On July 9, Joe Biden traveled to Ohio to tell the yokels how effective the “stimulus” had been. “Roads plus teachers plus cops plus jobs equals a community,” he said, “and that equals paychecks and prosperity.” Eight days later, it was announced that the state’s unemployment rate had increased from 10.8% to 11.1%.
"I swear the economy's getting better. Much better. Really better. Super better."
Hope like hell Joe Biden doesn’t come to your town to tell you how effective the “stimulus” has been.
On July 9, Joe Biden traveled to Ohio to tell the yokels how effective the “stimulus” had been. “Roads plus teachers plus cops plus jobs equals a community,” he said, “and that equals paychecks and prosperity.” Eight days later, it was announced that the state’s unemployment rate had increased from 10.8% to 11.1%.
On July 16, Biden visited Richmond, Virginia to deliver the same message of hope and change. The next day, the Bureau of Labor Statistics revealed that Virginia shed 22,800 in June and that the state’s unemployment rate had jumped to 7.2%.
In the words of Aussie blogger Andrew Bolt, “It’s like the Gore Effect, only for unemployment.”
Dana Carvey has never been funnier than he was on last Wednesday’s Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien.
Dana Carvey has never been funnier than he was on a couple Wednesday night’s ago’s Tonight Show.
You can’t help but laugh as he does rapid-fire, dead-on, hysterically-funny impressions of everyone and their brother. Johnny Carson. Jay Leno. Sonia Sotomayor. Conan O’Brien. Dos Equis. Arnold Schwarzenegger. al Qaeda. Obama. The economy. George Bush. Bruno. Al Franken. Al Gore.
Conan O’Brien gets out of the way and let’s Carvey go.
Every time we hear someone huckster bemoan the big bucks Exxon-Mobil pays to fund studies that debunk global warming, we wonder how much the government is spending to “bunk” the theory.
Every time we hear some huckster bemoan the big bucks Exxon-Mobil pays to fund studies that debunk global warming, we wonder how much the government is spending to “bunk” the theory.
Finally, thanks to Aussie blogger Joanne Nova, all the numbers have been compiled in one handy, dandy report. It clearly demonstrates that Exxon’s dollars pale in comparison to what’s being spent by the American government’s global warming research machine.
Be prepared to be pissed off.
The US government has provided over $79 billion since 1989 on policies related to climate change, including science and technology research, foreign aid, and tax breaks.
Despite the billions: “audits” of the science are left to unpaid volunteers…
Carbon trading worldwide reached $126 billion in 2008. Banks are calling for more carbon-trading. And experts are predicting the carbon market will reach $2 – $10 trillion making carbon the largest single commodity traded.
Meanwhile in a distracting sideshow, Exxon-Mobil Corp is repeatedly attacked for paying a grand total of $23 million to skeptics—less than a thousandth of what the US government has put in, and less than one five-thousandth of the value of carbon trading in just the single year of 2008.
These charts clearly demonstrate an inverse relationship between money spent on global warming research and temperature. The more we spend, the lower temperatures go.
Liberals, of course, will undoubtedly consider this validation that their philosophy works.
Global Warming Update: Week 8 of hurricane season 2009: Still no hurricanes, Al Gore still full of crap
Same ol’, same ol’. No tropical depressions, no tropical storms, no hurricanes.
In the record-setting year of 2005, we had already had seven storms by this date. In the remarkably quiet year of 2006, we’d had two. In the average year of 2007, we’d had two. And in the average year of 2008, we’d had four.
The more bored you get with this repetitive report, the more panic stricken Al Gore gets.
Yawn. Wake us up when there’s a hurricane in 2009.
NBC News anchor Brian Williams apparently had a longtime unrequited man crush on former CBS News anchor Walter Cronkite.
Brian Williams remembering Walter Cronkite's sweet, warm breath
If you think South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s love letters to his Argentine mistress were over the top, you ain’t heard nothin’ yet.
NBC News anchor Brian Williams apparently had a longtime unrequited man crush on former CBS News anchor Walter Cronkite.
Williams begins this tale of the forbidden love between anchors for two competing networks by taking us back to his childhood home in upstate New York, where Mom Williams refused to serve up a hearty meal of Tater Tots and Tang until Cronkite had uttered the words, “And that’s the way it is….”
“And I announced my intention to my family, apparently, at the age of 8, that he was the man I wanted to be. And this was the profession I wanted,” Williams recalled wistfully. “And I have lived such a charmed life that I got the chance to explain that to Walter and tell him that and make it clear. And just was able to breathe the air he exhaled and know him a little bit, as friends.”
Excuse us for interrupting this touching moment, but we can’t help but picture the strange scene that would have played out between young Brian and the venerable Cronkite:
Walter: Hello, kid.
Brian: You had me when you said hello, Mr. Cronkite.
Walter: Can somebody get this kid out of the studio?
Brian: But I love you, Mr. Cronkite.
Walter: Anybody know who this kid is?
Brian: I’m you. And you’re everything I ever want to be.
Walter: Seriously. Get this little freak out of the studio.
Brian: I want to breath the air you exhale.
Walter: So that’s the way it is.
Brian: No, Mr. Cronkite. That’s the way it was. Today, July 22, 1967.
Jon Stewart voted America’s most trusted newscaster. For god’s sake, man, even Jon Stewart wouldn’t call himself a “newscaster.” He’s a comedian, damn it.
America's most trusted newscaster isn't a newscaster
Time Magazine conducted a poll. “Now that Walter Cronkite has passed away,” they asked, “who is America’s most trusted newscaster?” The results will undoubtedly depress the broadcast networks’ anchors:
7% Katie Couric
19% Charlie Gibson
29% Brian Williams
44% Jon Stewart
For god’s sake, man, even Jon Stewart wouldn’t call himself a “newscaster.” He’s a comedian, damn it. Based on that, the poll is flawed for not including Carrot Top and Andy Dick.
Katie Couric must have been suicidal after learning that 6 times as many Americans trust a comedian with the news than trust her.
Time provides a dandy little map across which you can scroll your cursor to see state-by-state results of the poll.
Hang in there, Katie. You got 65% of the vote in Iowa.
Scientists say the huge black blob lying off the coast of Alaska has now been identified as common algae. Political scientists say the huge black blob lying in the Caribbean is an even lower form of life, Democrat Congressman Charles Rangel.
The Barack Obama love that once burned with such red hot passion has cooled and the poll numbers are now plunging down, down, down. Presidential Approval Index rating of -11.
Ahhhh, the love affair is over. The love that once burned with such red hot passion has cooled and the poll numbers are now plunging down, down, down. Johnny Cash explains the results of the latest Rasmussen poll:
Love is a burning thing
And it makes a fiery ring,
Bound by wild desire,
I fell into a ring of fire
I fell into a burning ring of fire,
I went down, down, down
And the flames went higher,
And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire,
The ring of fire
And now here’s how Rasmussen explains what has happened to The Greatest President In History in more traditional terms:
The Rasmussen Reports daily Presidential Tracking Poll for Sunday shows that only 29% of the nation’s voters now Strongly Approve of the way that Barack Obama is performing his role as President. Forty percent (40%) Strongly Disapprove giving Obama a Presidential Approval Index rating of -11. That’s the first time his ratings have reached double digits in negative territory
.
These updates are based upon nightly telephone interviews and reported on a three-day rolling average basis. Today is the first update based entirely upon interviews conducted after the President’s prime time televised press conference. The number who Strongly Approve of the President has remained unchanged since the press conference but the number who Strongly Disapprove has gone up by five percentage points (from 35% on Wednesday morning to 40% today).
The Presidential Approval Index is calculated by subtracting the number who Strongly Disapprove from the number who Strongly Approve.
He’s going down, down, down and the flames go higher.
During Watergate, the question was, “What did the President know and when did he know it” During GatesGate, the question is, “What didn’t the President know and when didn’t he know it?”
During Watergate, the question was, “What did the President know and when did he know it” During GatesGate, the question is, “What didn’t the President know and when didn’t he know it?”
The Rasmussen Reports daily Presidential Tracking Poll for Saturday shows that 30% of the nation’s voters now Strongly Approve of the way that Barack Obama is performing his role as President. Thirty-nine percent (39%) Strongly Disapprove giving Obama a Presidential Approval Index rating of -9.
The evil right wing Rasmussen poll continues to lie by saying that disenchantment with The Greatest President In History is growing. What’s that? Rasmussen was the most accurate poll in the last presidential election? More lies from lying, scum-sucking conservatives.
The Rasmussen Reports daily Presidential Tracking Poll for Saturday shows that 30% of the nation’s voters now Strongly Approve of the way that Barack Obama is performing his role as President. Thirty-nine percent (39%) Strongly Disapprove giving Obama a Presidential Approval Index rating of -9.
The number who Strongly Disapprove of the President has increased slightly following the prime time press conference on Wednesday night. That figure—39%–is now at the highest level yet recorded. As a result, the overall Approval Index has fallen to the lowest level yet recorded for this President.
This guy is going down faster than Perez Hilton in a bath house.
Charges by Cambridge Police for resisting arrest against Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates have been dropped, but he still may need to have a giant, malignant chip on his shoulder removed.
The chip on Professor Henry Louis Gates' shoulder was booked separately
Charges for resisting arrest against Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates have been dropped, but he still may need to have a giant, malignant chip on his shoulder removed.
When Gates was asked for identification during an investigation of a possible break-in, he responded, “Why? Because I’m a black man in America?”
Which, of course, is the typical reaction from anyone who has had an encounter with the police. (For example, if stopped for a malfunctioning headlight on your car, simply respond to the officer’s request for your drivers license by saying, “Why? Because I’m a black man in America?” It’s guaranteed to work like a charm.)
Barack Obama, who received enough support from whites to be elected President of the United States, did take time to pronounce–without knowing the facts–that the Cambridge police, “acted stupidly.” You know, kind of like acting without first knowing the facts.
According to Obama, the only time police don’t act stupidly are when they are shot in the line of duty. In that case, police are brave and serve as a reminder why guns must be banned.
Obama added that the massive chip on Gates’ shoulder was a pre-existing condition. Under the terms of his government-subsidized health plan, an operation to remove the chip would be covered.
However, the wait for the operation would make the 350 years of oppression seem short.
The democrats introduced a bill called the “Restore Our American Mustangs Act” (H.R.1018) that would create a brand spankin’ new $700 million entitlement program for wild horses.
It appears that the Democrats are planning ahead for the day when every man, woman and child in the United States is on welfare and they’re forced to broaden the safety net to include other critters.
They’ve introduced a bill called the “Restore Our American Mustangs Act” (H.R.1018) that would create a brand spankin’ new $700 million entitlement program for wild horses.
If passed, the ROAM Act will “invest” your 700 million taxpayer dollars by:
• Conducting a wild horse census every two years (ACORN will immediately form a new subsidiary called OATS to oversee the count)
• Providing “enhanced contraception” and birth control for the wild mustangs (We didn’t know that wild horses practiced contraception in the first place so we’re a bit baffled as to what “enhanced” contraception might be. Perhaps we’ll be supplying the mares with morning after pills and guaranteeing their right to choose)
• Supplying $5 million to repair the damage the horses inflict upon the land (If you were a landlord and the horses were tenants, you’d evict them)
• Designating an additional 19 million acres of public and private land as wild horse habitat (If we understand this correctly, they damage the land so we’re going to supply them with 19 million more acres to damage)
• Mandating that government bureaucrats conduct home inspections before Americans can adopt the wild mustangs (At long last Madonna and Angelina will be able to stop adopting African horses)
The Mr. Ed theme song says, “A horse is a horse, of course, of course.”
The corollary is that “A horse’s ass is a horse’s ass, and we hope this will never pass.”
Marian Fluet loves to make hand-sewn dolls. She’s made hundreds of them. Fluet has reached the absolute acme of her doll-making career by creating lifelike Barack and Michelle Obama dolls.
Now that Marian Fluet has created the Obama doll, can the Joe Biden doll be far behind?
Ninety-four year old Marian Fluet loves to make hand-sewn dolls. She’s made hundreds of them. But now Fluet has reached the absolute acme of her doll-making career by creating lifelike Barack and Michelle Obama dolls.
The Barack doll comes in a stylish navy blue suit with matching tie and wears a flag pin in his lapel. The Michelle doll wears a dark green dress, gold necklace and pearl bracelet. Barack stands at 32 inches tall and Michelle measures in at 28 inches.
Thank god, the Obama dolls doesn’t talk like a Chatty Cathy doll or it would immediately demand a primetime press conference on Nick at Nite where it would apologize for the actions of G.I. Joe, cut funding for Buzz Lightyear and condemn Barbie as a racist.
A new Rasmussen Reports telephone survey of California voters shows that just 25% say illegal immigrants are not a major strain on the state budget. Eleven percent (11%) are not sure.
25% of California voters are too damn stupid to be allowed to vote
Here’s how a new survey from Rasmussen Reports tells the story:
Nearly two-out-of-three California voters (64%) say illegal immigrants put a significant strain on the state budget as lawmakers struggle to close a $26 billion deficit.
A new Rasmussen Reports telephone survey of California voters shows that just 25% say illegal immigrants are not a major strain on the state budget. Eleven percent (11%) are not sure.
Here’s a reality check for that 25% who think illegal aliens are not a strain on the budget and for the 11% who aren’t sure:
40% of all workers in L.A. County (L.A. County has 10.2 million people) are working for cash and not paying taxes. This was because they are predominantly illegal aliens working without a green card.
95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.
75% of people on the most wanted list in Los Angeles are illegal aliens.
Over 2/3 of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal alien Mexicans on Medi-Cal, whose births were paid for by taxpayers.
Nearly 25% of all inmates in California detention centers are Mexican nationals here illegally.
Over 300,000 illegal aliens in Los Angeles County are living in garages.
The FBI reports half of all gang members in Los Angeles are most likely illegal aliens from south of the border.
Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties are illegal.
There are 21 Spanish language radio stations in Los Angeles.
In L.A. County 5.1 million people speak English. 3.9 million speak Spanish. (There are 10.2 million people in L.A. County ).
70% of the United States’ annual population growth (and over 90% of California, Florida, and New York) is from illegal aliens.
And finally, less than 2% of illegal aliens are picking our crops, but 29% are on welfare.
Despite these horrifying stats, 25% of voters think illegal aliens are just fine and dandy. And another 11% don’t have an opinion.
Police unions in Cambridge, Massachusetts have come out in support of Sgt. James Crowley. They’re demanding an apology from President Obama for his statement that officers “acted stupidly” when they arrested black Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates Jr.
Racist cops arresting Henry Louis Gates. Hey, wait. Isn't that a black officer in the foreground?
Police unions in Cambridge, Massachusetts have come out in support of Sgt. James Crowley. They’re demanding an apology from President Obama for his statement that officers “acted stupidly” when they arrested black Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates Jr.
This should be interesting. The President has been more than happy to jet around the world apologizing to anyone and everyone whether they deserve it or not.
Now let’s see how long it takes him to apologize to Americans for once.
Update 7/24/09: Henry Louis Gates Police Report Henry Louis Gates Police Report page 1Henry Louis Gates Police Report page 2Henry Louis Gates Police Report page 3
Barack Obama talks to God for inspiration. He’s a religious fanatic. He’s worse than the Taliban. He’s turning the country over to dangerous religious elements.
The left has undergone a miraculous religious conversion since Barack Obama was inaugurated. Suddenly, it’s good again to be overtly religious.
Comments that would have driven the left to bemoan the blurring of the separation of church and state had Bush made them are now seen as proof of Obama’s humanity and humility.
Consider this exchange on Thursday’s Nightline:
Terry Moran: Last question. As you know, there’s a lot of curiosity about you and what you do and what you wear and all these things and where you worship. If I may ask, how have the responsibilities of the presidency affected your spiritual life, if at all.
Obama: Well, I had a habit of praying every night before I got to bed. I pray all the time now (laughs) because I have a lot of stuff on my plate and I need guidance all the time. We haven’t selected a permanent church home in DC….my Faith and Neighborhood Initiatives Director Joshua DeBois, he has a devotional that he sends to me on my Blackberry every day. That’s how I start my morning. It’s got a passage, a scripture, in some cases quotes from other faiths to reflect on. So look, when you’re in this job, I think every President who’s had it is constantly humbled by the degree to which there are a lot of issues out there and the notion that one person alone can solve all these problems…I think you’re cured of that illusion very quickly. You just hope that you’re aligning your work with His purposes and that you’re attuned to the needs of the people that you’re there to serve.
Good Lord (you’ll pardon he expression), the man talks to God for inspiration. He’s a religious fanatic. He’s worse than the Taliban. He’s turning the country over to dangerous religious elements.
Confused about what role religion should play in a president’s life? Keep the rule of thumb in mind:
Republican president prays, bad. Democrat president prays, good.
Back in 2005, a leading gay publication called The Advocate named Kerry Pacer its “Person of the Year.” She has gone straight and had a baby.
Kerry Pacer, former lesbian and current non-lesbian appears to be channeling actress Anne Heche
Now this is what you call an inconvenient truth. A very inconvenient truth.
Back in 2005, a leading gay publication called The Advocate named Kerry Pacer its “Person of the Year.”
Pacer, who was just 17 at the time, was featured on the cover of the magazine’s December issue. She was awarded the prestigious honor for her valiant struggle for a “gay-straight alliance” while she attended White County High School in Cleveland, Georgia.
Sad to say, Pacer has now discovered she’s straight. The Washington Blade, another gay publication, reports:
“…today she lives with her boyfriend, a construction worker, and their baby daughter, Marley, who turns 1 year old on Saturday.
“Well, she’s the most beautiful blue-eyed girl in the world and everybody tells me that so I’m not just being biased, I swear,” Pacer said with a laugh.
“I love every minute of motherhood. It’s been a very big challenge, however I love it. I’ve just been trying to work and go to school and take care of my family,” she said.
Oh, those crazy kids. You just never know what they’re going to do next. Nor who.
We have two remarkably talented American women, Sonia Sotomayor and Paula Abdul, are simultaneously being considered for important positions as judges.
We find ourselves at the point in American history where two remarkably talented American women are simultaneously being considered for important positions as judges.
We speak, of course, of Sonia Sotomayor and Paula Abdul.
Unbeknownst to most Americans, the similarities between these two women are amazing. Far more amazing than those Lincoln-Kennedy comparisons that make the rounds every few years. For example:
Their first names both contain five letters.
They were both born in June (Paula on June 19, Sonia on June 25).
Both are the children of immigrants. Paula’s father was Syrian and her mother was Canadian. Sonia’s parents were Puerto Rican.
Paula will soon find out if she will continue judging American Idol, the top-rated TV program in the United States. Sonia will soon find out if she will sit on the top court in the United States.
Paula always admired the Supremes, while Sonia always admired the Supreme Court.
Paula choreographed the Laker Girls and Sonia’s appearance before the Senate Judicial Committee was completely choreographed.
Both pursued their careers after being inspired by Hollywood. Paula’s hero was Gene Kelly, while Sonia’s hero was Hamilton Burger.
Paula is known for dancing while American Idol contestants perform, while Sonia is known for dancing around the Constitution.
Paula is known for making irrational statements while announcing her decisions, while Sonia is known for irrational statements in her written decisions.
Paula is often overruled by Randy and Simon, while Sonia is often overruled by the Supreme Court.
Paula has been accused of screwing one of the contestants she was expect to judge, while Sonia has been accused of screwing over those she was expected to judge.
Paula was a cheerleader in high school, while Sonia has been a cheerleader for a radical Puerto Rican group.
Paula had been forgotten by the American public until she began appearing on the TV show American Idol, while Sonia was unknown by the American people until she appeared on television during her Senate confirmation hearings.
Paula expects a raise to $20 million for being an American Idol judge, while Sonia expects a raise to $208,100 for sitting on the Supreme Court.
ABC’s Chris Cuomo and Claire Shipman noted the tenth anniversary of the death John F. Kennedy, Jr. by dubbing him “the prince of Camelot.” Barf!
No one could possibly live up to the liberal media's expectations for John F. Kennedy, Jr.
For God’s sake, man, will this senseless Kennedy worship never end?
ABC’s Chris Cuomo and Claire Shipman noted the tenth anniversary of the death John F. Kennedy, Jr. by dubbing him “the prince of Camelot.”
Shipman said his “very existence had somehow come to represent a critical link to our fairy tale past. And always, always the possibility of another chapter.”
“And a decade later,” Shipman whimpered, “it’s still the potential we remember, the what-might-have-been.”
The key phrase here is “fairy tale,” because the reality of John John’s life veers quickly into a display of no potential whatsoever.
It’s also been widely reported that “the prince” wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. He failed the New York bar exam twice. He published George, a money-losing political magazine. He dated the horse-faced Sarah Jessica Parker and the whorish Madonna. And as a result of inexperience, arrogance or stupidity (take your choice), he flew his airplane into the ocean at night.
The fairy tale of unfulfilled Kennedy potential took another blow last year when John John’s sister Caroline (the princess of Camelot, we assume) made an embarrassing and quickly-aborted run for the Senate in New York.
Of course, the liberal media spoon feeds tasty fairy tale morsels to the masses and they eat it up.
If you’ll excuse us, we have an unfulfilled urge to vomit.
Three House Democratic leaders who were whipping members on the climate change bill gave tens of thousands in campaign cash to party moderates around the time of the 219-212 vote on June 26, according to Federal Election Commission records.
It’s impossible to tell if that torrent of cash was an attempt to schmear wavering Democrats — or just part of the usual cash dump made by leaders on the eve of the June 30 quarterly fundraising deadline.
Are you wondering what the hell the word “schmear” mean? Well, the Merrian-Webster online dictionary defines it as “an aggregate of related things.”
As in the sentence, “We have a whole schmear of cheap Democrat whores in congress.”
That’s what ObamaCare means. A 20-year old Illegal alien and his family will be covered, but your elderly mother might not be. What has happened to America?
That’s what ObamaCare means. A 20-year old Illegal alien and his family will be covered, but your elderly mother might not be. What has happened to America?
