Bill Clinton finally defines sex: It’s when you pay for it

We used to think Bill Clinton was shameless. Now we’re beginning to think he’s just clueless. The former President just signed his name to a Democrat fundraising letter in which he calls Republican Louisiana Senator David Vitter an “admitted sinner.”

bill clinton bible
Hypocrites 3:16 says, "Thou shalt not lie with women who chargeth when thou can getteth an intern for free."

We used to think Bill Clinton was shameless. Now we’re beginning to think he’s just clueless.

The former President just signed his name to a Democrat fundraising letter in which he calls Republican Louisiana Senator David Vitter an “admitted sinner.”

The NY Post reports the hypocritical hilarity:

Former President Clinton has sent out a fundraising letter on behalf of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee under his own name warning that Republicans are trying to “derail’ President Obama’s agenda.

Not much unexpected there.

But along with the letter, Clinton has included a flyer from the DSCC that’s bound to raise eyebrows.

“DSCC funds go towards efforts to unseat far-right Republican senators like admitted sinner David Vitter…” the flyer says, referring to the Louisiana senator who admitted patronizing a prostitution service when he was in the House.

Vitter has been a Clinton foe for a long time, calling on President Clinton to step down in 1998 because of his affair with Monica Lewinsky.

So what makes Vitter a sinner in the eyes of serial womanizer Bill Clinton?

Is it the fact that Vitter paid for sex, but Clinton got it for free? Or that Vitter “admitted” it, but Clinton didn’t?

Source: New York Post

This will rub a lot of people the wrong way: Millions of stimulus dollars going to massage schools

Maybe it’s a good idea to give all our tax dollars to massage schools. Because at the rate we’re going, we’re all going to need a nice, relaxing massage.

Maybe it’s a good idea to give all our tax dollars to massage schools. Because at the rate we’re going, we’re all going to need a nice, relaxing massage.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution has the deep tissue details:

Massage and beauty schools, online universities and other for-profit colleges in Georgia and across the nation are cashing in on federal stimulus spending, collecting $2.2 billion in tuition grants for low-income students, public records show.

That represents nearly a quarter of the stimulus money spent on these grants to date.

In Georgia alone, millions of dollars are going to massage schools and beauty schools. Lord only knows how much is being spread around the rest of the country.

Because of how the government is tracking the stimulus spending, it’s impossible to break it down precisely by state. But the records show profit-making schools that have campuses or corporate headquarters in Georgia have received more than $550 million of these stimulus funds.

Among them are University of Phoenix, American InterContinental University, Royal Beauty Careers and Atlanta School of Massage. Beauty and massage schools with ties to Georgia have received $3.3 million through the stimulus program alone.

There may be stimulus involved, but this will not be a happy ending massage.

Source: Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Is anyone really afraid this guy is going to kick his ass? Seriously.

Throws like a girl. Wears mom pants. Looks like a geek on a bike. Shows subservience to every foreign leader. Puts up curtains while working on a Habitat for Humanity house. Can’t bowl. Strikes effeminate poses. Drinks his beer like he’s at a tea party. Eats hotdogs with a little too much gusto (if you know what we mean). Gives man hugs a little too freely.

effeminate-obama-curtains

“I was down there a month ago,” the Hard Ass in Chief said, “before most of these talkin’ heads were even paying attention to the Gulf. A month ago I was meetin’ with fishermen down there, standin’ in the rain talkin’ about what a potential crisis this could be, and I don’t sit around just talkin’ to experts because this is a college seminar. We talk to these folks because they potentially have the best answers, so I know whose ass to kick.”

This calls for a quick review: Throws like a girl. Wears mom pants. Looks like a geek on a bike. Shows subservience to every foreign leader. Puts up curtains while working on a Habitat for Humanity house. Can’t bowl. Strikes effeminate poses. Drinks his beer like he’s at a tea party. Eats hotdogs with a little too much gusto (if you know what we mean). Gives man hugs a little too freely.

Yeah, right, this guy’s looking for ass to kick. Maybe he’ll bring Larry Craig along as his wingman.

Continue reading “Is anyone really afraid this guy is going to kick his ass? Seriously.”

Laura Bush laughs at Obama, says every little problem around the house is also “Bush’s fault”

Laura Bush appeared on Mike Huckabee’s program and laughed at Obama’s reflex action to say everything is “Bush’s fault.”

Laura Bush appeared on Mike Huckabee’s program and laughed at Obama’s reflex action to say everything is “Bush’s fault.”

It’s become such a joke around the Bush house, she said, that she now jokes that every little problem around the house is “Bush’s fault.”

Garbage disposal plugged? Bush’s fault.

Front door left unlocked? Bush’s fault.

Iran gets nuclear weapons and threatens to destroy Israel and the Great Satan? Bush’s fault.

How long has it been since George and Laura Bush left the White House? Seems like ten or twenty years, doesn’t it?

Bush drugs children in audience prior to Obama speech

Must have been Bush’s fault. Everything is Bush’s fault. That’s the only way to explain a member of the Obama Youth falling asleep while Dear Leader was giving yet another of his riveting speeches.

Must have been Bush’s fault. Everything is Bush’s fault. That’s the only way to explain a member of the Obama Youth falling asleep while Dear Leader was giving yet another of his riveting speeches.

Another anti-Obama billboard. This one’s in Arizona

Anti-Obama billboards are spreading even faster than the White House can spread bullshit. And they’re all being paid for by individuals who dig deep into their own pockets to express their opinions.

arizona anti obama billboard

Anti-Obama billboards are spreading even faster than the White House can spread bullshit. And they’re all being paid for by individuals who dig deep into their own pockets to express their opinions.

CNS News has the details on the latest one:

Thanks to an advertiser who wishes to remain anonymous, cars and trucks on Arizona Highway 260 in East Central Arizona are driving by a billboard advertisement that recently went up, bearing President Obama’s face on what appears to be a mock U.S. $100,000,000,000,000 (One-Hundred Trillion Dollar) bill.

The billboard’s caption: “But Who Will Pay the Piper?”

Chuck Perrine of Jones Outdoor advertising in Tucson, Ariz., confirmed to CNSNews.com that his company created the 10 ft- by-40 ft. billboard, which he said “went up within the last month.”

You can see the billboard for yourself by driving to Linden, Arizona, a wide spot in the road about 170 miles northeast of Phoenix.

We suspect that this billboard might be the only reason you’d want to visit Linden.

Source: CNSnews.com

If election lasts more than four years, consult your Doctor of Democracy

Since we’re borrowing the cartoon from RedState.com, we might as well borrow the Doctor of Democracy line from Rush Limbaugh. Thanks to both.

hydrogen-barackside

Since we’re borrowing the cartoon from RedState.com, we might as well borrow the Doctor of Democracy line from Rush Limbaugh. Thanks to both.

Obama goes gangsta, threatens to break out a can o’ whup ass

Now hold on us a gol’ danged minute. We thought this President was cool, calm and collected. We thought he was a Harvard-educated intellectual, the smartest man who’s ever occupied the Oval Office. We thought he was going to resolve conflict by extending his hand in peace and listening to his adversaries.

Now hold on just a gol’ danged minute. We thought this President was cool, calm and collected. We thought he was a Harvard-educated intellectual, the smartest man who’s ever occupied the Oval Office. We thought he was going to resolve conflict by extending his hand in peace and listening to his adversaries.

Nah, that was last week before the polls started to slip. Now that he’s catching flak for his dazed and confused response to the Gusher in the Gulf, he’s turned tough guy. Kind of like that episode of Star Trek where Kirk turned gangster to deal with a planet run by gangsters.

“I was down there a month ago,” the Hard Ass in Chief said, “before most of these talkin’ heads were even paying attention to the gulf. A month ago I was meetin’ with fishermen down there, standin’ in the rain talking about what a potential crisis this could be. and I don’t sit around just talkin’ to experts because this is a college seminar. We talk to these folks because they potentially have the best answers, so I know whose ass to kick.”

An ass kickin’?

There’s nothing sadder than a Democrat tryin’ to sound like one of those average Americans. Remember John Kerry, that other noted intellectual, sayin’, “Can I get me a huntin’ license here?”

Don’t look now, Mr. President, but the polls are slippin’ again. And phony tough guy talk won’t solve your problem as easily as it solved Captain Kirk’s.

Here’s something you don’t see every day of the week: Obama singing, “Hey, Jude.”

Here’s something you don’t see every day of the week. Obama singing, “Hey, Jude.”

“Daddy, did you plug the hole yet?”

“Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Nah, nah, nah, nah.”

Wish we could have been there back in the day. You know, back when Obama was out in the streets, keepin’ it real, impressin’ all the other brothers with his ability to sing Beatles’ songs.

Now US Defense Secretary bows to Azerbaijan’s Minister of Defense

What’s with the Obama administration bowing to foreign leaders? Now we have Defense Secretary Robert Gates bowing to Azerbaijan’s Minister of Defense General-Colonel Safar Abiyev.

What’s with the Obama administration bowing to foreign leaders? Now we have Defense Secretary Robert Gates bowing to Azerbaijan’s Minister of Defense General-Colonel Safar Abiyev.

At least we think it’s the Azerbaijanian Minister of Defense. Based on the uniform, it may well be the doorman at the Waldorf-Astoria.

H/T: Weasel Zippers

Mickey Kaus lists three bribes Obama can offer to make him drop out against Barbara Boxer

Mickey Kaus, seeming a bit insulted that Obama hasn’t yet offered him a Joe Sestak-like bribe, he listed the three jobs with which the President could induce him to drop out of the race.

mickey-kaus-three-bribes
Mickey Kaus is a lot funnier than Barbara Boxer. But then, so is herpes.

Damn, we love Mickey Kaus, the guy who’s running against Barbara Boxer in California’s Democrat primary on Tuesday.

First, he proudly announced that he was most qualified for Boxer’s job because he hadn’t been endorsed by the L.A. Times. Then he ran one of the cleverest political commercials we’ve ever seen.

Now, seeming a bit insulted that Obama hasn’t yet offered him a Joe Sestak-like bribe, he listed the three jobs with which the President could induce him to drop out of the race.

The Los Angeles Times reveals what they are:

  • Head of the Immigration and Customs Enforcement to push for an actual physical fence on the Mexico border to stop illegal immigrants and to end the “anointed incumbent…Boxer’s obsessive talk of amnesty, sorry, ‘a path to citizenship'” that actually acts as a powerful lure for even more illegal immigrants.
  • Second, Kaus kindly offers, Obama could put him on the National Labor Relations Board so he could thwart “Big Labor’s attempt to add to their dwindling memberships by avoiding secret ballots in union organizing drives.”
  • Finally, Kaus offered to accept an administration job offer to the Department of Education to write “a scathing report” on California teachers’ unions and their deleterious impact on the state.

Unfortunately, the odds of California Democrats voting for a guy who makes this much sense are slim and who are you kidding?

Source: Los Angeles Times

Ed Schultz reports the truth, almost chokes on it

Poor Ed Schultz. He’s dumbfounded, astounded, horrified that the liberal media hasn’t been able to stir up more opposition to the Arizona illegal immigration law. Guest John Feehery is forced to slap Schultz’ face and try to bring him back to reality.

Every poll shows that an overwhelming majority of the American people approve of Arizona’s new illegal alien law. And a new Qunnipiac University poll found 48% of registered voters nationwide want similar laws passed in their states.

Poor Ed Schultz. He’s dumbfounded, astounded, horrified that the liberal media hasn’t been able to stir up more opposition to the law. Guest John Feehery is forced to slap Schultz’ face and try to bring him back to reality.

Schultz: The numbers are out right now. It’s pretty amazing, as much discussion and negativity that has been out there, the majority of Americans think the immigration law that’s passed in Arizona is good…and also a majority of Americans want to see their states pass something similar.

Feehery: Hey Ed, this is a surprise to nobody except maybe you, and maybe the administration.

The political class (and its MSNBC apologists) are out of step with the American people. Of course, Schultz would say it’s not just out of step, but out of goose step.

‘Cause, you know, we’re all Nazis. Or something.

Obama could learn a few things from Republican women. Including how to throw a baseball.

Jane Norton, Colorado’s Republican Lieutenant Governor and candidate for the U.S. Senate, could teach President Obama a few things about how to throw a baseball.

Jane Norton, Colorado’s Republican Lieutenant Governor and candidate for the U.S. Senate, tossed out the ceremonial first pitch of the National Junior College World Series – an 81 mile an hour heater right down the middle of the plate. In contrast, President Obama’s opening day pitches have always looked like something daughter Sasha might throw.

But in Obama’s defense, they probably didn’t play baseball in Kenya or Indonesia or wherever he grew up.

Don’t just play the race card, give one.

Far be it from us to make generalizations, but based on the latest actions of the NAACP, one can only conclude that black skin is also very thin skin. The organization has forced Hallmark to pull of those talking graduation cards. They claimed it was racist.

Far be it from us to make generalizations, but based on the latest actions of the NAACP, one can only conclude that black skin is also very thin skin.

The organization has forced Hallmark to pull of those talking graduation cards. They claimed it was raaaaacist.

Hallmark was baffled by the complaint. They said the card’s theme was the solar system and was meant to emphasize the graduates’s ability to take on the universe, even something as powerful as black holes.

“The intent here is to say that this graduate is not afraid of anything,” explained Hallmark spokesman Steve Doyal.

“And you black holes, you are so ominous,” the speaking card said. “Watch your back.”

“That was very demeaning to African American women,” intoned Leon Jenkins, a spokesman for the Los Angeles NAACP. “When it made reference to African American women as whores and at the end, it says ‘watch your back,’”.

“You hear the ‘r’ in there. ‘Whores,’ not, ‘holes.’ The ‘r’ is in there,” said Minnie Hatley, another Los Angeles NAACP rep.

“It sounds like a group of children laughing and joking about blackness, again,” said yet another paranoid NAACP member.

Naturally, Hallmark gave in and is pulling the card from all its stores.

Is it just us or is this vaguely reminiscent of the incident a few years ago when a school official got in trouble for using the world niggardly and the incident more recently when black groups complained that the day after <s>Christmas</s> Thanksgiving was referred to as Black Friday.

Lunacy. Absolute lunacy.

Source: ABC

MSNBC wants to know what you think of Arizona’s anti-illegal alien law

The left wing lunatics at MSNBC.com are running a poll, but the results are not what they expected. Not even close. “Do you support Arizona’s tough new law on illegal immigration?”

msnbc-poll-arizona-law

The left wing lunatics at MSNBC.com are running a poll, but the results are not what they expected. Not even close.

Do you support Arizona’s tough new law on illegal immigration?

In July, Arizona will begin enforcing a new law that requires law enforcement officers to check someone’s immigration status if they have reason to suspect that he or she is in the country illegally. Do you think this is a good idea?

At the time this story was written almost 600,000 votes have already been cast and the tally was “Yes” 95.6%, “No” 4.4%

You can participate in the poll by clicking on this link.

Let’s see if we can give Keith Olbermann a stroke by pushing “Yes” all the way up to 99% of the vote.

Source: MSNBC.com

Déjà vu all over again: Former Congresswoman/lunatic Cynthia McKinney aboard Gaza “Peace Flotilla”

We weren’t surprised to find out that former Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney was a participant in the latest Gaza “Peace Flotilla.” We were just surprised that the left wing lunatic took more than a week to spout off about it.

We weren’t surprised to find out that former Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney was a participant in the latest Gaza “Peace Flotilla.” We were just surprised that the left wing lunatic took more than a week to spout off about it.

Continue reading “Déjà vu all over again: Former Congresswoman/lunatic Cynthia McKinney aboard Gaza “Peace Flotilla””

“Conservative” blogger gazes longingly at Al Gore, announces that the former Veep has a huge penis

Andrew Sullivan, once a conservative blogger, but now an attention-seeking lunatic, appeared on Bill Maher’s HBO show Friday night. He had too much information about Al Gore. “It is well known in Washington,” Sullivan cooed, “that he is the most hung politician around.”

Andrew Sullivan, once a conservative blogger, but now an attention-seeking lunatic, appeared on Bill Maher’s HBO show Friday night. He had too much information about
Al Gore.

“It is well known in Washington,” Sullivan cooed, “that he is the most hung politician around.”

We’re not quite sure how to break this to you, Andrew, but you misinterpreted the rumors.

They said he is a big dick, not he has a big dick.

Cut public employee wages to level of private sector wages, save $340 billion. Like that.

Dagen McDowell tells Fox News that we could cut $340 billion off the deficit simply by cutting public wages to the level of private sector wages.

Dagen McDowell tells Fox News that we could cut $340 billion off the deficit simply by cutting public wages to the level of private sector wages.

Don’t stop now, Dagen. How much more could we save if we cut government medical benefits and retirement programs back to private sector levels, too?

Linda Sanchez, meet Jamiel Shaw, white supremacist

Holding a pair of deuces in a race-card game to inflame the legal residents of the country, Rep. Linda Sanchez (D-CA) called Arizona’s new anti-illegal alien law the product of “white supremacist groups.”

jamiel-shaw-white-supremacist

Holding a pair of deuces in a race-card game to inflame the legal residents of the country, Rep. Linda Sanchez (D-CA) called Arizona’s new anti-illegal alien law the product of “white supremacist groups.”

linda-sanchez-arizona-law
Why do all Democrat women look like Chaz Bono? No offense intended, Chaz.

The San Gabriel Valley Tribune reports Sanchez’ ill-advised comment:

“There’s a concerted effort behind promoting these kinds of laws on a state-by-state basis by people who have ties to white supremacy groups,” said the lawmaker, who is of Mexican descent. “It’s been documented. It’s not mainstream politics.”

Based on that comment, would it be wrong of us if we demanded to see Linda Sanchez’ documents? The ones that tie the Arizona law to white supremacist groups, that is.

And while we’re in a demanding kind of mood, there’s one other thing we’d like to demand. Take a look in your own back yard, Linda, and speak to the family of Jamiel Shaw.

The innocent teen was killed in Los Angeles in 2008 by an illegal alien gang member who had been recently released from jail. Jamiel’s family supports the Arizona law.

And we think they might have some serious trouble joining a white supremacist group.

Source: San Gabriel Valley Tribune, ISupportJamielsLaw.com

John, Jerk, George and Ringo

At a recent event at the White House, everybody’s second favorite former Beatle took the opportunity to unload on America’s most recent former President.

At a recent event at the White House, everybody’s second favorite former Beatle took the opportunity to unload on America’s most recent former President.

According to Sir Paul McCartney, “After the last eight years, it’s great to have a president who knows what a library is.”

Continue reading “John, Jerk, George and Ringo”

Thanks to Obama’s economy, this poor, unfortunate young woman can’t afford a decent pair of jeans.

It always seems to be the young who suffers the most in bad economic times like these. And we can’t help but wonder why dirty old men should benefit from this innocent young girl’s misfortune?

Short jeans on girl

It always seems to be the young who suffer the most in bad economic times like these. And we can’t help but wonder why dirty old men should benefit from this innocent young girl’s misfortune?

It’s just so unfair.

Helen Thomas proves that she is an ugly, old anti-Semite

“Ugly” is indisputable. Ditto with “old.” Anti-Semitic has always been assumed. But now the angry old bat has finally slipped and put her anti-Semitism on display for the whole world to see.

“Ugly” is indisputable. Ditto with “old.” Anti-Semitic has always been assumed. But now the angry old bat has finally slipped and put her anti-Semitism on display for the whole world to see.

We eagerly await her official statement that she was misquoted when she said of the Israeli Jews, “Tell them they should go back to Poland and Germany.”

Of course, the response to this will surely be universal condemnation by the rest of the press corps and she will just as surely be stripped of her seat in the first row at future White House press briefings.

Oh, man, we crack ourselves up.

And the score at the end of seven innings,
Bull 1, Matador 0

A matador cheated death by millimetres when the beast he was tormenting rammed its horn straight through his chin and out through his mouth.

julio-aparicio-bullfighter-gored

Horrifying. Awful. Sickening. And as far as we’re concerned, the matador had it coming.

SkyNews.com has the story of the bull’s dramatic win:

A matador cheated death by millimetres when the beast he was tormenting rammed its horn straight through his chin and out through his mouth.

It only took a split second for Julio Aparicio to became the bull’s bloody victim at a Madrid bullring.

The animal had already been pierced with several banderillas and was close to being killed when he seized his chance of revenge.

Aparicio stumbled and the angry beast charged at him, prompting the crowd at the Las Ventas bullring to gasp in horror – expecting the bull to rip off the fighter’s jaw or even his head.

Remarkably, the beast stepped back and his horn slipped out of the matador’s face as swiftly as it had entered.

A few rambling disconected thoughts in conclusion:

Maybe it’s just us, but we always root for the bull in this barbaric sport.

Is it true that the bull gets to retire and life a life of luxury when he wins? We hope so.

And finally, the New York Post is known for great headlines, but this one should be sent directly to the newspaper hall of fame.

Souce: SkyNews.com

It’s not Obama’s fault we elected him

Just when we thought all of the Obama apologists had gone the way of the pet rock, here comes CNN.com and Gloria Berger telling us “We got the president we elected.”

obama-not-angry-enough
We got what we voted for when we elected a man with no leadership experience.

Just when we thought all of the Obama apologists had gone the way of the pet rock, here comes CNN.com and Gloria Berger telling us “We got the president we elected.”

In her undying support of The Most Misunderstood President In History, she tells us “He was elected because he is cool, calm and analytical. That’s what we wanted to see after George W. Bush, so we made him president. But now the disaster in the Gulf has made many of us want to see someone else — with plenty of anger, emotion and bravado. We want him to yell at BP. We want him to loudly tell us he’s whipping the cleanup effort into shape.”

Here we were thinking that Obama got elected because of all the phony promises he made and lies he told – transparency, no lobbyists in his administration, fiscal responsibility and a pony for everyone.

Then Borger writes what is possibly the biggest understatement in the history of journalism: “Maybe we want him to be George Bush with the bullhorn after 9/11. Only he isn’t.”

One can only imagine that the first version of Borger’s story said something like “Maybe we want someone who acts like he has a pair. Only he doesn’t.”

In a parting shot at us fickle voters, the article concludes, “True to form, we want it all. We want a leader who can feel our pain while rising above it. We say we don’t trust government, but we look to it for answers and cleanups. And we elected Barack Obama. Now we want to change him.”

We think Borger has misread the electorate. We don’t want to change President Obama, but we do want to change presidents.

Source: CNN.com

Al Gore suicide watch: Pacific islands aren’t disappearing under the waves

Climate scientists have expressed surprise at findings that many low-lying Pacific islands are growing, not sinking.

This is a video of Ian Fry, the Tuvalu delegate to the United Nations Climate Change Conference & Swap Meet in Copenhagen last December. He made an impassioned plea to save his beloved Tuvalu and other low-lying island nations.

Fry tearfully concluded that “The fate of my country rests in your hands.” (Translation: “Give us money before everyone figures out that this is a scam.”)

Too late, Ian. The latest research is a complete rebuff to Al Gore and his global warming acolytes:

Climate scientists have expressed surprise at findings that many low-lying Pacific islands are growing, not sinking.

Islands in Tuvalu, Kiribati and the Federated States of Micronesia are among those which have grown, largely due to coral debris, land reclamation and sediment.

The findings, published in the magazine New Scientist, were gathered by comparing changes to 27 Pacific islands over the last 20 to 60 years using historical aerial photos and satellite images.

Auckland University’s Associate Professor Paul Kench, a member of the team of scientists, says the results challenge the view that Pacific islands are sinking due to rising sea levels associated with climate change.

“Eighty per cent of the islands we’ve looked at have either remained about the same or, in fact, gotten larger,” he said.

Bad week for Al Gore. First he lost his wife. Then he lost another talking point. And we’re not sure which one he’ll miss more.

Source: ABC News Autralia

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