President Obama earned himself a Native American name last week. It’s a doozy.
DailyCaller.com has news of the new Native American nomenclature:
President Obama said Thursday that the United States will sign a United Nations non-binding declaration on the rights of indigenous peoples, a move that advocates called another step in improving Washington’s relationship with Native Americans.
Obama announced the decision during the second White House Tribal Conference, where he said he is “working hard to live up to” the name that was given to him by the Crow Nation: “One Who Helps People Throughout the Land.”
That’s all well and good, but it seems to us that if the Crow Nation had given a little more thought to President Obama’s personality and actual accomplishments, they could have come up with some other names that are more appropriate for the man. Such as:
- Chief Laughing Pork
- Chief Born In Three Places
- Chief Bow to Other Chiefs
- Chief Shitting Bull
- Chief Lost His House
- Chief Hide-behind-Bush
- Chief Talk With Machine
- Chief Deer in Headlights
- Chief Blabbering Stream
- Chief Running Mouth
- Chief Who Spend Wampum Like Drunken Kardashian Sister
- Chief One Term
- Chief Who Love Own Reflection In Pool
- Chief Spread Other People’s Wampum
- Chief Never Stop Running
- Chief Peacemaker Who Start Class Warfare
- Chief Double Talker (shortened from the literal translation: “Chief Who Talk Out of Both Sides of Mouth”)
- Chief Who Speaks With Forked Teleprompter
- Chief Who Chase Little White Ball While World Burn
- Chief He Who Smoke Peace Pipe While Enemy Sharpen Tomahawk
Don’t thank us, Crow Nation. We’re here for our red brothers.
Source: DailyCaller.com