Krystal Ball is running for congress in Virginia as a Democrat Dildocrat

by editor on October 7, 2010

krystal ball

Someone with this candidate’s name should have been able to look into the future and say, “I see problems if I allow these photos to be taken.”

But, no, one might say that Krystal Ball’s crystal ball was broken.

Krystal is a Democrat running for Congress in Virginia’s overwhelmingly Republican first district. So odds are she didn’t have much of a shot at winning even before these photos leaked. Now she probably has zero chance.

Krystal’s problem? The leaked photos show her dressed as a sexy Santa performing fellatio on a dildo-nosed reindeer. Her defense is basically, “Hey, c’mon, those photos were taken right after I got out of college and that’s my husband wearing the dildo and leash.”

Unfortunately, Krystal, this is 2010 and the photos are what you call political career killers everywhere but San Francisco and Barney Frank’s district, where they’re called resume enhancements.

Too bad. Krystal’s almost cute enough to be a conservative.

Source: Black Velvet Bruce Li

{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }

fleeceme October 7, 2010 at 6:39 am

Controversial. What do you think? Thumb up 6 Thumb down 2

That’s her husband? I swear I thought that was another chick…just saying.

YT October 7, 2010 at 6:41 am

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 9 Thumb down 1

A democrat is a twink*? Color me shocked.
*http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=twink

Also, why the hell would I vote for anyone with A) a stupid ass name B) said name is mispelled? When parents name their children that way it broadcasts to the world they were high as hell for pretty much the entire pregnancy…or at least when they found out the sex. Or they weren’t high but just retarded.

Either way it lets everyone know what to expect out of their spawn. For example, running for public office with pictures of themselves blowing their d-bag husband’s strap-on nose.

DeanH October 7, 2010 at 8:53 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 1

Wait… wait… How do you spell Ball?

perlcat October 7, 2010 at 9:05 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

I did a quick search, and yes, Ball is (what passes for her) maiden name. I suppose that she didn’t wanna take or hyphenate her new hubby’s last name, Dariyanani, as it sounds a lot like “ninny”, and might put people onto the truth before election day.

It is very amusing that she calls these photos of her ‘sexist’ — WTF does she think miming giving a BJ to her hubby in public is? She really has to be Mrs. personality if she can’t hang onto a husband with frequent BJ’s.

You know, I just can’t recall any decent woman ever doing that, let alone letting pictures be made of it, let alone let people keep the pictures — most women I know claim edit rights over any pic of themselves, and are not shy about deleting any pics that don’t show her at her best.

This Ball woman truly is an idiot. If this pic doesn’t clue a person in, consider her tweet about visiting the tea party:

“Just leaving 99th District Tea Party where I told them I support the public option, gay marriage, and the stimulus. Didn’t go over so well.”

Priceless. Just like her pump & dump stock transactions.

http://therealkrystalball.com/

for some real entertaining reading about someone, the least of whose problems is giving reindeer BJ’s.

You gotta wonder what the real explanation of where her stock comes from — couch cushions, maybe?

USN-RETIRED October 7, 2010 at 6:25 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

Last name? Maybe she was afraid people would mistake her for Rosanne Rosanadana. Uh….. never mind.

Guggenheim October 7, 2010 at 9:35 am

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 8 Thumb down 0

No matter her name or how you spell it, the photo above reveals that she sucks.

Bat doo-doo October 7, 2010 at 6:44 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

Do the Democrats face a Kristallnacht?

USN-RETIRED October 7, 2010 at 6:27 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

That would surely be a shattering experience.

Maria October 7, 2010 at 6:45 am

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 9 Thumb down 1

She may be “almost cute enough” to be Conservative, but she’s very much classless enough to be a Dimocrat.

KimmyQueen October 8, 2010 at 9:22 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

Yes Conservative women tend to have the WHOLE package that many liberal women do not have.

perlcat October 8, 2010 at 11:16 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

Yup, beauty AND brains, that’s our KQ!!

KimmyQueen October 9, 2010 at 5:59 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

*blushing* :-)

michael October 7, 2010 at 6:54 am

Rated Awesome! What do you think? Thumb up 8 Thumb down 1

she’s perfect for congress! She’ll fit right in. Honestly these photos are tame and shouldn’t hurt her chances. Give her the opportunity to fail miserably like all liberals.

perlcat October 7, 2010 at 7:57 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 1

Look for her soon on the latest “morons gone wild” offering. (Also known as the US House of Representatives)

redabogado October 7, 2010 at 8:09 am

Controversial. What do you think? Thumb up 7 Thumb down 1

But is she a witch?

USN-RETIRED October 7, 2010 at 6:32 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

She turned me into a newt.

Throw her into the water!!

perlcat October 7, 2010 at 7:36 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

Build a bridge out of her!

redabogado October 7, 2010 at 8:38 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

So who are you so wise in the way of witches?

USN-RETIRED October 8, 2010 at 1:55 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

You mean you’re one of the few that didn’t see Monty Python’s “Holy Grail”?

Perlcat and I are making references to some of the dialogue in that movie.

perlcat October 8, 2010 at 2:34 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

I just didn’t want to reply, so people would think I was taking Arthur’s part.

redabogado October 8, 2010 at 2:49 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

Come on squid! That line is directly out of the movie.

USN-RETIRED October 8, 2010 at 2:57 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

Hey, I can’t improve on perfection.

perlcat October 8, 2010 at 5:47 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

Any movie financed by Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd and featuring Pythons is going to be full of win.

RKae October 8, 2010 at 6:51 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

Read Michael Palin’s recently published diaries. It’s a hoot! The band members from Zep & Floyd went to the premiere of the movie and left pale-faced in horror, thinking, “Good God! What did we just back? That was ridiculous! It’s money down the toilet!”

perlcat October 8, 2010 at 11:17 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

Did you get better?

USN-RETIRED October 8, 2010 at 1:56 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

I got better, but I still have a strange attraction to moths and flies. ;-)

drb October 10, 2010 at 7:22 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

So does Obama!

trinity October 7, 2010 at 8:29 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

I think she’ll fit in quite nicely with the Dems already in office.

matthew s harrison October 7, 2010 at 8:51 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 1

funny how they are going after O’Donnell for her ‘witchcraft’ and anti-masturbation campaign, but the lamestream media have nothing to say about this stuff! Hilarious.
So that 16 year old kid with the dick-nose is her husband? That begs the question-how young was she when he got her knocked up?

I love the left!

perlcat October 7, 2010 at 9:12 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 1

Nah, that is her first ex husband. She couldn’t keep him around with BJ’s. Maybe, like with the caek, the BJ’s were a lie.

DeanH October 7, 2010 at 9:00 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

I checked out some of her more serious photos. I gotta say, I’m pretty sure I can tell she has a bundle of knotted serpents in that cranium. She cannot hide that evil intent from anyone with a sense of discernment, even a little bit of one.

perlcat October 7, 2010 at 9:11 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

I don’t think it is serpents — I think it is excrement in her head.

She is a nasty piece of work, though.

cdmsr November 12, 2010 at 8:21 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

You mistook a picture of Michelle Bachman. Talk about snakes behind the eyes. Sort of attractive until you see her face on and then, ugh, scary.

Philanthropist October 7, 2010 at 10:26 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

A very friendly girl apparently.

Administrator October 7, 2010 at 10:42 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0

Here she is working a microphone too.

krystal ball microphone

perlcat October 7, 2010 at 11:00 am

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 1

What can I say, the girl has skilz. Needs to open her mouth more, though.

Paden October 7, 2010 at 12:28 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 2

So her husband wares a nose that looks like a penis to christmans party….And we are sexist for asking?

Is sex and sexuality all that matters to these libs, they all act like dicks..

Jim Stewart October 7, 2010 at 12:43 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

Really? Krystal Ball? That would be a great name for a porn star. There was a radio host in Dallas named Big Dick Hunter and I couldn’t stop laughing every time I heard his name.

DeanH October 7, 2010 at 12:48 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

Or at least an ecdysiasts moniker. Must have been by now.

Ken October 7, 2010 at 3:39 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 2

Well, for a Democrat at least she dosen’t bark.

Paden October 7, 2010 at 7:07 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

I’m not sure why but something inside me just wants to slap that guy silly.
Maybe because of the dog chain and being led around like a DUMB-BELL or maybe its because he’s just a dickhead.

perlcat October 7, 2010 at 7:39 pm

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

Although he *does* have a very punchable face…

You have to admit he was getting blown regular. What guy wouldn’t wander around with a stupid look on his face?