editor – Page 77 – I HATE THE MEDIA ™

Alibi of the year: Suspect denies owning crack found in his … uhhh … crack

A Florida man arrested Wednesday on drug charges told cops that a bag of cocaine found hidden inside his buttocks did not belong to him.

We’re all guilty of saying some stupid things when we’re unexpectedly put on the spot. But the next time Raymond Roberts is arrested, he may want to think his alibi through a little more thoroughly than he did this time:

A Florida man arrested Wednesday on drug charges told cops that a bag of cocaine found hidden inside his buttocks did not belong to him. Though the suspect did cop to ownership of a bag of marijuana hidden alongside the coke.

The narcotics were discovered by Manatee County Sheriff’s Office deputies after Raymond Roberts’s Hyundai was pulled over on a Bradenton street for speeding Wednesday morning. Investigators, who reported smelling a strong odor of marijuana emanating from the vehicle, subsequently searched the 25-year-old Roberts and discovered his hidden stash.

… Roberts quickly disavowed ownership of the cocaine. “The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is,” he claimed, adding that the crack in his crack was the property of a friend who had previously borrowed the car and left the drug on the passenger seat. Roberts explained that when he was pulled over for speeding, he concealed the second bag of narcotics.

IHTM’s editor is not embarrassed to admit that Cops is his favorite TV show. And one of his all-time favorite episodes is the one where the police find drugs in a suspect’s pockets while frisking him. The suspect’s response? “These aren’t my pants.”

We didn’t think any suspect could top that line, but Mr. Roberts seems to have proven us wrong.

H/T: TheSmokingGun.com

Biden insults his audience. And for once, we don’t mean their intelligence.

Joe Biden routinely insults the intelligence of his admirers. But now he’s just plain insulting them.

The Hill delivers the derogatory details:

Vice President Joe Biden got a laugh from his audience at a Wisconsin fundraising event Thursday when he tried to rile the crowd about the economic collapse of 2008.

“We want to reward people who manufacture things in the United States, in Wisconsin, not to take them overseas to China and to other countries!” he said to a silent room at the event for Democratic gubernatorial nominee Tom Barrett, according to a White House pool report.

The crowd didn’t erupt in spontaneous cheers for the Obama administration’s remarkable achievements in unemployment, which annoyed the gaffe-tastic vice president:

He continued, saying, “You’re the dullest audience I’ve ever spoken to,” at which point he got applause and laughs. “Do you realize how many jobs Wisconsin lost? It’s staggering!”

Yes, of course, they realize how many jobs the state lost, Joe. That’s why they didn’t cheer in the first place.

What an administration. The President reminds everyone of Jimmy Carter. And the Vice President reminds everyone of Dan Quayle.

We’re screwed.

Source: TheHill.com

Greta Van Susteren bitch slaps Gloria Allred for the second time in a week

After getting slapped around a few days ago, Gloria Allred decided – incorrectly, as it turned out – that it would be a good idea to go back on Greta Van Susteren’s Fox News show.

Far as we can tell, the phrase “bitch slap” was created with Gloria Allred in mind. It’s not easy to degrade the legal and media professions any further, but she is able to accomplish both tasks singlehandedly.

After getting slapped around a few days ago, Allred decided – incorrectly, as it turned out – that it would be a good idea to go back on Greta Van Susteren’s Fox News show.

There are a lot of great moments in this clip, but our favorite is Greta saying, “I think she would have been a lot smarter to talk to a lawyer who worried about whether she would be deported than some sort of public statement on someone running for office … You know what, Gloria? The first thing for a lawyer to do is to protect the client, not throw the client out to the wolves. If you can’t protect the client you shouldn’t do the job….”

Anyone think Gloria will stagger back into the studio for round three?

H/T: Gateway Pundit

Charlie Crist may claim he’s an Independent, but he throws like a Democrat

Charlie Crist, turncoat Republican and now Independent candidate for governor of Florida, assured his own defeat on Thursday when he threw out the first pitch at game two of the American League playoff game.

Seems to us that the American people want their President to be a manly man. Someone who can go toe-to-toe with Vladimir Putin. Somebody who can chop wood. Somebody who can fire a fastball down the middle of the plate.

Maybe that’s why there’s a bit of a correlation between the moment President Obama began slipping in the polls and the night he threw out that girly first pitch at the 2009 major league all-star game.

If that’s the case, then Charlie Crist, turncoat Republican and now Independent candidate for governor of Florida, assured his own defeat on Thursday when he threw out the first pitch at game two of the American League playoff game between Tampa Bay and Texas. It may have been the worst first pitches in the history of baseball.

Based on our previous experience with President Obama, it’s unfair to say that Crist throws like a girl. But it’s not unfair to say he throws like a Democrat.

It’s come to this: Obama now makes people physically ill

He’s had that effect on conservatives since he first opened his yap. But now even Democrat supporters are sick of him.

arrogant obama — It's no longer just conservatives who are sick of President Obama

WTOP has the sickening details:

About three dozen people have been treated for illness during a rally featuring President Obama at Bowie State University.

Prince George’s County Fire and EMS spokesman Mark Brady tells WTOP numerous ambulances have been sent to the rally after people started fainting and became dizzy.

The problems could be related to warmer temperatures today. Brady says crowds at the rally were outside and packed shoulder to shoulder.

Two people have been taken to the hospital so far, Brady says. The rest have been treated at the scene.

There was a time when fainting spectators would have been attributed to the power of his words, his charisma, his aura. But now it’s the heat, the size of the crowd, the fact that it was the first Thursday of the month.

Can outrage make you pass out?

Source: WTOP.com

Goracle comes up empty: Hurricane activity at record low

Albert Gore, Jr., the so-called Goracle, predicted that global warming would make the record 2005 hurricane season seem like the good ol’ days. Hurricanes, according to Gore, were going to get more powerful and more frequent.

As Florida State University reports, Gore couldn’t have been more wrong:

Update: Current Year-to-Date analysis of Northern Hemisphere and Global Tropical Cyclone Accumulated Cyclone Energy (ACE) AND Power Dissipation Index (PDI) has fallen even further than during the previous 3-years. The global inactivity is at 33-year lows and historical where Typhoons form in the Western Pacific.

While the North Atlantic has seen 15 tropical storms/hurricanes of various intensity, the Pacific basin as a whole is at historical lows! In the Western North Pacific stretching from Guam to Japan and the Philippines and China, the current ACE value of 48 is the lowest seen since reliable records became available (1945) and is 78% below normal*. The next lowest was an ACE of 78 in 1998. See figure below for visual evidence of the past 40-years of tropical cyclone activity.

Far be it from us to be skeptical, but has even one of Gore’s Inconvenient Truth predictions come true?

Simple fact is, there only one thing right now showing less energy than worldwide hurricanes – Democrat voters.

hurricane-activity

Source: Florida State University

It’s all about him: President Obama says, “Don’t make me look bad” in November elections

The economy teeters on the brink of disaster. The dollar is plunging. Afghanistan is spinning out of control. But you can rest assured that President Obama has his priorities in order. And the top priority is…himself.

On Thursday he told – no pleaded – with a crowd of supporters to prove the pundits wrong by saying, “Don’t make me look bad.”

Don’t you worry about that, President Obama. When it comes to making you look bad, you are what’s known as a self-made man.

Is this the best Family Feud answer ever?

We didn’t even know Family Feud was still on the air. Apparently, it is and comedian Steve Harvey has taken over as the new host. It’s not even the answer that’s so funny in this clip, but Harvey’s reaction and ad libs are classic.

We didn’t even know Family Feud was still on the air. Apparently, it is and comedian Steve Harvey has taken over as the new host.

It’s not even the answer that’s so funny in this clip, but Harvey’s reaction and ad libs are classic.

Democrat Congressman Phil Hare says our $13.3 trillion national debt is a myth. You know, like unicorns.

The Honorable Mr. Phil Hare wants you to know that the national debt is nothing but a myth. Like unicorns. Like the Easter bunny. Like Democrat fiscal responsibility.

On one hand, Hare says our debt and deficits are mere myths. On the other hand, he says we need more of it.

“And we will see a terrible price that we will pay years down the road for letting our children down when they need us the absolute most. I’m not going to be part of that. So every minute I have here is going to be spent trying to debunk the myth that this country’s in debt and we just can’t spend.”

Hare’s kind of like a kid who just learned that there’s no Santa Claus, but puts milk and cookies next to the tree on Christmas Eve just in case.

If you thought Olbermann’s James Thurber readings were ratings killers, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet

In this remarkably unfunny segment, Olbermann attempts to rip Christine O’Donnell by using some of his trademark sophisticated wit. You know, that special brand of liberal comedy gold that’s sooooo far over the heads of ignorant conservatives.

Watch this train wreck for yourself. And tell us if you don’t agree that by the time it’s over even Olbermann knows the entire segment has been one giant stink bomb.

H/T: Mediaite

Desperate Democrat sends out campaign email saying is opponent is worse than a rat

Jim Carville sent out a fundraising e-mail for Missouri Senate candidate Robin Carnahan (D), in which he offered reasons for why Roy Blunt is the wrong choice as the next Missouri senator.

Democrats see the Missouri senate race slipping away, so they brought in James Carville to rescue their candidate. That may have been a mistake.

The Hill reports Carville’s contribution:

Democratic strategist James Carville said he would rather have a rat for a senator than Rep. Roy Blunt (R-Mo.).

Carville sent out a fundraising e-mail for Missouri Senate candidate Robin Carnahan (D), in which he offered reasons for why Blunt is the wrong choice as the next Missouri senator.

“In my years working in politics, I’ve seen things that really made me angry, but the level of misdirection and the outright lies perpetrated by Congressman Blunt’s campaign and his fat cat buddies are enough to make me start spluttering,” said Carville.

He wrote: “If I had to pick either the rat or Congressman Blunt to represent me in the US Senate, I’d take the rat seven days a week and twice on Sunday.”

And since he’s a Democrat, he’d also have the rat vote several times on Tuesday.

Source: The Hill

Texas Congressman wants Obama to put 10,000 troops on Mexican border

If Congressman Ted Poe has his way, President Obama will be putting troops on the Mexican border. Lots of troops.

CNSnews.com has the details:

Texas Republican Rep. Ted Poe has introduced legislation that would force President Obama to put 10,000 troops on the Mexican border.

Rep. Ted Poe (R.-Texas), who served for 30 years as a Texas prosecutor and judge before being elected to Congress, introduced legislation last week designed to force President Barack Obama to deploy a minimum of 10,000 National Guard troops at the U.S. Mexico border for the specific purpose of patrolling the border and intercepting aliens and smugglers attempting to cross illegally into the United States.

The legislation would allow the president to deploy more than 10,000 National Guardsmen, but not fewer.

“The president could put more than that, but he must put 10,000,” Poe told CNSNews.com. “The uniqueness of this is they would be paid by the federal government, because everybody says it is the responsibility of the federal government to protect the border. So the federal government will use the resources it already has to pay for those 10,000 National Guard troops, but they will be supervised by the governors of the four states on the border.”

We love this idea, so don’t get us wrong. But we think the only way this bill will ever get passed is if the vote is held while Democrats are all struck dumb by the concept of actually defending our borders.

Source: CNSnews.com

Repressed memories: Only 42% can recall voting for what’s-his-name

Only 42 percent of respondents said they recalled voting for Obama in 2008 even though the president received, on average, 53 percent of the vote in those districts.

A new poll conducted by The Hill and ANGA yielded some hilarious results.

They surveyed voters in 12 competitive congressional districts held by first-term Democrats who rode Obama’s coattails into office in 2008.

obama-back-of-head — "I know I didn't vote for McCain, but I just can't recall the name of the guy I did vote for."

Of the voters surveyed, 69 percent said their feelings about Obama will be an important consideration when they vote in congressional elections, while 28 percent said the president would not be a factor…

One telling finding is that only 42 percent of respondents said they recalled voting for Obama in 2008 even though the president received, on average, 53 percent of the vote in those districts.

Pollsters said that finding could indicate voter remorse, which may reflect a major drop in enthusiasm for the president.

Gee. Ya think?

Source: The Hill

Duh! Janet Napolitano can’t figure out what to do with Meg Whitman’s illegal housekeeper

Bill O’Reilly interviewed über genius Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano and learned that she doesn’t quite know what to do with Nicky Diaz, Meg Whitman’s illegal alien housekeeper.

Let us help you reason your way through this one, Janet. There are three things you need to consider in this case:

First, she’s illegal. Second, she’s illegal. Third, she’s illegal. Case closed. Stick her on the next bus back to Mexico.

Any other thorny issues we can help you with, Ms. Secretary of Homeland Security?

Krystal Ball is running for congress in Virginia as a Democrat Dildocrat

Krystal is a Democrat running for Congress in Virginia’s overwhelmingly Republican first district. So odds are she didn’t have much of a shot at winning even before these photos leaked. Now she probably has zero chance.

krystal ball

Someone with this candidate’s name should have been able to look into the future and say, “I see problems if I allow these photos to be taken.”

But, no, one might say that Krystal Ball’s crystal ball was broken.

Krystal’s problem? The leaked photos show her dressed as a sexy Santa performing fellatio on a dildo-nosed reindeer. Her defense is basically, “Hey, c’mon, those photos were taken right after I got out of college and that’s my husband wearing the dildo and leash.”

Unfortunately, Krystal, this is 2010 and the photos are what you call political career killers everywhere but San Francisco and Barney Frank’s district, where they’re called resume enhancements.

Too bad. Krystal’s almost cute enough to be a conservative.

Source: Black Velvet Bruce Li

Bolivian dictator knees his opponent in los huevos

Bolivian politicians were playing in a nationally-televised game of soccer when Evo Morales kneed Daniel Gustavo Cartagena in the genitals.

Rahm Emanuel is known as a thug, but he’s an amateur compared to Bolivian strong man Evo Morales.

Bolivian politicians were playing in a nationally-televised game of soccer when Morales decided to deliver a message to one of his rivals.

BBC News describes what happened:

Mr Morales was fouled by an opposition player, Daniel Gustavo Cartagena.

In an apparent retaliation caught on video, he was seen kneeing Mr Cartagena in the genitals, sending him sprawling (You can see it at about the :36 second mark of the video clip).

“I passed the ball and, suddenly, I got hit, and not for the first time,” the president said later.

After receiving treatment for injury, Mr Morales played on, and scored a goal.

Believe it or not, Morales wasn’t penalized. Cartagena was later tossed out of the game and Morales later to have him arrested.

We’re confident that no political rival will ever kick Barack Obama in los huevos. Far as can be determined, he doesn’t have any.

Source: BBC News

This is what you call symbolism: Presidential seal falls off lectern during Obama speech

In this clip, President Obama demonstrates his ability to remain cool, calm and collected in the face of embarrassment and disaster, a trait that should serve him well on November 2.

Constitution, schmonstitution: Obama says he’ll be in office “8-10 years.”

The guy’s already ignored most of the Constitution, so he may as well ignore the 22nd Amendment, too. Ten years is actually less than we feared. We thought he might appoint himself President For Life.

The guy’s already ignored most of the Constitution, so he may as well ignore the 22nd Amendment, too.

Ten years is actually less than we feared. We thought he might appoint himself President For Life.

Republican Linda McMahon creates panic by asking Democrat Dick Blumenthal how to create a job

Linda McMahon, who’s created thousands of jobs, looked Dick Blumenthal straight in the eye and asked a simple question: “How do you create a job?”

The scene: The Connecticut debate between successful businesswoman Linda McMahon and lifelong bureaucrat hack Dick Blumenthal.

McMahon, who’s created thousands of jobs, looked Blumenthal straight in the eye and asked a simple question: “How do you create a job?”

Blumenthal stuttered and stammered and babbled and attempted to talk until people forgot what the question was and, in the end, made himself look like an idiot.

Higher education can’t get much lower: Penn State censors anti-terrorism art exhibit

Free thinking can be, like, hard. And it can be uncomfortable. It can even be dangerous, especially when you dare treat Islam with the same critical examination that you freely — one could almost add, gleefully — hand out to the world’s other great religions, especially Christianity and Judaism.

From the abolition movement to civil rights sit-ins, debate, artistic expression and free speech have been written in the genetic code of institutions of higher education.

But free thinking can be, like, hard. And it can be uncomfortable. It can even be dangerous, especially when you dare treat Islam with the same critical examination that you freely — one could almost add, gleefully — hand out to the world’s other great religions, especially Christianity and Judaism.

Thankfully, political indoctrination, in the form of political correctness, is easing those uncomfortable debates and putting universities far, far away from suicide bombers who may take issue with debate and free expression. (Hopefully, they’ll bomb someone else.)

Case in point: Here’s how Penn State deals with an art show on Islamic terrorism.

While the university has been home to a recent sadomasochistis and pedofile supporters at a Sex Faire, it just couldn’t bring itself to allow one artist’s view of terrorism.

After all, that would be, like, intolerant.

– Written by Sven Waring, DotPenn.com

H/T: Moonbattery.com

John Conyers is nuttier than a friggin’ fruitcake (Note: not intended as a Barney Frank reference)

The old coot recently went on a rambling rant in which he said the lame duck Congress will – among other things – cut social security and investigate Karl Rove.

Democrat Congressman John Conyers may not lose his election, but it appears that he’s lost his mind.

The old coot recently went on a rambling rant in which he said the lame duck Congress will – among other things – cut social security and investigate Karl Rove.

Yes, that Karl Rove.

“I don’t want to go back into history,” Conyers said, “but Karl Rove is at it again and I think we ought to take a new look at him based on the fact that when we were deciding what to do with him he was out doing more mischief and so I think that calls for a re-investigation of him….”

Two words: term limits.

Delusional Ed Schultz claims One Nation rally was same size as Glenn Beck’s rally

This was completely predictable. So we forced ourselves to watch the first ten minutes of Shultz’s MSNBC program on Monday just to see how he tried to spin the abysmal failure of Saturday’s One Nation rally.

And spin he did.

Schultz: Now, conservatives want you to believe that Glenn Beck’s phony religious revival was way bigger than the One Nation rally. Well, let me take you back to the day of the Beck rally on August 28th, 2010, at 6:32 P.M., CBS.com proved Beck’s crowd was, as I said, no big shakes. “An estimated 87,000 people attended the rally organized by radio talk show host and Fox News commentator Glenn Beck Saturday in Washington, according to a crowd estimate commissioned by CBS News. The company, AirPhotosLive.com, based the attendance on aerial photos it took over the rally.” Now to be fair, NBC News put the size of Beck’s crowd at 300,000 people. So, somewhere in between all of this, 87,000, give or take 9 grand by that company, and 300,000 is reported by NBC. Pretty much, would you say that the size of the crowd is pretty much the same? I would. I was there. The people I saw, it was packed.

Step One: Ignore all photographic evidence.
Step Two: Take the lowest possible estimate of attendance at Beck’s rally.
Step Three: Take the highest possible estimate of attendance at the One Nation rally.
Step Four: Attempt to make a valid comparison out of them.

There is, indeed, something packed full here. And it’s name is Ed Schultz.

He-she used to sell adult toys. He-she is a transsexual. He-she is a conservative in San Francisco. He-he-he.

A transgender woman who used to run a sex toy company called Good Vibrations reportedly is being labeled as the “conservative” candidate in a local San Francisco race.

File this in the “You can’t make this stuff up” department. Because, well, just because we can’t figure out a more appropriate place.

FOX News has what passes as conservative news in San Francisco:

A transgender woman who used to run a sex toy company called Good Vibrations reportedly is being labeled as the “conservative” candidate in a local San Francisco race.

SF Weekly reports that Theresa Sparks, a candidate for a seat on the city’s Board of Supervisors, is being criticized as the insider, conservative pick.

Sparks is backed by Mayor Gavin Newsom and held a seat on the city’s Police Commission. She allegedly drifts “conservative” by opposing a hotel tax and, according to one local paper, declining to put pressure on the city’s police officers while serving on the disciplinary panel.

Theresa Sparks. He used to hang to the left, but she now leans to the right. But only in San Francisco.

Source: FOX News

A man has to have his priorities: Britain’s new Labor leader explains why he hasn’t married his child’s mother

Ed Miliband, the new leader of Britain’s Labor Party, for example, who takes time to explain why he hasn’t yet married the mother of his bastard child.

Any fool knows that the proper time to marry the mother of your child is after you save the world and get elected to office.

Take Ed Miliband, the new leader of Britain’s Labor Party, for example, who takes time to explain why he hasn’t yet married the mother of his bastard child:

“The Copenhagen environmental summit got in the way. Then there was the general election, and now the leadership election.”

Then, first thing you know, it’s fall and the leaves need raking. Then there’s Christmas. And then, of course, he needs to get the car washed. You just have to admire a man who has his priorities in order.

NOTE: You may feel that we’ve gone too far by calling the innocent child a bastard. But genetics being what they are, we figure the kid has a 50-50 chance of being as big a bastard as her father.

H/T: Andrew Bolt

Gulp: Gallup poll hints that Republicans could pick up 100 seats. Repeat, 100 seats.

Well, slap us naked (and make sure Christine O’Donnell is in the room when you do it). We don’t want to get carried away or overconfident or even crazy here, but we’re one of those three and we just don’t know which one.

democrat-graveyard — Welcome to the Pelosi Lawn, where socialism is about to be interred

The Washington Examiner has the Michael Barone’s analysis:

Late yesterday, Gallup came out with new numbers on the generic ballot question—which party’s candidates would you vote for in the election for House of Representatives? Among registered voters Gallup shows Republicans ahead by 46%-42%, about as good a score as Republicans have ever had (and about as bad a score as Democrats have ever had) since Gallup started asking the question in 1942.

However, Gallup also shows the results for two different turnout models. Under its “high turnout model” Republicans lead 53%-40%. Under its “low turnout model” Republicans lead 56%-38%.

These two numbers, if translated into popular votes in the 435 congressional districts, suggest huge gains for Republicans and a Republican House majority the likes of which we have not seen since the election cycles of 1946 or even 1928. For months, people have been asking me if this year looks like ’94. My response is that the poll numbers suggest it looks like 1994, when Republicans gained 52 seats in a House of 435 seats. Or perhaps somewhat better for Republicans and worse for Democrats. The Gallup high turnout and low turnout numbers suggest it looks like 1894, when Republicans gained more than 100 seats in a House of approximately 350 seats.

You know, of course, what manly men we are here at IHateTheMedia.com, but we’re about to start squealing like little girls with puppies.

Source: Washington Examiner

Shang Kwon on Merry Christmas 2024: “Merry Christmas…and welcome back!” Dec 26, 05:49
CO2Insanity on See the Epstein trial records.: “Fixed.” Jul 4, 07:13
JPTravis on See the Epstein trial records.: “This is a test. My last comment never showed up.” Jul 4, 06:33
JPTravis on See the Epstein trial records.: “I read about this. What a despicable performance by the Florida prosecutors. It seems clear they were bought and paid…” Jul 3, 06:51
deepthinker on Biden in France for D-Day, just tried to sit on an invisible chair.: “Are you sure he was trying to sit or did he do the Biden and really sit?” Jun 16, 04:10