exactly what we’ve all wanted to say once or twice.

Paul LePage
Racist Maine Governor Paul LePage and his racist family (please ignore the son on the right)

WCSH6.com has details of the pucker heard ‘round the world:

While attending a meeting for business leaders in Sanford, Governor Paul LePage spoke out about why he would not attend Martin Luther King ceremonies on the upcoming holiday.

LePage has declined invitations from the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP). The organization has already expressed its displeasure with the governor’s plans to not attend the events.

“They are a special interest. End of story…and I’m not going to be held hostage by special interests. And if they want, they can look at my family picture. My son happens to be black, so they can do whatever they’d like about it,” said LePage.


LePage has an adopted son who is from Jamaica.

When LePage was asked if his non-participation is more than one instance, and rather a pattern, he replied, “Tell ’em to kiss my butt. If they want to play the race card, come to dinner and my son will talk to them.”

Who among us hasn’t heard about some new nonsense from the NAACP and thought, “Kiss my butt.” Except, we must admit, “butt” has never been our word of choice.

Source: WCSH6.com

Chris Matthews’ latest: Obama’s opponents are “crackers on the right”

Cracker? Cracker, Chris? That sounds racist to us. But perhaps we’re wrong. Let’s double check the definition of cracker before we make any rash accusations

File this one under “Things That Would Be Called Racism If A Conservative Said Them.” You can’t miss it. It’s that big, bulging file right over there.

Here’s Matthews at his racist (but he’s liberal so the media won’t call it that) best:

“So much of this attack on Obama has been ad hominem — directed at the person, the president. Whether it’s somebody, some cracker out there on the right calling him — some birther type that he’s not an American or it is someone a little more sophisticated, but basically saying he’s a socialist.”

Cracker? Cracker, Chris? That sounds racist to us. But perhaps we’re wrong. Let’s double check the definition of cracker before we make any rash accusations:

Wikipedia says, “Cracker, sometimes white cracker, is a pejorative term for poor white people. It is especially used for the white inhabitants of the U.S. states of Georgia and Florida (Georgia crackers and Florida crackers), but it is also used throughout the Southern United States and more widely in North America.”

Oh, but that’s just Wikipedia and you know it’s not authoritative. So let’s try a more reputable source like Merriam-Webster: “usually disparaging : a poor usually Southern white”

There you have it. Chris Matthews is a liberal racist. Look for Katie Couric to lead off her newscast with this story tonight. Look for Keith Olbermann to name him Worst Person In the World. Look for … nahhh … none of that stuff will happen because Chris is a member in good standing in the Society of Liberal Media.

H/T: Bluegrass Pundit

Source: Wikipedia, Merriam-Webster

You know you’re friggin’ crazy when even Dennis Kucinich knows you’re friggin’ crazy

Ed Schultz prefaces an interview with Dennis Kucinich with some of his typical outlandish bombast and pseudo-angry overstatement and assumes the radical Congresman will follow his lead. Didn’t.

This is rich. This is classic. Some nights – Thursday, for example – things just don’t go the way poor ol’ Ed Schultz thinks they’re going to go. In this clip, for example, Ed prefaces an interview with Dennis Kucinich with some of his typical outlandish bombast and pseudo-angry overstatement and assumes the radical Congresman will follow his lead.

Sorry, Ed. It didn’t work out that way.

Schultz: John Boehner has to deal with all of this tea party rhetoric in his caucus, and has no interest in trying to work with the President. Sarah Palin, and the Tan Man, and the rest of the Republicans have no interest in rising to the President’s challenge on tone and accepting the plea to change it all. They already have a post-Tucson mentality. They don’t care about stripping 32 million Americans from getting their healthcare. They don’t give a damn about kids with pre-existing conditions. And they want every American armed and dangerous. Pretty clear – this is all about putting Democrats on the defensive, and filling their campaign coffers for 2012.

That’s the way, Ed. You give those evil Republicans what for. You set the plate for the Congressman. You throw him a hanging curveball and he’ll pound it out of the park.

Schultz: … I will not belittle you at all by asking you what kind of firearm you’re going to carry on the House floor if that were to ever pass. So we’ll get on to the serious business of real tone.

Kucinich didn’t realize Ed was attempting to make a joke. He sat there as straight-faced as Washington on Mount Rushmore, Schultz’ attempted ha-ha going right over his head. So Ed plowed ahead although the hurt expression on his face told you he was a little pissy that his sophisticated wit had gone unappreciated.

Schultz: The President made a plea, not only to members of Congress but to the country, to change the tone. What effect do you think it will have in the wake of some of the developments in the stories we just put out tonight about the actions of some of the Republicans. Your take on all of this?

Kucinich: … You know, I love you and you’re one of the most passionate defenders of the people that’s in the media. But, you know, John Boehner is actually, I thought, set a very good tone. I mean, he really rose to the occasion in a way that I suppose is surprising people. I’ve known John a long time and I think he’s been very statesmanlike in the way that he’s responded to the tragedy in Arizona. Now you know, we have a debate coming up on healthcare and I don’t know that he’s going to be able to control everything his members will say, but I think he’s trying to understand that the atmosphere has changed dramatically and that the President set a tone that all of us have to pay attention to.

At this point Ed was obviously more than just a bit put off by Kucinich’s willingness to give Boehner the benefit of the doubt. Why, Ed wondered, won’t this bozo join me in frothing at the mouth?

Schultz: Do you know if he’s publicly called on members of his party and of his caucus to tone it down? Because I’ve missed that story Congressman.

Kuchinich: Well, you know what? John Boehner is not a person who is a flamethrower himself and it’s important to remember that, Ed, because he’s not someone who’s going to approve of anyone who is, you know, he’s going to push the Republican agenda I got that and I don’t agree with him, but he’s not going to approve of anything that will increase the intensity. of rhetoric. That’s really is something he has to reflect on and something our President has cautioned about.

Damn, we wish we could have been there at the next commercial break when Ed fell to the floor, quivering and biting his tongue.

H/T: JammieWearingFool

Fiscal lunatics on parade: 9% want to solve our problems by raising taxes

Nine percent want to raise taxes. Nice freakin’ percent. This is about as one-sided a poll as you’re ever going to see. More than nine percent believe in Sasquatch and UFOs, for god’s sake.

Nine percent want to raise taxes. Nice freakin’ percent. This is about as one-sided a poll as you’re ever going to see. More than nine percent believe in Sasquatch and UFOs, for god’s sake. Nine percent probably think Lindsay Lohan should be president.

staight-jacket
Nine percent think we need to raise taxes. Our guess? Nine percent of the country is also insane.

CBS News has the bad news for big spenders:

A new CBS News poll finds that Americans strongly prefer cutting spending to raising taxes to reduce the federal deficit. While 77 percent prefer to cut spending, just nine percent call for raising taxes. Another nine percent want to do both.

Yet most Americans could not volunteer a program they’d be willing to see cut in order to reduce the deficit – only 38 percent could name a program they would support cutting. The top responses were military/defense (six percent), Social Security/Medicare (four percent) and welfare/food stamps (four percent).

How about starting with these simple steps: (1) Freeze spending. (2) Free hiring until the Federal workforce is 10% smaller via attrition. Maybe 20%. (3) Then require each department to cut its spending by 10% on top of that. (4) Then go in and start cutting specific programs. And (5) End baseline budgeting.

Crap. We’re pissed off now and don’t even have a punch line for this story.

Source: CBS News

Consensus at last! Democrat pollster Pat Caddell calls NY Times columnist Paul Krugman “a flat-out asshole”

Former Carter pollster Pat Caddell is a Democrat, but to us he’s always seemed to be one of the more rational ones. Now, perhaps, more than ever.

Former Carter pollster Pat Caddell is a Democrat, but to us he’s always seemed to be one of the more rational ones. Now, perhaps, more than ever.

The Daily Caller has news of Caddell’s anus animus:

On Fox News Channel’s Friday airing of “Red Eye,” host Greg Gutfeld wondered if the media were in denial over the notion it had little to do with the actions of Jared Loughner, the suspect in the recent Tucson, Ariz. shooting.

“Here’s an interesting point — as the truth comes out about this nutcase, doesn’t it seem like the media can’t believe that the killer doesn’t care about them?” Gutfeld asked. “It’s like they think they had an impact on him, when in fact all he cares about is UFOs.”

That led Caddell to launch into a rant about the media, specifically naming New York Times columnist and Nobel Prize-winning economist Paul Krugman and Newsweek and Daily Beast columnist Jonathan Alter.

“[T]he point is – you know, this thing started – I have to say, when I look at [Paul] Krugman and Jonathan Alter, with his advice and the president, ‘Don’t let this go to waste – let’s make it like Oklahoma City,’ and Krugman who is just a flat-out asshole, I’m sorry – these people, what they did…”

Caddell indicated their initial response should have been different.

“People are dead and the first thing you have to do is go to politics, I mean no wonder the country hates the media and hates the politicians,” he said.

Yes. We hate the media. You hate the media. And now Pat Caddell confesses that the country hates the media.

Source: Daily Caller

White House says it was surprised at the applause during Obama’s Tucson speech. Photo says otherwise.

When asked about the numerous outbursts of applause during President Obama’s speech at the Tucson memorial service, Press Secretary Roert Gibbs claimed on Thursday that they were a complete surprise to the good folks in the White House.

UPDATE: What do you think? Is the “Applause” indicator in this image a prompt for the audience or is it closed captioning for the hearing impaired?

Now that so many people have brought up the second possibility, we not sure. Either way the question remains: Why were people applauding at a memorial service?

That leaves us with two options: Either the prompt was horribly inappropriate or the audience was horribly inappropriate. Take your choice.

If it turns out to be closed captioning, we apologize to Robert Gibbs. If it turns out to be an applause prompt, we apologize to the friends and families of the victims on behalf of the audience.

When asked about the numerous outbursts of applause during President Obama’s speech at the Tucson memorial service, Press Secretary Roert Gibbs claimed on Thursday that they were a complete surprise to the good folks in the White House.

“I will say that I read the speech several times and thought that there wouldn’t be a lot of applause if any. I think many of us thought that. But I think there was a celebration, again, of the lives of those who had been impacted. Not just at that grocery store but throughout the country. And I think that, if that is part of the healing process, then that’s a good thing.”

But this photo shows the crowd was responding to built-in applause instructions. Kind of like when Oprah’s audience goes wild at her every word.

tucson Obama speech Applause

In the words of White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, “Who you gonna believe – me or your lying eyes?”

Excuse our incredulity, Robert, but if you read the script you saw the “Pause for applause” instructions scattered throughout. Couldn’t have missed them.

In the words of Judge Judy, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining.”

Source: Associated Press

H/T: Gateway Pundit

EXCLUSIVE: The unauthorized Obama bio, Chapter III: “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”

IHateTheMedia.com presents this exclusive, pre-release excerpt from the eagerly awaited, unauthorized bio of President Obama.

IHateTheMedia.com presents this exclusive, pre-release excerpt from the eagerly awaited, unauthorized biography of President Obama.

It had been a long day, and it was only mid-afternoon.

Barack settled into the chair behind his desk and slowly exhaled. He was finally alone in the Oval Office, all by himself, with no hangers-on, nothing to sign, no meetings to attend. With luck, he might have a few minutes just to himself. He actually started to relax just a bit.

unauthorized obama biography
"What was that, Joe? I didn't quite hear you," said Barack.

There was a knock at the door, it opened, and a voice said, “Hey, B! How’s it hangin’?” And Joe Biden walked in.

Oh, God, thought Barack, it’s Ramblin’ Joe. Mentally, he steeled himself against the inevitable, smiled, and said, “Hi, Joe. How’s your day going?”

Without being invited, Joe plopped himself down in a chair facing the Presidential desk. His hair implants were bothering him, and he’d had a tough morning attempting, with no luck, to charm several gaggles of White House reporters.

“Oh, you know, the usual bullshit. Trying to look presidential and all that, even in the face of some people’s overwhelming stupidity. You know what that’s like.”

Barack looked at Joe for a moment, then said, “Yes, Joe, I know exactly what that’s like.”

“Hey, B,” Joe said, “I heard that you were thinking about repealing the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ rule for the armed forces. Is that true?”

Continue reading “EXCLUSIVE: The unauthorized Obama bio, Chapter III: “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell””

Tom Brokaw says, “I would be nervous about going into a bar in Arizona”

C’mon, Tom, who do you think you’re kidding? You’d be nervous about going into any bar more than a half a mile from Manhattan’s upper east side.

C’mon, Tom, who do you think you’re kidding? You’d be nervous about going into any bar more than a half a mile from Manhattan’s upper east side.

But if you should someday happen to find yourself in a bar in Arizona, take our advice. Don’t order any of the foo-foo drinks you sissy elitists normally order.

No Kahlua and milk. No brandy and ginger beer. No piña colada with pink umbrellas. No white wine. No raspberry Fanta. No appletini. No tequila with a splash of cranberry juice. No Baileys over vanilla ice cream. No Japanese plum wine and soda. And no Pink Ladies. Definitely no Pink Ladies.

Well, not unless you’re drinking with Barney Frank and he’s dressed in his Village People cowboy costume and you’re in that special little bar he knows in Scottsdale.

One other tip: When you’re introduced to a man in a bar in Arizona, do not say, “Is that a six shooter in your pocket or are you just happy to see me.”

H/T: Breitbart.com

Pity poor Arnold: Schwarzenegger says his stint as California governor cost him $200 million

The Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger claims that two terms of disserving the people of California cost him at least $200 million.

Arnold “The Worst Governor In History” Schwarzenegger went home to his native Austria to pat himself on the back because after seven years of his governorship, there’s apparently no one left in California who will still do it for him.

Awwww. The Governator claims that two terms of disserving the people of California cost him at least $200 million.

Arnold Schwarzenegger
Consider these photos symbolic of California's condition before-and-after Arnold's governorship

Reuters has his odd combination of self-adulation and self-flagellation:

Counting expenses and lost income from acting in Hollywood films, “in all it is probably more than $200 million,” he told Krone when asked how much his two terms in Sacramento had cost.

“But I’m not sorry. It was more than worth it,” he said.

“What was much worse was the damage my time as governor did to the family. There is a lot there that needs to be repaired,” he said, recalling the many Sunday evenings when his wife, Maria, and children broke out in tears at his heavy work schedule.

“We hate your job,” Schwarzenegger quoted family members as saying during his early years as governor when he would leave his Los Angeles home every Monday morning for the capital, Sacramento, and not return until the end of the week.

“It was heartbreaking every time,” said Schwarzenegger, a Republican who served as governor from 2003 until early this month. “In my second term of office, I did better. I tried to fly home every evening.”

The people of California had such high hopes for Arnold when he entered office. He said all the right things and started off as a good, hard-ass conservative. But when he lost the first battle to control state spending and his personal approval rating plummeted, the Governator clearly decided that being popular was more important than being a good governor.

In the end, he was neither.

But give us a break here, Arnold. Who the hell was going to pay you $200 million dollars to make movies? You entered politics because your movie career was over. Finished. Through. Kaput.

In 1996, Eraser stunk up the joint. In 1997, Batman & Robin bombed. In 1999, End of Days was a huge failure. In 2000, The Sixth Day and Collateral Damage tanked. And in 2003, Terminator 3 barely paid for itself. By late 1993, politics suddenly looked like a brilliant way to gently ease yourself out of failing career in Tinseltown.

A little known fact is that Arnold has probably made far more money in real estate than he made in movies. He owns half of toney downtown Santa Monica. In fact, he was once the Editor’s landlord in a beautiful building above Schatzi on Main, his Austrian restaurant. We shared the floor with Johnny Carson’s and Antonio Banderas’ production companies.

In the end, the state of California would have been much better off if Arnold’s post-Hollywood career had been devoted to real estate instead of destroying a great state.

Source: Reuters

H/T: KQ

Chris Matthews does what he accuses Palin of doing while accusing Palin of doing it

MSNBC’s Chris Matthews recalls the good old days in politics when horse racing metaphors like “front runner” and “handicapping the race” were used instead of war metaphors.

Based on ratings we know that few people watch MSNBC. But are the few trolls that do really listening?

At the 6:00 mark of the clip below (please skip ahead to that point and save six minutes of your life you’ll never get back) MSNBC’s Chris Matthews recalls the good old days in politics when horse racing metaphors like “front runner” and “handicapping the race” were used instead of war metaphors.

But he wasn’t waxing nostalgic without an agenda, he was using it as a setup to launch his daily attack on Sarah Palin, for using bullets and gun metaphors such as “bullseye” and “reloading.”

“Why?” Chris beseeches the gods, “why is Sarah Palin sticking to her guns? Why does she keep talking like this?”

Yes, while criticizing Palin for using gun metaphors Matthews used a gun metaphor.

We give up. At this point, we admit that we can no longer comprehend what’s happening on Hardball.

Is Matthew’s duplicity so ingrained that it spews forth naturally, irrepressibly, without forethought or calculation?

Or has his Palin Derangement Syndrome reached such an advanced stage that it has officially rendered him psychotic?

– Written by Sonny Palermo

The Republican Party: For those who think young

Just in case you’re sick and tired of reading about how Barack Obama has connected with America’s youth and how Republicans are a bunch of out of touch old fogies, this story is for you.

Just in case you’re sick and tired of reading about how Barack Obama has connected with America’s youth and how Republicans are a bunch of out of touch old fogies, this story is for you.

robert-byrd
Thanks to the death of Robert Byrd, the average age of Congressional Democrats dropped to under 100

As a result of the November elections, the average Republican in Congress is younger than the average Democrat.

The Washington Examiner has the chronological calculations:

The average age of Republican House members in the new Congress convening today is 54.9, younger than the Republicans’ average age in the previous Congress, 56.5. But the average age of House Democrats has risen, from 58 to 60.2. That can be explained partly by the high turnover in the 2010 election. Many younger Democrats, first elected in 2006 or 2008, fell by the wayside. The old bulls from 65 percent-plus Democratic districts survived. Meanwhile, many young Republican challengers won.

But the results are historically anomalous. Going back to the Congress elected in 1950, there has never been more than a 2.8-year difference in the average age of House Republicans and House Democrats. The difference in this Congress is 5.3 years, almost double that.

The picture is similar on the Senate side of the Capitol, where the average age of Republicans is 61.4 and the average age of Democrats is 63.1. That’s as wide a margin as in any Senate since the one produced by the election of 1982.

Of course, the average age of the Democrats in the Senate dropped about 15 years with the death of Robert Byrd.

In case it makes the Democrats feel any better, which is always our goal here at IHateTheMedia.com, it should be noted that the average age of Independents in Congress is 68.5.

Of course, that’s still younger than the Democrat leadership – Harry Reid (72), Nancy Pelosi (71), James Clyburn (70) and Steny Hoyer (70).

Source: Washington Examiner

Not news: Dog bites man. News: Cop tasers camel.

For a tiny town — fewer than 3000 souls call it home -– Kiln, Mississippi has had its share of national headlines.

For a tiny town — fewer than 3000 souls call it home -– Kiln, Mississippi has had its share of national headlines.

camel
The perpetrator

First there was local boy Brett Favre making good (before making not so good). Then there was its ordeal with Hurricane Katrina. And now there is the case of the camel that would not comply.

Local rag The Sea Coast Echo has all of the harried details:

Major Bobby Underwood of the Hancock County Sheriff’s Department said Wednesday his department first began getting complaints about the camel on Dec. 4.

According to Underwood, Nedra Lewis of Waveland was driving through Kiln when she noticed the camel outside the fence at Berdine’s residence.

Lewis told police that she pulled into the driveway hoping to notify the owners that the camel was on the lam, but the camel attacked her red Nissan, Underwood said.

Startled and trapped in her car, Lewis called police, Underwood said.

Underwood went on to report that after the camel refused to comply with his orders he tasered him. In reference to the situation Underwood also had the following to say:

“In my 42 years in law enforcement, I’ve never had to deal with a camel problem,” he said. “I’ve been told the camel is really gentle. I don’t know what got him fired up. We are going to continue to monitor the situation.”

No word yet if Underwood will face any disciplinary action for smoking a camel while on duty.

Source: The Sea Coast Echo

Joe Biden gives dating advice to young girls. Bill Clinton hit hardest.

Joe Biden gave each of the Senators’ young daughters and granddaughters some dating advice. In fact, he gave each of them the same dating advice. Over and over again.

Things got a little strange when Vice President Joe Biden posed for photos with the families of incoming Senators earlier this week.

He gave each of the Senators’ young daughters and granddaughters some dating advice. In fact, he gave each of them the same dating advice. Over and over again.

“No dates until you’re 30.”

It’s actually kind of sweet and a little funny. Except for one thing: When the girls are hot blondes who have, shall we say, reached the age of legal consent, Joe suddenly turns into Bill Clinton by putting an arm around them and pulling them in nice and close before the photos are taken.

Nice work, Joe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ri5WDZnBHwQ

Glenn Beck drove three would-be assassins over to their victims’ houses and said, “Go get ‘em”

You may not have known this, but that damn Glenn Beck is responsible for three assassination attempts this year. David Brock of the exceptionally liberal Media Matters said so, so it must be true.

Yes, certainly, the three would-be assassins were insane, but only because Glenn Beck drove them insane.

Almost as insane as David Brock.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWUftjhFZwM

H/T: Breitbart.tv

The last person in the world you would expect to support Chris Christie … just did

Good lord. Lawrence O’Donnell is starting to sound positively rational. Chris Christie’s press office issued a press release earlier this month containing this defense of the governor by the normally rabid MSNBC host.

Good lord. Lawrence O’Donnell is starting to sound positively rational. Chris Christie’s press office issued a press release earlier this month containing this defense of the governor by the normally rabid MSNBC host.

lawrence-odonnell-msnbc-2
Look for Lawrence O'Donnell to be named Worst Person In The World by Keith Olbermann

If we’re not mistaken we believe we just saw a pig fly past our window.

O’Donnell: Meanwhile another New Jersey politician has pretty much dodged any criticism, Newark Mayor Cory Booker. Here he is shoveling snow a few years ago. According to this official twitter feed during this most recent storm he delivered diapers to someone who couldn’t get out to do shopping and dug out another person’s car. All valiant and thoughtful and considerate things to do but you don’t need a mayor to do those things. All mayors and governors can really do during a blizzard is pretend to be helpful. They know nothing more about snow removal than you or I do. And if you vote for them on the basis of what they pretend to know about snow removal, then you have been played for a fool. Cities and states above the Mason Dixon Line have professionals on their payrolls who think about snow removal all the time. They think about it in August. They look forward to it. They know what to do when it happens. They don’t panic when snow falls. They just go do their jobs, which is why as Governor Christie correctly noted 95% of all the state roads were cleared, absolutely cleared, by Tuesday morning, which is exactly how long it would have taken if Chris Christie was in New Jersey posing for phony photo ops on snowplows like some of his predecessors have done. So, tonight’s rewrite is not for Government [sic] Chris Christie who kept his promise to his family at absolutely no cost to his state. It’s for the people attacking him for not doing any of the ineffectual phony stunts that they seem so impressed by when other politicians summon the media to watch them shoveling snow.

Did you see the poll that showed Chris Christie as the only Republican who can beat Obama in 2012? As one wag said, “Christie says he’s not running, but all politicians say they’re not running until they see a poll that shows them winning.”

Let’s see how quickly O’Donnell turns on the New Jersey governor when he announces that he’s a candidate.

We could all use a good laugh after 2010, so let’s start 2011 off with a joke

A young Arab boy asks his father, “What is that strange hat you are wearing?” “Why, this is a chechia,” the father said, “and it protects my head from the desert sun.” “And…

A young Arab boy asks his father, “What is that strange hat you are wearing?”

“Why, this is a chechia,” the father said, “and it protects my head from the desert sun.”

“And what is this robe you are wearing?” asked the young man.

arab-man-boy

“It’s a djbellah,” the father replied, “and it protects my body from the desert heat.”

The son asked, “And what about those strange shoes on your feet?”

“These are babouches,” the father answered, “and they keep my feet from burning in the scorching desert sands.”

“Tell me,” said the boy.

“Yes, my son?”

“Why is it we’re living in Detroit and you’re still wearing all this shit?”

I HATE THE MEDIA ™
Verified by MonsterInsights