Category: News 2

news from around the globe

ACORN soon to be as bankrupt financially
as it is morally

Times are tough at ACORN. In the wake of the organization’s pimp-and-whore corruption videos, Congress has cut off its funding, private donations have dried up and charitable grants have dwindled.

When Democrats said, "Do it for the children," no one knew they were talking about Salvadoran child prostitutes
When Democrats said, "Do it for the children," no one knew they were talking about Salvadoran child prostitutes

Times are tough at ACORN. In the wake of the organization’s pimp-and-whore corruption videos, Congress has cut off its funding, private donations have dried up and charitable grants have dwindled.

American Spectator has the sad details:

“They may have to file for bankruptcy if they don’t have several big pending grants approved or get emergency loans,” a highly placed ACORN source told me over the weekend. This information bolsters Rep. Darrell Issa’s (R-Calif.) claim last week that ACORN is in turmoil amidst internal power struggles and on the verge of bankruptcy.

Given that ACORN is a network of hundreds of affiliated nonprofits, it’s not exactly clear how a bankruptcy filing would work, but the idea is under serious consideration by ACORN’s leadership. It was discussed at length at the group’s most recent national board meeting…

The report continues:

As of Nov. 11, ACORN and its affiliates owed at least $2,328,596 in long overdue back taxes to all levels of government. Many of the tax liens, which are only issued by creditor tax agencies after a tax debt has become seriously delinquent, do not appear in the Nexis database, so the actual total may be much higher. ACORN has been negotiating with tax collectors to have interest on its tax debts waived and to have some of the debts partially forgiven.

The new tax lien data throw new light on why ACORN can’t sell its former headquarters at 1024 Elysian Fields Ave. in New Orleans. French Quarter Realty is asking $835,000 for the property, which is now weighed down by a whopping $1,278,862 in tax liens.

Of that nearly $1.3 million, $619,271 is owed to the IRS. It’s unclear why the Obama administration’s tax enforcers haven’t seized the property yet. Perhaps the president is extending a courtesy to his former employer.

Whores and pimps across the nation are in mourning.

Source: American Spectator via Bluegrass Pundit

Gore resorts to smoke, mirrors and Photoshop trickery in his new science fiction book

Al Gore has lost a little credibility with his attempt to scare the bejeezus out of readers by including a heavily-Photoshopped photo of Earth just inside the front cover.

gore-photoshop

Sure, Al Gore’s made hundreds of millions of dollars with his global warming scam, but you still have to feel sorry for the poor schlub.

America’s book buyers have decided that “Our Choice,” Gore’s latest book, is more science fiction than science. Instead of flying off the shelves in droves, it’s being left on the shelves in droves. Perhaps Gore has lost a little credibility with his attempt to scare the bejeezus out of readers by including a heavily-Photoshopped photo of Earth just inside the front cover.

What kind of PhotoShopping? Let’s just start with these egregious examples:

  • All the Arctic ice and most of Greenland’s ice has mysteriously disappeared
  • Florida is mostly submerged
  • Central America is gone
  • Cuba is gone
  • The hemisphere is bedeviled by four different hurricanes. Simultaneously. The thing is, though, that the one off the coast of mini-Florida is spinning in the wrong direction, meaning that it is actually a Southern Hemisphere hurricane.
  • There is a hurricane down there near the equator off the coast of Peru, which is damn near physically impossible.

To give Gore the benefit of the doubt, we wanted to assume that this artwork was an attempt to demonstrate what could happen if all the ice in the arctic and Greenland were to melt (as is shown in the photo). Unfortunately, for Panama to disappear beneath the waves would require sea levels to rise more than 11,400 feet (slightly more than the 14-inches anticipated by the IPCC report).

That sea level rise would leave only five towns in the entire world above water – Namache Bazaar, Nepal at 11,482 feet; Potosi, Bolivia at 13,420 feet; El Alto, Bolivia at 13,615 feet, Lhasa Tibet at 12,200 feet; and La Rinoconada, Peru at 16,728 feet. Denver, the Mile High City, would be a mile under water.

Sara Palin’s book is a runaway #1 this week on Amazon.com and has been in their Top 100 for 52 days. Glenn Beck’s book is #8 and has been in the Top 100 for 44 days. The global warming-bashing SuperFreakonomics is #10 and has been on the Top 100 for 46 days.

Meanwhile, Gore’s “Our Choice” never reached the Top 20 and has dropped to #123 after just 15 days. Two weeks ago it was #49 and last week it was #59. So it’s dropping even faster than worldwide temperatures and Gore’s credibility.

There’s only one way to reverse this disaster:

More PhotoShopping, Al, more PhotoShopping.

Source: InfoWars.com

Why didn’t we think of this: Denmark pays immigrants to go home

Denmark has increased by tenfold the amount of money offered to immigrants who return home permanently to 100,000 kroner ($20,000), officials said on Monday.

Don't like the famous Danish Mohammed cartoon? Go home, Farook.
Don't like the famous Danish Mohammed cartoon? Go home, Farook.

Hey, if we can’t build a wall to keep ‘em out, let’s pay ‘em to go home. It must be acceptable, because the socialist paradise of Denmark is doing it.

Denmark has increased by tenfold the amount of money offered to immigrants who return home permanently to 100,000 kroner ($20,000), officials said on Monday …

The scheme is aimed at immigrants from outside the European Union and Nordic countries, DPP deputy leader Peter Skaarup told AFP.

“It in practice targets those nationals from non-Western countries who are struggling to adapt to Danish society…”

The agreement also calls for 20 million kroner in aid to city councils in charge of integrating immigrants, to help them “motivate” foreigners to return home.

According to the refugee, immigrant and integration ministry, some 2,524 people have voluntarily left Denmark since 1997, when the repatriation programme was introduced. Most of them were from the former Yugoslavia, Iraq, Iran, Lebanon, Somalia and Turkey.

Far be it from us to think that Denmark may be profiling its immigrants, but “most of them were from the former Yugoslavia, Iraq, Iran, Lebanon, Somalia and Turkey.”

In other words, “Hey, Abdul, don’t the the door whack you on the ass on the way out.”

It hardly seems “fair,” but hell, give us $20,000 and we’d ship our grandparents back to the Netherlands. Even if they didn’t want to go.

Source: Andrew Bolt

Krauthammer sums up Obama in eight words: “The narcissism of the man is rather unbounded”

Charles Krauthammer is clearly dumbfounded by Obama’s claim that he is the first “Pacific president.”

Charles Krauthammer is clearly dumbfounded by Obama’s claim that he is the first “Pacific president.”

Why so surprised, Charles? After all, this is the same guy who turned the 20th anniversary of the Fall of the Wall into an opportunity to speak about himself.

Change, yes. Hope, no. President’s Pakastani policy not having hoped for effect.

While we’re not sure that fomenting a civil war in Pakistan was part of the change that President Obama campaigned for, it certainly appears to be the result of his “changed” foreign policy in AfPak.

Bringing hope and change to the Pakistani Taliban
Bringing hope and change to the Pakistani Taliban

While we’re not sure that fomenting a civil war in Pakistan was part of the change that President Obama campaigned for, it certainly appears to be the result of his “changed” foreign policy in AfPak.

Pakistani Taliban militants vowed to fight a tough, protracted guerrilla war against the army on Tuesday as a suicide car-bomber killed up to 20 people in a northwestern town, police said.

Yup, insisting that the Pakistani Army go on the offensive in Wazirastan is having the opposite of the hoped for effect:

The militants have responded with intensified attacks in towns and cities since the offensive was launched, killing several hundred people.

In the latest attack, a suicide bomber in a car set off explosives… in the center of Charsadda, 20 km (12 miles) northeast of the city of Peshawar, killing up to 20 people and wounding at least 30, town police chief Riaz Khan said.”

Taliban spokesman Azam Tariq speaking of the offensive:

“They are capturing roads while our people are still operating in the forests and mountains.”

“We have started guerrilla war against the Pakistani army. We’ve carried out several actions against the army and inflicted heavy losses on them,” he said.

Way to go, Team O. Picking up where Team Cheney left off? Escalating it to further destabilize a nuclear-armed nation? Brilliant!

Source: Reuters

46 handshakes, one bow. Wow.

How do world leaders greet Emperor Akihito of Japan? Thanks to the University of Connecticut Republicans, you can now see 47 of them in action. Only one bows.

How do world leaders greet Emperor Akihito of Japan? Thanks to the University of Connecticut Republicans, you can now see 47 of them in action. Only one bows.

Source: UConnRepublicans

Apple hangs up on iPhone app featuring Nancy Pelosi caricature

Apple’s leftwing politics have reared their ugly head again. The computer company has killed an iPhone app because it contained caricatures of Democrat Nancy Pelosi and other members of congress. Apple called the caricatures “objectionable.”

nancy-pelosi-iphone-app

Apple’s leftwing politics have reared their ugly head again. The computer company has killed an iPhone app because it contained caricatures of Democrat Nancy Pelosi and other members of congress. Apple called the caricatures “objectionable.”

The iPhone app directory featured drawings of every member of Congress by freelance cartoonist Tom Richmond. The developer of the app believes his product was killed because Pelosi’s husband is a major Apple stockholder.

Fox News reports:

“Everyone’s talking about the health care bill and calling their congressman, but sometimes it’s hard to find their numbers,” Ray Griggs said. “We made an iPhone app that puts them a click or a phone call away, and links by GPS to find your congressman or senator’s contact information. We thought Congress wanted to hear from their constituents.”

Griggs noted that Apple has approved apps that simulate the sound of human flatulence, that let users make models out of human feces, and that create a bloody knife when the iPhone is shaken. There have also been controversial images of women’s breasts, and a notorious app that let the user quiet a crying baby by shaking it into silence, which was subsequently removed.

We have to agree with Griggs on this one. On the ten point objectionable scale, we’re pretty sure Pelosi falls somewhere between human flatulence and human feces.

Source: FoxNews.com

Unemployment reaches new high, Obama’s approval rating reaches new low

The Rasmussen Reports daily Presidential Tracking Poll for Wednesday shows that just 26% of the nation’s voters Strongly Approve of the way that Barack Obama is performing his role as President.

obama-approval-minus-14

How about if we just get out of the way and let the pros at Rasmussen tell Obama’s sad tale:

The Rasmussen Reports daily Presidential Tracking Poll for Wednesday shows that 26% of the nation’s voters Strongly Approve of the way that Barack Obama is performing his role as President. Forty percent (40%) Strongly Disapprove giving Obama a Presidential Approval Index rating of -14. That matches the lowest Approval Index rating yet recorded for this President.

Over the past month, the number who Strongly Approve of the President’s performance has generally stayed between 27% and 30% (with one exception in each direction). Today’s drop to 26% matches the lowest level of strong approval yet recorded.

The number who Strongly Disapprove has stayed between 37% and 41% every day for over a month. The only previous time that Obama’s Approval Index rating was this low came on August 23. It remains to be seen whether the current low is just statistical noise or if it is something more lasting.

Just 47% of Democrats now Strongly Approve of the President’s performance. Sixty-eight percent (68%) of Republicans Strongly Disapprove, as do 43% of those not affiliated with either major political party. These numbers reflect the concern some Democratic analysts are voicing about an enthusiasm gap heading into the 2010 mid-term elections. See other recent demographic highlights.

In the words of Chubby Checker’s immortal Limbo Rock, “How low can you go?”

Source: Rasmussen Reports

Al Gore demonstrates that he is a scientific genius

It’s a good thing Al Gore won that Nobel Peace Prize, because he disqualified himself for any of the scientific awards with this display of ignorance on the Tonight Show.

It’s a good thing Al Gore won that Nobel Peace Prize, because he disqualified himself for any of the scientific awards with this display of ignorance on the Tonight Show.

Conan: You talk in the book about geothermal energy.
Gore: Yeah, yeah.
Conan: …and that is, as I understand it, using the heat that’s generated from the core of the earth …
Gore: Yeah.
Conan: … to create energy, and it sounds to me like an evil plan by Lex Luthor to defeat Superman. Can you, can you tell me, is this a viable solution, geothermal energy?
Gore: It definitely is. And it’s a relatively new one. People think about geothermal energy — when they think about it at all — in terms of the hot water bubbling up in some places, but two kilometers or so down in most places there are these incredibly hot rocks, ’cause the interior of the earth is extremely hot, several million degrees, and the crust of the earth is hot …

John Derbyshire brought a little reality to Gore’s science fiction in National Review, “The geothermal gradient is usually quoted as 25–50 degrees Celsius per mile of depth in normal terrain (not, e.g., in the crater of Kilauea). Two kilometers down, therefore, (that’s a mile and a quarter if you’re not as science-y as Al) you’ll have an average gain of 30–60 degrees — exploitable for things like home heating, though not hot enough to make a nice pot of tea. The temperature at the earth’s core, 4,000 miles down, is usually quoted as 5,000 degrees Celsius … The temperature at the surface of the Sun is around 6,000 degrees Celsius, while at the center, where nuclear fusion is going on big time, things get up over 10 million degrees.

So the bad news for Gore is that when he says Earth’s core temperature is several million degrees, he’s off by…uhhh…several million degrees.

The good news is that that’s about as close as he’s come on any of his scientific pronouncements.

Why does anyone pay any attention to this moron?

Source: National Review

Paris law makes it illegal for women to wear pants. Hillary to break diplomatic relations?

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton must be livid. Turns out Paris still has a law on the books that prohibits women from wearing pants. That, of course, makes her world-class collection of pant suits worthless in the City of Lights.

hillary_pantsuit

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton must be livid. Turns out Paris still has a law on the books that prohibits women from wearing pants. That, of course, makes her world-class collection of pant suits worthless in the City of Lights.

The Telegraph UK reports this odd tale from the land of ungrateful frogs and women with hairy arm pits:

The rule banning women from dressing like men – namely by wearing trousers – was first introduced in 1800 by Paris’ police chief and has survived repeated attempts to repeal it.

The 1800 rule stipulated than any Parisienne wishing to dress like a man “must present herself to Paris’ main police station to obtain authorisation”.

In 1892 it was slightly relaxed thanks to an amendment which said trousers were permitted “as long as the woman is holding the reins of a horse”.

Then in 1909, the decree was further watered down when an extra clause was added to allow women in trousers on condition they were “on a bicycle or holding it by the handlebars”.

In 1969, amid a global movement towards gender equality, the Paris council asked the city’s police chief to bin the decree. His response was: “It is unwise to change texts which foreseen or unforeseen variations in fashion can return to the fore.”

The latest attempt to remove the outmoded rule was in 2003, when a Right-wing MP from President Nicolas Sarkozy’s UMP party wrote to the minister in charge of gender equality. The minister’s response was:

“Disuse is sometimes more efficient than (state) intervention in adapting the law to changing mores.”

“They can kiss my ass,” Hillary reportedly muttered.

To which Nicolas Sarkozy responded, “Ce, ma cheri, serait un emploi à plein temps.”

Translation: That, my dear, would be a full-time job.”

Source: Telegraph UK

In addition to saving or creating jobs, Obama’s now saving and creating entire congressional districts

Barack Obama not only creates jobs where none exist, he creates entire congressional districts where none exist.

Obama's Imaginary Congressional District Czar researching the number of jobs that have been saved or created
Obama's Imaginary Congressional District Czar researching the number of jobs that have been saved or created

No wonder his admirers think Barack Obama is The Greatest President In History. The guy not only creates jobs where none exist, he creates entire congressional districts where none exist.

“The Obama administration,” ABC News reports, “under fire for inflating job growth from the $787 billion stimulus plan, slashed over 60,000 jobs from its most recent report on the program because the reporting outlets had submitted ‘unrealistic data,’ according to a document obtained by ABC News.”

For example, Alabama’s Talladega County claimed 5,000 jobs had been saved or created from only $42,000 in stimulus funds. Ohio’s Belmont Metropolitan Housing Authority reported 16,120 jobs saved or created thanks to $1.3 million in stimulus money. Alabama’s Shelton State Community College used $27,000 in stimulus funds to save or create 14,500 jobs. And Alaska’s Alkan Builders used $11 mil to save or create 3,000 saved or created jobs.

Unfortunately, the reporting was bogus and all those jobs have been quietly subtracted from the 1,000,000 jobs Obama now claims he’s saved or created.

But the Obama administration, never sticklers for the truth, also claimed that Arizona’s 15th congressional district was able to use $761,420 to save 30 jobs. In one Iowa district, $10.6 million spent to create 39 jobs. And another 25 jobs were created in Connecticut’s 42nd district.

Problem is, those congressional districts – and many others listed in the government’s report – do not exist. Well, to be 100% accurate, they do exist, but only in the minds of White House imagineers.

Now that Obama has created these districts, Nancy Pelosi will soon begin crowing that evil Republicans want to deny the districts’ voters their constitutionally-guaranteed rights. The ACLU will rush in to file a suit on their behalf. Dead people from Chicago will move en masse to those districts so they can vote. And the Democrats will gain another ten seats in congress.

The sad part is that you’re wondering right now if that last paragraph is a joke.

Source: ABC News

President’s ousted Communications Director says “the war on Fox News worked”

Anita Dunn said that the White House criticism has been effective in preventing other networks from picking up stories broken by Fox.

Anita Dunn even tilts to the left in her photos
Anita Dunn even tilts to the left in her photos

Remember when some wit said we should end the war in Vietnam by simply taking the troops home and announcing that we’d won? Former White House Communications Director Anita Dunn seems to be using the same philosophy in the President’s War on Fox.

Verum Serum has the details:

[S]he said that the White House criticism has been effective in preventing other networks from picking up stories broken by Fox.

“It did help people get a sense of perspective again,” Dunn said. “People took a step back and said, ‘Hmm, am I really wanting to go chase those stories?’”

Actually, Anita, what people did was take a step back and say, “Hmm, if Obama can figure out a strategy for a war with Fox, why can’t he figure out a strategy for the war in Afghanistan?”

Source: Verum Serum

Brits say, “Shut the hell up. Global warming’s not our fault”

Despite dozens of years and millions of dollars spent to pound the global warming drum, the Brits aren’t buying it. Not one little bit.

A little global warming might feel good right about now
A little global warming might feel good right about now

Despite dozens of years and millions of dollars spent to pound the global warming drum, the Brits aren’t buying it. Not one little bit.

Here’s how the Times UK tells the tale:

Less than half the population believes that human activity is to blame for global warming, according to an exclusive poll for The Times.

The revelation that ministers have failed in their campaign to persuade the public that the greenhouse effect is a serious threat requiring urgent action will make uncomfortable reading for the Government as it prepares for next month’s climate change summit in Copenhagen.

Only 41 per cent accept as an established scientific fact that global warming is taking place and is largely man-made. Almost a third (32 per cent) believe that the link is not yet proved; 8 per cent say that it is environmentalist propaganda to blame man and 15 per cent say that the world is not warming.

Tory voters are more likely to doubt the scientific evidence that man is to blame. Only 38 per cent accept it, compared with 45 per cent of Labour supporters and 47 per cent of Liberal Democrat voters.

That sound you hear is Al Gore whimpering over in the corner. You can’t miss him. He’s the fat one with the big ass carbon footprint.

Source: Times UK

Obama dunks on an old, fat white guy

There’s a very important lesson to be learned from this official White House photo.

obama_basketball

There’s a very important lesson to be learned  from this official White House photo.

obama-basketball-logo Consider it proof that white guys can’t jump.

Especially if they’re old and fat. Especially if they’re playing basketball against their boss. Especially if that boss is the President of the United States. Especially if the boss brings a basketball emblazoned with his own logo.

Source: Politico.com

Texas governor says Obama’s making America socialist, foreign Communists seem to agree

Texas Governor Rick Perry didn’t mince words in a recent speech: “This is an administration hell-bent on taking America towards a socialist country.”

Texas Governor Rick Perry didn’t mince words in a recent speech:

“This is an administration hell-bent on taking America towards a socialist country.”

While American leftists find this comment shocking, foreign leftists seem to agree with Perry.

Breitbart.com reports:

The Chinese have learned English from his speeches and celebrated the way he rolls up his sleeves. Now President Barack Obama is finally coming, and he’s being greeted with “Oba Mao” T-shirts and a statue of him that bursts into flames.

The Associated Press reveals that Fidel Castro has a man crush on Obama and warmly welcomes him to the ranks of Communist leaders. Or his boudoir. We’re not sure which Castro wants more.

Fidel Castro appears to have a fascination with the American leader that would make Obama Girl jealous, writing obsessively not only about his politics, but of his youth and vigor.

And unlike with past American heads-of-state — he slammed President George W. Bush as a genocidal drunk — Castro seems to genuinely like the fresh face in Washington.

Since handing over the Cuban presidency to his brother in February 2008, the 83-year-old has continued to publish his thoughts in essays called “Reflections of Comrade Fidel,” which are dutifully printed in state media and read repeatedly on government-controlled radio and television.

Hardly a week goes by without a mention of his nemesis to the north, the most recent on Thursday. In an opinion piece that took up an entire newspaper page, Castro waxed philosophic about everything from Obama’s Asia trip to his prospects for re-election.

Last month, Castro pronounced it a good thing that the American president was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. In September, he termed Obama’s call-to-action on global warming courageous.

See, Obama is bringing people together. Who ever thought an evil Republican fascist racist homophobe like Rick Perry would find himself agreeing with Fidel Castro, the wise elder of the “progressive” movement?

Source: Breitbart.com, Associated Press

You’re going to die. World leaders admit no global warming treaty will be passed.

Copenhagen, we were told, was our last chance to save the world from global warming. That was then. This is now. And world leaders now agree that no meaningful agreement will be arrived at in Copenhagen.

Gordon Brown demonstrates the liberal masturbation that is global warming.
Gordon Brown demonstrates the liberal masturbation that is global warming.

Copenhagen, we were told, was our last chance to save the world from global warming.

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown set the ominous tone a few weeks ago when he said we had just 50 days to save the world. “If we do not reach a deal at this time,” Brown warned, “let us be in no doubt: once the damage from unchecked emissions growth is done, no retrospective global agreement, in some future period, can undo that choice….”

“… the Copenhagen agreement is almost certainly the world’s last chance to put global emissions onto a trajectory that can keep us out of the danger zone,” European Environment Commissioner Stavros Dimas added.

That was then. This is now. And world leaders now agree that no meaningful agreement will be arrived at in Copenhagen. It hasn’t even come up for debate in the United States Senate. China and India want us to give them billions of dollars so they can continue their wicked ways. And the people of the world don’t believe a word of this nonsense.

There’s only one thing to do:

Call an attorney. Get a will written. Make sure your affairs are in order. And buy some future beachfront property in Denver. Because if the socialists of the world weren’t lying, the oceans will soon be lapping at your feet.

Gordon Brown and Stavros Dimas said so.

33 remarkable bits of wisdom revealed through anagrams

An anagram is a word or phrase created by rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The ancients believed the results often revealed hidden truths. And, Dan Brown’s best seller The Lost Symbol demonstrated the importance of the number 33,

"I'm a macho belle" (Can even the most skeptical among us still doubt the wisdom of anagrams?)
"I'm a macho belle" (Can even the most skeptical among us still doubt the wisdom of anagrams?)

An anagram is a word or phrase created by rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The ancients believed the results often revealed hidden truths. And, Dan Brown’s best seller The Lost Symbol demonstrated the importance of the number 33, which makes it even more astonishing that we come up with not 32, not 34, but exactly 33 modern day anagrams. What are the odds?

We normally don’t buy into that kind of mystic claptrap, but by God, it works.

Seeing is believing:

  1. “Joe Biden” = “I Need Job”
  2. “Copenhagen” = “Enhance GOP”
  3. “Stimulus” = “It Slums Us”
  4. “ObamaCare” = “A Arab Come”
  5. “Climate Change” = “Am Elegant Chic”
  6. “President Obama” = “I Resent A Bad Mop”
  7. “Salman Rushdie” = “Read, Shun Islam”
  8. “Hope And Change” = “Had Copenhagen”
  9. “Hope and Change” = “Dang, He No Cheap”
  10. “Nancy Pelosi” = “No Spy Can Lie”
  11. “Michelle Obama” = “I’m A Macho Belle”
  12. “Vladimir Putin” = “A Livid Imp Runt”
  13. “Al Sharpton” = “Halt, Parson”
  14. “Progressive” = “Serve GOP, Sir”
  15. “Statue of Liberty” = “Built to Stay Free”
  16. “Osama Bin Laden” = “Is A Banal Demon”
  17. “Chris Matthews” = “Chatters Whims”
  18. “New York Times” = “Monkeys Write”
  19. “David Letterman” = “Nerd Amid Late TV”
  20. “Hussein Obama” = “Is A Humane SOB”
  21. “President Obama” = “Not A Bad Premise”
  22. “Cap And Trade” = “Can Adapt Red”
  23. “George Bush” = “He Bugs Gore”
  24. “Albert Arnold Gore” = “Aberrant Droll Ego”
  25. “Bill Ayers” = “Be Sly, Liar”
  26. “Barbara Walters” = “A Rare Wart Blabs”
  27. “Huffington Post” = “Huffing Snot Pot”
  28. “John Kerry” = “Horny Jerk”
  29. “Rahm Emanuel” = “Anal Here, Mum”
  30. “Saved Or Created” = “Advocates Erred”
  31. “William Clinton” = “I’m It, An Ill Clown”
  32. “Ahmadinejad” = “Named A Jihad”
  33. “I Hate The Media” = “A Hit Theme Idea”

Next time your boss gives you a raise, send President Obama a thank you note

Thanks to a unique, new economic theory promulgated by the Obama administration, salary increases count as some of those “jobs saved” for which President Obama so proudly pats himself on the back.

Save a job. Give someone a raise.
Save a job. Give someone a raise.

Thanks to a unique, new economic theory promulgated by the Obama administration, salary increases count as some of those “jobs saved” for which President Obama so proudly pats himself on the back.

The Associated Press explains President Obama’s unique economic theory as best it can:

President Barack Obama’s economic recovery program saved 935 jobs at the Southwest Georgia Community Action Council, an impressive success story for the stimulus plan. Trouble is, only 508 people work there.

The Georgia nonprofit’s inflated job count is among persisting errors in the government’s latest effort to measure the effect of the $787 billion stimulus plan despite White House promises last week that the new data would undergo an “extensive review” to root out errors discovered in an earlier report.

About two-thirds of the 14,506 jobs claimed to be saved under one federal office, the Administration for Children and Families at Health and Human Services, actually weren’t saved at all, according to a review of the latest data by The Associated Press. Instead, that figure includes more than 9,300 existing employees in hundreds of local agencies who received pay raises and benefits and whose jobs weren’t saved.

The story continues:

But officials defended the practice of counting raises as saved jobs.

“If I give you a raise, it is going to save a portion of your job,” HHS spokesman Luis Rosero said.

And if Rosero parrots this crap convincingly enough, it could save his job.

Source: Associated Press

Obama bows to the Japanese emperor. And bows. And bows. And bows. And bows. And bows. And bows.

The media is now reporting that President Obama bowed when meeting Japanese Emperor Akihito. But it wasn’t just one bow. It was seven bows. Fact is, he was bobbing up and down like one of those old Happy Drinking Birds.

When President Obama bowed the Saudi King the left leapt to his defense and said he was actually bending over because he was so much taller than Abudllah.

The media is now reporting that he bowed when meeting Japanese Emperor Akihito. But it wasn’t just one bow. It was seven bows. Fact is, he was bobbing up and down like one of those old Happy Drinking Birds.

Look for Happy Drinking Bird to be promoted to the White House Office of Protocol.

Robin Hood in reverse: Baltimore mayor steals from the poor, gives to herself

In the time-honored bait-and-switch tradition of the Democrat party, Baltimore’s Mayor Sheila Dixon is on trial for using holiday gift cards that were donated to the needy for her own personal shopping sprees.

Perhaps Sheila Dixon could use some of those gift cards to buy a dress that doesn't look like your grandmother's sofa
Perhaps Sheila Dixon could use some of those gift cards to buy a dress that doesn't look like your grandmother's sofa

In the time-honored bait-and-switch tradition of the Democrat party, Baltimore’s Mayor Sheila Dixon is on trial for using holiday gift cards that were donated to the needy for her own personal shopping sprees.

“Dixon, 55, will put her political future in the hands of a jury Monday, when her trial on theft charges begins. She’s accused of asking wealthy developer pals to donate gift cards worth thousands of dollars, saying they would be given to poor families — then using them to buy electronics at Best Buy, clothes at Old Navy and knickknacks at Target. If convicted, she would be tossed out of office.”

Dixon, often called a “classic” Democrat, also faces perjury charges. Turns out she didn’t report gifts from her ex-boyfriend, a real estate developer who got tax breaks from the city.

Dixon, whose salary is $151,700, has assembled a high-priced team of seven attorneys. She refuses to say how she’s able to pay her exorbitant legal bills, but it’s rumored that she shopped around for attorneys who would accept Target gift cards in lieu of cash.

Dixon, said to be in need of a new Winter wardrobe and a home entertainment center, has stated she won’t let these allegations interfere with her fund raising efforts for the poor.

Source: Associated Press

Is it really a typo if it’s accurate?

The folks over at RegretTheError.com scour the world’s newspapers looking for interesting typos, errors and corrections. They’ve come up with a gem involving Burma’s brutal military regime:

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The folks over at RegretTheError.com scour the world’s newspapers looking for interesting typos, errors and corrections. They’ve come up with a gem involving Burma’s brutal military regime:

An information leaflet from the junta’s Ministry of Information promoting the annual Traditional Performing Arts Competition has an irksome misspelling of a Burmese word that has irritated and embarrassed the military leadership.

The misspelling of one Burmese word occurred in the title of a play meant to honor the Tatmadaw (military). Instead of “Sons as Valuable as Treasure,” the title read “Sons Who Make Their Parents Suffer.”

The information leaflets have been distributed to a wide audience, including the generals.

Not to get all serious here, but a typo that accidentally reveals the truth is almost zen-like.

Source: Regret the Error

Nancy Pelosi stars in horror flick with Brad Pitt

WARNING: This may be the most frightening video ever produced. Be prepared to be horrified. The weak of heart should avoid this clip at all costs.

WARNING: This may be the most frightening video ever produced. Be prepared to be horrified. The weak of heart should avoid this clip at all costs.

Life imitates Cheers: Woody runs for office, promises “change”

Frasier believes that anyone — even a country bumpkin like Woody — can get elected if he’s willing to spout meaningless cliches. His advice to Woody? Don’t say anything specific — just keep repeating vapid slogans like “change.”

This is eerie. Eerie and hilarious.

Cheers’ bartender Woody Boyd decides to run for the city council. Psychiatrist and barfly Frasier Crane, the bar’s elitist snob, becomes his campaign manager.

Frasier believes that anyone — even a country bumpkin like Woody — can get elected if he’s willing to spout meaningless cliches. His advice to Woody? Don’t say anything specific — just keep repeating vapid slogans like “change.”

Could this episode have been any more prescient?

Source: Big Hollywood

Top ten things overheard while Obama was bowing to Emperor Akihito

Top ten things overheard while Barack Obama was bowing to Emperor Akihito.

obama-bows-emperor-akihito

    10. “Hey, look, somebody dropped a quarter on the floor.”
    9. ”My back is killing me, Aki. Could your wife give me one of those geisha girl massages?”
    8. ”That short little son of a bitch George Stephanopoulos would fit right in around here.”
    7. ”Did you know I’m Indonesian?”
    6. ”The least you can do is thank me for boosting your economy with that idiotic Cash-for-Clunkers idea.”
    5. ”Where can a guy find a good crispy California roll in this town?”
    4. ”Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.”
    3. ”We have a lot in common. Some people think I’m a living god, too.”
    2. ”Just to even things up, how about if you drop a couple A-bombs on Dallas and Houston.”
    1. ”So then, Aki, I bent over like this and said, ‘Hillary, kiss my ass.”
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